Cold Secrets
by MayLauren
Summary: She's a single-mother, a librarian, and now head over heels for a blonde science teacher. Honeymaren has delivered coffee to Professor Aren everyday for two months now; all in the hopes of getting to know her better. Elsa is beautiful, intelligent, and painfully closed-off. Yet, Honeymaren is determined to break down her walls. \Click for full-summary\ ElsaMaren Modern-AU\
1. Chapter 1

**_Cold Secrets_**

\- M. Lauren

* * *

**Rating - **M, for explicit language, graphic imagery, and sexual situations.

**Summary -** _ "Do you make it a habit of spying on people, or is it just me?" Honeymaren teased._

She's a single-mother, a librarian, and now head over heels for a blonde science teacher. Honeymaren has delivered coffee to Professor Aren everyday for two months now; all in the hopes of getting to know her better. Elsa is beautiful, intelligent, and painfully closed-off. However, Honeymaren is determined to break down her walls, and hopefully not her heart in the process.

Flattered yet shocked, Elsa struggles to find the courage to let this new woman in. The librarian with an unusual name is interesting and full of mystery- as are the books she loves to read. Unfortunately, as the two embark on a new relationship, their secrets begin to drive a wedge between them. As it turns out, Honeymaren's story is all too reminiscent of Elsa's, own, complexly dark past...

* * *

**Chapter One**

* * *

**Seeing her here, Elsa nearly didn't recognize her.** Long brown hair, flawless coffee-coloured skin; it was definitely her. She was the woman who worked weekdays at the university library. Elsa often spent her afternoons hiding in the study rooms, and avoiding the students who refused to look up her office hours. They were stubborn like that.

The woman was kind; quiet. Elsa also sensed she might have a bit of a feisty side to her, too. Though, she had never seen it exercised before. It was in the subtle roll of her eyes after the head librarian would walk away. And when she'd scold the students for late returns, not caring how they might talk behind her back after.

Some afternoons, the woman would return from break with a second coffee in hand. She'd give it to Elsa, smile, and Elsa couldn't help but feel guilty for not having learned her name. She was always too startled by the gesture to respond. The most she'd brought herself to offer was a mumbled, 'thank you'; often followed by a blush. However, the woman never appeared bothered, and it comforted Elsa to see that.

Until today, Elsa had never noticed her outside of the library. She looked different in her casual blue jeans and plain t-shirt. Even her hair was left loose, free from its usual braid. Long brown curls cascaded down her back and scattered against the white fabric.

She stood at the counter as the barista took her order. Her hands fumbled through the folds of her purse. She appeared frazzled, rushing through the process. Yet, before Elsa knew it, she was standing from her seat, and approaching the register to help.

"I've got this one covered." She slid past the woman, handing the barista her phone.

She stepped back, eyes cautious. The woman turned to her with her head cocked to the side.

"It's about time I had the opportunity to get you back for all those coffees." Elsa smiled, leading the woman away from the counter. "You have always been so kind to me. I'm happy to finally return the favor."

The woman blinked. "Thank you?" she sang unsurely. "I mean, thanks..."

"Anytime," Elsa shrugged. Her eyes scanned to the side, checking on her things at the table across the cafe. She suddenly felt uncomfortable, and wondered if she'd made a mistake.

"I mean it." The woman continued, reiterating her response. "You didn't have to do this. It's awesome, really!"

Elsa batted her off. "Don't mention it…" she paused. "Though, I've just realized I never caught your name before."

Grinning, she laughed with a shake of her head. "It's Honeymaren- strange, I know! My mother was a comic of sorts, I think. You can call me Maren if it's easier for you?"

"Honeymaren," Elsa nodded. "I'm Elsa," She extended her hand.

"Professor Aren, I know." Their hands met briefly.

"You took my class?"

She watched Elsa's eyes turn wide. "No, but I do overhear the students talking about you sometimes…"

A steady blush surfaced over her cheeks. "Nothing awful, I hope."

"Oh no, nothing like that." Honeymaren assured her.

Their conversation pulled to a halt as the barista called to them from behind the counter. She held Honeymaren's coffee out to her. Her fingers laced around the cup, and she smiled before turning back to Elsa.

"I'm actually meeting someone here, or else I'd stay and chat for a bit."

"No, no worries." Elsa pursed her lips. "I have papers to grade, and it's Saturday! I imagine you want to get back to enjoying your day off."

Something faint yet strange, flickered behind Honeymaren's eyes; but as quickly as it was there, it fell away.

"Thanks again for the coffee." She motioned with her cup. "I'll be sure to get you back next week."

Elsa stepped away from her. "That is really not necessary..."

Honeymaren simply shrugged and turned her back on Elsa. She cut through the dining area, flashing a tiny smirk over her shoulder as she walked away. Baffled, Elsa rolled her eyes to calm herself. She quickly returned to her seat. Her eyes fought against the notes to hold them there, but something kept directing them across the room.

Honeymaren sat alone with her back to her. Long minutes went by, and Elsa couldn't help but stare. She'd never known why Honeymaren went out of her way to be kind to her. The first time she brought Elsa coffee, she claimed it was an accident made by the cafe. Yet now, two months later, the deliveries hadn't stopped.

Elsa wasn't great at reading people, nor their motives. Throughout high school, her sister had been relentless in telling her so. Elsa assumed Honeymaren was friendly. Perhaps it was loneliness that drove her to be so kind? Or maybe she wanted someone to talk to...

Or, though it made little sense, perhaps it was that she was interested in seeing her outside of work...

Despite the nerves that sparked beneath her skin, Elsa was unbothered by the thought. She had made a career out of turning down dates. First there'd been her undergrad, then her masters, and then the five hundred practical hours she'd finished in July. She'd never had time to date, and now that she did; she wasn't certain she wanted to. At the end of the day, Elsa was thankful that Honeymaren wasn't intrusive. If she was interested in dating her, Honeymaren was, at bare minimum, being polite about it.

Elsa's wandering thoughts were pulled back to the present when a man quickly swept past her shoulder. Nearly knocking over a table of patrons, he hurried toward the back booths. The man sat across from Honeymaren and flashed her an apologetic grin.

He was attractive. That went without saying. His dark complexion was smooth, and his jaw, wide. He had magnificent hazel eyes, a perfect smile, and short hair. Even the man's clothes were iron-pressed. Elsa could only assume he came from money.

She was stuck watching as he extended his arm across the table. Honeymaren pulled her hand from his reach and leveled him with words Elsa could not hear. There was evidently tension between the two. Elsa told herself that was why she was staring so intently. She didn't know this woman well, but she felt responsible to make sure Honeymaren was safe. It wasn't that she didn't trust this man. Elsa didn't know him, but Honeymaren made it no secret that she was bothered by his presence.

Elsa could see him trying his best moves with her. The way he shrugged, bat his hand, and smirked; he was used to getting his way. However, Honeymaren acted as if she had seen this all before. She was stern in her mannerisms. Her back was rigid, and her movements, stiff. She appeared impatient as she spoke to him, hands flying against her words. Whatever this meetup was, Honeymaren wanted it over with as quickly as possible.

Suddenly, the man's eyes turned to meet Elsa's. He mumbled something, and then Honeymaren's head was rotating as well. In a breath, Elsa had dropped her gaze, but not before seeing Honeymaren frown. She'd been caught staring by this kind stranger. She was spying; eavesdropping. _It was embarrassing... _

Uncomfortable, Elsa began packing up her things.

She couldn't work while this odd meeting taking place across from her, and she certainly didn't want to be caught staring again. Her computer and papers went flying into her bag. There was no organization to it as she stood. Quickly, she zipped it, and hurried towards the door.

Elsa didn't look back while she crossed the street, yet she thought about doing so even after she sat in her car with the belt across her lap.

Something was off-putting about that man. What she found stranger was the way Honeymaren behaved with him there.

It was no secret to Elsa now, that this woman surprised her. She was unnaturally kind, and felt a mystery in comparison to the other staff members that Elsa knew. Now, there was a man involved; an peculiar man with a cocky personality and smooth grin. Elsa couldn't place him. The two appeared too different to be in a relationship.

But there was something between them, yes, and Elsa wanted to know what.

It was a riddle of sorts, one to be unraveled...

Unfortunately, Elsa was not the type of person to get involved.

* * *

_Cheers,_

_-M._


	2. Chapter 2

_ **Cold Secrets** _

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Two**

* * *

_ **"You are not very subtle, you know?"** _

The voice circled in from over her shoulder. A coffee cup followed and settled beside her hand. Elsa did not need to turn to know who it was. She may not have heard the voice many times before, but there was only one person who'd been known to be this forward. Besides, if Elsa said she hadn't expected to be confronted... she would be lying.

"I could feel you staring long before I caught you."

Biting her lip, Elsa spun in her seat. Her nose scrunched and her eyes lowered.

"Subtlety is not in my skill set." She blushed. "I apologize, it was inappropriate of me to be staring. I honestly- I'm not sure why I did that…"

Honeymaren's brow arched. She moved further into the room; an action which took Elsa by surprise. Never before had she said more than a few words to her, and she'd certainly never stayed to talk. Either Elsa really messed up, or she was right about Honeymaren needing a friend.

"So, what are we working on today?" She sat beside her. Honeymaren's eyes drifted over the stacks of papers across the desk.

"Midterms." Elsa's head raised cautiously to hers. "They're… pretty terrible this year…"

Nodding slowly, Honeymaren's lips drew to the side. "What made you go into the whole teaching thing, anyway? Can't say I'm not a little surprised."

"Why's that?" Confusion flickered across her brow.

Honeymaren shrugged. "You're quiet. Not very stern with the students, but they seem to like you... so that's good."

"I like science." she explained, and more nonchalantly than it felt. "I wasn't certain what I could do with a degree in it at first, but then a position opened up at the university. I thought, why not, and it's actually… kinda fun." Elsa smiled softly. "I like the students, and environmental studies is my specialty."

She hummed. Honeymaren turned her eyes back to the papers. "I understand none of this." She pointed. "I mean, mesosphere, stratosphere- what are these things? Should I be worried about them?"

Giggling, Elsa shook her head. "Not immediately, no, but with global warming taking its toll on the planet; we will all have to worry about them eventually."

"Great…" Honeymaren drawled. "I think I will stick to shelving books instead."

Elsa's lips curled into a small smile. "Why the library, then? You've asked me, therefore it's only fair I receive an answer in return."

"Is that how it works?" Her smirk returned. Honeymaren's fingers drummed against the desk as she leaned back in her seat. "Well, if you say so… My degree is in Classic Lit and Library Sciences. I'm still, slowly but surely, working towards the certificate hours, but hopefully when I finish those I can start somewhere new with a nice pay raise."

Eyes lightening, Elsa folded her hands into her lap. "You like to read?"

"Classics, mostly." Honeymaren nodded. "But every once and a while I find something modern worth my time."

Her gaze fell to the desk and Elsa tapped her foot. "I'm a pretty big fan of the classics as well..."

"There's no one like Morrison."

"I have to agree." Elsa's attention returned.

Honeymaren considered her silently for a moment. Her brown eyes slowly searched between Elsa's. Then suddenly, she stood.

Honeymaren headed for the door, turning her head back over her shoulder. "Well, anyway, I have to get back to work. Quit your spying now, okay?"

"I'm so sorry about that…" Elsa started, her blush resurfacing, but Honeymaren didn't stay to listen.

She departed from sight, having closed the door to the study room behind her. Elsa was alone now, once again staring in the direction that this mystery woman had gone.

* * *

When Elsa returned to her apartment that evening, she was greeted by the embrace of tiny arms. They worked their way around her legs, holding her stuck still.

"You're late!" The scolding followed next.

Elsa rounded the foyer to find her sister standing in her kitchen with arms folded over her chest. Ignoring her, Elsa lifted the small child to her hip.

"Hello to you, too." She cooed. Elsa's lips landed with a smack against her niece's cheek.

The one year old babbled in reply. Her chubby hands pulled at her aunt's blonde hair, and her matching blue eyes widened with excitement.

"You know, you can't hide behind my child forever!" Anna's scolding continued.

"Sure I can." Elsa sang. She moved passed her sister on her way to the hall. "I can keep Millie here with me and we can have aunty dates every night for the rest of my life."

Anna's laughter followed after her. "Wait until you see how late those evenings run. You will be begging me to take her back..."

Readjusting Millie, Elsa slipped her bag from her back. It landed by the foot of her bed with a thump, and she quickly kicked off her heels.

"So, why are you so late?" Anna continued. "Did you forget about me? Did you forget about Millie? Oh shoot, I knew I should have checked in! I'm sorry, I've been such a space case lately… It's all the packing and scheduling. I can take her to Kristoff's mother's, if you have other plans?"

"Anna, Anna, relax! I didn't forget about you, and I certainly didn't forget about my niece. I lost track of time at the library, is all! Besides, I'm only seven minutes behind schedule. Your flight's not until, what, ten?"

Elsa turned to Anna. Her brow arched playfully over her eye. At the same time, Millie wriggled in her arms, demanding to be returned to the floor. Elsa set her on her feet and watched her waddle toward her bag. Millie's hands fought against the zipper. In that moment, Elsa was thankful she wasn't skilled enough yet to open it.

"Yes, the flight's at ten thirty. We land at ten, local time, and three thirty eastern. You have the numbers for the hotel, and Kristoff's family. Her pediatrician's information is on the fridge, and her schedule for the week."

Smiling, Elsa stepped toward her. She took Anna in her arms and hugged her tight. "Everything is under control. Don't you worry. This is a big deal for Kristoff, and you deserve to be there with him to celebrate!"

"I know, I know, it's just-" Anna's face lowered. Her lip dropped into a pout. "It's the first time I will be away from her for more than a few hours! It's hard, harder than I thought it would be. I'm happy for Kristoff and his work, but, I don't know if I want to go anymore…"

Elsa's hands soothed across Anna's back. "You're anxious. It's normal, but I promise, Millie is in great hands."

Pulling back, Anna's head tilt. "I know she will be fine, just promise you'll remind her I love her."

"Of course." Elsa assured her. "I will tell her every morning and every night."

"Twice if you have to."

Elsa smirked. "Twice."

Anna finally began to relax. She came to sit against the foot of Elsa's bed. Her feet kicked out in front of her, and Millie started playing with the laces on her shoes.

"So… the library…" Anna teased. Her gaze glowed with mirth. "You've been spending a lot of time there lately. Have you got a thing for someone hanging out behind old books?"

Shaking her head, Elsa turned her back on Anna. She headed toward the closet, and replaced her blazer along the rack. "No Anna, there are no eyes being made, nor someone you need to know about… I'm grading papers and reviewing midterms. It's all very, academic."

When she reentered the light of the bedroom, Elsa had changed from her work slacks. She was now dressed down in black leggings and a sweatshirt. Millie greeted her as if she'd been gone for days.

Elsa sat before her niece with her legs wide.

"I'll choose to believe you, for now." Anna sang.

"How very kind of you." Elsa rolled her eyes.

Millie pulled herself up by the ties on Elsa's shirt. The hood tightened around her neck and Elsa groaned. Her hands found against the fabric. She pulled it away from her chest and Millie responded with a dramatic huff.

"Okay, so back to Millie- You've got her nights. Grandma Bulda will come in the mornings and take her to daycare, and you will pick her up after work."

Elsa smiled at her. "Yes, and I have her over the weekend, and you..." she sang, "Will be back next Wednesday."

Anna released a long sigh. "You've got it, then?"

"I've got it." Elsa nodded, her eyes curling upward. "I have everything under control. Millie is safe with me. I promise."

Sitting beside them, Anna took both Elsa and Millie into her arms. She squeezed them tightly, burying her nose into Millie's soft yellow hair.

"I love you both so much!" she promised. "Mommy will be back soon."

"You hear that?" Elsa whispered to her niece. "Mommy is leaving which means Aunty Elsa will spoil you rotten all week." She touched a finger to her nose, pulling from Anna's hold.

"No, no more clothes!" Anna begged. "All of the adults at her school are wondering why Millie looks so high-class while her parents look like dingy misfits!"

Elsa giggled. "Nope, it's my job to spoil her. You will just have to learn to ignore the stares, or better yet; go out and by yourself some new clothes."

"Just you wait," Anna continued. "You'll see those parents at pickup tomorrow and you will know exactly what I am talking about."

Her sadness returned in full-force. As Anna opened back up her arms, Elsa returned to them. Her cheek nuzzled against her sister shoulder, and they both released a sigh.

"Everything's going to be fine, Anna, I promise."

* * *

_ Cheers, _

_ -M. _


	3. Chapter 3

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Three**

* * *

**Everything was not fine, Elsa decided. **

She was hurried across campus, nearly sprinting, and tardy for her first class of the day. Punctuality was highlighted across Elsa's syllabus. From here out, she knew she would have to be more lenient with students who straggled in the halls. Grandma Bulda, Kristoff's adoptive mother, had been late picking up Millie before work. She'd been stuck in traffic on the interstate. The city was known for its terrible commute. Elsa was waiting by the door, holding her crying niece, when the woman had ripped her from her arms.

Elsa felt bad, then. She couldn't help it. Of course it wasn't her fault, but that was not how she anticipated ending their first morning together. Now she was late, and Millie was a wreck. Elsa could only hope she would calm down at daycare.

Millie was still high on her mind when she barreled through the doors to the Science Building. Her heels clicked harshly over the tile. Elsa's heart was racing as she slid to a stop at the end of the hall.

She entered her class, muttering hurried apologies while she put down her things. Elsa reeled in a deep breath and turned her attention to the class. Her face fell from stressed to surprised in a matter of seconds.

It was empty; the entire class was empty. There was not a single student in sight. Frowning, Elsa turned to her phone. She thumbed quickly through her calendar, confusion thick in her brain.

"It's Thursday!" she exclaimed. Her phone slammed down against the lab table.

She only had afternoon classes on Thursdays.

With a huff, Elsa replaced her bag on her shoulder. She turned from the room and entered the hall. If this was how her day was starting, Elsa had little hope for the rest of it. She was in need of a coffee, and a nap.

This parent thing was harder than she'd previously thought.

* * *

Despite her rough start, the rest of the day moved with ease. Elsa made it to her afternoon classes on time, and was right on schedule to pick up Millie from daycare.

Millie's school was in the heart of downtown. Anna had selected it due to its proximity to the DCF offices, which was where she worked during the week. It had great reviews, yet a long and miserable waiting list. Luckily, Millie had made the cut. Anna and Kristoff never had to worry; unlike most other new parents in the area. Elsa always wondered why picking daycares was such a chore for families. She was also curious if she'd ever have the opportunity to discover why, herself.

Mayweather Montessori was located in an old brick building on the corner of Glacier Ave. Though the exterior was dated, the inside was well-modernized, and professionally cleaned. It had a great security system, which was a bonus. Beneath the white arches, the main door locked with a keypad from the outside. There were cameras on every corner and all throughout the classrooms. It was every new parents' dream.

Upon arriving, Elsa dug through her purse, looking for the door code. Anna had given it to her on a slip of scrap paper, but it appeared to be missing from her things. Groaning, Elsa placed her purse on the rockwall beside the door. She began removing its contents and laying them out against the rocks;_ one by one by one. _

"Fancy sunglasses you've got there." Someone teased Elsa from behind.

"Oh, thank you…" She shrugged.

Her back held to them. Elsa continued fumbling, distracted as she searched through each pocket in her purse.

"Have you lost something?" The voice came again. Only this time, the person circled in at Elsa's hip.

She looked up. Elsa's eyes gave a double blink. "Honeymaren?" she asked, and her head tilt to the side.

"Is there a problem?" Honeymaren asked again. She stepped back with her arms crossed.

"No, I- what are you doing here?" She shook her head.

Lips pursed, Honeymaren lowered her eyes. "May I help you with something, or are you looking to be pick-pocketed? I mean, this isn't the worst neighborhood in the area, but I definitely wouldn't consider putting all my things on display…"

Aggravated, Elsa grumbled. "I lost my code for the door! I'm trying to get into the school here, and I must have left the silly code on my kitchen table. My sister cannot know about this! I wonder if I can call inside and ask them to open the door for me? Oh god, I can be so scatterbrained sometimes!"

She fought for her phone, but Honeymaren stopped her. "I can let you inside."

Elsa's eyes shot forward. "You can?" She frowned.

"Yeah, just put your stuff away. You're making me nervous..."

Elsa did as she requested and restuffed her bag. When she finished Honeymaren was standing by the school's entrance. Hand to the keypad, she typed in her code. The door clicked, and Honeymaren held it open to her.

Eyeing her skeptically, Elsa slid inside. "Thank you," she whispered, and the doors closed behind them. "I'm picking up my niece. I'm still getting used to this whole… kid, schedule… thing?" She blushed.

"It's okay. I get it." Honeymaren nudged her with an elbow. "How old's your niece? What class is she in?"

Blinking again, Elsa fumbled. "Class? Um, she's one."

"Okay," Honeymaren stepped forward with a stiff nod. "You are headed to the back, then, with me..."

Elsa was blindly following Honeymaren down the hall. Neither the colorful murals nor the hanging artwork could distract her from the confusion she felt in that moment. She was uncomfortable. This was out of place for both of them, and it didn't make any sense.

"What, um, what are you doing here?" Elsa asked.

Honeymaren didn't respond. She continued around a corner, revealing another row of doors. Each one was numbered; classes eight and down. Elsa wondered if Anna had told her which door was Millie's? She probably had, and Elsa forgot. She silently groaned as she felt her embarrassment rise.

At the end of the corridor, a final red door with a bright number one opened to them. A woman with a young boy in hand hurried past them. She said nothing, nor did she look at them. Honeymaren caught the door handle before it closed. She nodded to Elsa, once again, motioning for her to go first.

Elsa did as she was told. _Thank goodness for Honeymaren_, she decided.

Elsa had barely turned into the room before her attention was pulled elsewhere. Far off feet sprinted against tile floor. A desperate whine started at the back of a throat.

"Momma!" Came the cries of a child.

From across the room, their face buried behind a gate as their hands wrapped around the bars. A teacher unlatched the exit for them. A small boy, perhaps a few months older than Millie, came barreling toward the door. Honeymaren turned just in time to catch him. His cheeks squished between her knees and his arms laced behind them.

Elsa was staring again. Honeymaren worked to ignore it. She leaned down and lifted the boy to her hip.

"How was your day, baby?" Her lips pressed to his head. She pulled back and smiled at him.

The child responded with something incoherent.

_"May I help you?" _

Elsa heard the question, and slowly pulled her eyes away. The teacher had her head tilted toward her. Her hands tucked against her side.

"Oh, of course…" Elsa was fishing through her purse once more. She held her id out to the attendant and smiled. "I'm here to pick up my niece, Millie. My sister said she called the school to let them know I would be doing pickup this week while she's away."

"Yes, Mrs. Bjorgman did say her sister was coming. Let me just make a quick copy of your id and we can get Millie signed out."

The woman headed over to the teacher's station, leaving the gate ajar. Elsa tentatively stepped forward. She looked over the divider and found Millie seated on the floor. She was surrounded by a few children her age. They all had their hands occupied with a pile of red blocks.

Millie looked up as her aunt moved toward her. Confusion struck first, and then she was wobbling on unsteady feet with arms outstretched. Elsa leaned down, scooping her up. Her cheek pressed into the child's head and Millie giggled.

As nonchalantly as she could manage, Elsa turned over her shoulder. Honeymaren had her back to her as she signed out her son. There was a Dinosaur bag across one hip and the boy on the other. They looked comfortable together. To Elsa, they made sense.

"Here you are." Elsa was pulled back to reality.

Millie's teacher handed her back the id. Millie's sweater and lunch box followed, and soon Elsa was wondering how she would carry it all back to her car?

"If you'll just initial and put the time next to Millie's name, you will be all set to take her home."

"Thank you," Elsa nodded. "I appreciate the help."

She took the sweater and bag over her shoulder with the purse. Elsa fumbled a bit, readjusting Millie in the other arm. When she turned, she found Honeymaren had disappeared. The book was unattended and the door had been left wide open.

Elsa couldn't help but frown, yet she forced it from her mind. Elsa signed out Millie and headed for the barron hall.

Elsa supposed the next time she would see Honeymaren- was in the library, _per usual_.

* * *

That night, Anna called to hear about Elsa's first day. Well, that wasn't entirely true. Anna cooed into the speaker, hoping her daughter might perk up and talk back. There was little progress on that front and Elsa had since stopped rolling her eyes.

"Okay, enough!" Elsa begged. She replaced the phone against her ear. "Millie is eating- or should be, I will remind you."

Anna merely groaned. "Everything is going well, though?"

"Everything is going great! Millie got to school on time. I picked her up after work, and now we're having some- what are these?" Elsa squinted at the packaging. "Rice puffs?"

Giggling, Anna shook her head. "She loves those, but be careful. One time she stole the can while my back was turned and nearly ate the entire thing!"

"Noted." Elsa teased. "So, how is California?"

"Warm! Well, warmer than there. Kristoff had his board meeting this afternoon, and tomorrow is the big party."

Millie's hands went wild across the top of her tray. Rice puffs went flying and Elsa quickly bent to her knees to retrieve them.

"That's good. Are you looking forward to it?" Her words rang breathless as she scrambled across the floor. Who knew rice puffs would roll so far?

"It should be fun, yeah! I'm just happy I can be here to support him." Anna replied.

Returning to her feet, Elsa dumped the fallen rice puffs into the trash. "For someone in the agricultural field, I imagine a raise like this is a fairly big deal. I'm happy for you both!"

"Thanks," Anna beamed. "And thank you for taking care of Millie. I feel better knowing that she's with you and not Grandma Bulda overnight."

Elsa could hear Kristoff mumbling in the background, and Anna's sharp, muffled reply.

"Of course, I love spending time with my niece."

She came to stand in front of Millie who was dropping more food onto the floor; one single, puffed rice grain _at a time_. Elsa briefly closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"I'll let you get back to it, then." Anna encouraged.

"Please do, I'm going to have to hire cleaners to locate all the food your daughter is flailing around my kitchen!"

Anna laughed. "I wish I could say she doesn't get that from me, but-"

"Oh, she most certainly does."

Pouting, Anna whispered, "Tell her I love her, okay?"

"I absolutely will. Now, remember to have some fun! There are not many times left in your life that you'll be child-free during a week in California."

"This is true…" Anna sang. "Both of you have fun, too, and don't stay home this weekend! Go use those chubby cheeks to help sell some single-aunty ass."

"I'm hanging up now." Elsa responded dryly.

"Did you just tell her to sell our daughter?" She heard Kristoff perk up.

"No… I told her to use our daughter, and sell herself!"

Kristoff uttered some sound of contentment, and Elsa grumbled.

"Goodbye, you guys... Stay out of trouble!"

"I love you!" Anna beamed.

"We love you, too…"

After putting down her phone, Elsa spun back to Millie. Her feet were kicking the underside of her tray as she munched on her snack.

"What do you think, Mil? Perhaps I can sell you and make some money before your parents come back? "

Millie's brows drew skyward as she burst into a fit of giggles. Her hands smacked the tray, and the rest of the rice puffs went flying. Letting her head fall forward, Elsa groaned.

_This was going to be a long week._

* * *

_Cheers,_

_-M._


	4. Chapter 4

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Four**

* * *

**The hum of the fan overhead had Elsa's eyes briefly closing.** It was Friday afternoon. The weekend neared. She was looking forward to having two days to spend with her niece. Unfortunately, Elsa also had a deadline. There were four short hours before grades were due. She was racing through the last of her midterms, and scrambling to make it to Millie's school on time. Oh, the woes of parenthood.

_Yes_, there was officially part of her which was grateful not to be a mother full-time.

Elsa saw the coffee before she saw her. It landed next to her hand as the one that placed it there pulled away. The chair beside her creaked. Startled, Elsa turned. Honeymaren had sat beside her with her lips curled slightly upward.

"Do you make it a habit of spying on people, or is it just me?" she teased.

Smirking, Elsa lifted the cup to her lips and drew in a slow slip. "I think you'll find that yesterday was purely coincidental." She set the coffee down.

"It did seem that way…" Honeymaren's eyes circled the ceiling.

Elsa was suddenly very aware of how uncomfortable she was. She wasn't entirely sure what she should say. Was it appropriate to comment on her son? Should she wait for Honeymaren to bring it up herself? The two were coworkers, afterall, and Elsa felt she had already overstepped their boundaries.

"So, you have a niece?" Honeymaren's eyes returned.

"I do," Elsa nodded. "-and it appears... you have a son."

"I do," Honeymaren mimicked her. "He's a handful, but he's great. His name is Ryder, by the way…"

Elsa smiled. "That's a very nice name, and he seems like a sweet boy! You're lucky to have him."

Her teeth clenched. Honeymaren's shoulders tucked against her ears. "I am, but listen- The real reason I came by was to apologize for running out on you yesterday. I probably should have stuck around to make sure everything worked out alright..."

"It's fine!" Elsa batted her off. "After you let me in and showed me the classroom, I handled the rest of it with far fewer blips. I do appreciate you helping me, though. Without you... _Yeesh…_ I would have had to confess to my sister that I forgot the code, and that would have put her in a whole panic!"

Honeymaren ran her thumbnail against the streaks of woodgrain along the desk. "I know, but I have to confess... I was feeling a little uncomfortable with you seeing my son."

"If it makes you feel better, I was feeling a little uncomfortable myself. I didn't want you to think I was overstepping by being there." Elsa's lips pursed and pulled to the side.

"It's not that I am embarrassed to have him. I love my son, but sometimes, especially in the workplace, it's safer to keep my personal life separate."

Elsa merely nodded. Relating with her own experiences in mixing work and social life, she completely understood where Honeymaren was coming from. Though, Elsa worked double time to keep those memories in the past… _exactly where they belonged. _

"I get it," Elsa said slowly, a small smile curling against her lips. "-and I have no problems keeping that information to myself."

"You see, being a mom is one thing. It's messy, and fun, and it comes with a lot of perks. There's the nightly snuggles. Bathtime is a riot, but being a mom is also fairly… _personal_. When others begin to see you as more of a mom-figure than they do a coworker or librarian's assistant, you start to feel a little less like a person."

Elsa hummed. Her eyes lowered. "Well, I don't see you that way." She offered with a slight shrug. "You're Honeymaren to me- the random weirdo who keeps delivering me coffee. Why do you do that, by the way?"

She expected a blush, or even a diversion of the eyes. Instead, Honeymaren surprised Elsa by laughing. Her unwavering stare maintained.

"I was being honest with you when I said it was a mistake! The first time, anyway... Here I was, holding two coffees; one I definitely wasn't going to drink. I don't care what season it is, pumpkin spice is terrible, you know?"

Elsa rolled her eyes, shaking her head in reply.

"Anyway, my coworker was out. I felt inappropriate giving it to a student, and you were the only other staff member in here."

"Why did you continue, then? If the first time was a mistake..." Brows lowering, Elsa considered her with a slight tilt.

"Because of your reaction..." Honeymaren said nonchalantly. Her hand turned to its palm. "You were looking at me with these wide, scared eyes. I bet you were thinking I was trying to poison you! But then you accepted it, and you were so flabbergasted... It made me wonder how a simple cup of coffee had the power to brighten someone's whole day; a stranger's whole day."

Elsa's eyes turned to the side. "So you kept them coming?"

Honeymaren nodded. "I did, and if we're being honest, I didn't know your name back then either."

"You didn't?" She released a breathy laugh.

"Nope, I hounded a freshman who had the same textbook. I asked him who the blonde was in room four."

Heat rose to Elsa's cheeks and she quickly turned back to her computer to hide them. "Well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't appreciate the coffee."

"-and I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy getting them for you."

Elsa's eyes returned as her blush still burned beneath her skin. She cleared her throat. Words caught against her tongue, sticking to the suddenly dry surface. This mystery woman had rendered her silent, and Elsa wasn't entirely certain why.

"So, for how long do you have your niece?" Honeymaren asked.

A sigh of relief escaped her lips. Elsa was more than grateful for the topic change.

"Until next Wednesday."

Smirking, Honeymaren stood. "First full weekend with a kid, huh? My suggestion- take her somewhere she can run around. Your Sunday morning self will thank you."

She was headed back to the door, but Elsa stopped her. "Can you recommend a place?" Her brows lifted.

Honeymaren spun back to her. she hummed, "A park- I don't know. I'm not sure."

Her foot tapped impatiently against the floor. Honeymaren was mulling something over subconsciously, the silent debate turning her eyes between white tiles.

"Listen," she finally said. "Meet me outside of the cafe at eleven tomorrow morning... I know somewhere close by we can take the kids."

"Okay," Elsa found herself responding before she'd considered the request. It surprised her. Rarely did she make decisions, even simple ones, without weighing the pros and cons.

"I'll see you tomorrow, then." Her back was to Elsa and the door was pulled shut.

Elsa sat there, blinking once, and then again.

She hoped that she hadn't made a mistake in taking her up on the offer. It was unclear if Honeymaren had any real desire to do so. The way she struggled with her words told tale of that much. Regardless, Elsa had committed to a Saturday playdate for Millie. Yet she didn't know if that was something her sister would approve of. Did she know Honeymaren from school? Did Anna even like her or her son?

_And bonus fault_; something clicked in her mind. The thought drew sudden tension to Elsa's shoulders.

She didn't have Honeymaren's number. Thus, there was no way she'd be getting out of it now.

This playdate was happening whether Elsa decided if it was a good idea or not.

* * *

_Cheers,_

_-M._


	5. Chapter 5

**_Cold Secrets_**

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Five**

* * *

_**"So, where exactly are you taking my daughter again?"**_

Anna didn't sound as angry as she did skeptical. Elsa, attempting to be the good aunt that she was, called her sister to let her know they would be leaving the house for the day. Unfortunately, she forgot the three hour time difference between there and California. Elsa couldn't imagine she would enjoy a wake up call explaining someone was taking her daughter out for coffee either.

"We are going to the coffee shop on campus…" she tried again. "Then, I'm not sure. I thought we'd go to the park, or perhaps the zoo- Whatever we decide, it will be fun!"

Anna hummed sleepily. "Taking me up on the offer to use Millie to sell yourself, I see?"

Elsa blinked. Her teeth grit. _Is that what I am doing here?_

"No, of course not." she promised to herself and Anna. "You suggested getting out of the house, and that's exactly what we are doing."

"Uh huh," Anna tutted. "I still think you're up to something, dear sister."

Rolling her eyes, Elsa crossed the street. She had Millie belted into the stroller, who was babbling to herself as they went. Elsa had her phone precariously perched between her shoulder and ear. She fumbled briefly getting back onto the sidewalk, and caught the phone in her hand.

"Listen, I was just trying to be nice and let you know we would be going out today. No more teasing me, alright?" She heard her sister laugh.

"Okay, okay, but only because it's early..."

Smiling, Elsa shook her head. "I will call back later and you can tell me all about your party."

"Mmhmm, sounds great. Love you…" Anna began to doze back off.

"We love you, too." Elsa giggled, and when no reply came, she hung up the phone. "That mom of yours is a silly one. That's for sure."

Millie looked up as her aunt's voice surfaced overhead. She clapped her hands together madly and swung her feet in the air.

"Yup, and you are _definitely_ her kid…"

Looking down at her watch, Elsa internally groaned. She was running behind, and it was at no ones fault but her own. Millie's dress had stained after breakfast. Berries discolored her face and hands. Elsa's own pants had taken a hit, and she was forced to change as well. Now they both were in dresses. They were the fastest outfits she could think to put on. The night before, Elsa had already spent hours over the limited items in her closet. She knew it would have been counterproductive to start that process back up again that morning.

For herself, Elsa had selected a tan khaki dress, and paired it with a black sweater. It was nearly the same as any outfit she would wear for school. However, she had selected her black flats in lieu of heels. Millie, on the other hand, that was where all Elsa's attention had gone. She was all dolled up in her yellow fall dress, with white lace bloomers underneath. The little hair she did have, was combed down and was laying flat.

And hair was, of course, the first thing Honeymaren noticed that morning. Although... it wasn't Millie's who had stolen the show.

She handed Elsa a coffee. "Someone finally decided to lose the bun."

"Excuse me?" Elsa's head turned before placing her cup in the holder.

"Your hair, goof. I've never seen it down before. I like it."

"Oh…" Elsa was blushing, but Honeymaren had turned her back.

She kicked at the locks on her own stroller before leading them away from the cafe.

"Are we all set?" she asked.

Elsa looked down at Millie who had yet to notice the newcomers. She had the diaper bag, keys, wallet, phone. Her head bobbed as she checked them over.

"Yes, I think we are..."

Honeymaren stepped ahead of them, leading the way for their walk. Her eyes circled back over her shoulder coyly, and she gave Elsa a quick once over. Honeymaren waited to smiled until her head was back facing front. Elsa wasn't sure what that look meant, but it had her feeling confused.

"Where are we going?" she hurried faster, joining her side by side.

"You really don't like surprises, do you?"

Elsa frowned. Her eyes lowered at the hair covering Honeymaren's cheek. "I thought this day was about Millie and Ryder?"

"-and a little bit for you..." Honeymaren smirked.

Needing a distraction, Elsa fumbled for the cup of coffee. She tasted it to her lips and smiled instantly. _Pumpkin spice, as always_. When Elsa pulled the cup away, she noticed Honeymaren staring intently at her face. She wore the same dark expression Elsa had caught on her just moments before.

"What?" Elsa lowered the cup, brushing nothings away from her clean face.

Honeymaren laughed. "I'm surprised you came, is all."

"Really, why is that?"

Her lips pursed, and Honeymaren shrugged. "You've got an uptight vibe about you; always with your hair in a bun, the professional clothes. Now you are here, looking like a human, and you don't even know where we are going..."

The confusion pulled from Elsa's face and replaced with something dejected. She told herself she didn't care what her coworkers or student's thought about her, but she knew that wasn't true. Sometimes Elsa believed she cared too much. She strived for perfection in every sense of the word. These last two days with Millie had been difficult; and all because she couldn't seem to get anything right. Perhaps that was why she agreed to go out with Honeymaren. Watching her parent Ryder would surely guide her aunty-skills along.

"I am glad you did, though." Honeymaren broke Elsa's thoughts.

"What?" She turned to her.

"I'm glad you decided to come. I didn't know if it was appropriate, or if you would even want to, but I'm happy that you agreed."

Smiling, Elsa faced forward and looked down at Millie. "Well, thank you for inviting us."

Millie was content in her stroller for the time being, it appeared. She had her juice cup, which she'd finished, and her plastic cell phone in hand. She babbled into the speaker. When no one replied, she wedged the phone into her mouth.

In his stroller, Ryder was much quieter. In fact, he was sound asleep. His backing was tilted downward, and his head held from the sun. He held a stuffed reindeer between his hands, which he drooled idly on its head.

"He usually sleeps through travel." Honeymaren explained, having followed Elsa's stare. "If it moves, he sleeps- cars, strollers, trains; you name it."

"The only time Millie sleeps is when it's time to get up in the morning. She is more miserable to wake than her mother." Elsa giggled softly.

"Hopefully she'll tire out for you today, and then both of you can get some rest."

Her brow arched to Honeymaren. "Are you insinuating I look tired?"

"I'm telling you, actually."

The two shared a laugh as they came to a crossing. Lights flashed over head, signifying the busy streetway. Elsa came to a stop, and her fingers clenched around the hand break.

"Will you tell me where we are going now?" She attempted to hide her nerves.

"We're not far." Honeymaren promised. "We cross here, and then follow Stonewall Circle to the end."

Elsa eyes lightened. "Are we going to the beach?"

"Maybe…" Honeymaren sang. She turned to flash Elsa yet another wink.

Elsa's fingers tapped against the handle. "You know, I've never been to a beach in Autumn before."

"It's a lot less crowded than it is during peak season, and that frees up some space for the younger kids. I couldn't stand taking Ryder here over the summer. I had one day, Ryder was about nine months old, barely walking, and this teenager knocked him out on the splash pad. There was blood everywhere. Ryder was a mess! No, I was the mess! That was the first time I realized cut lips look a lot worse than they actually are. The whole Emergency Room thought I was insane..."

Elsa stifled a laugh as they began to cross the street. "That sounds terrifying! I probably would have done the same thing."

"You get used to it," Honeymaren bat her off. "Besides, everything is scary in the beginning, but then you get more comfortable. I never wanted to be a parent... Now though, I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything in the world."

A brief smile tugged at Elsa's lips before falling away. She was slapped with a mixture of adoration and sadness. She couldn't quite put her finger on why. Elsa was enjoying hearing Honeymaren talk about her son and her experiences with parenting, but it also forced Elsa to acknowledge her own single, childless state.

As if she could read her mind, Honeymaren had silenced. The two said nothing as they started down the sidewalks of Stonewall. Despite the awkward feeling in the pit of her stomach, the views from the railing were enough to calm Elsa's anxious mind. Waves lapped at the rocky shore. A cool breeze trickled in off the water, and Elsa once again found herself enjoying their afternoon.

After a few minutes, she looked over to find Honeymaren walking with her eyes closed and head tilted back. Feeling the stare, her eyes quickly returned.

"Read any good books lately?" Elsa asked the first question that came to mind. She was already known for being a spy. It felt foolish to further prove Honeymaren's assumptions about her.

"A few, actually."

Elsa's eyes boggled. "You read more than one book at the same time?"

Honeymaren pulled out her phone. She thumbed around the display before turning it to Elsa. Confused, but curious, Elsa took the phone in her hand. Before her was a running list of novels; some of which she'd heard of, and others she wasn't certain were even written in English. The list went on and on for pages. Along the side, many items had been checked off.

"What is this?" She asked, returning the phone to Honeymaren.

"The Modern Library's Official Classic Lit record." she stated, matter of factly. "There are over two hundred books on it, and I am going to read them all."

Blinking, Elsa slowly turned her head. "Is there an award for after you complete it?"

"No," Honeymaren scoffed. "I just like books, remember?"

Honeymaren's shoulder teased her arm, and Elsa wondered how she could already be blushing again? "Well, I think finishing all of those books should come with an award."

She shrugged, uncaring. "You'll have to make it for me, then, because unfortunately those who care about Classic Lit are quickly dying out."

Honeymaren's eyes turned back to the walk.

Elsa pondered her silently for a moment. "If you finish that list, I will make certain you get an award."

She smirked, chuckling at Elsa. "Don't make promises you don't intend to keep, Snowflake."

"I wouldn't dream of it." Elsa promised.

A hand settled over her stomach. Deep down inside of her, her intestines uncomfortably clenched. Upon hearing the new nickname, Elsa was both excited and scared. It stirred something new inside of her, and Elsa was certain she wasn't ready for it just yet.

Their walk came to a halt at the start of a pier. Evading it, Honeymaren turned off the crosswalk and led them down a sandy path. The path bordered by mountain-like dunes. Elsa struggled to keep up as the sand built under the stroller's wheels. Millie let out a disgruntled huff while the seat rocked and rattled her around.

They didn't go much further than the end of the path. When the beach opened up to overlook the sound, Honeymaren came to a halt. She pulled off to the side and laid out a blanket. Elsa looked at her skeptically before deciding to join.

"Can I help you with anything?" she offered.

"Nope, take a seat."

Millie's hands latched onto the stroller bar and she whined out of desperation.

Elsa came to stand in front of her. Smiling, she lowered down to the seat. She freed Millie from the restraints, and Millie immediately crawled up into her arms. She bounced eagerly in Elsa's hold, excited to be in both her hands and out of the stroller.

Returning to the blanket, Elsa came to sit. Millie's eyes drew up at the stranger, and confusion struck her brain.

"Finally realized we weren't alone, hm?" Elsa's hand ran over the back of her niece's head.

Millie sat in her aunt's lap, content to play the newcomer by ear.

Honeymaren returned to Ryder, and pulled his sleeping body from the seat. His blue eyes popped wide. Brows, raised and tightened. His head relaxed cautiously against his mother's chest, and he held his small body close to her's.

Honeymaren came to sit beside Elsa and Millie. She relaxed back on her hands, looking out at the waves. Ryder didn't move. His eyes stayed strict on the two strangers. If either he or Millie recognized each other from school, they didn't show it. Instead, they continued to cling to the laps beneath them.

Elsa's lips pinched to the side. "Hello, Ryder... It's nice to meet you."

His brows wavered hearing the woman's melodic tone.

"You hear that, Ry? Elsa says, hello." Honeymaren placed her hand to her son's back.

Grinning, Elsa continued. "You are certainly a handsome little boy."

Upon hearing her words, Ryder quickly turned his head from the stranger. Honeymaren's hand stroked along his back. "I'm sorry about that. He can be shy when meeting people he doesn't know. I'm sure he'll warm up to you in no time."

"It's alright," Elsa assured her. "I have the benefit of having known Millie her whole life. And I'm not big on strangers either, so I know how he feels..."

Honeymaren leaned forward, keeping Ryder tucked against her chest. She pulled a cooler bag from the sand and dragged it onto the blanket beside them.

"This should help," she told her.

Honeymaren unlatched the bag and pulled out a small tin of goldfish. Instantly, both Millie and Ryder turned to watch what she was going. She set it between them. Their eyes followed. Giggling, Honeymaren opened the tin and watched both children scoot from their laps.

"I told you." she teased.

"You're a natural." Elsa commended.

"Goldfish and kids are like women and wine- neither can really exist without the other."

"I'll keep that in mind on the way home." Elsa giggled, her eyes scanning between the kids and Honeymaren. "I'm running out of those rice puffs Millie likes."

"Oh god!" Honeymaren mocked. "Not those! Have you seen how far they roll?"

"Yes!" Her laughter heightened. "I spent all of Thursday night on my hands and knees cleaning them off my kitchen floor!"

Honeymaren's palms raised at her side. "Welcome to parenthood." she announced.

Elsa held her smile until she couldn't anymore. She didn't want to correct Honeymaren, and remind her that she was Millie's aunt. Yet, her statement brought back the same feeling she'd had before. It was the subtle reminder that Elsa was not quite sure where her life was headed. If motherhood was in her future, it was further from sight than Elsa would hope for.

"At least you will be well-prepared when you have children of your own."

Elsa realized her eyes had drifted to the blanket. She pulled them back and softly smiled. "I suppose that's true…"

Honeymaren groaned. Her fingers pulled through her hair. "I said something dumb, I can see it. I struck a nerve. God, I'm sorry!"

"No, no," Elsa assured her. "I just have an awful habit of going too far into my own head."

Leaning forward again, Honeymaren pulled out another container from the bag. "Luckily, I have something I think you will enjoy, too."

She opened it and held it out Elsa. Looking inside, Elsa's curiosity peaked.

Instantly, her eyes drove wide. "M&Ms?" she questioned, confused, and Honeymaren nodded. "But they're my favorite..."

"I know," she teased Elsa with a grin. "You bring them with you when you grade sometimes."

The hand she'd used to reach forward suddenly froze. Elsa turned her gaze, staring at Honeymaren hard.

"And here you are telling me I'm the spy!" Elsa stole an M&M before crossing her arms in defiance.

"There's a difference though, Snowflake- I've never been caught while I'm spying."

Her excitement faded to confusion. Elsa shook her head. "Why do you keep calling me that?"

"What? Snowflake?" She watched Elsa nod. Honeymaren drew her shoulders into a shrug. "It's your skin. It reminds me of winter somehow."

"But not my hair?" Elsa found herself teasing. Her own response surprised her, and caused her heart to lurch beneath her ribs.

With a laugh, Honeymaren leaned into her briefly. "That too, Snowflake. That, too."

The rest of their afternoon passed with ease. The children eventually moved off goldfish and onto the sand. Honeymaren taught them how to build a sandcastle. Neither seemed to care, though. They had much more enjoyed knocking them down after they were built for them.

As they continued, short hours seemed to fly by. They ran through snacks and drinks, and Elsa polished off the M which receiving a world of teasing from Honeymaren.

When finally, their playdate was forced to come to an end.

"Unfortunately, it's about time I head out." Honeymaren explained as she began to pack up her things.

"Of course!" Elsa assured her. "I wouldn't want to monopolize your whole day."

"It's not that..." Honeymaren hummed silently. "We would stay here all night with you if we could, but it's Ryder... He's at his dad's tonight, which means we have to get going before we're late."

Elsa frowned, but wouldn't press for more. There was something off about Honeymaren now, and it was separate from her typical, 'hot cold' demeanor.

"No worries," Elsa assured her. "I'm thankful we got to spend the time together that we did."

Smirking to herself, Honeymaren turned to Elsa after zipping the cooler shut. "Speaking of spending time together…" Her eyes circled the sky. "What would you say if I asked you to go out with me on Friday night?"

"Friday night?" Elsa gawked. Her eyes turned wide faster than she could reel them in. "As in, with just you? As in, a date? Is that what you're insinuating?"

Honeymaren laughed. "Yes, Snowflake, as in a date."

Her hands began to fidget in her lap. Elsa's eyes drew down to her niece. "Why would you think to ask me that? Well…no, nevermind... I don't think so. But I do appreciate you asking me…"

"Okay." Honeymaren shrugged.

She stood with Ryder against her hip before sitting him in the stroller.

"You're not mad?" Elsa questioned. She pulled Millie to stand at her side.

Honeymaren shook her head. She snatched the blanket and the cooler from the sand and placed them both in the bottom basket.

"Nope, I'm not mad, and do you know why?"

Elsa merely blinked.

"-because the next time I ask you, you're going to say yes."

"Is that so?" Elsa took a cautious step backwards. "And why do you think that?"

With Ryder situated in his seat, and her things packed away, Honeymaren placed her hands on the stroller. "-because you want to, Snowflake."

She flashed her a quick wink, sending a chill down Elsa's spine.

Elsa watched her walking away. Her eyes glued to her back, and her heart beat erratically in her chest.

* * *

_Cheers,_

_-M. _


	6. Chapter 6

** _Cold Secrets_ **

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Six**

* * *

**Monday morning brought Autumn rain**. The fields that made up the university courtyard had flooded with murky water. Most of the campus was a muddy mess, and Elsa's stark-black heels now layered with the consequence.

As the weekend came to a close, a surprising burst of anxiety followed. Elsa and Millie enjoyed the rest of their Saturday, and the day that followed. Honeymaren had been right in saying they should get out of the house. A beach day was exactly what Millie needed to calm her food-throwing self. They spent their free time held up on the floor of her living room together. Elsa dragged out Millie's bag of blocks, and pulled some old puzzles out of storage. The two shared snacks in front of the TV. They snuggled during an afternoon nap, and spent the evenings reading board books by the fireplace. Surprisingly, Elsa felt it was the best weekend she'd had in a long while. It was both relaxing and exciting to have the free time to spend with her niece.

However, with the weekend ending; Elsa was reminded of the Monday to come. Her assumptions about Honeymaren had been correct. She did want to be her friend, and more than that; she wanted to go on a date with her. Things would be different between them now, seeing as Elsa had turned her down. Yet, what was stranger than Honeymaren's indifference, was the response she gave Elsa in reply. She was unbothered by the rejection, and merely because Honeymaren had believed it was all set up as a rouse.

_ But it's wasn't _, Elsa convinced herself.

Saying no to Honeymaren's was easier than agreeing to spend Saturday afternoon with her in the first place. _Surely_, Elsa assumed, that meant any relationship between them was definitely not meant to be...

Despite her certainty, though, a darker thought lingered.

If Elsa turning Honeymaren down a second time scared her off, their new friendship would be forced to end. There would be no more surprise coffees dates. Elsa would never learn who Ryder's father was, nor about the man she'd seen at the cafe on that one afternoon. All the questions she had would go unanswered. And worst of all, Elsa would lose her new friend before could even confidently call her that.

The uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach was as tortuous as Elsa's wet shoes. Both were numb and distracting, however, only one could be easily fixed.

Elsa's kicked her heels off beneath her desk. She laxed back into her chair. Hidden away in her office, Elsa was avoiding the library at all costs. To her benefit, at least her small workspace had a nice view of the city square. Even if it was storming, it was nice to crack the window and listen to the rain. At that moment, part of Elsa wondered why she'd been going to the library after all. Her office was nice; remote in its location.

She would have never found this type of comfort back down in the study rooms...

A sudden knock at her office door pulled Elsa from her thoughts. The sound reminded her _exactly_ _why_ she'd been hiding in the library for all these months. It was outside of her student hours, however, the college students were always lurking. It was as if they wanted to catch her off guard, and make certain she wasn't prepared for their questions.

_ "Can I have an extension on tomorrow's paper?" _

_"I didn't complete this assignment because x, y, and z..."_

Elsa had her pending-conversation planned before it had even begun. And so, with a sigh and a quick roll of her eyes, Elsa decidedly rose from her chair. Her hand went to the doorknob. She quickly pulled it open. Standing before her, though, the sight drove her eyes wide, and she felt herself begin to panic.

Elsa blinked, hoping to clear the shock. Her head tilted to the side.

With her mouth agape, she stammered. "You- you're here?" Elsa awkwardly questioned. "What are you doing at my office- in my office? What- what are you doing _here_?""

Laughing, Honeymaren stepped through the arch way. Elsa was caught spinning around to follow; her hand remaining fixed to the door. The first thing she noticed about Honeymaren was that her hair had been left down. For some reason she'd pulled her curls from its standard braid. Yet, the deep creases pressed into brown hair and the tie around her wrist, told tale that this appearance change was not made all that long ago.

"Relax, Snowflake. Looking up a directory is amature sleuthing skills. You should know this. You're on the school's website, afterall."

Elsa's mouth tipped to respond, but the words wouldn't come out. She lost to her senses completely. Was she blushing or angry? Why was she suddenly hot, and feeling as if she were coming undone?

"Take it easy, would you?" Honeymaren laughed with ease. "I'm not here to harrass you! I just came to bring you this..."

She reached into the side pocket of her bag, pulling out a coffee. She handed it out to Elsa who had frozen in place. Elsa willed herself to move, or say anything that came to mind. Nothing came out of her mouth. Though hesitantly, her hand had begun to reach out.

Elsa accepted the coffee and turned ridgid once more.

"I-I don't understand…" Her head tilted.

"Well, when you didn't come to the library, which, by the way, you always do on Monday afternoons; I figured you were up here hiding from me... and, would you look at that. Here you are! It looks as if I was right..."

Without an invitation, Honeymaren came to sit in the chair beside Elsa's desk. Crossing her legs, she leaned back into the cushion. Her eyes rose slowly, and she softly began to smile.

"Are you going to stand there looking panicked the whole time, or…" Honeymaren motioned to the other chair, but Elsa didn't move. "Is it really so hard for you to sit down and chat; enjoy your coffee, even?"

Shaking from her confusion, Elsa tentatively made her way across the office floor. Her eyes stayed on her hands which had clasped tight around her coffee. It wasn't that she was angered by Honeymaren's surprise visit. Infact, at that moment, she wasn't certain exactly what she was feeling... caught of guard, perhaps, but it was more than that...

"I wasn't hiding…" Elsa responded slowly.

She sat in her chair. Her legs buried beneath the desk. Rotating, she only slighting turned to Honeymaren, cautious to keep a fair distance between them.

Seeing this, she smirked. Honeymaren's eyes dragged from the base of the chair to the top of Elsa's bun. "You could have fooled me." She teased her.

Frowning, Elsa released a short breath. "Even if I was hiding from you, which I wasn't; I have good reason to- You put me on the spot! That wasn't very fair... and besides, I barely know you!"

"I think you know me better than most people around here, Snowflake."

Elsa raised her eyes and glared. "Please, don't call me that."

"What would you prefer I call you- Professor Aren, or is it Miss. Aren? I never know… what do the kids call you these days?" Honeymaren's lips pulled higher.

"Elsa is fine." She replied, shortly.

Honeymaren's feet kicked out in front of her. Toes touched the leg of Elsa's chair. She nudged her swiftly sideways, spinning Elsa so they were facing. Elsa had been forced out from beneath the comfort of her desk. The action both surprised her, and made Elsa mad. She was certain Honeymaren could see that in the evidently red color growing amongst her cheeks.

"Okay, so I asked you out on a date and you said no…" Honeymaren continued. "Is that really reason enough to be caught sulking in your office?"

Unable to fight it, a slight smile drew to lips. "Alright, no exaggerating now... I definitely wasn't sulking. Perhaps I'm a just a little... embarrassed, alright? It's not often I'm forced to turn people down..."

Honeymaren batted her off with a hand. "Come on, there will be none of that. Besides, I told you! I'm not going to ask you again until you're ready, and until that happens; we can just go back to the way things were before. Now, how does that sound to you? Pretty good, I hope."

Elsa's brows drew steadily higher before quickly lowering into a frown. "But don't you see how that might make me uncomfortable? I'm not entirely certain why you would want to continue asking me, especially considering I am fairly committed to my 'no'. In the end, you'd only be making this harder on yourself..."

She watched Elsa slide back beneath her desk. Her tan painted fingernails circled the brim of her cup before lifting it to her lips. She took a sip of her coffee, still carefully avoiding Honeymaren's gaze.

"You forget how long we have been doing this dance for, Elsa…" Honeymaren's brows tugged low. "I have been watching you for two long months now; just as you have been doing as well. I don't think it was disinterest that caused you to turn me down, though. I think it's something entirely different, you see?"

"Really now?" Elsa replied evenly, and with more amusement than anger in her tone.

"Yes…" Honeymaren sang slowly. "I believe it was fear that had you saying no to me. I think, for some reason, you stop yourself from getting too close. Even with your students; did you know, I have never seen you speaking with one for longer than it takes to answer a single question... You are so quick to push them and others, aside. You've built up this brick wall around you, Elsa. Sure, it's part of your charm, and part of what had me feeling intrigued in the first place... but now I am wondering... What will it take for you to release it? What will it take for you to start letting people in? Not everyone here is bad, Elsa, and I think you are starting to see that."

Never before had Elsa heard someone speak so plainly to her before. Yet, here Honeymaren sat with no reservations. There was no fear in the execution of her words. She said what she had without worrying she might be overstepping Elsa's boundaries, or perhaps upsetting her in some way. No, Honeymaren was free flowing with both her thoughts and lips, and that was something Elsa would never understand.

"I don't say this to be rude, of course." Honeymaren continued. "It's just something I had noticed. If you didn't know, I have noticed lots of things about you, Elsa, and most of them... I quite enjoy."

Throat suddenly dry, she cleared it. Heat spread across the fair skin of Elsa's cheeks. To be noticed was one thing, but to be watched and scrutinized was entirely another.

"Anyway…" Honeymaren stood. "I came here to bring you the coffee and this..." She reached into the pocket of her black work slacks and pulled out a slip of paper. Setting it on the corner of Elsa's desk, Honeymaren began backing toward the door.

"I think I have put you through enough humiliation for one day." She teased Elsa with a laugh. "I'll leave you alone now, and I'll talk to you again soon; but only when you are ready."

"T-thank you for the coffee..." Elsa fought quickly for words.

Honeymaren flashed her a wink as she slipped through the door. "Anytime, Snowflake. Anytime…"

Once she had gone, Elsa's head fell forward. She emitted a tiny groan.

Honeymaren had been right about one thing, though- this dance they were doing; it was tainted by fear.

* * *

_ "I'm home! I'm home! I'm home!" _

Elsa heard her singing as the front door was thrown open. Shoes were kicked off. A jacket and perhaps a bag, dropped onto the floor. Feet then echoed across the kitchen, hurried in their approach.

It was Wednesday evening, and both Elsa and Millie were seated on the carpet in her living room. They were patiently awaiting Anna's return. Upon hearing her, Elsa had turned Millie between her legs. She faced her towards the doorway and watched Millie's face light up as Anna bolted into the room.

"My girls!" Anna beamed.

She fell forward onto her knees. Her arms wrapped tight around them, and her face buried into Elsa's hair.

"I missed you both so much!"

"We missed you, too." Elsa held Millie out to her. She smiled as Anna squeezed her daughter in a tight hold.

"Mommy's never going away ever again! I promise! Please don't hate me. This was absolute torture!" She pressed warm lips against Millie's head.

The excitement then faded, though. When Millie was released, she padded over to her toys. As she sat, her back was turned toward Anna, and her attention fixed to the blocks in front of her.

"Oh, I see how it is!" Anna crossed her arms. "I left you, and so now I am getting the silent treatment!"

Millie turned around. She looked up to her aunt, holding out a block. "This!" she shouted, and Millie handed it to her.

Elsa was more than happy to accept it. "Well, it does certainly appear that way…" She teased.

"Oh no! How long do you think she'll make me suffer for? She has to forgive me sometime soon, right?" Anna slid in beside her sister. Her head fell to Elsa's shoulder and she released a long sigh.

"I don't know, Anna…" Elsa hummed. "For long did you give mother the silent treatment after she took your cell phone away during your freshman year?"

Dropping her jaw, Anna faced her sister with a pout. "That was different!" she defended. "Mama was being unreasonable, and you wouldn't even take my side!"

"I knew better than to get involved when you two went at it…" Elsa laughed. Anna's head replaced against her shoulder.

"You always have been more like father in that way…" she mused. "Always quiet and insightful… like them, the two of us make quite a pair, you know?"

Elsa hummed softly. Her fingers combed softly through Anna's loose hair. Millie was content at that moment to ignore them both. With her toys scattered in front of her, she babbled to herself as she eagerly kicked blocks further across the floor.

"So, how did it go?" Anna asked. "What were you both up to while I was away?"

"Not much…" Elsa's hand fell. As she straightened, Anna turned to her. "We went to the beach over the weekend, but other than that; we've been hanging low,-eating snacks, reading books..."

"The beach?" Anna's eyes widened and her lips slightly curled. "What made you do that?"

Shrugging, Elsa's gaze drifted to the sidewall. "Oh, I don't know… I thought it might be a fun way to spend the day together. It was warm, and we had a little picnic."

"A picnic, huh? Well, that does sound fun!"

Hearing her mother's pitch change, Millie looked up from her toys. She rose unsteadily to her feet before coming to lean against Anna's arm.

"It appears as if Millie's resentment was very short lived." Elsa joked.

She watched Millie tug her hands into her mother's hair. Curiosity filled her tiny face as she leaned forward and kissed her.

"I'm sad I missed it…" Anna continued, a hint of deflection detected in her voice. "I love spending time with both my sister, and my baby..."

"We can take her to the beach together sometime?" Elsa suggested. "I think she'd liked it, and besides; Millie is still a little too young to remember the outings she took with her aunt while mom and dad were away."

Giggling, Anna shook her head. "Don't you worry about that. I will always remind Millie of all the special things that her aunt does for her!"

Elsa couldn't help but smile. Loving her niece was easy; as simple as it was to love Anna. Upon seeing her expression, Millie waddled over to her aunt. Her chubby hands grabbed at Elsa's cheeks, and she squeezed them with a grin.

"Millie loves her aunt..." Anna cooed. "Don't you, baby girl? Your Auntie Elsa makes it so easy to love her sometimes… her biggest flaw, though; she has to start letting more people in, so they can learn to love her, too."

Elsa's head snapped quickly to Anna. Her face tugged from Millie's hands, but the toddler didn't appear to mind.

"What makes you say that?" Elsa frowned. Her expression blended between fear and a look that screamed of confusion.

"I am always saying that!" Anna teased. She leaned her shoulder into Elsa's arm. "It's no secret that you're a little reserved, dear sister. But hey, I didn't mean anything by it! We still love you! We just want you to start letting more people in..."

Elsa's expression maintained as she turned to the floor. Her lip tucked under her teeth, and she felt Millie walking away.

"Would you mind if I went and changed quick?" she asked Anna, her attention only partially returned. "I was waiting for you to get back first. I'll only be a minute..."

"Of course…" Now Anna was frowning. "Hey wait, did I upset you or something? You know I didn't mean to... I'm always saying things wrong!"

Elsa stood, feigning a believable grin. "No, no. You didn't upset me, I promise... I want to get out of these work clothes and into something more comfortable. There's still dinner out on the stove if you're hungry?"

She crossed to her bedroom, shutting the door quickly behind her. With a deep breath, Elsa forcefully kicked off her shoes. Her hands dragged through her hair and she fought a groan.

Elsa was tired of being scrutinized by the people she cared about. She was fed up with their assumptions, and their unbridled prying. Couldn't they tell she was happy exactly where she was in life? She didn't need to get closer to anyone. She was perfectly content with the way things were.

But that wasn't entirely true... and Elsa somehow knew it. In fact, it was that thought which caused her to hide here in her room.

Since being confronted by Honeymaren two days ago, she'd thought of nothing but letting her in. She liked her new friend. She liked spending time with her, and though the thought of 'something more' terrified her; Elsa couldn't lie. Being something more with Honeymaren... the thought sort of thrilled her, too.

Over the span of the last two months, she'd enjoyed getting to know her new friend. It wasn't her that Elsa was afraid of- it was the fear for what Honeymaren would come to learn about Elsa, herself.

It was easy to like someone when you didn't know them. It was simple to see yourself together when you didn't know all of their flaws. However, both Anna and Honeymaren had been right in saying one thing- Elsa was reserved. She had closed herself off to the world, and she was tired of being ridiculed for it.

With a stomp, Elsa moved beside her bed. She unzipped the front pocket on her backpack and withdrew the note Honeymaren had given her two days before.

Sitting against her bed, Elsa decided to read it again,

_ "Here's my number for when you are ready... May it act as a reminder to start letting people in." _

The note had her frown deepening. Both Honeymaren, and now her sister, were successful in getting under her skin. They had made it so Elsa was unable to ignore the ache they'd placed in her chest any longer.

And so, defeated, Elsa pulled her cell phone from her pants.

She blinked anxiously at the screen. Her fingers flexed around the phone case. Elsa willed herself to do what she knew she must, and ignore the threat of any consequence.

_"It's Elsa."_ Her fingers started slowly. _"Are you still available on Friday Night?"_

* * *

_ Cheers, _

_ -M. _


	7. Chapter 7

** _Cold Secrets_ **

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

* * *

**Elsa felt her heart beating everywhere, except for in her chest.** Even as she checked over her appearance for the tenth time that evening, there it was; aching against the lining in her throat. She knew anxiety was a liar. Without it, she would have been certain she looked better than she thought. Yet, her mind continued to lie to her, and so Elsa found herself changing her outfit once again.

She'd been through nearly every skirt in her closet. That included both the long, and the incredibly short ones Anna had forced her to buy. There were t-shirts, blouses, and dresses strewn around her room. Her make up scattered the vanity. Shoes lay unattended outside of storage, and the mess only added to Elsa's concerns.

Her problem? She'd never purchased clothes for a date before. In fact, the last time she dated someone, Elsa hadn't seen it coming. She missed the whole panicked and uncomfortable transitional period from dating, into togetherness.

But this was a date; a real one, and it was with Honeymaren...

What would she expect Elsa to wear? What would she wear herself? Elsa wanted to call Anna, but the thought only furthered her anxiety. Sharing Honeymaren's connection to Millie's daycare might upset Anna, or worse; she might be thrilled by the idea, and therefore even more upset when it came time for them to break up.

Elsa was forced to do it on her own. Standing in nothing but underwear, only her hair and makeup had been finished. She had to pick something to wear, and Elsa found herself looking at the floor again. Hidden beneath her bed was the tight black dress she'd kicked off three times prior.

She was reconsidering it again a fourth time as her phone dinged in reminder. Elsa hurried to her desk. She clicked on the screen and frowned.

It was Honeymaren. _"Outside and waiting- should I come up?"_

Elsa quickly scrambled to reply. _"No."_ She sent, and paused. "_I will be down in a minute..."_ Elsa reiterated.

With a huff, her fingers dragged through her hair. She was already messing this up. Her heart was racing, her mind filled with fog, and she still wasn't wearing any clothes.

Thinking quickly, Elsa decided on the black dress. She stepped into the fabric, not wasting any time, and pulled it over her head. She turned to the mirror in a final attempt to convince herself she looked okay. Sighing, Elsa shook her head. She grabbed her purse from the bed, believing she looked better suited for a funeral, than she did a first date.

When Elsa stepped out onto the sidewalk, she was greeted by the cool Autumn evening. The light breeze, however, did little to soothe her stress. Seeing the barren sidewalk had her feeling more anxious, and now, she considered, this had been a bad idea after all.

A horn honked from across the street. Elsa looked up and her eyes went wide. Honeymaren was waiting for her, leaning up against the driver's side of her car. She was smiling, but not enough to frighten her. The attempt was to appear relaxed, or perhaps it was to calm the nerves she knew Elsa would have.

Despite her trying, Elsa still scrambled down the steps to meet her. The awkwardness of the situation only had her feeling more out of place.

"Wow," Honeymaren gave a low whistle. "If I had known you owned that dress… I would have asked you out way sooner."

Blushing, Elsa slowed her approach. Her eyes held at the ground as she met Honeymaren in front of the car. Elsa couldn't bring herself to look up from her feet. The sight of brown heeled boots had her vision momentarily stunned. Elsa blinked, feeling her shoulders tense. Drawing up from the boots, Honeymaren wore tight blue jeans. Her flowing white shirt sat off her shoulders, and the exposed tan skin had Elsa's eyes freezing upon the woman's face.

She frowned. Elsa's head tilted sideways. "You cut your hair?"

"-just the bangs," Honeymaren shrugged. "Why, does it look bad?"

She was smirking, but Elsa still contemplated her words with care. "No, no, I- I think they really suit you."

"Thanks," she beamed. "-and as I said, I think that dress really suits you, too."

Elsa's eyes found Honeymaren's for the first time. "You really think so? I wasn't sure about it…"

"Trust me when I tell you, you look perfect."

Her attention slowly drifted down the tight black fabric. From there, it settled on Elsa's bare thighs and nude high heels. Honeymaren forced herself to take a step back.

"Come on," she said sharply. "Hop in and we can get going. I need to make a few stops before we get to our date."

She came to stand by the passenger door and held it open to her. Elsa followed, eyeing Honeymaren suspiciously.

"I'm assuming you won't tell me where we are going?" Her brows lowered nervously at the thought.

"Your assumption would be correct, Snowflake, but I can promise; you are safe with me."

Honeymaren pulled the door wider in invitation. With a deep breath, Elsa didn't give herself another moment to think about it. She slipped inside and Honeymaren closed the door behind her. When she returned to her own seat, she noticed Elsa checking the restraint on her belt.

Feeling the eyes on her, Elsa looked up. "Is this, um, your car?" She smiled without teeth.

A playful smirk drew to Honeymaren's lips. "It is now."

She put the car in drive and quickly pulled away from the cub. The engine vibrated beneath Elsa's feet. The sensation caused her eyes to widen, and her hand to grip the door.

"What kind of car is this?"

"This?" Honeymaren grinned. "This is a sixties Mercury Comet. Pretty sexy, dontcha think?"

Elsa smiled at the pitch change in the woman's voice. "Really? It's in such great shape."

"As she should be… after all the time and money that went into restoring her…" Honeymaren's hands tightened against the wheel, and she shook her head.

"You don't race it, then?"

Wide eyes briefly snapped to Elsa. "God, no! Never! I'd lose my mind if anything happened to this car."

Elsa felt her muscles release. She relaxed back into the seat and her legs kicked out in front of her. "It's really a pretty car. You did a good job."

"Thanks…" Honeymaren hummed softly. "-but it's really my little brother who deserves the praise."

There was something off-putting about her comment, but Elsa lost her opportunity to respond. They were stopping on the side of the road, not long after leaving Elsa's apartment. Honeymaren put the car in park. She stepped out onto the sidewalk before leaning back through the open window.

"Give me one minute. I won't be long." Her hand tapped against the door frame and she walked away.

Elsa watched her go. Only after Honeymaren disappeared inside the unmarked building, did Elsa pull down her sunshade. Quickly, she glanced over her appearance in the mirror. Her darker-than-usual makeup was still intact, but her skin was flushed. Subconsciously, she hoped Honeymaren would mistake her red tinge for blush.

Movement caught her eye when Honeymaren returned. Elsa hurried to close the mirror, but the smirk she caught as Honeymaren sat proved she had been caught.

"Here," she greeted, handing Elsa a brown paper bag.

Honeymaren slipped on her belt, watching carefully as Elsa fingered the bag's opening.

"No!" she scolded. Her hand crunched down over Elsa's. "No peeking…"

Taking the hint, she set the bag down at her feet. "Where did you go?" Elsa asked.

"Patience, Snowflake…" Honeymaren teased with a roll of her eyes. "It's called patience- find some."

"I really wish you'd stop calling me that…" Humming, Elsa turned her head toward the window and frowned.

"I'll tell you what. I will lose the nickname if… you can guess where we are going?"

Elsa scoffed. Her toes flexed inside her heels. "That hardly seems fair! You've told me next to nothing about this evening."

Shrugging, a grin pulled to Honeymaren's cheeks. "Snowflake it is, then."

Try as she might to fight it, Elsa smiled. A tiny giggle fought passed her lips.

"Well, laughing is a good sign. I'm off the hook now, aren't I?"

Rolling her eyes, Elsa's expression tightened into smirk. "I wouldn't be too certain of that..."

There was something easy, something calm about their conversations. The atmosphere in the car was unusually pleasant. Aside from her sister, Elsa had never experienced this sort of contentment with another person before. It made enjoying the drive to their date effortless, and that was something she had not anticipated.

"You know, I am happy you decided to come and everything... but I thought you should know; I lost money on a bet because of this date." Honeymaren's eyes stayed strict on the road as she spoke.

However, Elsa could see from her profile that she was teasing her. "With whom- and please don't say anyone's name from the university!"

"Relax…" Honeymaren soothed with a slight giggle. "We'll keep date one on the downlow. The bet was with my mother. She's not going to say anything to anyone, but I do owe her forty bucks now because you decided to go out with me... so she's feeling pretty thrilled with herself."

That surprised Elsa. Her brows lowered and her head tilted to the side. "You bet against me coming?"

Her skin felt suddenly hot. Red coloring tinged her cheeks and an ache of discomfort coursed through her chest. She couldn't help but wonder if Honeymaren asked her out because she believed Elsa never would have agreed in the first place.

"No… the bet was not 'if' you would come, but 'when'... I figured you'd spend this weekend alone sulking, and then text me back by Monday." Her eyes flashed to Elsa's. "I guess we can say, you surprised me, Miss. Aren."

Elsa laughed with ease. Her embarrassment settled immediately. "Well, with no intentions of insulting you- I think I surprised us both... It appears your mother has more faith in me than either of us do."

"Oh, don't let her fool you! Half of her wagger was put down on the promise that I'd ask you out again if you hadn't replied in two weeks. She is just happy to see me taking up an interest in something other than Ryder and old books."

Elsa shifted to see Honeymaren better. "That's not exactly a bad combo, you know?"

"I agree," She nodded. "But I'll admit, I've been a bit of a homebody lately. Ever since Ryder came in the picture I haven't gone on many social outings, and I think it's driving my mother insane!"

"So, you and Ryder live with your mom?" The corner of her lips turned upward. "Are you both close?"

Honeymaren scoffed, tapping her finger against the wheel. "You could say that… we definitely have our moments, but she means well. After I left Ryder's father and found out I was pregnant, she demanded I leave my apartment to live with her instead. It's okay, though. My mom has a little craftsmen style house in the suburbs, and Ryder and I have a little in-law unit to ourselves. It's nice, private, and it keeps mom off my back about all of Ryder's toys. Which is ridiculous because she's the one who buys them all!"

Elsa faced forward and her hands tucked into her lap. "You left Ryder's father before you found out you were pregnant?"

"Yup," Honeymaren responded plainly.

"Will you tell me about it?" Elsa asked, feeling her cheeks burning beneath a pink hue.

She was pulling the car over once again. This time, they were nearing the outskirts of the city. Honeymaren removed her seatbelt and turned to Elsa.

"Not tonight, Snowflake." She shook her head before standing. "Wait here. Last stop, I promise."

Her tone softly shifted as she walked away. Elsa watched her go, feeling perplexed. She caught sight of the long sigh as Honeymaren pushed her hair behind her ears. She disappeared down a dark alleyway. Elsa was caught between wanting to know more about her; and being simply curious as to what these many stops were all about?

Luckily, Elsa wasn't left to dwell for long. Honeymaren reappeared in a flash, and this time there was no mistaking what was in the bag she carried.

As soon as the door opened, the scent of olive oil and fresh bread permeated the tiny cabin. Elsa's mouth began to water. She accepted the bag as it was handed to her, and tried to hide her grin with a tiny sigh.

"Good, I was hoping there'd be food on this date." She blushed. "I'm honestly… starving."

"What's a date without food?" Honeymaren laughed as she sat. "And why are you starving? I gave you plenty of time after work to do whatever it was you needed to do."

Her cheeks darkened. "I guess it was the nerves…" Elsa answered truthfully, and she was grateful for Honeymaren's lack of questioning.

Instead, she pulled back out onto the road, the engine still roaring against their feet.

"It won't be long now..." Honeymaren promised. "You'll be able to eat soon."

Hearing of their short arrival time had Elsa's skin crawling. Taking a drive with Honeymaren was one thing, but being in a legitimate date situation… Elsa's throat turned dry. She didn't know date edicate. What were they supposed to talk about? She'd clearly messed up in that department a few times before, as is. If only she knew where they were going, she could mentally prepare herself for what was coming next.

Unfortunately, she didn't, and that had her thoughts traveling down a long and winding spiral.

"Alright…"

Elsa's eyes snapped to Honeymaren. She blinked.

"We're here, silly..." Her brown eyes curled in time with her lips. "Hop out, I'm going to need your help."

"My help?" Elsa mused. Her eyes turned away from her as she undid her belt.

They had stopped somewhere outside of the city limits, it appeared. They were in a nearly barren parking lot across the street from a row of old stone buildings. It was very New England, and reminded Elsa a little of where she grew up.

Honeymaren was busy replacing the food into her backpack. "Can you carry that other bag there for me? Just, promise you won't look inside…"

Smirking, Elsa nodded. "Of course."

She picked up the bag at her feet and stepped from the car. Honeymaren met at Elsa's side. She smiled softly.

"You ready?" She asked.

Elsa's nose scrunched. "It doesn't appear I have much of a choice…"

Honeymaren laughed, shaking her head. "I'll take what I can get."

She began by leading Elsa across the street. Seeing Honeymaren with her overstuffed backpack only had Elsa feeling more nervous. Whatever they were doing, she had obviously gone through a lot of trouble to prepare. Elsa honestly wasn't sure she was worth the effort.

They reached the edge of the sidewalk in the small downtown area. Elsa had barely taken in the tiny shops and dimly-lit restaurants before Honeymaren had them cutting between buildings. Darkness crept in as they descended down the alley. They were coming towards a series of larger venues when Honeymaren stopped short.

"Have you been here before?" She asked Elsa.

Elsa shook her head. "I don't think so. I haven't spent much time east of the city. I grew up on the other side of the state and only moved here to be closer to the school."

"Good," Honeymaren winked. "This will be fun, then."

She moved to the side, revealing the door Elsa hadn't realized was beside them. Honeymaren knocked. Her fist echoed across the thick metal surface. It looked like a lot like a service door, Elsa assumed. It was wide and dinged up, and not at all like the front entrance to any normal date location.

They were forced to wait until a young man in all black appeared in front of them.

"Maren…" The man greeted smoothly. "You're cutting it close, you know?"

She slapped a bill into his hand. "What do you care?"

He shrugged. "You're right. I don't."

Elsa saw the barest hint of a smile grace the man's lips before he turned from the door. He led them down a stark white hall, which sat entirely empty.

"Where are we?" Elsa whispered to Honeymaren.

"You mean she doesn't know?" The man interrupted before Honeymaren could reply. "Man, that's gunna be good."

His response only fueled Elsa's discomfort. Yet, she said nothing, following both him and Honeymaren down to a second doorway. His fingers worked into a keypad. The door clicked, and the man held it open to them.

"You know where you're going?" He asked.

"All the way up." Honeymaren slipped beneath his arm.

Behind pursed lips and grit teeth, Elsa tried to smile at him. She hurried after Honeymaren, sliding as close to the door frame as she could manage. Seeing her discomfort, the man chuckled.

"Alright, Maren. Well, you two have fun. Behave!" He scolded with more humor than sternness in his tone.

"Night, Blaine." Honeymaren grinned, and the door quickly closed behind them.

Looking up, Elsa watched a set of stairs spiral out of the ground and up over their heads. They appeared to go on for stories. Elsa grew more confused. Honeymaren, however, didn't wait for her to collect her thoughts. She started up the steps, forcing Elsa to follow.

"What's this all about?" Elsa nervously whispered. "Who was that guy?"

Honeymaren heard her footsteps coming up quickly behind her. Elsa came in at her side with a sharp frown. "That was Blaine. He works here."

"Yes, but where is _here_?" Her voice wavered with uncertainty, but Honeymaren was ignoring her once again.

They continued up the stairs, climbing higher and higher. At two stories, Elsa looked up and realized they still had more than half way to go.

"You didn't bring me here in the hopes of killing me and having somewhere to hide my body, did you?" She meant it as a joke, yet by its appearance; Elsa believed this was exactly the kind of place someone could get that done.

"What would I do that for? You're much too pretty to kill." She caught Elsa's eyes briefly before turning back to the walk.

When they finally reached the top, Elsa released a breath. Looking down, they'd hiked up around five stories. What building in this area could possibly have this many floors?

"I promise this will be worth it." Honeymaren opened a final door, leading Elsa into a dimly lit storage room.

She gasped. There were boxes stacked in every corner. It was chilly, and not all what Elsa expected. Honeymaren slid past her, crossing the dark room. Elsa's heart stayed in her throat as she slowly followed her.

However, her discomfort did not last long. Her heart was still aching, but for an entirely different reason. The room opened up into a wide, curved alcove of sorts. Large squares cut from the drywall and were hung with heavy metal stage lights. Then beneath them, the ground turned to grating. It was a catwalk, Elsa recognized instantly. She was hidden in the service platform above some sort of venue or theatre.

"It's an orchestra hall." Came Honeymaren's whisper, and from closer to her ear than Elsa expected.

As if on queue, the chorus of a dozen or more strings sang to life below them. The grate began to rattle. The tickle in her feet had her looking down. When her eyes returned, though, Honeymaren's face had leaned in closer towards her own. Elsa stifled in a breath and her eyes went wide.

"Come on," Honeymaren smirked. "You haven't seen the best part yet."

The orchestra was loud, yet not so much that they couldn't hear each other. Elsa assumed the acoustics were quite different down in the audience, but she didn't mind. There was something thrilling about being hidden away from the other people. She felt kind of empowered in a sense. Yet, she wouldn't say that aloud to Honeymaren. She might think she was crazy.

The narrow alcove led them around the turn of the theatre and toward a center row of suspended lights. They hung over a rectangular outlook, and Elsa moved to peer over the edge. Below her were the front row seats. Doll-sized humans in her eyes, were seated in full-back red chairs. They were dressed in their best going-out clothes, with their full-attention held at the stage. And the stage- it was directly across from where Elsa stood watching. Dozens of musicians sat before their instruments, and Elsa could see every single one of them.

Pulling from her distraction, Elsa turned to find Honeymaren. Her brows lowered a fraction when she realized her date was gone.

"Up here, Snowflake."

Elsa's eyes lifted. Her lips flattened, tugging into a smirk. Above the catwalk, Honeymaren had scaled a short ladder and climbed into a tiny loft. Her legs were dangling above the grating as she leaned over the safety rail. Her brown curls caught in the reflection of the blue lights, and Elsa couldn't help but stare.

"The view's better up here." She nodded her head, and motioned for Elsa to join.

Shaking from the daze, she started for the ladder. With the brown bag in one hand, Elsa fumbled between bars. She crawled up into the loft and held her skirt in place against her thighs. As she sat beside Honeymaren, she smoothed back down the fabric. Turning to her, Elsa was not at all surprised, for once, to discover Honeymaren was watching her.

"Glad you could join me." Her brow arched.

She handed Elsa a bottle of water, which she gratefully accepted.

"This is amazing." Elsa whispered while looking down.

Honeymaren had been right- the view of the stage was better from the loft.

"How did you find out about this?"

When Elsa's attention returned, Honeymaren was leaned over and opening the takeout containers between them.

"That kid Blaine, the one that let us in." She dropped her legs back over the side of the loft. "His parents own this place."

"How did you meet him... Blaine?"

Something dark flickered in Honeymaren's eyes. It caused her to drop her gaze toward the performance as she took a sip from her bottle. "HIgh school," She said simply, but Elsa had an inkling that wasn't the whole truth.

Not wanting to spoil things further, Elsa decidedly dropped it. "So... what's for dinner, then?"

Honeymaren laughed. Her light returned. "Ah yes, she's starving! How could I forget?" She mocked Elsa playfully before handing her a plate. "You've got bruschetta, fresh bread, cheeses, meats, and fruit. And over here, salad; because I figured, why not."

"Appetizer nights are my favorite." Elsa bit her lip, wondering why sitting here with Honeymaren had her suddenly feeling warm. "You must have read my mind..."

Honeymaren smiled, watching Elsa go for the bruschetta and forgoing the plate entirely. "Then you'll be happy to know, we are a perfect match. I'm a tapas girl, myself. Small plates, lots of things to try, what could be better?"

"I have to agree. I love tapas, too. Spanish food is up there on my list of favorites."

"I'll have to add that to my list of 'reasons I'm interested in you', then."

Unable to keep her blush from taking over, Elsa hid behind an open hand as she chewed. Her eyes wavered back to the stage, and she wondered why it was so hard to talk to Honeymaren in this way? She'd never been great at flirting. Elsa couldn't help but feel anxious while being flirted with, yet with Honeymaren; she wanted to dish it back. It was difficult to understand why, but Elsa wanted to feel she belonged here. She wanted the confidence other people, like Honeymaren, had while they were on a first date.

Slowly, she swallowed, allowing time for her heart rate to calm. When it did, Elsa grit her teeth. She was ready to find that confidence.

"Why are you interested?" She asked, fighting hard to hold her stare.

"In you?"

Elsa nodded. "It's just, I'm not exactly what people would call 'approachable'..."

Honeymaren set down her plate and moved back onto her hands. "You're attractive," She shrugged.

Elsa felt her jaw tip. "You only asked me here tonight because you find me attractive?"

In an instant, Elsa suddenly felt angry. Feeling she must have misjudged Honeymaren completely, her brow lowered into a deep frown.

"No... you asked my why I was interested; not why I brought you here. That would have been a different answer entirely." She snatched a piece of cheese between her fingers and plopped it into her mouth.

"Okay, then why did you bring me here?" Elsa's tone was short.

"Well..." She stifled a breath. "-because you save red Skittles for last because they're your favorite, and because you do this funny thing where you check the study room twice before leaving. You're smart, a little soft-spoken, fun to talk to, and I guess... I don't know... I find you... interesting."

She shrugged again, and Honeymaren returned to her food.

Elsa's eyes stayed on her for a brief moment longer. "Thank you, Honeymaren... for bringing me here."

Both women then turned their attention back to the show.

* * *

Time was moving slowly as they sat up in the loft. Elsa wasn't certain if it was her nerves or the music that caused it. Despite the calming effect the orchestra should have had on her, Elsa remained on edge. Honeymaren kept stealing glances at her. She was fighting her own eyes not to do the same. It was difficult being in her mid-twenties with very little dating experience. Elsa felt certain she was doing everything wrong, yet Honeymaren made her feel as if she were doing things right.

"Still hungry?" Honeymaren asked when she saw Elsa put her plate down.

Elsa shook her head. "No, not in the slightest."

"Good, I did my job, then." Honeymaren slid the containers back into her bag.

When she returned, she eyed the spot where she had previously sat. She and Elsa had the barrier separating their legs, and the food had maintained a cautious distance between them. Well, one of those things was no longer an obstacle.

Feeling cheeky, she came to sit closer to Elsa this time. Honeymaren straddled the bar and relaxed her arms on either side of the gate. With her head resting against the top rail, she slowly turned to Elsa. Honeymaren wasn't touching her, yet with their legs as close as they were; she could feel the heat radiating off her bare thigh. She might not have been touching Elsa, but Honeymaren knew she wanted to.

"So... it's my turn to ask you a question now." Honeymaren sang slowly. Her eyes moved in against Elsa's. "Why did you change your mind about coming out with me tonight?"

Biting her lip, Elsa shrugged. "That's a complicated answer."

"Try it on me anyway." Honeymaren pulled her attention back to the stage, giving her space.

"It's hard... only because I don't want to come off as insulting." She could see Honeymaren rolling her eyes in response. "Okay, fine! Well, for starters, I said yes because what you said really got under my skin."

Honeymaren snorted. "Right, but you're not here because you wanted to be, though?"

"I didn't say that..." Elsa hummed. "Yes I wanted to, I just- I have difficulties opening up to people. I don't go out on dates, as I'm sure you've noticed. I'm not certain what I'm supposed to wear, or do, or talk about-"

"I told you, that dress looks fantastic on you."

Though she hadn't turned back to her yet, Elsa could see Honeymaren smirking. "I- I know, and thank you for that." Her hand scratched through her hair and she sighed. "-but that doesn't fix the rest of it. This isn't something I'm used to. I'm not very good at it, I know... I guess I agreed because I was worried I'd miss out on something nice while I was stuck inside being me."

Honeymaren nodded slowly. Tentatively, her hand reached out a came to rest over Elsa's bare knee. "I understand," Honeymaren felt her shiver beneath her touch. "-and you need to stop being so hard on yourself! You're doing fine, Elsa. It's just a date. You know, you can relax around me..."

The two women shared a brief smile before the sound of applause drove them apart.

"It's over?" Elsa asked. Her brows pulled up to her hairline.

Honeymaren shook her head. "Intermission probably, let me check."

Leaning back, she rolled onto her side. She stretched forward, reaching for her backpack. Elsa's eyes traveled to the exposed skin of Honeymaren's backside where her shirt had ridden up. Embarrassed by the idea of being caught looking, Elsa quickly looked away.

When Honeymaren returned, she had her cellphone in hand. She was frowning at the screen. Her lips parted slightly and her teeth grit, hard.

"Intermission..." She mechanically spoke before slipping through the bars. "Could you give me a second, please?"

Elsa hadn't the chance to respond before Honeymaren walked away. She could tell there was a slight stomp to her walk. Something had evidently upset her when she looked at her phone. Honeymaren had the speaker to her ear before she rounded the corner, and Elsa couldn't help but stare after her.

When she disappeared, Elsa tried to distract herself from her thoughts with mindless people watching. The few musicians she could see on stage were busy shuffling around their stands. Elsa wondered if they felt like she did tonight; on display and uncomfortable? Or perhaps it was so routine to them by now that they didn't notice the audience watching them. If Elsa went on a few more dates, maybe this would become routine for her as well. With Honeymaren in the picture, she didn't necessarily hate the idea anymore.

Elsa was thinking just that when Honeymaren started down the catwalk minutes later. It was immediately obvious that something was wrong. She refused to look at Elsa as she approached. In fact, she didn't lift her head from the grates until she was standing right in front of her. Even still, her hands were clasped, and she wasn't saying anything. Honeymaren just looked at her, fighting an emotional battle between, what appeared... angered and stressed.

"is everything alright?" Elsa's head tilted. Her bottom lip worried between teeth.

Honeymaren's eye contact wavered as her fingers pulled through her hair. "This is...hard for me to say..." She released a small groan. "We have to go- well, you don't. I do, but seeing as I drove you here, yeah... we have to go."

Upon hearing her words, the sting of disappointment stung at Elsa's chest, and she found her breathing momentarily stalled. "It's alright. Is there, um, anything I can do to help you?"

Shaking her head, Honeymaren's frown darkened. "No, just pull that bag down for me, would you?"

Elsa did as she asked, handing it to her between the bars. "And this?"

She handed the Honeymaren the mystery bag that had sat patiently between them.

"Thanks," She mumbled. Honeymaren stuffed the bag into her backpack.

Elsa quickly grabbed the empty bottles and turned onto her side. Sliding down the ladder, she landed next to Honeymaren who still refused to look at her. Instead, she wordlessly lead Elsa from the venue and back down to the car.

Nothing but silence crossed between them on the drive back to Elsa's apartment. It was nerve wracking; anxiety provoking. Honeymaren's hands remained fixed on the wheel the entire time. Her knuckles turned white, and her eyes held low. Elsa hated to think it, but she was a little concerned for her own safety.

Stopping before the arched entry to the complex, Elsa slowly took off the belt. Her hand went to the door, but then she pulled it away.

She turned to Honeymaren with a slight frown. "Before I go, would you answer something for me?"

When Honeymaren met her gaze, Elsa saw anger there; but also deep sadness.

With her teeth grit, she nodded. "Sure,"

Reeling in a deep breath, Elsa leaned forward over her knees; her hands pressed flat to her thighs. "It feels... silly to ask, or perhaps... I feel like I am prying, but... that wasn't a bailout phone call, was it? I haven't done anything to upset you maybe, or make you change your mind?"

Honeymaren allowed her head to fall forward into her hands. "God, no!" She promised. Her eyes returned. "I swear, that isn't even close to what's going on here..."

"Okay." Elsa accepted. Her hand returned to the door.

"Wait!' Honeymaren shouted, causing Elsa to freeze. "-just... wait a minute."

She turned back to her, replacing her hand against her legs.

"Elsa, you didn't do anything wrong, okay? I promise, I was having fun with you. It's just... it's Ryder." She watched Elsa's eyes widen with concern. "I have to go pick him up from his father's. You see, things aren't great between him and I. It causes a lot of stress in my social life... and sometimes I have a lot going on."

"It's alright." Elsa assured her. She tried to force a smile. "You don't have to explain. I understand."

That should have made Honeymaren feel better, but she could see right through her date's mirage. Her expression only continued to darken, and the next time their eyes met; the hollowness there nearly stole Elsa's breath away.

"This is hard because I really don't want to do what I know has to be done right now." Her attention turned to her hands. She released a long sigh. "I really don't think I can do this..."

Frowning, Elsa shifted slightly in her seat. "Talk?" She questioned.

Slowly, Honeymaren shook her head. "No, I meant, date..." She refused to see Elsa's reaction. She knew it would only make things harder. "-not you specifically, but anyone. I should have known better... that something like this could have happened. I knew it was too soon, but I jumped in anyway. You made me want to jump in, but I was wrong to."

Elsa shrugged. Her eyes turned to the floor. "No, I, I think I get it..."

"No, you don't." Honeymaren scoffed. "You're upset, and you have every right to be. I saw your face when I told you we needed to leave. I felt terrible, but that's exactly why I have to do this. I'm only going to end up hurting you again. So, I have to call it off... I really, really, don't like the feeling of letting you down..." When Elsa didn't respond, Honeymaren's hand returned to the wheel. "-but I mean, hey, look at the bright side, at least I won't be harassing you in the library-"

Elsa wasn't certain if Honeymaren said anything else. She wasn't sure if she nodded in reply, or how long she sat there before she left the car. Elsa couldn't remember. The thick numbing sensation that took over her mind was all she could focus on as she walked back to her apartment.

She should have been happy, she considered. Things could go back to normal, yet, Elsa wasn't certain she was looking for normal anymore.

* * *

_Cheers,_

_-M. _


	8. Chapter 8

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

* * *

**"So…" Anna began slowly, singing into the phone.** "Do you have anything you want to tell me?"

Elsa rubbed at her eyes. She looked at the clock. It was minutes after eight on Saturday morning. Her hair was mused from the pillow, and sheet marks engraved into her fair skin.

"You're going to have to be more specific…" She whispered groggily. Elsa flopped onto her back.

"Did I wake you up? That's impossible! You're always awake before me!"

"Long night…" Elsa hummed. "Now, go on."

"Right, okay- so, I spoke with the afternoon teacher at Millie's daycare yesterday…" Anna's lips curled as she spoke. "Why didn't you tell me you went to the beach with Ryder and his mother?"

Elsa's eyes widened. She sat up straight, allowing the sheets fall to her waist. Words caught on her tongue, and as her mouth opened; all that released was a jumbled bunch of sounds.

Anna laughed. "I'm not mad! I'm just curious... Why wouldn't you tell me about this?"

Sighing, Elsa bit down on her lip. "I… didn't want you to jump to conclusions..."

"Oh, and why would I have done that?" She knowingly hummed.

"Because…" Elsa thought to continue, but her mind tied together between emotions. The next words to leave her mouth surprised even her. "-because you might have been right about the library thing! Alright?"

Smirking, Anna's eyes lowered. _Man_, did she wish she could see her sister's face right now. It was probably red with embarrassment as she fidgeted with her hands and nails.

"So, it wasn't the old books that caught your eye, then?"

Elsa internally groaned. "Not exactly… you see, Honeymaren and I work together. We ran into each other at Millie's daycare, but I think she was interested before then... She started bringing me coffee… _and we went out on a date_…"

She had whispered that last part, however it didn't matter. Anna had caught every word.

"I'm sorry, but battling two toddlers at the beach together doesn't exactly count as a date, you know?"

"No…" Elsa uncomfortably sang. "That wasn't the date I was talking about… the real date was on Friday… _yesterday_…"

Anna was silent for a moment. She'd either passed out from shock, or she had her hand held over the speaker while she squealed. Neither would surprise Elsa, and she rolled her eyes at the thought.

"-and how was it?" When Anna's voice came again, it was calm; _very mellow_.

"I thought it went fine, but…" Elsa fell back onto her bed. Her hand dragged across her face. "-but she cut it off, alright?"

Hearing the words leave her sister's mouth with a snap, Anna's eyes widened. "Wait, what? She dumped you right after the date? She couldn't just, I don't know, wait and ignore your calls like a normal person?"

"It's more… complicated than that." Elsa rolled onto her side, dragging her pillow with her. "It's her son, and her ex. Her life is…"

Elsa's voice trailed off. When she refused to finish, Anna stepped in for her.

"Complicated? Well, yeah. Whose life isn't?"

Anna was coming in strong in her defense, yet it didn't make Elsa feel any better. Honeymaren had given her no reason to be upset with her. She was only doing what she felt was best for her son and herself. It was honorable of her, really; not to lead Elsa on. She cut things off before they could being, and that was fair.

"She said she can't date right now, and I don't blame her! Besides, this isn't the worst case scenario. I wasn't even certain I wanted to go out with her in the first place."

Again, no response came from Anna. There was the occasional click of her tongue, and the tapping of her fingers against something solid. Elsa knew she was mulling over dangerous thoughts. Her nerves continued to increase as she waited for Anna's voice to return.

"Are you home?" Her reply was short.

"Um, yes… why?"

"I'm coming over!" Anna announced, before quickly hanging up the phone.

Knowing full-well her sister planned to jump right in the car; Elsa forewent the shower she'd been looking forward to. She replaced her sleep pants with black tights, and threw her hair into a bun. There was no real salvaging her appearance anyway. She'd hardly slept. Her mind kept reeling, and if Elsa was being honest; she didn't much care if her sister could see that she was hurting.

And hurting, she most certainly was. That was made all too clear when Anna walked through her door twenty minutes later.

She entered the living room. Her eyes were driven wide by the sight. Elsa sat cross legged on the couch while she clutched a cup of coffee between her hands. Her usually put-together sister appeared disheveled and tired. Blonde hair fell chaotically over the top of her head. Makeup stained the skin beneath Elsa's eyes. Her lips pulled to the side, and her shoulders shrugged.

Anna dragged the ottoman in front of Elsa. She sat, and her brows drew low.

"Did you like her?" It was the first question that came to mind. She'd been wondering about it since before she hung up the phone.

"What?"

"Honeymaren, _do_ _you_ like her?"

Bottom lip quivering, Elsa's attention diverted to the side wall. "I- I think so…" She whispered, wondering why the words had been so difficult for her to say aloud.

Anna hummed. "That certainly explains the mess, then."

"What mess?" Her eyes flashed around the tidy room.

Anna chuckled as she returned Elsa's shirt strap back to its shoulder. "You; you're the mess."

Frowning, Elsa set down her coffee. Her arms crossed, and she drew further away from Anna's hands. "If you came here to make fun of me; _don't_. I already feel foolish enough!"

"No, no!" Anna bat her hands. She came to sit beside her. "I'm here because I'm your sister. You went on a date! That's a big deal, Elsa! Well… for you, anyway…"

Anna felt her flinch in irritation. She ignored it, and took Elsa under her arm. It took a long moment, but she eventually relaxed. Elsa's head fell against Anna's shoulder, and her knees tucked tight into her chest.

"I'm sorry it didn't go well..." Her fingers brushed down Elsa's arm. "What did Honeymaren say, exactly- when she cut things off? Was it at the end of the date or… oh no! She didn't leave you somewhere, did she?"

Elsa softly shook her head. "No, she took me home... There were some issues, I think, with her son's father. She said she needed to pick Ryder up, and that she shouldn't date anymore."

"-but not that she didn't want to, right?" Anna adjusted in her seat to see Elsa better. "She said she couldn't date you, but only because things were hard at home?"

Elsa nodded, pulling herself upright. "I think so... She didn't look like she was having a bad time when we went out. It wasn't until she felt guilty about cutting the date short, that she decided to call things off…"

"Interesting…" Anna hummed. She taped a finger against her chin. "You know, her son Ryder has been at that school for as long as Millie has. I think they even started the same week..."

"Where is Millie, by the way?" Elsa frowned.

"Right now, probably drinking water from Sven's dog dish… 'Dad Duty'." She explained with a laugh. "-but Millie isn't my concern right now. I'm on 'Sister Duty', so let's figure this out together, alright?"

She sighed. Elsa's hands returned to her cup, and she hid her face behind its brim. "There's nothing to figure out, Anna. Honeymaren made her case. I have to respect that."

"Not necessarily…" Anna's eyes began to glow.

"Whatever you are thinking, put it away. I know that look, and I don't like it!"

"I wasn't thinking anything like _that_!"

"What?" Elsa baited behind an arched brow. "You weren't thinking of having me do something slutty?"

Anna's jaw dropped. She smacked Elsa playfully in the arm. "No! Not slutty…"

"Good, because I'm not you!"

Soon, Elsa's face mimicked Anna's. She was laughing as her sister pinched her side.

"It's not slutty!" Anna defended. Her voice rose sharply. "It's clever! Now, do you want to hear me out?"

"Fine," Elsa grumbled and set down her cup.

Crossing her legs, Anna turned to face her fully. "Okay, so Honeymaren's got a kid."

"Yes, Anna. We know this already…"

She shot Elsa a feigned glare. "Let me finish, or I am taking away family game nights!"

Elsa teased her by rolling her eyes. She knew Anna was more than aware of her personal dislike for game nights.

"So, Ryder…" Anna continued with a huff. "He's young. He requires a lot of attention, and he's being raised by a single working mom. That's a lot for any kid, but let's take a look at Honeymaren, shall we?… In the full year we've been at that school, I've never seen Ryder picked up by anyone other than her. Sometimes her mother, I assume, will go with her; but raising kids is a full-time job for even two people. And you mentioned an, ex…"

She watched Anna's eyes lower to her. "I know nothing." Elsa shrugged. "She said things weren't great between them."

"Hmm, I see. That really only adds to her already-stuffed plate..." Anna sighed.

It appeared her sister was finally grasping the issue here.

"Now you understand why I have to leave it be? Honeymaren's life is chaotic, and I would only make things harder for her..."

Anna's head tilted to the side. "Why harder? Why couldn't you make her life better; easier, even?"

"I don't know…" Elsa stared hard at her hands. "I guess I wouldn't want to complicate things further for her."

Shaking her head, she pulled Elsa's attention back to her face. "I don't think that's the issue here, Elsa. No, Honeymaren's concern is that she doesn't want _you_ to feel burdened or neglected by all she has going on… That's why she cut things off."

Her brows wavered. "Oh…" Elsa hummed.

Anna smirked, lips laying flat against her cheeks. "Well, what do you think? The question you need to answer for yourself is whether or not you think you could handle all that Honeymaren has going on. If her life became a part of your life, could you deal with short dates, sick kids, and battles between exes?"

Elsa shrugged again, and her shoulders fixed. "I think I could… I mean, I would always try to."

"I know you would, too, and I think that's why this is hurting you so much. You put yourself out there, Elsa! You took a crazy, random leap into something new, but then you weren't given the opportunity to try and make things work after… You took a risk for the first time in forever, and I think you should ride that wave and take another one. "

Elsa stood quickly with her mug in hand. "Okay, listen... None of this changes anything! It doesn't matter what I feel, or what I think about what I couldn't do. You're supposed to be comforting me! Not making me feel worse…"

She made a beeline for the kitchen, but Anna was hot on her heels.

"No…" She continued. "It's my job to help problem solve, and that's exactly what I am trying to do for you!"

Moving in front of the sink, Elsa ran the hot water. "I don't have any problems that currently need solving, thank you…"

Anna huffed. Her sister was so stubborn. She jumped onto the counter and sat beside Elsa while she started in on the dishes.

"-but you do, don't you see that? You're not the problem here, Elsa. _She is_… or at least, Honeymaren thinks she is… but anyway, my point is, you don't want to complicate things, yet I think you could actually be a solution; one Honeymaren hadn't expected to find. If you prove to her- tell her that you can handle her life while its at its worst; you will show her that a relationship with you is worth the investment. You both will learn that even the good stuff comes with sacrifice! I think that's your next move, however, it's entirely up to you if you want to make it or not..."

Elsa didn't respond, but Anna could see she'd gotten through to her. She was desperately scrubbing her mug clean. Her teeth were grit, and her eyes flickered as she mulled over her thoughts.

"Make yourself useful." Elsa finally said. She tossed a dish towel at Anna's face. Catching it, Anna smiled.

_Yeah… she'd gotten through to her. _

* * *

_Cheers,_

_-M._


	9. Chapter 9

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

* * *

**Her blue eyes snapped to attention as the bell chimed over the door.** Three first year students entered the coffee shop. They were laughing and leaning into each other as they shared secrets at too high a volume. Seeing this, Elsa's gaze lowered once again.

She had her grade book open on her computer. There were two dozen essays she had yet to review, but her mind was elsewhere. It was strict on the clock. Currently, it was a quarter passed one, and her heart lurched at the reminder.

Honeymaren usually brought her coffee any time before two thirty. It was always on her lunch break, however, today there were many uncertainties at hand. Would Honeymaren come to the cafe, knowing she planned to leave Elsa be? And if she did, how long would she have? Would she even be open to talking, or would all of Elsa's planning be for not?

The spiral of questions had her feeling nauseous. When the bell chimed again, Elsa nearly jumped out of her skin.

_Another student_, she acknowledged.

Elsa fought to huff. Her fingers dragged stubbornly through her hair. It was down today, and she had planned that when remembering Honeymaren had said she preferred it loose. Now, no amount of extra attention she'd given her appearance seemed to matter. Elsa felt ridiculous. She was certain she looked ridiculous, too.

The slight heat in her cheeks teased of an incoming blush. She felt sweaty, and Elsa was brought to debate why she was putting herself through this in the first place. She was sick. Anxiety crept in thick. When she planned this, never would she have thought it could feel this uncomfortable.

_That was it. _The final straw. Feeling her head grow lightheaded, Elsa knew she'd put herself through this for long enough.

Closing the laptop, she slipped it into her bag. Elsa stood from her chair and her eyes traced to the door. Suddenly, her heart was in her throat. Headed this way and currently crossing the street, was Honeymaren.

She was wearing her usual black slacks and matching blazer. There was leather stitched into the lapel. Elsa had always found that added detail distracting. It matched the leather on Honeymaren's studded boots. With her hair held back and braided, and her eyes hidden behind dark sunshades; Honeymaren was the picture of rebellious allure. Unfortunately, Elsa had not been prepared for it.

She was headed straight for the door, and Elsa began to panic. There was no time to escape now. Her plan was in motion, whether she wanted it to be or not.

Thinking fast, she returned to her seat. Her head buried into the first book she could pull from her bag, and she cold-shouldered the entryway.

When the door chimed this time, Elsa refused to look up. Back corner or not, she knew Honeymaren would likely spot her. Instead, Elsa waited until the woman's back was turned. Her eyes held at Honeymaren's fluid motions as she spoke with the barista. She handed her card to the cashier, and frowned when they shook their head. As their pointed finger extended across the cafe, Honeymaren began to turn. Reflexively, Elsa quickly hid her eyes.

Holding her breath, Elsa saw her boots first. Then, her eyes drew the length of her legs, all the way up to her tan face. They stopped at the smirk pulling across her cheeks. It was different than the usual 'all-knowing expression' Honeymaren saved just for her. There was something shy glazing her eyes today; something... _uncomfortable_. Elsa had never seen her quite this cautious before. It was startling.

"The barista pointed me in this direction. I assume I have you to thank for this?" Honeymaren took a sip from her coffee.

"Yes…" Elsa nodded. "Do you have a minute?"

"I could make one."

Shrugging, she sat across from her. Honeymaren's hands folded over the table, and her eyes hesitantly drew up to Elsa's.

"So…" She sang. "Did you have something you wanted to talk about or-"

"Yes! I did… I do… I wanted to apologize for-"

Honeymaren's brows had shot to her hairline. "No, please… you don't have to do this!"

Elsa offered her a small smile. "Actually, I think I do. I spoke with my sister yesterday and she helped me to understand something I hadn't considered."

She was whispering a fraction too low to be comfortable. It caused Honeymaren to giggle. "I'm surprised you said anything to her. You were so adamant about keeping this a secret."

"Yes well, I wasn't given much of a choice; not after you told the daycare about our trip to the beach together. Let's just say, my sister was not very happy to be kept out of the loop…"

Elsa's eyes were low, but Honeymaren could see the slight upward curl of her lips. "That wasn't exactly just _my_ fault..." Again, she watched Elsa's face shift with confusion. "Sand in the shoes; tells no lies." Honeymaren explained.

Looking down, Elsa ran a finger around the brim of her coffee cup. "Anyway…" She sang.

"Yes, so you spoke with your sister?"

"I did, and I realized I may have contributed to your decision to call this off."

Honeymaren frowned, turning silent. She reeled back into the seat with her arms folded over her chest.

"Listen, Maren… I can't pretended to understand what you are dealing with at home. From the little you've shared with me, it does sound… _complicated.._. But what I've now realized is, I didn't make Friday's situation any easier for you. That's on me... I should have taken Ryder into consideration long before I agreed to go out with you. I should have prepared myself better for what can happen while on a date with someone who has a child…"

Anger replaced the confusion on Honeymaren's face, causing Elsa's words to stall. Her open jaw wavered and her head tilted to the side. It was evident by Honeymaren's expression that she had put her foot in her mouth.

"Is this going somewhere or…" The veins in her neck bulged, and Honeymaren's back pulled straight.

"No, no! It is! I promise. I'm just... not very skilled in the 'saying what's on my mind' department."

Elsa's brows raised coyly. She looked for permission to continue. When Honeymaren didn't respond, Elsa sighed and moved forward anyway.

"I want to apologize for my reaction, you see? I should have thought about what it meant to have a child, and how issues can come out nowhere without any way to prepare for them. If I had, I would have handled things differently. My being upset about cutting the date short only hurt you further, and that wasn't fair to you."

As her anger faded, Honeymaren leaned forward. "-but you shouldn't have to hide your reactions from people. If you're upset, you're upset. That's all there is to it."

"No, I don't believe it's that simple." Elsa continued. "You were feeling frustrated. I should have acknowledged that and been more understanding of your role as a parent."

Honeymaren scoffed. "You make it sound so cut and dry, but dealing with my issues is not your responsibility, and you shouldn't have to suffer because of them."

"I'm not sure I understand how being willing to sacrifice time together would be considered suffering? You have to be the parent you need and want to be- it's as cut and dry as that." Elsa's lips drew to the side, and her hands hid in her lap.

"None of what happened on Friday was your fault. So, I'm sorry, but this conversation is feeling a little trivial to me. You don't need to apologize because you are not the reason I made the decision I did."

She watched Honeymaren pull her coffee closer. Her shoes shuffled beneath the table. She was making moves to leave, and Elsa was still far from reaching her proposal.

"I know," Elsa answered quickly. "I know it wasn't my fault, and I know you didn't break things off because of me… However, the part I could control- my reactions; instead of being understanding, the only thing I made easier for you was coming to the conclusion you did!"

Her blue eyes were wide and passionate. Honeymaren found herself staring into them for a moment too long. She had hesitated, but found the strength to look away. It only took three fast maneuvers, and she was headed toward the door.

"Wait, wait!"

She heard called behind her.

Elsa quickly fumbled to collect her things. She was running after her, ignoring eyes from cafe guests, and catching the door just after Honeymaren had escaped through it.

Elsa caught her on the other side of the street. She grabbed her arm and turned Honeymaren to face her.

"Please…" She breathlessly begged. "I'm not finished… _please_, let me finish." Elsa dropped her hand.

Honeymaren shook her head. "I have to get back to the library- a long walk and everything."

"Funny…" Elsa smirked. She drew her bag higher onto her shoulder. "I was just heading to the library myself."

She could see her response had Honeymaren visibly perturbed. Her neck straightened, and her knuckles turned white around her coffee cup.

"Five minutes," Elsa promised. "-that's all I need, then I'll go work in my office today! You won't have to see me again..."

She tried coaxing a small smile from Honeymaren, but her face remained stern.

"Fine." Her reply was short. Honeymaren spun quickly on her feet as she led their apparent march across campus.

It was difficult keeping up with her long strides. Yet once Elsa did, her eyes pulled in at the side of Honeymaren's strained face.

"Why did you walk out on me back there?" She asked with a slight frown.

Rolling her eyes, Honeymaren's arms crossed. "I thought you had something you wanted to say? Asking me questions doesn't add time to your five minute cut-off."

"Just answer the question! Don't be stubborn." Elsa was fairly certain she heard her sister's voice leaving her mouth.

_That darn redhead had finally rubbed off on her._

"I left because it doesn't change anything! I know you feel you needed to apologize, but I don't think you do! My life is still complicated. It's a mess and tiring, and you shouldn't have to add stress to your own life just because of me!"

"Shouldn't that be my decision?" Elsa baited. "You say I don't need the stress, but what if I am hoping to lighten your load; make life a little easier, a little better, even?"

Honeymaren chuffed and shook her head. "_You_, with these cut and dry comments… Dealing with my life is my responsibility! There's no need for you to try and play the big hero because it's not that simple... It's not just Ryder and work for me, you know? It's finances and god-awful drama, and the point is- you just can't understand it!"

Reeling in a sharp breath, Elsa cooled her response. "Well, I am sorry to say, I wasn't exactly given the opportunity to."

"What is this? What's going on here, Elsa?" Honeymaren stopped short, nearly causing Elsa to trip. "What do you want from me, hmm? Do you want me to tell you about my life so you can feel better about my decision to stop dating?"

She came to face her. Bringing their eyes together, Elsa tentatively shook her head.

"No…" She whispered. "I want you to allow me to try; try and understand your life and what you're going through…"

"Why would you want that? Why would anyone want that? Besides, you weren't all that thrilled about going out with me in the first place, remember?"

The tinge of sass in her voice had Elsa fighting to roll her eyes. "I want it because... I like you- as a friend, and maybe more… but I'm only asking for a chance. I had only barely begun to understand my own feelings when you decided to break things off! And I know- you think it'll be difficult for me to understand at times, and I only further proved that with my poor reaction. But, I am asking that you to try and let me in; by whatever means you'll allow me to..."

While Honeymaren's face held stern, her brown eyes had softened. "What would you suggest, then? How would you like to try?"

A slight splash of pink surfaced on Elsa's cheeks. She shrugged into herself, but her voice remained steady. "Another date, perhaps? Say, Friday night at eight?"

There it was… the long sigh and sad flicker of something unspoken. Honeymaren was watching her intently now, and Elsa knew she would be gauging her next response as she was let down once again. However, this time... she was prepared.

"I can't. I have Ryder this Friday." The skin of her forehead tightened, but she refused to look away from her.

"Well then…" Elsa sang, and a tiny grin crept to her lips. "How would you both feel about having some company?"

* * *

_Cheers,_

_-M._


	10. Chapter 10

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

* * *

"**What are you wearing?"**

Elsa rolled her eyes at the suggestive tone. Anna was prying for details, and boy was she going to be dissapointed. The reality was, while Anna's advice may have worked a few days prior, Elsa had benched all of her suggestions for this evening...

"I'm going to watch a movie and eat pizza. What do you think I'm wearing?" Her hands tightened around the steering wheel. "-jeans and a sweatshirt... it's all _very_ casual..."

"You!" Anna gawked. "You own jeans _and_ a sweatshirt?"

"You know, I called you to build up my confidence; not breakdown the little I had!" Elsa groaned and allowed her head to fall forward.

"I'm teasing you! Relax! It's going to be fine. Just take a deep breath and go inside… Don't be that creepy stranger sitting in the driveway talking to herself!"

She could hear the hint of sarcasm in her sister's voice, however, Elsa's cheeks flushed anyway. "God, you're right! If anyone can see me, I probably look ridiculous!"

"Elsa, Elsa! Deep breaths!" Anna reminded her again.

Elsa did as she was told, and pulled her shoulders back straight. "You're right. I can do this!"

"You can do this! Now, get inside!"

"Get inside…" she repeated, but slower. Hesitantly, Elsa removed her seatbelt.

"Call me after, okay?" Anna's eager voice begged.

"I will, and hey…" Her lips tugged shyly to the side. "Thank you."

"Anytime. I love you, remember?"

Pulling herself up from the car, Elsa shut the door behind her. "I do, and I love you, too. Alright… here I go."

She ended her call with Anna and replaced the phone in her pocket. Elsa then looked up at the adorable grey craftsman beside her. It was similar to the other homes in the tiny suburban neighborhood. There was a flower garden out front, and an amazing road-facing porch. It was quaint, really; a perfect place to raise a family.

Walking past the garage and around the side of the house, Elsa wasn't sure what to expect from the evening. She and Honeymaren had spoken very little since Monday. Their only means of communication had taken place through text, and those discussions were limited at most. Elsa knew how to find the apartment, and what they were eating, but other than that; no other words were spoken.

Elsa released the lock on the back gate which opened to a privately-fenced backyard. She navigated the brick path along the side of the house, and found the steps leading down to the apartment. Once in front of the door, Elsa hesitated. Her fist raised and suspended midair.

_I want this,_ Elsa reminded herself. _This is what I want to do._

Her eyes lowered. Elsa's fist knocked against the frame. There was no second guessing her decision now. She was here, and she was going to do what she'd set out to prove.

Elsa held her breath as she waited. Fingers fumbled with the locks on the other side. The door was pulled wide, and there, Honeymaren stood before her.

She appeared frazzled. Her braided hair was mused, and her breathing, labored. "Great! You're here!" she sighed with ease.

Honeymaren stepped back and allowed Elsa to pass through.

"Were you waiting for me long?" she asked, kicking her sneakers off onto the mat.

Honeymaren shook her head. "Nope, but I could really use some help. If you're up for it, that is?"

There was a hint of discomfort in her voice. Elsa could also see how Honeymaren bit down onto her inner cheek.

"I'd love to." she smiled.

Honeymaren noticeably relaxed. "Awesome, thank you! Right this way..."

She led Elsa from the tiny foyer and down a short set of steps. They entered into a dining, galley-kitchen combo; with a small living area at its other end. Honeymaren turned past the fridge, her complexion catching bright industrial-style lights. Across from her, Ryder was seated at a long wooden countertop. The boy did not appear pleased to have been left behind in his highchair.

Upon seeing his mother, his face turned bright red. Ryder began to cry, and Honeymaren turned to Elsa, completely embarrassed.

"Ever since they started transitioning him to the table at school, he cannot stand the highchair…" she explained. "Unfortunately, I needed him in there while I prepped food. He's been getting into everything lately…"

Elsa shook her head, not needing to hear more. "What do you need me to do?" she asked kindly.

"Let him out. Sit with him, if he lets you… he's clingy, though, and such a Mama's boy... Don't feel insulted if he wants nothing to do with you. We're still working on manners."

"Don't worry about me. I understand, and I'm not here to judge… I just want to help." Elsa offered her a small smile.

She wasn't certain why, but she could tell Honeymaren needed to hear that. There was something different about her this evening. She was more reserved; cautious even- than she'd been at the beach or school. Honeymaren's movements were stiff. Her eyes were flighty. Elsa didn't understand it, but she was going to do her best to make Honeymaren feel more comfortable with her being there.

She went to stand by Ryder. He flinched as her hands lowered toward his straps. Elsa was smirking, but he was skeptical.

"Hey there, you remember me from the beach, don't you?"

Ryder's tears stilled, yet his frown maintained. Elsa's fingers dared for his tray. Instantly, Ryder began to whine.

"You want to stay in?" she asked with a shrug. "I was going to let you out so you could show me your toys, but you can stay in the chair if that's what you want…"

As Elsa moved away from him, his protests silenced. She pretended not to look at him while her arms crossed and she leaned back against the wall. From out the corner of her eye she could see Ryder's head tilting. Honeymaren must have noticed as well. She laughed as she continued dicing vegetables.

"Mama!" Ryder finally wailed.

"Mama can't yet, bud. But maybe Elsa will let you out?" she smiled warmly at him.

When she didn't approach, Ryder decidedly turned to the stranger. "Out?" he questioned, and with far less enthusiasm.

"I can do that!" Slowly, Elsa moved toward him.

She tugged on the straps, and this time, Ryder allowed them to be removed. As they fell from his shoulders, his pudgy hands raised to the air. Elsa took it as a sign, and lifted him from the seat.

Ryder didn't try and take off running as Elsa had anticipated. He was content in her arms. His legs wrung tight over her waist. Ryder appeared to be sizing her up, and Elsa felt she was up to the challenge.

However, Ryder suddenly wriggled in her hold. "Mama!" he bellowed.

"What's mama doing?" Elsa asked. She smiled at him again before turning to Honeymaren. "What's she cooking?"

Bouncing him lightly, the two slid in at the counter. Ryder pleadingly reached forward for Honeymaren, but Elsa teasingly held him back.

"Mama's making food, but we can watch from here!" His hands lowered, but he still didn't appear very thrilled. "Look, Mama has cheese, and sauce, and pepperoni… _yum_!"

"Cheese!" Ryder echoed.

Elsa giggled in reply. "Yeah! You see, when Mama said pizza, I thought she was taking a break from cooking. Now I know… she just likes to show off!"

She bopped Ryder on the nose and he giggled.

"Hey, don't knock my food until you've tried it, lady…" Honeymaren scolded behind a tiny smirk. "Besides, homemade pizza is always better."

Shaking her head, Elsa walked away from the counter. She set Ryder down in the hall, and watched him freeze in place. Eyes widening, he began to pout.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "You don't want to show me your toys?"

His hands rose to her once more. Ryder's lip continued to lower.

"You are quite the clingy boy, huh?" Elsa teased him as she scooped Ryder back up from the floor. She quickly returned to Honeymaren's side. "I guess we are hanging out in here with you, then."

"I told you…" she sang. "If Ry's letting you hold him, there will be no putting him down now. It's usually not so bad during the day, but morning and nights… _forget about it_."

Elsa shrugged. "It's not a problem. Lucky for me, he's still a pretty teeny boy."

She teased Ryder's belly with her fingers and he giggled again.

"I'll remind you of that in five minutes when your arms are screaming."

Honeymaren was busy arranging toppings as Elsa and Ryder watched on. Elsa made small comments for the stake of the child in her arms, but he was more than content to just be held. Honeymaren joined in with the occasional boast. It was nice, though; simple. Elsa was surprised to find herself feeling so at ease in their home.

After a short while, Honeymaren was slipping the pizzas into the oven. She set the timer over the stove, and turned back to her guest.

"Alright, pizzas are a go. Now I can finally comment on those jeans…" Brown eyes pulled up slowly from the floor to find Elsa's rapidly darkening cheeks.

"Not you, too…" She held Ryder out to Honeymaren as he leaned toward her. "My sister is already having a field day over the jeans, and now I've got you making fun of me!" Elsa looked away.

"No…" Honeymaren coyly turned her head. "-making fun of you is definitely not my intention here. They look great, out of character maybe, but…"

She let her words trail off as she bit her lip. Honeymaren's dark eyes briefly met Elsa's embarrassed stare, before she turned away.

"So, there are twenty five minutes on the pizzas. I have to get Ryder to bed before then. I'm sorry I don't have better ways for you to entertain yourself, but-"

"Go!" Elsa encouraged her softly. "I will be fine. Don't you worry… go do what you need to do."

Honeymaren's shoulders shrugged. "Alright… if you're sure?"

"I am..." Elsa defended. "Now, stop looking so afraid! I will still be here when you're done."

She was teasing her, and that had Honeymaren dropping her jaw a little. She forced herself to walk away, wondering what had come over Elsa this evening? Who was this woman who'd walked into her house tonight? She was confident, and her shy personality had replaced with something far more maternal.

When Honeymaren returned minutes later, her kitchen had been scrubbed clean. Dirty dishes were now drying in the rack beside the sink. Plates awaited pizza, and Elsa had just started in on Ryder's highchair.

"What do you think you're doing?" Honeymaren half-heartedly scolded.

Elsa's attention stayed on the task at hand. "Cleaning up."

"That is so unnecessary!"

"Was it?" Elsa turned, pulling her brow into a perfect arch. "-because I think you made dinner… so that puts me on cleaning duty."

Her bottom lip wavered. Honeymaren looked as if she wanted to say more. However, her thoughts stalled as the timer beeped above the stove. She quickly turned it off and removed the pizzas.

"They look perfect," Elsa commented as she returned the towel to its hanger.

"Thank you, and thank you for doing the dishes…" Honeymaren was smiling to herself. Thoughts unspoken lingered on her lips.

"Shall I grab cups for drinks?" Elsa suggested.

Honeymaren shrugged. "No need. There's beer, wine, water, in the fridge. Take your pick."

"-and for you?"

Instantly aware of how close Elsa stood to her back, Honeymaren shivered.

"Beer for me…" she cleared her throat, and her neck craned uncomfortably.

She watched Elsa bending over to pull two beers from the bottom drawer. Honeymaren's cheeks darkened instantly, and she quickly turned away.

"Beer it is." Elsa whispered. She set them down beside the plates. "Anything else I can help you with?"

Making minimal eye contact, Honeymaren shook her head. "Nope, uh, just bring them into the living room, and I will meet you there."

When Elsa disappeared behind the counter, Honeymaren sighed. She leaned forward over the sink and pulled a hand over her tired face. Her hair was a mess. There was flour all over the work clothes she hadn't had time to change out of yet. Nothing had gone right this evening, but suddenly Elsa had everything feeling less chaotic.

Honeymaren found her seated on the couch. Her feet were kicked up onto the ottoman as she sipped her beer.

"I almost forgot to say something, but your home is really lovely!"

And it was. It may have been a basement, but the apartment itself had all the charm of a 60s farmhouse- white walls, exposed beams, lots of light and greenery…

"Thank you," Honeymaren grinned. She handed Elsa a slice of pizza before sitting, herself.

The cutting board was set down on the ottoman. Her feet joined beside Elsa's. Honeymaren mimicked her movements, and she lounged back into the arm of the couch. She turned in time to watch Elsa taking her first bite.

Elsa's blue eyes drove wide.

"Hot?" Honeymaren laughed.

"Just a little…" Elsa blushed, pulling the slice away from her lips. "Delicious, though."

"Still learning the art of patience, I see." Teasing her, Honeymaren blew on her pizza before biting off the corner with ease.

Elsa felt her lips curl as she watched Honeymaren relax back into the couch. The slice of pizza raised to her tongue and she smiled around it. When she looked up, Elsa was staring, _hard_.

"What?" she asked, an embarrassed laugh pulling past her lips.

Elsa shrugged. "You're different tonight…"

Honeymaren set down her slice. She rotated to fully face Elsa. "What do you mean?"

Sliding forward, Elsa did the same. Her legs tucked together over the cushion, and she shrugged.

"I'm not sure exactly." she answered honestly. "You seem a little less like yourself, is all..."

"Well, seeing as we're at my house, perhaps I am more like myself here than I usually am?"

Elsa's lips pulled to the side. "Are you certain? Because I think you're acting strange because I'm here... Am I making you uncomfortable?"

Brown eyes turned from blue. "Not exactly… it's hard to explain…"

Elsa's head cocked shyly. "Will you try?"

Her hand came to rest on the cushion between them. Seeing it there, Honeymaren took another bite as she contemplated. Elsa found herself doing the same while she waited.

It was a long moment before Honeymaren did respond. She was skeptical, shy; all the things she hadn't been with Elsa before.

"I've never introduced Ryder to anyone outside of family..." she whispered.

Elsa's brow furrowed and she nodded. "Okay…"

"I mean, there's the children and teachers at the school, of course. But it's a bit different that that, you see? I've never let anyone into our home… into our life like this." Honeymaren's eyes fell away.

Instead of surprised, Elsa felt enamored; honored beyond words. "That's why you've been so… strange… quiet really...because I'm here with you and Ryder?"

Honeymaren merely nodded, offering her a small shrug.

"So, I'll ask you again- am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No." Honeymaren whispered softly. "No, not you… More so I'm uncomfortable because I think I'm kind of enjoying it... I hadn't expected that, you know?"

Instead of responding, Elsa stole a second slice of pizza. She ate it, watching Honeymaren as she chewed. Once Elsa finished, seeing Honeymaren was still lost in thought; she leaned forward and crossed her legs.

"I have something I should confess as well." Elsa told her.

Honeymaren's eyes returned. "Oh yeah, what's that?"

Smiling, Elsa blushed, but she wouldn't bother to hide it. "I missed you this week."

Honeymaren laughed and rolled her eyes. "Really? Well, you didn't exactly seem to remember where the library was…"

"I didn't think I'd have to! You found my office just fine last week." Eyes went suddenly wide. Elsa's cheeks flushed darker. "I-I didn't mean it like that, of course!" she stammered.

"Relax, Snowflake. I know what you meant." Honeymaren laughed. "-and in the spirit of continuing in our honesty streak- avoiding you was intentional… I was giving you space to back out if you decided you wanted to."

Seeing Honeymaren's attention divert to her pizza, Elsa softly hummed. "I may have been doing something similar…" she sang.

Her brown eyes met Elsa's cautious blues. "Yet, here we both are…"

"Here we are…" Elsa tucked her red ears behind raised shoulders.

Instead of furthering the conversation that neither of them were quite prepared to have, Honeymaren turned on the tv. The atmosphere turned compatible. Both women relaxed with the night. What they had established so far this evening, that while hesitant; their new relationship was comfortable. It was nonthreatening… _simple_. Both silently hoped it would stay that way.

There was a long moment of mindless movie watching until Honeymaren stood up. She took the tray in her hand and turned to Elsa.

"Do you want anything else to drink?" she asked.

"Oh," Elsa smiled. "Water, please."

Honeymaren simply nodded and Elsa watched her go. Her eyes briefly followed, scanning over the end table beside her. There, Elsa caught sight of something she hadn't noticed earlier.

It was a picture frame made from wood. There were tiny reindeer carved into its surface. Frowning, Elsa took the frame into her hands. She was still staring at it when Honeymaren returned a moment later.

"Who is this?" Elsa asked. A delicate finger touched to the glass, resting over the face of a young boy. His arms wrapped tight around a smiling Honeymaren. He looked goofy and charismatic. Seeing their faces had Elsa wearing a similar expression.

"That's my younger brother, Ryder."

Her voice surfaced from much closer than Elsa had been expecting. Honeymaren was no longer seated on the other side of the couch. Elsa turned and found they were sitting right beside each other. Honeymaren sighed, staring at the photo from over Elsa's shoulder.

"Ryder?" Her head tilted. "It's a family name?"

Honeymaren's brows twitched. "It is now, unfortunately. My brother passed away a few months before Ryder was born. He was so excited to be an uncle. I wanted to find some way to keep him in my son's life…"

Elsa's gaze slowly drew back down to the photo. She felt her heart ache at the sight of the happy face above where her finger sat. Elsa stroked the glass once before returning the frame to the end table.

"That's a beautiful sentiment." She looked to Honeymaren.

"Thank you," she shyly shrugged. "-and also for not saying 'you're sorry' or 'how did it happen'; or any of those other irritating things people decide to ask when death is brought up…"

"Well, of course I hurt for your loss," Elsa explained. "-but what can I say to change things, or to help make you feel better? I'm not certain it's in my right to try and do either."

Frowning, Honeymaren's eyes lowered to her. "You speak as though you've learned this through experience?"

"My parents," Elsa pursed her lips. "A derailed train- it happened during my senior year of high school."

Honeymaren sighed, handing Elsa the water glass. She watched her take a sip. "Perhaps that explains the sadness, then?"

"What do you mean?"

Shrugging, Honeymaren bit her lip. "The emotions you carry in your eyes… I've noticed it. Sadness tends to linger..."

Elsa nodded. The ends of her mouth curled. "I might know what you mean…"

She searched the brown eyes before hers, understanding exactly what Honeymaren had meant. All those weeks ago, she recognized that same sorrowful glaze when she would accept her afternoon coffee. However, Elsa would never admit it- that wanting to know what caused the hurt behind Honeymaren's eyes; that is exactly what had Elsa gravitating toward her in the first place. It was irrelevant now. Her list of reasons for wanting to be nearer to Honeymaren grew longer everyday. If Elsa never learned another thing about her, she imagined her feelings for Honeymaren would remain entirely the same.

Elsa quickly turned back to the tv when she realized she was staring. "What time is it?" she bashfully asked.

Honeymaren pulled her phone from her pocket. "A little before nine."

Setting down the water glass, Elsa shifted to face her. "May I ask you something?"

The sensation of heat spreading across her face was no longer surprising. In fact, Elsa was fairly certain by this point that pink was her new and permanent cheek color.

"Would you consider doing this again?" Her gaze wavered.

"What? Spending time with you?"

Blush darkening, Elsa nodded. "-with you, and with Ryder… however you feel I fit… Would you consider it?"

"I don't need to consider it." Honeymaren's lips pulled to the side. "I already told you, Elsa. The issue here is not you. I think it's for you to decide if you want us in your life- and for the sake of full-disclosure; you should know that what you've seen isn't even the bulk of it..."

Elsa softly hummed and met her stare. "What if I told you I'm committed to seeing this through?"

Honeymaren laughed. "I'd say, 'be careful what you ask for'. Don't set any expectations for yourself for situations you can't yet understand."

"-but like I said, I want to understand." Elsa defended. The boldness in her tone surprised even her. "I know I don't know all that much about you, but I am committed to learning more."

A tiny smile drew to her cheeks. "My heart can take the beating if this doesn't work out, Elsa. It's Ryder who I'm concerned for…"

Elsa acknowledged the tinge of fear blooming in her chest before she quickly pushed it away.

She drew in a short breath. "I get it." She exhaled. "I can understand where you are coming from and why you feel the need to say that; especially now, knowing this is the first time you've allowed someone new into your home, but-"

Elsa paused. She dragged a hand through her hair.

"-but I want to say this- I know you and Ryder are a package deal. I understand any relationship with you would always extend to him, and that is something I am entirely comfortable with. I know that there will be times when things don't always go as planned, but I'm not looking to be the most important person to you; nor am I hoping for you to be mine… I am only asking to be a part of both of your lives in… whatever way you'll have me."

Honeymaren considered her silently, until suddenly she began to laugh. "What happened to that fragile snowflake I found at the library back in August?" she shook her head. "You've been so forward lately…"

"Have I been?" Elsa's shoulders pulled into her ears. "I'm sorry- I just- I'm trying to show you that I'd like for this to work."

"Don't be sorry, Snowflake. Color me convinced… and a little surprised, actually." Her stare darkened. Honeymaren subconsciously leaned toward her.

Elsa's eyes began to widen and she stopped Honeymaren with a flat hand to her chest.

"Wait!" she pleaded. "I have one more question I need to ask."

Coming to understand her movement, Honeymaren reeled back. "Sorry… Alright, Miss Twenty Questions over here… go on…"

Elsa's embarrassment only heighted. Her skin began to heat. "I'm not your idea of a fling, am I? That wasn't your plan when you asked me out…"

Honeymaren giggled. She rolled her eyes. "I've been doubling up on coffee recipes, and now you're wondering if I was trying to buy your way into bed?"

Elsa cringed. "Kind of…"

Honeymaren paused for a moment, watching Elsa fidget with her hands. "No Elsa, that's not what I want from you."

And she said no more.

Honeymaren pulled back from Elsa's reach, a slow smile taking to her lips. She turned her gaze to the tv, however, from the corner of her eye she watched Elsa battling confusion. Honeymaren stifled a laugh. She stole one of Elsa's hands into hers and relaxed back onto the couch. It was impossible not to marvel at the sensation of cold skin against her warm. Hot and cold, light and dark- they were opposites in nearly every sense of the word. Yet, something about this made so much sense. Both had to hope that with enough time they'd discover exactly why that was.

Long minutes continued to pass them by. Neither commented on how Elsa's palm began to sweat, nor the feeling of electricity trapped between them. Infact, no one said anything all until Elsa was caught fighting a yawn.

Honeymaren smirked, and watched her try to hide it. "You're tired." she pointed.

Elsa's eyes drew back from the tv. "As a matter of fact, I really am..." She blushed. "Let's just say mustering up the courage to be here tonight resulted in more hours of sleep loss than I care to admit to you."

Honeymaren's eyes turned to the ceiling. "You are something else entirely, did you know that?" She smiled and released Elsa's hand. "But you're not alone in being tired. I'm fading, too... Do you think it's best we call it an early night?"

Her nose scrunched. Elsa nodded. "As much as I hate to say it, and I kind of do… but we probably should."

As she stood from the couch, Honeymaren reached down and pulled Elsa to her feet."Look on the brightside, though. Next time you won't have to be so nervous."

"Next time?" Elsa questioned hopefully. She allowed herself to be led by the hand back through the kitchen.

"Yes, Snowflake." She caught Elsa's eyes briefly over her shoulder. "There will be a next time."

In the dark foyer, Honeymaren watched Elsa slip on her shoes. She fought the keys from her pocket and stood by the door. Elsa appeared to be waiting for something. Her hands clasped as she rocked back and forth on her heels.

"Until next time, then…" she sang unsurely.

Honeymaren pulled open the door for her. "I'll call you later when I've had time to think about when and where."

Elsa nodded, still feeling disquented. "I look forward to it!" A small smile and a shrug tucked into place. "Well... goodnight."

"Goodnight, Snowflake..."

Honeymaren watched as Elsa stepped out under the clear night sky. Darkness enveloped her immediately. Only the length of her stark white hair could be seen from the door.

"Elsa…"

Elsa turned. Honeymaren stood center to the walkway a few paces behind her. She lifted her hand and beckoned Elsa back with the waggle of a single finger. As Elsa hesitantly drew closer, she could see Honeymaren was wearing a smirk.

Elsa dared within reaching distance. Her feet were still moving forward when fingers combed through the hair at the back of her head. With a gentle tug, Honeymaren was drawing her downwards. Elsa barely had time to take a breath and close her eyes, before her lips were touching Honeymaren's.

A small gasp muffled in their embrace. Dizzy-minded, Elsa's body yielded to the arms around her waist. She allowed herself to fall forward into the kiss, deeping it without even trying.

Elsa arched into her. Heat coursed through Honeymaren's chest, and she responded by holding onto her tighter. She knew they shouldn't dare further than this, but the sensation of having Elsa in her arms was intoxicating. She was making her lightheaded. A blend of static and misfiring nerves spanned out across her skin. Forcing herself to stop, Honeymaren's hand traced down from Elsa's head and onto her neck. With her thumb braced against Elsa's jaw, she pushed her back.

"I had planned to wait on that…" Honeymaren whispered, smiling.

Elsa's lips were still agape. "No, I- I'm glad you didn't..." she stammered.

"Really?"

Blue eyes slowly traced her face. Even in the dark, Elsa was close enough to see all of her- the freckles lining Honeymaren's cheeks, the slight upward curl to her nose. She smelled of flour and something earthy; sandalwood, perhaps. Elsa didn't think it possible, but she found Honeymaren more alluring in that moment than ever before.

Instead of answering, Elsa leaned into her once more. She had to know, had to remember- the exact sensation that flooded her blood during their first kiss.

Her lips brushed against Honeymaren's bottom one. Elsa shivered and did it again. Until finally, she relaxed. Pressing herself into Honeymaren, their lips sealed into a perfect fit.

When Elsa drew back, her eyes were still closed. She gave a slow blink before her vision returned.

"Okay…" she hummed. "Goodnight again…"

She walked away, unwilling to turn around. Seeing Honeymaren flushed or frazzled would only have Elsa hurrying back to her. Yet, it wasn't until she neared her car that Elsa realized a kiss was exactly what she must have been waiting for.

* * *

_Cheers,_

_-M. _


	11. Chapter 11

**_Cold Secrets_**

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

* * *

**"So, you kissed and then what?"**

Elsa playfully leaned into Anna's hip. "Stop it! I've already told you everything you need to know! Don't make me repeat it."

Anna giggled. Her hands tightened on the stroller. "I just love seeing you get all flustered and red faced! This is so unlike you, Elsa! Ah! I am loving it."

She groaned. Elsa dropped the box of cereal into her cart with an audible thud. "You're terrible, you know that?"

"Please, I'm your sister. Therefore, I am biologically programmed to harass you about your love life." Anna watched Elsa roll her eyes. "Come on! You know I'm only teasing…"

"Could have fooled me," Elsa sassed, as her phone vibrated within her pocket.

She pulled off to the side of the aisle and looked down. Her heart began to race. Her cheeks turned pink, and her eyes went wide.

"It's her!" she looked to Anna for help.

"She's texting you?" she asked.

Elsa shook her head and turned the phone towards Anna. "Calling! What do I do?"

"What do you mean, 'What do you do?' You answer it! Come on, don't be weird!" She drew in tight at Elsa's side;_ too close_\- for her sister's comfort.

Elsa hesitated for only a brief moment more before deciding to answer.

"Um, hello?" She tried to push Anna away by turning her shoulder.

"Hey, Snowflake. How are you doing?"

"Snowflake?" Anna giggled.

Elsa shot her a glare. She continued pushing the cart down the aisle, leaving Anna to eagerly follow behind her.

"I'm good- grocery shopping. How are you?"

"I'm doing well…" Honeymaren responded evenly. "But listen, if you're busy I'll make this quick."

"Alright, go ahead. I'm all ears… " Elsa felt the heat in her face increase at the sound of her voice alone.

"So, I was looking at my schedule for this week, and it's packed… like _jam packed_…"

"No worries!" Elsa shrugged. "We can try for the following."

"-but wait… I'm not finished." Honeymaren waited to see if she would protest. When Elsa didn't, she continued. "Anyway, like I was saying… it's a busy week. However, Ryder and I have this Halloween party at his school on Saturday, and I was wondering if you might want to go with us? I figured we could go back to my place after, eat his candy, watch classic horror movies…"

She could hear Honeymaren's voice lifting the longer she continued speaking. Elsa still, was forced to sigh.

"Well, this is difficult…" she began, cringing at her own words. "-because I'm already going to the event at the school…"

"Because of Millie, right… I did wonder."

"Yes, Millie…" she hummed, and Anna was suddenly at her side again; showing off her wide blue eyes.

"Well, if I may make a suggestion," Honeymaren sang. "If your sister's alright with it- perhaps you go with them, and then leave with us?"

Blushing, Elsa turned to Anna, but only briefly. Her gaze quickly sought the ceiling in avoidance. "I will have to ask her…"

Anna made a face, but Elsa ignored it. She feigned shopping for random things in the pet food aisle… for the pet she didn't have, _of course_.

"Of course, and don't stress. Get back to me when you can."

Elsa nodded to herself. "I can do that… I'll talk to you tomorrow at work."

"Great!" Elsa could almost hear how Honeymaren smiled. "Well, I'll let you get back to grocery shopping. Goodbye, Snowflake." she teased.

"Bye, Maren…"

Quickly stashing her phone, Elsa attempted to pick up speed. Anna wasn't having it, though. She was right there at Elsa's side, eyeing her like crazy.

"Well?" she demanded.

"Well what?" Elsa asked, doing her best to avoid Anna's gaze.

Thinking quickly, she steered the stroller in front of Elsa's cart. Elsa glared, seeing her predicament. Anna had effectively pinned her to the aisle; knowing very well that she didn't have the heart to push the stroller out of her way.

"What did she say?" her hands fought to her hips.

Elsa sighed. "She invited me over again, but it's not going to work out this time, okay? It's no big deal!"

She tried to back away, but Anna caught the cart with her hand. "-and why won't it work out?"

"Because…" Elsa huffed. Her eyes diverted. "-because she invited me to the Halloween party, but I already committed to going with you!"

Anna's expression grew bored. She flashed Elsa a slow blink. "I'm sorry, but are you seriously trying to use _me_ as your scapegoat?" she deadpanned.

"It's not a scapegoat!" Elsa defended. "I didn't lie! We already have plans…"

"And since when is your sister so unreasonable that she wouldn't want you to take off early to spend time with your new, sexy, single-mom girlfriend?"

Her brows pulled low. "She's not my girlfriend." Elsa grumbled.

"Not yet, anyway…"

She watched Elsa roll her eyes.

"Come on! You know you want to say yes. Don't you dare use me as your excuse! I'll have no problem walking up to Honeymaren on Saturday and telling her you have absolutely no plans after."

Elsa held her glare. "Fine!" she scoffed. "-but I'm not sharing anymore details with you, then."

"Your threats don't hurt me, Elsa. You know you're going to tell me regardless…" Anna smiled as she pulled the stroller away from Elsa's cart. "Oh, and speaking of neglected details… _Snowflake_? Really?"

Elsa quickly hurried from the aisle.

"Wait! Don't be like that! I think it's adorable!" Anna shouted after her.

* * *

_"Coffee?" _

Elsa's phone buzzed against her desk. She pulled her eyes away from the computer screen and looked down. With context like that, naturally it was Honeymaren. Yet despite knowing it, seeing her name flash across the screen still drew a smile to Elsa's lips. The reaction caused her to feel a little silly, but she ignored it.

_"Am I coming to you, or are you coming to me?"_ she replied. Elsa replaced the phone against her desk.

_"Already on my way to your office. Don't leave…"_

Her heart lurched. Elsa's eyes widened. All at once, she was trying to use her computer screen as a mirror, fingers scratching through her blonde hairs. Checking herself over, Elsa made certain her skirt was smooth and laying flat, and she cleaned the smudged makeup from beneath her eyes. She couldn't recall a time where she'd ever put this much energy into her appearance.

It was kind of… _fun_.

Elsa was reeling in a deep breath when the knock at the door surfaced. A wave of heat washed over her, causing Elsa to turn slowly in her seat.

Honeymaren was already entering her office. She had her back to Elsa as she closed the door behind her.

"You know, I am starting to get a little concerned for what happens after pumpkin spice season ends…"

Elsa accepted the coffee that was humorously thrusted into her hands. "I drink regular coffee too, you know…"

She took a slow sip as Honeymaren dragged a waiting-chair closer to her desk. Today, she was wearing a long green skirt and a black top. It was different for Honeymaren, but still considerably attractive. It had Elsa trying to rein back in her stare. The challenge proved difficult, and so she looked down at her hands instead.

"I don't have long…" Honeymaren tried to steal Elsa's attention. "Unfortunately, someone's office is on the opposite side of campus as the library."

"Hence the reason I hide from my students' outside of office hours there! In fact, I'm fairly certain more than half of my classes don't even know we have a library…" Elsa smirked.

"-and all this time, I thought it was the free coffee that kept you coming back." Honeymaren's large brown eyes circled playfully towards the ceiling.

"Well, now that I found a service that delivers, who knows… I might not need to leave my office at all."

Her jaw dropped to reply, but the words stalled out. This new and rare side of Elsa's personality; it was going to get Honeymaren into trouble.

"I could start charging you," she dared. Elsa's brow arched, and Honeymaren forced herself to look away. "Anyway… like I said, I don't have long, but I did want to check in and see if you had any updates on Saturday?"

"I do…" Elsa's head tilted to the side.

Honeymaren lowered her eyes. "-and?" she sang.

"-and… I'll be there."

"Great!"

Elsa could feel the beginnings of a blush heating against her cheeks. She wondered if Honeymaren would always have this affect on her, or if she'd eventually grow used to it.

"Two seconds ago you were blatantly flirting with me, and now… _look at you_!" Honeymaren shook her head. "-all flustered because I asked you out… and again, might I add."

"I'm not flustered." Elsa leveled. She took a long sip from her coffee.

"-and on that note, I've got to get back…" With a sigh, she stood from her seat. Honeymaren then surprised Elsa by lowering her head down an inch from hers. "See you later, Snowflake."

Her mouth pressed quickly to Elsa's. Honeymaren's hand sealed to the back of her head. Feeling daring, her tongue swept out across Elsa's bottom lip, and she quickly pulled away.

Elsa watched her heading slowly towards the door. Honeymaren stalled for a moment before turning back.

"Hmm…" she contemplated. "As it turns out, I might enjoy pumpkin spice afterall…"

With a shrug, Honeymaren left the room, leaving Elsa's jaw slack and her eyes stunned wide.

* * *

_Cheers, _

_-M. _


	12. Chapter 12

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

* * *

**Millie's rattle had fallen into Elsa's lap.** She hadn't noticed. When the truck jostled a pothole, and the rattle fell to the floor; Elsa didn't notice that either.

Angered by her aunt's neglect, Millie babbled and waved her arms. Demanding her attention, she began to shout.

"Oh, Auntie Elsa…" Anna sang from the front seat.

Tearing her eyes from the window, Elsa blinked. "What?"

"Excuse me, your niece is speaking to you, and you're completely ignoring her."

"Oh…" Elsa turned her head.

Her sister's words felt more serious than Anna's joking tone suggested. She feigned a smile and placed her hand on Millie's knee.

"Okay, what's going on with her?"

It was Kristoff. He was starring at Elsa through the rearview with his brows held low.

"Elsa's nervous about her d-a-t-e…" Anna explained to him. Her expression turned coy.

"I'm not nervous! I'm distracted. There is a difference, you know? And also, what's with the spelling?" Elsa grumbled. Her arms folded over her chest.

Millie's wide eyes turned to her and she tilted her head.

"Distracted?" Anna hummed. "That's interesting… what has you feeling so distracted, dear sister?"

Elsa lowered her brows as Anna turned over her shoulder. "I was thinking about how I should trade you in for a different sister- upgrade to the newer, nice model… someone who is less interested in my love life."

Gloating, Anna smacked Kristoff's arm. "Did you hear that? Elsa says she has a love life! I thought this moment would never come!"

Elsa's eyes rolled back to the window. She wouldn't tell Anna, but she was, in fact, _very nervous_. If she knew that, Anna might try harder to embarrass her. She always meant well, but Elsa hadn't known Honeymaren all that long; and Anna had a tendency to be, well… _intimidating_.

They pulled into the school right before two. Elsa regretted coming immediately. Cars lined the street. The back playground was a mobscene, and everyone was in full, head to toe costumes. Everyone except Elsa, that was…

Kristoff parked his truck in the far lot. As they stopped moving, Millie started in on a tantrum. Tantrums were a growing fad in the Bjorgman Household. Elsa was only thankful she could return home now after hers visits.

She turned to Millie with a small smile. Elsa worked quickly to unbuckle the restraints as Anna began to sing.

"Oh… well, would you look at that?"

Elsa's attention drew up to the car parking beside their's. Instantly, her cheeks were set ablaze.

"Our timing worked out perfectly." Anna flashed her panicked sister a quick wink.

Honeymaren stepped from her car. It was a different one than the Comet she'd driven on their first date. This one was a sedan- still black, but better-suited for someone with a young toddler. If she'd noticed them, Honeymaren hadn't made it apparent. She was pulling Ryder from his carseat, reminding Elsa that Millie continued to scream in her ear.

"Go on!" Anna encouraged as she took off her seat belt. "I can handle Millie. You go say, hello…"

The nerves she'd been fighting to hide were suddenly on full display across her face. "Say hello…" she hummed. "Okay…"

Slowly, Elsa undid her belt and pulled her hair behind her ears. Before she stepped out, she looked to Honeymaren's car once more. Her heart lurched. Elsa had been spotted. Honeymaren was rounding her car with Ryder against her hip.

Standing from the truck, Elsa smiled as they drew closer.

"What are you supposed to be?" Honeymaren greeted.

Elsa joined her near the tailgate. "Um… here?" She looked down at her clothes.

"Well, I can't argue with that logic." Honeymaren shrugged.

"Don't let her fool you…" Anna giggled. She climbed down the truck. "She's Clark Kent! It's the best I could convince her to do for me."

She tossed Elsa the hat from her bag. Grumbling, Elsa caught it, and slipped the hat over her head. To add to the ensemble, she pulled the glasses from her pocket. Elsa slid them over the bridge of her nose and stepped back. The final detail was her black jacket. She zipped it half way down to reveal a vintage Superman t-shirt.

"I'm Clark Kent." she tried again. Her eyes slowly returned to Honeymaren. "-and you're pirates! Very cute..."

Cute was an understatement, Elsa suddenly realized. The effect that knowledge had on her was maddening. Honeymaren was wearing skin-tight red jeans. Her white top hung off her shoulders, and a black leather belt corded around her waist. The boots she wore were knee high and heeled. Brown curls were left messy and untamed. They cascaded down her back and onto her chest, spilling out from beneath a red bandana.

Ryder was nearly matching his mother. The only slight difference was, he wore a black vest in place of Honeymaren's belt.

"Unfortunately, his hat was a no-go." she motioned to the hand at Ryder's back. "-but watch this… hey, Ry, what do pirates say?"

"Ah!" he bellowed, and Elsa laughed.

"You both look great!" she took Ryder's hat from Honeymaren, freeing up one of her hands.

"Thank you, and so do you…" she smiled.

Elsa didn't miss how Honeymaren's lackadaisical attention drew up from her feet. Nor did she miss the subtle darkening of her eyes. Elsa caught Honeymaren's stare briefly, and arched her brow.

If she were being honest, it was a nice change of pace to be admired.

They both turned away from each other as Anna approached.

"Wow! Look at you two! Look, Millie! Ryder's a pirate!" Millie's face pulled back from Anna's neck.

"Honeymaren, this is my sister, Anna… Anna- Honeymaren."

"Maren…" Anna beamed.

"Good to see you guys again," she winked.

Elsa lips pursed and she nodded. "Right, you both know each other from school… which is where we are…" Her toes dug into the dirt.

"Guilty…" Anna's face scrunched. "-but I don't believe you've met my husband yet? He's been pretty busy with work these days."

Kristoff was rounding the truck. His arms overfilled with candy and decorations.

"I heard my title." he mocked.

Kristoff dumped the Halloween supplies on the back of the tailgate before joining the group. He extended his hand to Honeymaren, and all at once; his eyes went wide. Both their heads tilted in unison. Faces laced with shock.

"Wait a minute… _Maren…_ Maren Nattura… How did I miss that one?" His wide gaze turned from his wife, to Elsa, and back again. "This is who you guys have been talking about?"

To both Anna and Elsa's surprise, Honeymaren drew him into a hug. She was smiling when she pulled back. "Ice-Man! No way! You know, I had an inkling when I saw Bjorgman on the sign out sheet, but I completely forgot to ask! How long has it been?"

Kristoff pulled a hand through his hair. "Woah, I don't know… six… seven years?"

"Wait, wait! Hold up! You two know each other?" It was Anna who spoke, but Elsa was grateful she had.

This new information had rendered her speechless. By the weight of her jaw alone, Elsa was fairly certain she was staring. There was officially another person she could add to this list of people who knew Honeymaren better than she did.

"I played ice hockey with Maren's brother in grade school!" he explained.

"Hey now! And me! Honeymaren feigned a glare.

"Who could forget? You were the only person who could out-skate every guy on the Northuldra Knights before you were even in high school. You know, it's still a shame they wouldn't let you play because you were a girl… "

She waved him off. "They were afraid I'd mess up college scholarships for the boys. Besides, I'm over it now! It was their loss, anyway… wow, though! I can't believe you recognized me!"

He shrugged. "Longer hair, little bit taller- still Ryder's splitting image. It wasn't hard to put the pieces together."

Anna was staring. Her mouth had fallen agape like Elsa's. "You two. You went to school together?"

Honeymaren laughed. "Yeah, we grew up in the same hometown. What a small world!"

"Maren's mom used to make dinner for all the guys after our games. I spent more time at their house growing up, than I did my own!" Reminiscing, Kristoff's lips drew to the side. He looked down at his feet. "By the way, I was really sorry to hear about Ryder. I couldn't believe it… that's… it's a- I just wish I'd known sooner so I could have been there to support you and your mom."

Honeymaren shook her head. "No worries. Listen, my mom and I are doing well, but you should come by sometime and see her. I'm sure she'd like to make you dinner, just like the good old days."

His face brightened and Kristoff smiled. "I'd like that. It'll be good to catch up. Besides, the kids already know each other. Soon, your mom's going to be feeding a whole new generation."

As if she knew her father was talking about her, Millie began to squirm. The excitement from the cars and other children in costumes had finally piqued her interest. Anna compiled by setting Millie down on her feet. She was the Bat Girl to Anna's Poison Ivy; and Kristoff was their Bane.

Seeing his friend waddling to freedom, Ryder, too, demanded his release.

"Hey Kristoff, why don't you get the trunk set up and we'll start making the rounds?" Anna called to him, while Millie began pulling her toward the chaos.

He nodded. Kristoff rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath.

"Something tells me he knew that was exactly what was going to happen when we got here…" Anna whispered. "Well, come on now, ladies! We've got candy to collect so that we can steal it from our kids later!"

Her arm linked with Elsa's, and Anna tugged her along. "What's this called again?" she asked.

"It's trick or trunk." Honeymaren moved in at Elsa's other hip, Ryder walking between them. "It's easier for the younger ones to walk around here. You know, rather than taking them somewhere in the city."

"Kristoff and I were thinking about taking Millie through our neighborhood after, but now… seeing this…" Anna shook her head. "We'll have to see how it goes."

Millie stopped in front of the first row of cars. Her eyes lowered skeptically at all the decorations. Finally, when she saw the bright bucket of snacks being passed around, she nearly tore from Anna's hand.

"Go ahead, baby! Use your basket!" Anna followed close to her back, walking Millie through the drill.

Elsa turned to find Ryder hiding behind Honeymaren's legs.

She laughed. "This is going about as well as I expected."

Honeymaren tugged his hand and drew him closer to the cars. He protested, but his mother wasn't leaving him much of a choice. From the first car, to the second- Honeymaren was forced to do all the legwork. She held out Ryder's basket. She collected the candy, exchanging things when he complained, and then ushered him back in behind Mille.

Watching them, Elsa didn't go far. She continued between cars, giving good distance as the children collected toys and snacks. She laughed at the idle jokes parents made about their kids costumes, and smiled at her niece when she stopped to trade candies with a stranger. Elsa enjoyed her view from the sidelines.

Occasionally though, Honeymaren would turn back to check on her; as if wanting to make sure Elsa was okay. Elsa would flash her a smile in return, and wave a hand for them to continue on.

From what Elsa had seen, Millie and Ryder were fire and ice. Millie had little to no fear, while Ryder glued to Honeymaren like she was his teether to earth. Elsa could picture them as long-term friends. Millie would be totting poor Ryder along for life, and forcing him into things he never would have done on his own.

At the thought, Elsa giggled to herself.

"What's so funny?"

She turned to find Anna had snuck up at her side.

"I was thinking about how alike you and your daughter are…" Elsa teased.

"Yeah, I just passed her off to Honeymaren with no complaints. I honestly think she'd walk off with anyone… Kristoff is terrified, but she's a ball-buster... that daughter of mine."

"The complete opposite of Ryder, really. He's the ultimate mama's boy." Elsa sang with a quick shake of her head.

"Who knows, he could grow out of it! Besides, if you and Maren get married, Millie will be his cousin. That'll give her plenty of time to work her influence on him!"

Elsa flashed Anna a deadly glare. She smacked her arm. "I stand by the new sister comment from earlier- and you better not start making those comments in front of Maren!"

Her eyes glanced around, making sure Honeymaren wasn't in ear shot. Luckily, she spotted her pulling the kids across the far lot.

Anna laughed beside her. "Oh, you've got it bad, Elsa! I can tell." She bumped their hips together before dragging Elsa off toward the others.

The rest of the event continued without further commentary from Anna. Millie and Ryder finished scouring for candy, and had now retired to the playground. Anna spoke with some of the other parents. Elsa tucked in close at her side. Meanwhile, Honeymaren was on the other side of the fenced area, speaking with another family from Ryder's class.

It wasn't long before the chaos began to die down. Children started filtering back to their cars. Parents closed their trunks and stashed the candy. Even the playground slowed. Honeymaren waved off the family she'd chatted with before heading back towards Elsa.

"I'm going to help Kristoff clean up. I'll catch you both over there before you leave…"

Elsa pulled her eyes away from the approaching woman to smile at Anna. "Will do."

She watched Anna and Millie filter out of the gate with the other families. A brush of fabric touched her leg, and she knew Honeymaren snuck in beside her. Very slowly, Elsa turned to meet her warm brown eyes.

"So… those glasses…" Honeymaren smirked. "Are they real, or a costume find?"

Elsa mimicked her expression. "They're for driving, why?"

"You look good in them, is all…" She shrugged.

"Oh, is it?"

Tired of being ignored, Ryder reached out to her. Elsa flashed him a grin and kissed his hand.

"Alright..." Honeymaren groaned. "The glasses, and now you're loving on my son… Tell me, are you perfect?"

Elsa scoffed. "Stop it. Enough of that!"

Rolling her eyes, Honeymaren backed towards the gate. "Well, come on now, Snowflake. You're coming with us, aren't you?"

Honeymaren turned, leaving Elsa to follow. She did and smiled, because following Honeymaren suddenly felt like the most natural thing in the world.

* * *

_Cheers,_

_-M._


	13. Chapter 13

Cold Secrets

-M. Lauren

* * *

Chapter Thirteen

* * *

The car had barely made it into park before Honeymaren stripped her seatbelt. She impatiently tapped her foot while watching Elsa slowly do the same. When she was nearly free from the restraint, Honeymaren snuck a hand to the back of her neck. Fingers threaded through blonde hairs. She tugged Elsa forward and captured her mouth at once; her single arm still inconveniently trapped behind her.

She felt Elsa grin against her lips. It was the most exhilarating sensation Honeymaren had ever experienced before.

"Been waiting for that long?" Elsa's words teased against soft skin. Her hand had somehow freed itself and now splayed against Honeymaren's cheek.

With a breath, she pulled back. "As flattered as I am you came to visit me at the library all week… don't." she groaned. "I can't do this there."

Before Elsa could respond, she stole her lips once more.

"Mama!" Ryder bellowed.

A sigh escaped her chest, and Honeymaren released her. She brought their foreheads together. "Both those glasses and this child will be the death of me."

Elsa giggled. "Well, I can help with one of those." smirking, she slipped the glasses into her purse.

Honeymaren rolled her eyes. She reeled in a deep breath and stood from the car. Dutifully returning to the back seat, she drew Ryder into her arms. Together, they left the garage and Honeymaren's hand slipped into Elsa's. She led their way down to the apartment, not missing the blue eyes transfixed to the side of her face.

Unlike Elsa's first visit, Ryder did not demand to be held. He had no issues being placed on his feet and left to his own devices. He teetered across the hall. As Elsa kicked off her shoes, she watched after him. Ryder came to a stop with his head tilted, as if silently looking for them to follow.

Honeymaren nodded to her. Taking the lead, Elsa started down the hall and watched Ryder giddily run from sight. When they rounded the corner, he had all but disappeared.

"This way…" Honeymaren came up behind her.

A hand touched her waist, and Elsa shivered at the contact. She felt the heat trapped between their bodies. Honeymaren guided her across the living room and through a set of double doors.

The space in front of her opened up into Honeymaren's bedroom. It was clean, white; much like the rest of the apartment. There were white sheets on the bed. The furniture was made from reclaimed wood, but most importantly; there were books- an entire wall filled with them.

"Oh wow!" Elsa tried to follow her eyes.

Honeymaren stopped her by nudging Elsa forward. "There's time for that later, nerd."

Rolling her eyes, she giggled. Once again Elsa allowed herself to be led from one room and up a short set of stairs.

Ryder was seated on the carpet in front of them. He had surrounded himself with toys and books. As Elsa moved toward him she suddenly gasped. Above Ryder's bed was a hand-painted mural of an enchanted forest.

"Did you do this?" she spun quickly.

Honeymaren shrugged and turned to hide her blush. "I might have…"

"You can paint! Why didn't I know that about you?" Elsa grinned. "It's really impressive!"

"No more compliments, Snowflake. My ego can't take it."

Ignoring her, Elsa's hand trailed along the mural before she came to sit beside Ryder. "I guess I'll just have to slip my glasses back on and hang out down here with your son, then…"

She was baiting Honeymaren. Elsa knew it, and for some reason she wasn't afraid. It was different with her. Honeymaren made her feel comfortable, confident, and most importantly; for once in her life, Elsa felt in control.

Her thoughts pulled away from Honeymaren when Ryder sat down in her lap. He had a book between his hands. He handed it to her. Elsa happily accepted and flipped to the first page.

"As much as I'd love to stay and watch this adorable display in front of me… I have to go start his dinner." She leaned down and kissed Elsa over the top of Ryder's head. "I've ordered food for us for later."

"Sounds nice…" Elsa smiled, watching her go. She waited until Honeymaren disappeared down the stairs before starting Ryder's book.

Minutes later, and no sooner than Elsa had finished reading to him; Ryder jumped up from her lap. On unsteady legs, he teetered across his room. He dropped to his belly and giggled as he slid down the padded stairs. Elsa laughed. She was left to follow him as he near-sprinted across the living room.

"Mama!" he shouted in greeting.

Elsa slowed as she approached the kitchen. She rounded the counter and her heart lurched painfully in her chest.

"Are you alright?" she asked, freezing against her feet.

Honeymaren was lifting Ryder from the floor. Her face shielded into his neck. Elsa stopped at the edge of the counter with her hand gripped around the ledge.

Honeymaren turned to face her and drew in a deep breath. "I'm fine…" she leveled calmly, feigning a grin.

Her eyes were red with unshed tears, and her breathing; slightly labored.

Lowering her brows, Elsa tilted her head. "Are you sure… because nothing about this screams alright to me."

Honeymaren laughed. "No, I'm really okay… I'm just- I'm having a hard time understanding why you're here…"

"Oh." Elsa stiffened.

Panic sizzled across her skin. She quickly pushed it aside and stepped towards Honeymaren.

"You don't think I want to be?" she asked.

Shaking her head, Honeymaren met her eyes. "No, it's the complete opposite, really… I know you want to be here, and that's what doesn't make any sense."

As the timer beeped over the stove, Elsa flinched. Her hand had been lowering to settle over Honeymaren's arm. She touched her anyway, stopping Honeymaren before she could walk away.

"I've got it." Elsa promised.

Using the mit beside the store, Elsa pulled out the baking tray. She dished the mini pot pie into Ryder's bowl and returned it to the counter.

Honeymaren's arms laced around Ryder's back. She turned her head. Honeymaren wouldn't look at her.

"Tell me something…" Elsa whispered, coming to stand beside her. "Why are you surprised that I want to be here with you?"

She shrugged. Honeymaren grabbed the bowl from the counter, leaving Elsa to follow. She sat at the dining table and attempted to slide Ryder into his booster. He protested with a shout, clinging to Honeymaren's arms.

"Here," Elsa sat beside her. "Let me do this."

She took the bowl from Honeymaren's hand. Elsa lifted the spoon to her lips and carefully blew on the first bite. She held it out to Ryder who eyed her skeptically. Finally, he happily obliged. His mouth closed over the spoon and he hummed in contentment.

Elsa was smiling as she watched.

"This…" Honeymaren began softly. "-is what surprises me… That this is what you'd want to do with your Saturday night. You know I can't give the same things as a new, normal relationship, yet you're still here…"

Elsa turned to her, seeing Honeymaren frown. "Relationship?" she arched her brow. "Is that what this is to you?"

Honeymaren shook her head as humour bloomed on Elsa's face. "Well, when the coffee didn't buy you into bed with me like I'd been hoping it would… I figured I should meet you halfway."

She mocked a glare. Elsa leaned playfully into her arm. "Does that make me your girlfriend, then?"

Eyes briefly widening, Honeymaren reeled back. Elsa wasn't looking at her as she fed Ryder another bit of his dinner.

"Is, um, is it too soon? Is that what you want, because-"

"I kind of already thought I was…" Elsa shrugged. "-or at least I thought that's where we were heading."

Ryder grinned at Elsa. "Yum!" he cooed, and Elsa giggled at him with a slight turn of her head.

Honeymaren watched on. Her warm brown eyes traced thoughtfully over the side of Elsa's pale face.

"Girlfriend it is." she finally whispered.

Elsa nodded. Her attention fully lifted to Honeymaren. "-then as your girlfriend, it shouldn't come as such a surprise to you that this is exactly how I pictured spending my Saturday night."

"-but it's Halloween…" Honeymaren defended.

"And? I spent the day trick-or-treating with people I care about, and if I wasn't here right now; I'd be at home on my couch, grading papers or watching Netflix… Being here with you and Ryder sounds like the better option now, doesn't it?"

Her gaze fell as she went back to feeding Ryder. She could feel Honeymaren's gaze on her the entire time. Even when she finished, Honeymaren still stared. Elsa offered her a small smile before standing and moving over to the sink.

Honeymaren knew she should respond. It was rude not to. However, the words lingering on her lips were terrifying. It was too soon to say them; too soon to think them, even. It had Honeymaren wondering if she'd ever felt like this before.

Finally ready to face what she'd started, Honeymaren stood from the table with Ryder in her arms. She came to lean against the counter. Turning her eyes from Elsa's hands as she watched dishes up to her face; Honeymaren opened her mouth to speak.

"I-"

Her words cut off as the door to her apartment opened.

"Knock, knock!" someone shouted.

Elsa's hand froze under the hot water. Honeymaren spun fast.

"Na-na!" Ryder screeched.

He wriggled free from his mother's arms. Honeymaren placed him on his feet and watched as he took off running.

In the foyer stood an elder woman. She was wearing clean black slacks and a button down. Her eyes were cast downward as she scooped Ryder from the floor. Yet suddenly, her eyes drove wide when she looked back up.

"Oh my, I'm sorry…" the woman stepped into the light of the dining area. "I didn't know you were entertaining!"

"Mom, it's fine. This is Elsa… Elsa, this is my mother, Linnea."

Elsa worked to quickly dry her hands.

"This is Elsa- Elsa from our bet… and you have her doing dishes?" Linnea turned to glare at her daughter.

"I don't make her do anything," Honeymaren defended. "She's just stubborn like that."

Shaking her head, Elsa stepped forward. "It's nice to meet you, and please! Don't worry about the dishes… I really didn't give her a choice."

"Well listen, ladies. I didn't mean to intrude, but I am starting to understand why you asked for so much food from the restaurant…" Linnea smirked.

"Restaurant?" Elsa's head tilted.

"Mom co-owns a restaurant in the downtown area. She's a great chief." Honeymaren explained. She smiled at Elsa before going to retrieve the food from the foyer. "Actually you've already had her cooking."

"The orchestra?" Elsa laughed, her brow lifting.

"That sounds like Maren… always planning something…"

Honeymaren bumped her mother on the way by. She set the food down on the counter before returning to Elsa's side.

"Ry's just about to pass out here. Trick-or-treating got him worn out?" Linnea asked. Her hand soothed over Ryder's back.

"That, and Elsa just fed him. He'll be out for the night the second I put him down."

Linnea's expression turned stern once more. "You mean to tell me- Elsa fed your son, and then washed your dishes?" she tutted. "Child, I don't know who you think raised you… I don't know whether to scold you or convince you to make Elsa stay forever."

Honeymaren grit her teeth. She approached her mother and slipped Ryder from her arms.

"Thank you, mom, for the food… I really appreciate it."

Linnea could see she'd struck a nerve. However, she ignored it and kissed her daughter's head. "Alright… I'll stop my teasing and leave you both be. Elsa," she turned. "It was so nice to meet you."

"Lovely to meet you as well." Elsa smiled warmly.

She watched Linnea give her love to Ryder. She touched a finger to Honeymaren's chin before making her exit. After she left, though, Honeymaren's demeanor stayed the same. She busied herself in the kitchen, clutching Ryder to her chest, and ignoring Elsa's gaze.

Finally, Elsa had enough. She came to stand at Honeymaren's side as she wiped down the counter.

"I hope you're not taking what your mother said to heart. We just talked about this…"

Honeymaren didn't respond until Elsa's hand settled over hers. The rag on the counter stilled with her touch.

"I'm happy here; with you, and with Ryder." Elsa promised. Her finger tapped against Honeymaren's wrist. "Now, why don't you go change out of your costume and I'll take Ryder for a minute."

Her stare was pensive. Honeymaren seemed almost unwilling to allow Elsa to do anything else.

But finally, she sighed. "Would you mind getting him into his pajamas? They're still out on the couch."

"Of course." Elsa pulled Ryder from her arms.

He didn't protest. Even when Honeymaren turned from them and began walking away; Ryder stayed completely content in Elsa's hold.

"Hey…" she called to her, stopping Honeymaren from going too far.

Elsa curled her finger and beckoned her back. It was much like she had done to Elsa a week ago on their first date.

With eyes low, Honeymaren approached. Elsa watched her intently. Her stare was strict, but soft. When Honeymaren was in reaching distance, Elsa took a hand to her collar and pulled Honeymaren's lips onto hers. She kissed her with a tenderness that surprised them both. Breathless and scattered, they parted with a breath.

"I want to be here." Elsa told her when they parted. "Don't doubt that."

Stern facade breaking, Honeymaren smirked. "Okay, Snowflake. I believe you."

Honeymaren stole her lips once more before disappearing to her room. When she returned minutes later, her face had been scrubbed free from make up. She'd replaced her costume with sweatpants and a tank. Her hair was up in a bun.

Honeymaren smiled when she saw her and her son, snuggled on the couch and watching her. Elsa had managed to wrestle Ryder into his pajamas, and now he was near asleep on her chest.

While she stayed like that, Honeymaren delivered their food. Elsa smiled happily at the display.

"Tapas… you remembered."

Shaking her head. Honeymaren directed an olive to Elsa's lips. "Benefit of having a chief for a mother. She will make me whatever I want."

Elsa accepted the olive and hummed. "That certainly explains the homemade pizza now. I'm not sure I'd want delivery either; not if I was used to this." she motioned.

"Well here, let me take him so you can enjoy it." Honeymaren sat forward.

Elsa used a hand to stop her. "He's fine! You eat your food."

She scoffed, lowering her brows. "You just like the idea of being fed."

A strange noise in protest escaped her throat, but Elsa said nothing. Instead, she stole another olive from Honeymaren's plate.

"I think I'll make-do just fine on my own, thank you."

Sitting back, she watched Elsa closely. Honeymaren's eyes raised and she tilted her head. Whatever she was thinking, she decidedly kept it to herself. She allowed her mind to relax as she and Elsa enjoyed their meal.

A half hour later, Honeymaren returned from putting Ryder down. She found Elsa in the kitchen, transferring their leftovers into containers. Her back was to the hall when Honeymaren stepped into the room.

When she turned, her finger lifted. "Don't say a word." Elsa raised her brow.

"About you doing my dishes and cleaning up again… I wouldn't dare."

She was smirking, but the hurt from earlier had lingered. Elsa could see the hint of sorrow glazing her hazel eyes. It had her putting down the towel and coming to stand in front of Honeymaren.

"We should talk about earlier." Elsa prompted.

"What about?"

Seeing Honeymaren frown caused Elsa's hands to fidget at her waist. "I just want to make sure you're okay with this… all of this… and I want you to believe that I want to be here."

Honeymaren gently wiped the fallen hairs from her face. "Relax, Snowflake… I'm happy and thankful you're here."

She took her hand and gave it a gentle tug. Honeymaren was leading her back through the living area. Yet, she didn't stop there. She pulled Elsa into her bedroom and released their hands. Very quietly, she slid the door closed over the stairs, so as not to disturb Ryder while he slept.

When she turned around she found Elsa still standing in the doorway. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes; a little too wide to appear normal.

Honeymaren ignored her anxieties and flopped down on the bed. She fought a laugh when Elsa came to stand across from her. Her fingers were dancing together as she bit down on her lip.

"Honeymaren…" she whispered. Her voice sang with a hint of discomfort.

"Yes, Snowflake?" Honeymaren replied as she picked up the TV remote.

"I don't have my car here…" Elsa looked down at her hands. "I was wondering… did you want me to stay; am I supposed to stay?"

She put down the remote and turned to face her fully. "I figured you could… if you wanted to, or if not… there is this lovely app called Uber and-"

"I get it, I get it…" Elsa glared. "I just didn't want to misinterpret the plans for this evening, is all."

Laughing, Honeymaren reached forward and pulled Elsa onto the bed by her hand. "You think too much, do you know that?"

To Elsa's surprise, she wasn't led to Honeymaren's lips. Instead, she was given a pillow and directed into her lap. Wordlessly, Elsa allowed herself to relax. Gentle fingers combed through her hair as Honeymaren went back to scrolling through the TV.

Their predicament had Elsa feeling vulnerable. She never experienced anything like it. Her last relationship had been sporadic. It stayed as such until it's very predictable end. It was hard to throw herself over to the comfort she'd found with Honeymaren. Elsa still awaited the moment she did something wrong and it all went away.

But then Honeymaren's hand stilled against her hair. She left it there; sitting just above her ear. Elsa released a deep breath. She couldn't hold Honeymaren at fault for her insecurities while she was still dealing with ones of her own.

"Just so you know… I really hate horror movies." Elsa divulged, and Honeymaren laughed.

Her fingers started in Elsa's hair again. "I had a feeling you might. You don't strike me as a thriller kind of girl, you know… But I can promise you this- I will only make you join me once a year to watch them. Besides, who knows; maybe you'll find one you actually enjoy…"

"Doubtful, very doubtful…" Elsa hummed.

"Fine, stubborn. Just this once, and I won't bother you again until next year."

Elsa shivered. She pretended it was the gentle fingers combing through her hair which had her reacting that way; but she knew it wasn't. It was the woman attached to that hand, making commitments months for them for months from now. Elsa knew very little about her. However, what she did know about Honeymaren; she was starting to more-than-like.

Instead of overthinking, Elsa relaxed into her touch. She soundless sighed and began to watch the movie she hadn't realized started playing.

'Relaxed' did not last long, though. As day turned to night on screen, Elsa sat up. She arched back into the pillows. Elsa covered her eyes and turned from the TV.

"How can you stand this?" she asked ridiculously.

Honeymaren tugged the fingers away from Elsa's face. "It's the adrenaline… it's exciting."

"Exciting?" she shook her head. "The only thing I feel right now is terrified!"

Rolling her eyes, Honeymaren drew her closer. "Come here, you goof."

Elsa moved onto her side, and Honeymaren's arm wrapped around her hip. She carefully laid her check against Honeymaren's chest. Her head tilted and Elsa's lips drew coyly to the side.

"You planned this, didn't you?" she asked.

Honeymaren pushed the hair from Elsa's face. "I don't know what you're suggesting. This was my plan for the evening whether you joined me in it or not."

"Oh yeah?" her brow arched. "Who was the other woman you had to let down when I said yes, then?"

Elsa had said it so casually, Honeymaren pulled away to see her better. Elsa laughed. Feeling daring, she kissed Honeymaren quick before settling back down in her arms.

"Always surprising me…" Honeymaren turned her head and relaxed into the pillows.

Nearing the height of the movie, even as the tension steadily grew; Elsa was surprised to find she was rather enjoying the plot. She didn't care for the fear factor. That went without saying. However, there was something about being wrapped up in Honeymaren's arms that had her feeling safe. Elsa was warm and sated against the sheets. Content in her comfort, she couldn't think of a better way to spend an evening.

Suddenly, Elsa gasped. She sat up with a hand over her mouth. "No way! They were the ones doing the haunting the whole time?"

She turned to Honeymaren who laughed. "Yup, turns out both the living and the dead can scare each other in this one."

"Wow!" Elsa breathed. "What a strange concept… It almost makes me feel sorry for ghosts."

Elsa's lips pursed as she thought. In that moment, Honeymaren couldn't help but find her completely adorable. She smiled as Elsa tilted her head in contemplation and sat forward to face her.

"So… what are you thinking?" Honeymaren's lip tucked between her teeth. "Am I putting on another movie, or are we grabbing you an Uber? Well… not that you couldn't Uber after… I just wanted to give you an out now if you felt like you needed one…"

Elsa's shoulders shrugged into her ears. Her eyes diverted toward the ceiling. "As much as I am hating this horror movie trap you've got me in… I think I'll stay."

Her attention returned, and Honeymaren blinked. "Really?"

"Only if you want me to, of course."

She watched Elsa's cheeks darken. Honeymaren knew she should respond, but she stood instead. Actions were sometimes better than words, and she decided to prove that.

Wandering over to the dresser, she pulled out two items. Honeymaren came to stand in front of Elsa and handed them to her. "If the jeans are getting uncomfortable, you can wear these instead."

Elsa smiled as she accepted them.

Honeymaren could tell by the fading blush on the woman's face; that was the answer she had needed. "The bathroom is right through there."

She pointed to the door next to Ryder's room. Elsa soundlessly slid from the bed and retreated from her sight. Once alone, Elsa sighed. The lighting was dim, but she could easily see her reflection in the mirror.

As she stripped her shirt, Elsa looked down at her appearance. "She won't care. She won't care…" she internally voiced.

She slipped the grey hoodie over her head, and stepped into the thin cotton shorts. They slid up her bare legs with ease. The clothes smelt like Honeymaren. It was that same 'earthy but sweet' scent she always recognized when they were together. The aroma was, very noticeably, becoming one of Elsa's favorite things about her.

Breaking from the trance, she stared at herself once more. Elsa's makeup had faded. Her cheeks were permanently stained pink. As excited as she was to be here, Elsa couldn't fight the nerves that were quickly taking over.

She quickly splashed her face with cool water and stepped back with a deep breath.

"Be honest." she told herself. Her hand went to the door. "You've got this."

When Elsa returned, Honeymaren was seated on the edge of the bed. She was watching her curiously, appearing a little scared, even. Elsa wondered if Honeymaren thought she'd change her mind while she was gone. It was surprisingly comforting to know they both felt anxious about her staying here.

Honeymaren reached out her hand. Her fingers waggled, and Elsa slipped hers between them.

"Can I be honest with you about something before we get back into bed?" she tentatively asked.

"Of course," Honeymaren nodded. "I'm all ears…"

Jaw wavering, Elsa's grip on Honeymaren's hand tightened. "I-"

Her words suddenly cut off.

In the distance, a door was thrown open and bounced against its adjoining wall. The whole apartment shook with the force. Both Elsa and Honeymaren were startled still with their eyes held wide.

"Mare!" someone shouted.

Honeymaren's face paled.

"Shit." she barely mumbled. She pulled from Elsa's hand and walked to the door. "Please… Elsa… just- I need you to stay here for a minute."

* * *

_Cheers, _

_-M._


	14. Chapter 14

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen**

* * *

**Her hands clasped tight in her lap.** Elsa's wide eyes fixed to the door. Honeymaren had left it ajar, and she had to wonder if that had been done intentionally.

It was nearly impossible to focus on anything other than the voices beyond the wall. With each passing minute, their volume increased. The more-masculine tone sounded hostile. There was so much anger involved, though it was hard to hear specifics.

Elsa couldn't tell at one point if the two were getting closer, or if their argument had reached its peak. Bits and pieces of conversation began to resonate with her. She could hear Ryder's name being used most often.

She went from questioning their proximity, to full-on fearing it. A shadow moved behind the crack in the door. Elsa's first instinct was to hide. Yet, that felt silly in the grand scheme of things. She wasn't doing anything wrong. Instead, she tucked back into the bed. Her knees tucked against her chest. Elsa could hear every word being said now, and with it; her own anger blossomed in place of fear.

"Don't touch that door!" It was Honeymaren. Her tone was sharp, and Elsa imagined her expression looked about the same.

"Come on now, baby… It's a holiday. Don't be like that…"

They were right outside the room. Elsa could hear the masculine voice sing with a cockiness that stung.

"I will not repeat myself. You had the option to take him tonight and you turned it down!"

The man laughed. "Now you are punishing me for working? My lawyer will love that one…"

"And how will your lawyer feel when they learn you showed up at my apartment uninvited?" Honeymaren countered.

"There's nothing that says I can't be here-"

"Not yet, anyway…"

Sudden movement caught Elsa's eyes. The shadow moved closer to the door.

"Is that a threat?" The man demanded.

"How is that any different than you threatening me with your lawyer?"

Elsa caught a glimpse of brown hair between the door and its frame. Honeymaren had her back to it. She was using herself as a barrier, and Elsa instantly wondered if things could get physical.

"This is ridiculous, Mare! Why does it always have to be like this between us? Just let me see my son and let's be done with it. You can't keep him from me!"

Beyond the stairs, Ryder whined. Their shouting had no-doubt stirred him.

"No, you cannot. One, because he's asleep. Two, because we have a schedule, and it's not fair to punish either of us when you break an agreement. And three, because both of us know you're not sober!"

He scoffed.

"Don't deny it!" Honeymaren scolded. "I've always been able to tell with you."

"I haven't been drinking… if that's what you're suggesting."

"You know, I really don't care what 'it' is… I will not let you see Ryder like this."

As if on queue, Ryder's tiny cries grew louder. The yelling continued, and Elsa had to assume Honeymaren couldn't hear him. Slowly, she tiptoed from the bed. She reached the door and quietly slid it open.

The light from the downstairs bedroom seemed to provoke him further. Ryder stood at the center of his crib and began to wail. In an instant, Elsa sheltered him in her arms. She settled in the rocking chair and gently tried to soothe him back to sleep.

Downstairs the yelling persisted. However, so did Ryder's tears. The louder his parents fought, the harder he cried. His tiny hand clung to Elsa's collar as she rocked him.

"This is pointless now! The kid's awake… let me fucking see him!"

"He's awake because you woke him up!" Honeymaren sounded near tears.

Hands fought for the door handle, and Elsa finally saw the man she'd dreaded to meet.

He stood at the base of the stairs appearing winded. Honeymaren was quick on his tail and caught his arm with her hand. He pulled roughly away from her as he ascended the stairs. He flicked on the light and his eyes suddenly drove wide.

"Who are you?" His angry tone was thick.

Elsa's hand covered Ryder's head. "I'm a friend of Honeymaren's."

He stared blankly at her for a minute. Taking advantage of his distracted state, Honeymaren pushed past him. She stationed herself in front of Elsa and cast a dark glare at her ex.

"Wait a minute, I recognize her…" he pointed. "That's the chick from the coffee shop- the one you said you didn't know!"

"Yeah well, I lied…" Honeymaren snarled.

Hearing his mother, Ryder's cries worsened. He fought from Elsa's arms as he tried to get to her. Honeymaren turned with a sigh. She briefly met Elsa's eyes and pulled Ryder onto her hip.

Elsa came to stand beside her. The lines in the man's forehead seemed to stretch while she did.

"What's going on here?" he pointed between them.

"It's none of your business, Ricco!" she turned Ryder to face him. "Now, as you can see, Ryder is here. He's upset and tired, and it's time for you to go."

Ricco looked between Elsa and Honeymaren. His dark eyes grew with intensity. "All you had to say was you had a guest over, Mare…" he smiled and his anger quickly faded. "I'm a reasonable guy. I would have left straight away…"

His hands hid cockily in his pockets. Honeymaren stroked Ryder's back and his cries began to soften. She said nothing in reply, but Elsa still felt Ricco was known for his dishonesty.

"Anyway, don't worry about tonight…" he grinned. "We'll get together soon. I have Ryder on the fourteenth, but I'm sure I'll see you before then…" Ricco winked.

Elsa didn't like the way he looked at Honeymaren. It was aggressive, and it worked to prove as if he expected something from her by being there. Elsa's own face remained passive when Ricco turned to her.

"It was lovely to meet you, ma'am." He mocked a salute. "Ladies…"

Ricco sang before spinning to the stairs. His shoulders pulled straight and he left their sight. Honeymaren didn't move until she heard the door slam behind him.

"Here, take him."

Ryder was easily transferred into Elsa's arms. Near asleep, he didn't mind when his mother walked away. Honeymaren's disappearance, however, caused Elsa to frown.

She idly bounced Ryder in her hold. His eyelids weighed heavy and he gave a slow blink. In a short minute Ryder was dozing once more. His head lolled, and Elsa replaced him in the crib.

Stepping back, she looked down at him. His lip wedged between his teeth. The top of his brown head was mused, and his cheeks were red. Very gently, Elsa covered him with his blanket before turning around.

Her heart lurched at once.

Honeymaren had appeared in the doorway. Her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes followed up to Elsa's from the floor.

"Sorry…" she whispered. "I was locking up. Is he asleep?"

Elsa nodded. Honeymaren waved her out of the room and turned the light off behind them. Once down stairs, she closed the door. Elsa hadn't made it far from her. She stood before Honeymaren with her hands wrung at her waist.

Honeymaren's lips pulled to the side. Elsa didn't appear angered by the intrusion; only frightened. The sight triggered Honeymaren to sigh.

"Elsa, look, I'm sorry…" she began.

Shaking her head, Elsa raised a single hand. "Why are you apologizing to me? Nothing that just happened here is your fault."

"No, see, _this_ was the part of my life I was trying to keep you out of!"

Elsa frowned. "I don't think it works that way. I'm either in your life, or I'm not."

Her hands dragged through her hair. Most of the vibrant coloring in Honeymaren's face had paled with stress. "There's nothing enjoyable about this! Can't you see that?"

"I didn't say it was enjoyable… I said it wasn't your fault." Elsa's lips pursed in frustration.

"But it is my fault! I caused this, and now it's you who has to witness the world of shit I've created for myself! And you're scared! I know you are… I can tell. Ricco scared you, and god! He scares me too now. But the point is… I have to feel like this. You don't! You don't have to deal with this garbage, and it would be so much easier on me if you'd just leave and forget all about this!"

Elsa's eyes widened. "-this, as in… forget about _us_?"

She got her answer when Honeymaren averted her gaze.

"You don't want that." Elsa defended.

"No. You're right. I don't… but the alternative hurts, too." Her brown eyes glazed slightly as Honeymaren dropped to the foot of the bed.

Elsa tentatively sat beside her. "How does sharing this part of your life with me hurt you?"

Shrugging, Honeymaren's hands clasped in her lap. "It doesn't paint the best picture of me… It's embarrassing! I know once it's all out there in the open, you'll want to leave me anyway…"

Elsa drew in a short breath. "The alternative is never telling me and there always being a rift between us."

With a thud, Honeymaren fell onto her back. Looking up at the ceiling, she covered her face with her hands and groaned. "Can't we go back to how things were an hour ago?"

Laughing softly, Elsa relaxed onto her side. "I wish we could, but unfortunately that wouldn't help us solve any of this."

"You mean there's more to deal with than just my stupid ex?" her neck stretched to see Elsa better.

Elsa thought back to their conversation prior to Ricco's arrival. It seemed so far away now. Suddenly Elsa was no longer concerned for herself, and instead more worried about Honeymaren. Her reaction to this new relationship was beginning to make sense in Elsa's mind. If she could help Honeymaren through her own insecurities, she might be more open to accepting hers.

"First of all, I'm still under the impression you don't want me to help out around here… that's something we're going to need to work on."

"What do you mean?" Honeymaren frowned.

Elsa drew higher up on the bed. Honeymaren did the same until they were facing.

"Allowing me to do dishes or help with Ryder… you can't be beating yourself up everytime it happens. That's who I am. It's what I do. There's no stopping me now, but there's also no sense in causing yourself guilt because of it. If I didn't want to support you or help you, I wouldn't be here." Elsa explained.

Her brows still held low. "Okay…" Honeymaren sang, unconvinced.

"I need you to meet me halfway with that, alright? If you feel I'm overstepping, tell me; but also be prepared to deal with me trying to make your life a little bit easier while I'm here."

"I'm not used to receiving help, is all…" Honeymaren's eyes fell to the mattress. "-my mother, sure, but I try not to inconvenience her anymore than necessary. It makes accepting help from people really hard."

Elsa shifted slightly. "I can see that. You are very stubborn… but what do you think- can you at least try?"

Honeymaren bit down on her lip. "I will."

"Good!" Elsa smiled. "See, and that's one conversation out of the way."

Groaning, Honeymaren tipped her head back. "Oh god! How much more is there?" she teased.

Seeing the spark of humor in her brown eyes had Elsa's expression tightening. She smirked and tilted her head. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to…"

"No, no… go on, Snowflake… I trust you. You were right, this is the right thing to do."

Her face softened. Very cautiously Elsa reached out and laid her hand over Honeymaren's wrist. "I would like you to tell me about him- about your ex… only what you want to, of course; but I need you to help me understand."

She could see Honeymaren fighting it. Her eyes moved in time with her layered thoughts. Her skin grew warmer beneath Elsa's touch.

"I promise," she squeezed Honeymaren's arm. "I'll still be here when you're done. If something bothers me, we can talk about it then."

The edges of her lips curled a fraction higher. "Quite the conversationalist, aren't we?"

"Surprisingly, no…" Elsa laughed. "-but I find I am really enjoying talking to you."

Honeymaren's heart skipped a beat. Her eyes briefly widened before she shook herself back to calm.

"Okay," she nodded and sat up. "I'll tell you… I just-" Honeymaren's hands dragged through her hair. "-just give me a minute."

She stood from the bed. Elsa rose to sit cross-legged, her eyes following Honeymaren to the door. She watched her leave the room. Beyond the wall, Elsa could hear her moving about the kitchen. She wondered, curiously, what Honeymaren was doing, but she stayed seated until her return.

When she did, Honeymaren came bearing a serving tray. There were two hot mugs of tea and a small bowl of M&Ms. Elsa grinned at her thoughtfulness.

"And you say I'm always surprising you…" she reached forward and snatched one.

"Well, a serious conversation calls for serious snacks."

"M&Ms are a serious snack?" Elsa giggled.

"They're more serious than goldfish…"

Rolling her eyes, Elsa plopped another M&M on her tongue. "I do take my chocolate _very_ seriously... I will give you that much."

Honeymaren took her tea between her hands and straightened into the pillows. Her knees drew tight against her chest. She was looking down at her mug when Elsa's soft eyes found the side of her face.

"Whenever you're ready." she encouraged Honeymaren after a few moments of silence.

Honeymaren's mouth tipped to respond, but finding the words was suddenly difficult. "I- I know… I'm just not sure where I should begin."

Elsa sat back against the headboard with her own tea. She wedged the mug between her knees and placed a gentle hand on Honeymaren's thigh. "I'm not going to judge you, you know?"

"I do know… but I also think telling you this will change how you look at me."

Frowning, Elsa's head turned strictly to her. "How do I look at you now?" she asked.

Honeymaren shrugged. "I don't know… like you're trying to read me; like I interest you in some way…"

"You don't think I'll still find you interesting if you tell me about your ex?"

"No," she scoffed. "You'll still find me interesting, but for all the wrong reasons, I'm sure of it."

Elsa didn't question her further. She needed Honeymaren to be honest with her. Following each diversion wasn't going to lead them there, and so Elsa's attention turned back to her hands.

After another minute in silence, Honeymaren sighed. She quickly sipped her tea before she finally began…

"Today at the Halloween party, you kind of already got to hear about how I grew up… but it was more than Kristoff and I led on… You see, before my mom moved here, she had a place closer to the city. And it was still pretty suburban, despite how close we were to downtown.

"Anyway, that neighborhood was the place to be growing up. There were so many kids around mine and Ryder's age. In the summers we'd leave the house in the morning, and we wouldn't come back home until after dark. At first, our little neighborhood group started with four or five of us, but soon; there were enough kids to make up two hockey teams… we were kind of a hockey cult back then."

She laughed at her own joke and her hands flexed around the mug. "That's how we all got started in it, really. One kid got a hockey stick for his birthday, and then we were all saving to get one…

"Unlike my brother, though, hockey came naturally to me. As soon as I started playing, I was getting all this attention. Everyone wanted to be my friend or have me teach them tricks… It was fun, but as I got older, it became less about my skill and more about my gender instead. Guys would line up to take me down in 'one on one' games. It became a neighborhood challenge of sorts; who can beat Maren Nattura…"

Honeymaren's shoulders visibly tightened. Elsa caught the movement out of the corner of her eye and turned to face her better.

"No one had ever beaten me before; not until Ricco." Honeymaren continued. "I was a sophomore at the time, and Ricco was a senior on the Northuldra Knights team. His reward for beating me… was a date- by his prompting, too; not mine. It was flattering at first to be sixteen and dating the most popular guy in school, but then he graduated.

"From there, it was a series of breakups and makeups. He'd cheat on me with college girls; get drunk and sleep with whoever… I was young, though. Everytime it happened I'd just sit around and wait for his return. It was the same stupid cycle I found myself in until my senior year."

She sighed, finger tapping against the brim of her cup. "By that point, I was ready to break up with him. I told myself if he wasn't going to change, I needed to end it. I was missing so much of my life being his fallback… When I finally gained the courage to do what needed to be done; it was the same night Ricco was expelled from college. He was caught using steroids, and without his hockey scholarship, he was no longer allowed to attend school. Suddenly instead of cheating on me, everything became all about me…

"I was finally receiving all of his attention again… perhaps the college girls weren't interested in a failure, while I was too young to care… but losing that scholarship really messed him up. It changed Ricco. He stopped hanging out with the hockey kids and found a different crowd to spend his time with. He started selling drugs… getting into trouble… And I made excuses for him because I honestly felt bad. I guess I thought I could change him, but that seems silly now, doesn't it?"

Honeymaren met Elsa's eyes. "That doesn't sound silly at all…"

She quickly turned from her. Honeymaren's cheeks burned with embarrassment, but she continued anyway. "Well, as it turns out… I couldn't change him, and I let all this go on into my college years. The cheating began again, and I buried myself into my school work. We lived together, and at some point I realized I'd forgotten how to fight. I'd been in the habit of always losing and being overpowered… I became weak while things continued to spiral out of control…

"And my life was so out of control, I couldn't hide it anymore. I had to get help and my mom found me a great therapist. I was turning twenty-one and I finally was able to leave him. I got my own apartment and I just walked out. And it was easier than I expected, too. Ricco never even noticed for months, or if he did, he didn't care.

"I went just over a year without seeing him… one whole year… and then I backslid, _hard. _I saw Ricco at a party. He looked healthy and he was apologetic and sweet… all it took was one time- one time, and I was pregnant, and I'd done to some poor girl what had been done to me countless times over before."

Her voice trailed off. Honeymaren sipped her tea before she sighed. "He never cared that I was pregnant. And I am so thankful for that… Ricco never showed up for my brother's funeral. I never saw him again until Ry was three months old. I never asked him for a dime, nor wanted him involved in any way. But suddenly, that was all he wanted. And I felt I owed it to him somehow. I mean, Ryder was his son after all. But Ricco never cared about Ryder, no… He liked how having a son made him look.

"But for Ryder's sake, I let his father be involved. Early on, I thought I could handle all the scheduling, but then Ricco started making mistakes. He'd forget Ryder places… people's houses, in the car… He'd bring him to places infants should be… It took me too long to learn to fight for myself. I refused to let Ryder down the same way. So, eight months ago, I turned to the court. I petitioned for full custody. Unfortunately though… Ricco turned around and did the same…"

Elsa drew in a short breath. Her eyes were wide. "Honeymaren, I- I could have never-"

"It's fine." she cut her off. "I don't need you to say anything."

Honeymaren wasn't looking at her. With her knees tucked and her arms wrapped around them, Honeymaren looked very small; vulnerable, even.

"-but I'd like to say something, if you'll let me?" Elsa whispered.

Honeymaren barely nodded. Her eyes continued to shy away from Elsa's.

"I was saying, I couldn't have imagined you were going through all that… nor Ryder. You've done a great job raising him, and making life as normal as possible for you both. I didn't know… and I couldn't have guessed- what I'm trying to say is, I'm really proud of you.

"Proud of me?" her brows lowered and her head snapped to Elsa.

"Yes, proud of you." she stated matter of factly. "I think you've done an amazing job holding things together for Ryder's sake- despite everything else you have going on. I mean, look at it this way…" Elsa folded her legs and turned to Honeymaren. "You have a fulltime job; an education. You take Ryder to school and pick him up everyday. And everynight, he is fed, and well, might I add… You put Ryder's life before your own, and so, yeah… I am proud of you."

Shaking her head, Honeymaren looked away. "I just do the best I can…"

"And since when is your best not good enough?" Elsa asked and scooted closer.

When Honeymaren's head lifted, Elsa's breathing stalled. She was surprised to see silent tears had started their descent down her tan cheeks.

"-because it never feels like it is…" her words cut off as she tried to turn away.

Elsa took Honeymaren's face gently between her hands. Her thumbs stroked beneath brown eyes. "Trust me when I say, your best is good enough, Honeymaren. Don't doubt that."

Leaning forward, Elsa's lips softly touched hers. She kissed her until Honeymaren was kissing back. Then when her tears turned to cries, Elsa held her. She pulled back into the pillows and stroked Honeymaren's hair. Elsa held her until her tears subsided, and until Honeymaren had fallen into a deep and peaceful sleep.

* * *

_Cheers,_

_M. _


	15. Chapter 15

_**Cold Secrets **_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

* * *

_**A/N: **It's a short one... have it early as a gift from me to you._

* * *

**Warmth surged across her skin. **From the tips of her toes to the crown of her head, everything enveloped in heat. It was comforting. There was a peacefulness to the sensation for which Elsa had not experienced in a long time.

As she dozed, everything in that moment was perfect. Well, nearly perfect. Something prodded the side of her ribs, she noticed. Elsa tried to shift away, but she was stopped by the edge of the bed.

Her eyes reopened at once. The room before her was dim. The nightlight on the far wall was the only bit of illumination the room had to offer. Elsa rubbed her eyes and turned to find what had woken her. When she did, she was forced to stifle a laugh.

Tiny bare toes had wedged into her side. Ryder lay at the center of the bed, splayed out like a starfish as he slept. His curls matted with sweat. Drool dripped down from the curl of his lips, but he looked content in whatever dream state he'd found himself in.

_But how had he gotten there?_

Eyes suddenly wide, Elsa looked across from her. Honeymaren was there and very much awake. She was propped up on an elbow watching her bedmates doze. A slow, uncertain smile crept over her cheeks. Her brown eyes found Elsa's and they quickly looked away before coming back to find her once more.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered. A steady blush drew up from Honeymaren's chest. "I meant to say something last night… I- Ryder usually wakes up early and then goes back to sleep with me for a few hours."

It certainly wasn't the strangest way to have woken up. Anna had always been one for morning dramatics. However, there was a child asleep beside Elsa; a child who wasn't her niece. Should she feel uncomfortable or out of place, perhaps? Honeymaren wasn't looking at her, but Elsa felt her hesitating had more to do with their conversation from the night prior; than it did her son for being snuggled between them.

Covering her mouth, Elsa yawned. She rolled onto her side, mindful of Ryder's toes. "It's fine. At least he doesn't snore…"

"Ah… but he does." Honeymaren sang. "-like a train, or a forty year old man."

Elsa giggled. "He sleeps like a man, too… just like my younger sister."

Honeymaren smiled and sat up. "Yeah, sorry… he's a bit of a bed hog, that child of mine." She watched Elsa shrug before stretching her legs. "Coffee?" Honeymaren asked, her brows arching high.

"Please," she nodded, and slid to the edge of the bed.

On bare feet, she followed Honeymaren out of the bedroom. She shut the door quietly behind them and led her into the kitchen. While Honeymaren prepared the coffee pot, Elsa sat herself at the counter. She watched Honeymaren fidget as she drew mugs down from the cabinets. Her thoughts were elsewhere, and Elsa wished she knew how to pull them back.

Hot coffee began to trickle down through the filter. Honeymaren sighed, knowing all that was left to do was wait. She turned back to Elsa. Her cautious gaze met the blue eyes following her. With her fingers laced against her stomach, Honeymaren's attention fell to her feet, and she slowly approached Elsa.

As Elsa's bare toes came into view, she looked back up. Honeymaren offered her an uncomfortable smile and her shoulders tucked into her ears.

"Look… I have to say- I am so sorry about last night…" Elsa's mouth tipped to respond, but Honeymaren charged on. "I meant for it to be a fun 'not date' date, and it ended up a disaster! I really couldn't have planned for Ricco to show up here… He's so unpredictable these days, and I'm sorry it ruined everything, and that I got emotional or... _whatever_… None of that was fair to you."

Elsa's brows lifted coyly. "I don't know about all that… I still had fun." she smiled. "I mean, of course there were a few blips, perhaps, but I still enjoyed myself… I had a nice dinner. I watched a terrible movie with my girlfriend, and I got to know her better… I don't think anything was ruined, so why do you?"

Gently, Elsa's fingers pinched at the hem of her shirt. Seeing them there forced Honeymaren to meet her eyes. "I- I'm worried I'm causing you too much stress… Everytime you spend time with me it's like a trip to the circus!"

Honeymaren dryly laughed. She looked away and stepped back from Elsa's hands.

"What I said last night, I meant it." Elsa's voice lifted in retort. "I'm not overwhelmed, nor am I bothered by the things you shared with me. I'm proud of you, and I think that's reason enough to see where this goes."

Groaning, Honeymaren allowed her head to tip backwards. "Please, don't make me cry again! I hate it! I was never a crier before I had Ryder…"

Elsa giggled softly. "Fine, I won't say anything else… but I do have a request."

"What's that?" she slightly frowned.

"Kiss me…" Elsa beckoned her closer. "-and then finish making my coffee."

Honeymaren couldn't fight her grin, nor the not-so-subtle roll of her eyes. As she stepped between Elsa's knees, her hands splayed against the trim waist before her. Honeymaren lowered to Elsa, slowly. She touched their lips together before drawing back a hair to do it again. Elsa seemed to have followed her forward. Pale fingers threaded through Honeymaren's hair, holding her still. The third time their lips met, both women arched into it with all their weight. Honeymaren's hands tighten in their hold, and Elsa sighed happily against her.

"That was two requests, by the way." Honeymaren smirked as they parted.

"Was it?" Elsa hummed. "Anyway, we both know you wouldn't deny me my coffee…"

Honeymaren kissed her once more before returning to tend to their mugs. "You're right about that, Snowflake… I would never dare."

* * *

"-and she bought me my favorite coffee- which she hates, and doesn't even drink!"

Elsa's legs were crossed as she sat on Anna's couch. She hadn't made it home that Sunday yet. Still dressed in Honeymaren's sweatshirt and her jeans from the day before; Elsa took a detour to her sister's house instead. Her mind reeled with everything she'd been through that evening- both exciting and frightening in recall.

And Anna, all too eager, was across from her and absolutely ready to hear more.

"Stop it! I am loving this! Aren't you loving this?" her head snapped to Kristoff who sat with Millie on the floor.

"I'm loving it... " he tried, but lacked the same enthusiasm.

"Ignore him!" Anna huffed. "So, keep going! Was it perfect? I bet it was perfect!"

"Everything was… nearly perfect…" Elsa cringed. "There was an… unexpected visitor."

Eyes widening, Anna leaned forward. "Oh! Do tell!"

As Elsa began her retelling, she noticed Kristoff turning away. His face grew pensive, almost stern. The seriousness of his expression only thickened when she brought up Honeymaren's Ex's name.

"Do you remember, Ricco?" Elsa asked. Her head tilted curiously to the side.

"Of course… everyone knew Ricco."

"Uhoh!" Anna's face scrunched. "Why do I get the feeling like you don't like this guy?"

Ignoring his wife, Kristoff shifted. He leaned against his raised knee. "-like him or not… that still doesn't explain- Maren and Rico were married?"

Elsa shook her head. "If you're referring to the Ryder situation... no. It sounds like he was an accident- a happy one; but unplanned all the same."

His frown deepened. "I never understood how Maren dated him for as long as she did. Ricco was a talented hockey player, but a dick nonetheless."

"He looked like one…" Elsa noted. "-acted like one, too. He's petitioning for full-custody after not having had any interest in Ryder for months. I guess he's got a bad track record going when caring for him, too; even now that he is involved."

"Yeah, if he's acting the same as he did after high school… I wouldn't trust Millie within ten feet." Kristoff scoffed.

"Yikes! Sounds like you have a personal vendetta against this Ricco guy…" Anna's eyes lowered.

Kristoff shrugged and looked to the floor. "Like I said… everyone knew Ricco… everyone had issues with him, too. While I was away at school he and his friends broke into my parent's house. They stole some stuff and tried pawning it off for drug money."

"Honeymaren did make it sound like he might still be on them…" Elsa added.

"Poor Maren…" Anna pouted, her lip touching her chin. "She should use that against him in court!"

"I'm sure she knows too," Elsa's shoulders pulled into her ears. "-but we didn't talk much about the court situation. Sharing the rest of it with me made her… _pretty_ _emotional_."

"I bet!" Sighing, Anna leaned back into the couch. "I mean, think about it… Maren's got this whole hot, single mom, 'I can take on the world' facade going for her. I would have never known she was dealing with all this!"

"And it should stay that way!" Elsa raised a pointed finger at her sister. "We haven't been dating all that long. I don't want her to think she can't trust me because _you_ have a big mouth!"

"I resent that." Anna deadpanned, and then cracked a grin. "I won't say anything! I promise! Your secrets are safe with me."

Both Elsa and Kristoff's eyes lowered to her.

"What?" Anna fought, but they turned to look away.

"Okay! Let's forget about this Ricco guy for a minute… let's go back to the 'new relationship' bit… So, you're dating now- like _really_ dating?" Anna's lips continued to stretch.

"Yes…" Elsa blushed. "It's officially official."

Anna squealed and kicked her legs in the air. "Ah! This is so great! Tell me, when are you going to see her again?"

Laughing, Elsa rolled her eyes. "Tomorrow at work would be my guess."

"No! Not like that! When are you guys going to go on another date? Are you going to have sex- wait! Did you already have sex? Oh my god, how was it?"

"Anna, Anna! Please!" she batted her hands and her face clouded with embarrassment. "We haven't planned anything else yet, and no… with everything that happened, we didn't, um, get to that…"

Quickly jumping up from the couch, Anna squeezed Elsa tight between her arms. "This is so exciting! I need to get my calendar! We have to start planning our first double date!"

She ran from the room faster than anyone could blink. Both Elsa and Kristoff laughed to themselves. He gave a playful roll of his eyes before scooting closer to his sister-in-law.

"So Elsa…" he sang awkwardly.

"So Kristoff…"

He cleared his throat, stretching his neck. "I just wanted to say, I am happy for you and Maren. You both deserve a shot at something good, and I think this could really workout… but," Kristoff frowned.

Elsa's eyes lowered. "Tell me..."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I just want to ask… for your own sake… stay away from Ricco if you can help it, alright? You don't need to be involved with a guy like him. It's not safe, and especially after everything else you've already been through..."

Her mouth opened to respond as Anna ran back into the room.

"What did I miss?" she beamed.

"Not much." Kristoff smiled at her. "I was just telling Elsa I'm happy she and Maren got together."

"I agree!" Anna sat beside her sister. She nudged her softly, but the smile Elsa returned felt weak at best.

* * *

_Cheers,_

_-M._


	16. Chapter 16

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

* * *

"**I think I'm getting a raise!"**

As the door was thrown open, excitement barreled into the small office. Elsa barely turned from her desk when soft lips planted against her own. A coffee cup wedged itself between her fingers and the kiss quickly ended. Honeymaren dropped into the chair across from her, smiling like mad.

"-a raise?" Elsa returned her grin, feeling her elation spike. "How did that happen?"

"There's been some shuffling on the school board, I guess." Honeymaren explained. "Someone retired; someone new is taking their place- they made a massive donation to boost electronic resources in the library, and guess who they're interested in for the job?"

Elsa pretended to think. "You?" she teased, and passed Honeymaren a glass container and fork.

"That's right!" she popped the container open. "I'll be meeting with the literary head later this afternoon!"

Her smile hadn't faltered. It hurt as it continued to grow. "You deserve it, Honeymaren. I'm proud of you!"

Per usual, Honeymaren brushed off the compliment. She shrugged modestly and turned her attention to her lunch. As she looked down at it, Honeymaren shook her head.

"You know, for someone who was turning me down a month ago… you've taken to this girlfriend thing quite well."

Elsa's brow arched. Her fork suspended before her lips. "Oh yeah, how so?" she asked.

She took a bite of her salad and leaned back into her chair. Elsa's arms folded playfully as she watched Honeymaren mimic her movements.

"For starters, you're so domestic now… bringing lunch to go with our coffee…" winking, she took a sip for show. "-and second… a month ago you were turning me down, and now look at you- you're not even fighting it! You like me..."

Rolling her eyes, Elsa spun so her back faced Honeymaren. She took another bite of her salad before placing it on the desk. Her hand went to the computer mouse.

Honeymaren groaned as Elsa tossed her a glare over her shoulder.

"Come on!" she boasted. "I was being nice!"

"You were teasing me!" Elsa fought, bringing her attention back to the computer. "I can stop offering to make us lunch, you know- or stop inviting you here at all."

It was silent for a moment, but Elsa sensed her movement. Warm lips ghosted across her collar and up her neck.

"But then who would be here to keep you company?"

Honeymaren's words caused Elsa to shiver as they breezed against her ear. She shrugged her off and spun to face her. "I'm sure I could find someone."

"I never doubted that… the real trouble will be narrowing down your takers." Honeymaren moved away from her. She crossed her legs and contemplated her thoughts over another bite. "If you make food like this all the time- your line of suitors will lead all the way down the hall and across the courtyard."

Elsa hummed. "Well, I do have my standards."

"Of course," Honeymaren gleamed. "-so anyone with a penis is out."

"True, and that should narrow the list down to about half."

"Any other requests?"

Lips pursing, Elsa touched a finger to her chin. "I'm partial to brown hair and eyes…"

"Oh yeah?" Honeymaren asked. "What else?"

"They have to like books, of course."

"Well, you have to have things to talk about…" Honeymaren's tone rang thick with sarcasm. "-but go on… The line is still looking pretty long."

Elsa thought again. Her eyes circled the ceiling. "It'd be easier if they worked here… you know, so we can spend more time together… and if they had kids, I wouldn't mind that either…"

"Let me get this straight…" Honeymaren's expression grew stern. "You're looking for a new lunch partner who works here at the school, has a kid, likes books, and has brown hair and brown eyes…"

"You forgot the bit about the penis…" Elsa pointed with a short smirk.

Shaking her head, Honeymaren reeled in a deep breath. "That's a tall order…"

Her face playfully scrunched. "You don't think I can find someone like that?"

"Unfortunately, Snowflake, I think I'm the only one on campus who checks all of those boxes."

"Hmm, you might be right." Elsa shrugged. "Oh well, I guess you can stay, then."

Honeymaren caught her eye before she burst out laughing. "You are something else, I hope you know that!"

"Hopefully something good, at least."

Rolling towards her, Honeymaren snagged Elsa behind the neck. "-something very good, Snowflake." She arched over Elsa's lap and kissed her quickly. "-something very, _very_ good."

Her cheeks burned beneath pink. When she was released, Elsa shied her face behind her salad, and distracted her erratic heart with another bite.

Watching her, Honeymaren was forced to grin at Elsa's fast transition from confident to shy. The effect she appeared to have on her was maddening. Honeymaren felt flattered, but also a little concerned. Knowing she was developing something with Elsa, beyond what she'd anticipated; it was both frightening and exciting.

"Do you have plans after work?" she found herself suddenly asking.

Elsa looked up from her salad. The edges of her lips began to curl. "That depends, why are you asking?"

Honeymaren nonchalantly shrugged. "I know it's a work night… but I usually do some baking on Thursdays so I have something to send to Ryder's school for their staffs' potluck. The two of us read stories while we eat a few snacks before bed…"

Her brow furrowed. "Baking Thursdays?" Elsa questioned.

"I know… it sounds strange, and maybe not all that much fun; but I do it as a thank you for the staff… you don't have to come. I just thought-"

"I didn't make either of those assumptions." Elsa interrupted as her eyes lowered. "I just wasn't aware that 'baking thursdays' were a thing…"

Honeymaren finished off her container before slipping it back into Elsa's bag. "They're not a 'thing', per say. It's something Ryder and I got in the habit of doing, and I thought you might like to join us?"

"I'd love to join you." Elsa smiled.

"Great!" Honeymaren returned the expression. "Why don't you meet us at the house around six? I'll get dinner squared away before then, so all you have to do is show up."

Her head titled a fraction to the side. "Sounds perfect," she whispered, and buried another bite of salad behind her lips.

* * *

"How is it that you always manage to look stunning no matter the occasion?" Honeymaren's eyes trailed up and over Elsa's thin, cotton pants and black shirt.

"I could ask you the same," she responded, despite her growing blush.

Honeymaren closed the door behind her. Her braided hair whipped over her shoulder, turning to her. As Elsa was kicking off her shoes, she was already taking her hand and drawing her toward the kitchen.

"Someone's excited…" Elsa teased. "It wasn't that long ago I saw you, you know?"

"Hurry up! There's something you need to see! It's kind of a surprise…" she gave Elsa a swift tug when her shoes were finally off.

Honeymaren pulled her into the kitchen. Taking Elsa's shoulders beneath her hands, she positioned her in front of Ryder. He looked up with wide eyes. A smile slowly started across his lips.

"Watch this!" Honeymaren lowered beside him. "Hey Ry, who's here?" she asked.

"El'a!" Ryder shouted.

"That's right, Elsa!" Honeymaren beamed and returned to Elsa's side. "We've been working on that…"

She couldn't fight her blush. Red coursed across her cheeks and settled along her nose. Honeymaren's hand rubbed at the back of her neck.

"I can tell!" Elsa's finger brushed Ryder's cheek affectionately. "That is the best surprise! Thank you."

"El'a!" he said again, knowing he'd receive more praise.

Elsa laughed when Ryder's hands extended toward her. "Oh no! It's a trap!" she feigned. "I've fallen right into it!"

"That you did, Snowflake… It looks like you're on Ryder duty now." Honeymaren quickly squeezed Elsa's hand on her way back to the counter.

"You're lucky you're cute." she made a face at Ryder as she pulled him onto her hip.

Ryder's hands playfully slapped against her cheeks. He giggled and bounced in her arms.

"So, what's for dinner?" Elsa and Ryder slid in at Honeymaren's side.

"Tacos… Ry's already had his. Our shells are baking now, and so are tomorrow's school snacks."

Turning to Ryder, Elsa's lips drew closer to his ear. "Do you hear that? Your mom spoils us… Homemade taco shells and snacks… If she's not careful, I might never leave!"

Ryder laughed again before babbling something incoherent.

"-but didn't you know, that was all part of my plan…" Honeymaren sang and spun to face them.

"Your plan?" Elsa's brow arched.

Honeymaren nodded, slowly. "Oh yeah… My plan to trick you and lure you in with food so I can hold you here forever against your will!"

Elsa's expression stiffened. "I think your mom's been watching too many horror movies…"

She tickled Ryder's hip. He squirmed and kicked his legs against Elsa's side as he tried to lean away from her. However, one moment he was in Elsa's arms and the next he was being stolen away from her. His eyes were wide. He turned to find his mother laughing at him. Lips buried against Ryder's neck, and Honeymaren blew him a quick raspberry.

"Hey! No fair!" Elsa playfully pouted.

"It is too fair," she held Ryder away from her. "I think you're starting to like him more than you like me!"

"Now, that's not true," Elsa crossed her arms. "I like you both the same."

Honeymaren placed Ryder on his feet. She ignored his whines as she stepped in at Elsa's front. Pinning her against the counter, Honeymaren's hands went to her hips. She felt Elsa shiver beneath her touch. Her blue eyes drove a little bit wider and Honeymaren couldn't help but smirk.

Her lips ascended on Elsa's in an instant. An eager hand shifted up her side and buried into blonde hair.

"I'm choosing to believe you." Honeymaren mumbled against Elsa's mouth.

Elsa smiled, pressing further into her. "You should know," her lips brushed Honeymaren's. "I think there's something between us."

Both women looked down to find Ryder wedged between their legs. His eyes and hands held up toward them as his face fell into a pout.

"Mama!" he feigned.

Honeymaren's gaze circled the ceiling. Her attention briefly caught Elsa's and she kissed her once more. "-a rock and a hard place…" she sighed. "-those lips and that face…" Honeymaren glanced down at Ryder again. "I've got my work cut out for me."

"I think that's called balance, Mare." Elsa teased.

She felt Honeymaren pull away. Ryder was lifted from the floor and replaced on her hip. He smiled bashfully at Elsa before hiding his face into his mother's chest.

Seeing it, Honeymaren groaned. "I'm not sure we should ever tell him that his first crush was on his mother's girlfriend…"

Elsa giggled. "It's sweet… It makes me feel welcomed."

"Well Snowflake, you're welcome to start pulling trays out of the fridge while I keep our food from burning."

It was a simple action, but one Elsa hadn't anticipated, nonetheless. Honeymaren had asked her for help. She accepted her in their home, and was decidingly meeting Elsa halfway.

Filled with admiration, she quickly brushed her lips against Honeymaren's cheek. Before she could respond, Elsa disappeared. She set the table and put out the trays while Honeymaren tended to the oven.

"This all looks delicious!" Elsa commended minutes later as they sat around the spread.

"I know taco Tuesdays are more traditional, but we like to make things a little more creative around here." she winked at Elsa, watching her throw together her meal.

Ryder sat between them, and was content to munch on his slices of cheese.

"By the way, how did that meeting go?" Elsa asked before taking her first bite. The crisp taco shell crunched beneath her teeth and she smiled around it.

Honeymaren rolled her eyes. "I take it they're good?" She watched Elsa merely nod and take another bite. "I'm glad…" Honeymaren began preparing her own. "The meeting went really well, actually… I was still a little surprised, though."

"Really? Why surprised?" Elsa hummed. Her attention stayed on Honeymaren as she worked through her meal.

Honeymaren shrugged. "I guess because I wasn't expecting this opportunity in the first place. My boss, Belle; she usually struggles to hand off the reins. She likes to do everything herself- make sure it gets done right, you know? But I think this is just too big a project for her to handle on top of everything else."

"You sound like the perfect person for the job, then. I think you could handle a little more responsibility, and you're definitely worth the raise." Elsa grinned. "So, what did Belle say you'd be doing?"

Ryder crawled along the bench and into Elsa's lap. His legs dangled over hers, feet kicking the underside of the table. She didn't mind. Elsa readjusted her position to keep food from falling in his hair. Ryder giggled and leaned back against her when Elsa's arm tucked around his waist.

"Well, seeing how Belle knows about as much as I do about this project, the new board-head was there to explain it to me. They seem pretty cool surprisingly, though, I'm not entirely sure why they're so invested in the library... They seem to understand next to nothing about our existing resources- just some Richie Rich type looking for somewhere to spend their money I guess."

"Another old white dude needing to write off some taxes?" Elsa's brow lifted.

Shaking her head, Honeymaren handed Ryder a taco shell to munch on. She was happy to see Elsa was unbothered by the crumbs that landed on her legs as he broke the shell into pieces.

"Old white lady- which might be better; who knows? Actually, you might know them. Ahtohallan University was your alma mater, right? They just transferred from there."

At that, Elsa's whole face lifted curiously to Honeymaren's. "Yeah, I went there." her head tilted. "Why?"

"The new board-head, she taught Marine Biology there; Doctor Helga Sinclair-"

"Isles…" Elsa breathed. "She was still married to Caleb Isles when I was there…"

"The hotel guy?" Honeymaren asked as she looked up.

Elsa dejectedly nodded. Blue eyes froze to her plate. Her hands had buried beneath the table and her tacos were pushed aside. Honeymaren noticed the slow curl of Elsa's shoulders. She couldn't be certain, but Honeymaren thought she might be shaking.

"You know her?" her brows lowered.

Elsa didn't respond. Her eyes moved with the wave of thoughts she kept to herself. Thin lips had parted and worry lines streaked across her pale forehead.

"Are you alright?" Honeymaren inched closer to her side.

The movement startled Elsa. Her attention snapped quickly to Honeymaren and she forced a small smile. "I'm fine!" Elsa slid Ryder from her lap. "I'm- I have to make a phone call really quick… I'll be back. I'm sorry..."

Elsa stood up before Honeymaren could question her more. Without a jacket, or her shoes, she took off out the front door. Honeymaren stayed behind. She and Ryder exchanged a brief glance.

"I've got no idea, bud…" she hummed.

Yet despite her confusion, Honeymaren couldn't fight the uncomfortable feeling that trickled in at her waist.

* * *

"Pick up, pick up, pick up!" Elsa pleaded.

She was pacing the driveway in front of Honeymaren's garage. Her toes were numb against the cold ground. The wind held a nasty chill, but Elsa remained unbothered.

"Hellooo…" Anna sang.

"Thank goodness!" Elsa's hand dragged through her hair. "I need you! I need you to, I don't know… Come get me or something!"

"Woah, woah, woah- slow down!" she coached. "What's going on? Where are you? I thought you were at Honeymaren's tonight?"

"I am!" Elsa's voice cracked. "I was- I'm outside.. I need you to come get me!"

Filtering through the shock, a small noise of confusion rattled in Anna's throat. "Uhh, I mean, I can do that... but what's going on? Are you running away? Did something happen between you and Honeymaren?"

"No!" Elsa shouted, and a bit too loud. "I need- I just need you to get me out of here!"

"Elsa, come on, talk to me! This isn't you anymore… You're panicking and I need you to tell me why!"

"She's here!" the explanation came fast, nearly cutting off Anna's words. "-not here at the house, but at the school! Anna, Helga is at the school!"

"What?!" Now panic stole through Anna's tone.

Elsa imagined her eyes wide and her hand against her chest as she was doing herself. "You see now? You have to come get me! Please!"

"-but what? How? Elsa, I don't understand!"

With a disgruntled groan, Elsa dropped to her rear. Her back leaned into the siding on the house. "I don't know, Anna, but she's Honeymaren's new boss! She's on the board for the school, and- I can't, I don't want to do this right now!"

"Did you explain; did you explain to Honeymaren what's going on?" Anna pushed back.

Her mouth dropped open, but Elsa was starving for air. "No, I- she can't know! Not now, Anna! Honeymaren needs that raise! She has Ryder to think about… I won't, I can't!"

"Elsa, Elsa! Relax!" Anna mimicked a deep breath, forcing Elsa to do the same. "Good, now, let's walk through this… Elsa, you have to tell her. You can't keep this from Honeymaren; especially now that _she's_ there."

"I knew this was a bad idea…" Elsa ranted. "I should have never gotten involved here! I should have left Honeymaren alone, and god! Why does this keep happening to me? Why can't she leave well-enough alone?"

Anna hushed her soothingly. "You don't know that… You're spiralling! Maybe Helga has no idea you work for this school? It could be a freaky coincidence!"

"Of course she knows!" Elsa fought back. Her head pressed hard into the wall behind her. "Why else would she choose the library to dump all her money? She's a scientist for god's sake!"

"Elsa, you need to tell Honeymaren. You need to help her understand… You can't just run away from this again. You like Honeymaren, and you need to fight for your place at this school! Listen, it isn't as scary as it seems… I know it doesn't feel that way now, but trust me. You can get that restraining order you never filed, and we can talk to our lawyers, but you have to tell Honeymaren first so she understands…"

"I can't!" Elsa croaked. "-that raise and her job; Anna, it isn't fair!"

She hushed her sister again. "It's not fair, but she'll understand. Honeymaren cares about you and she's not going to want you to feel like this!"

Elsa's face tensed-over. "Anna, please… just come get me…"

Anna sighed. "Elsa, I can't… You know I shouldn't. You need to face this and stop letting her ruin your life."

Her head was shaking, or was it her hands? Elsa couldn't tell, but she tensed her whole body in response. "I've got to go." she forced herself to say.

"Talk to her, Elsa. Help her understand-"

Elsa hung up before Anna could say anything else. Her phone slammed onto the pavement, and she didn't appear to care. With a deep breath, Elsa dropped her head onto her knees. Her arms worked around her legs and she hugged them to her chest with a deep sigh.

* * *

_Cheers,_

_-M._


	17. Chapter 17

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen**

* * *

**Maren Nattura [19:24] - **_I understand the need to run better than anyone, but you could have at least talked to me first!_

**Maren Nattura [19:32] -** _I will call you after Ryder goes down. Please answer._

_Missed Phone Call from Maren Nattura at 20:01_

**Maren Nattura [20:01] - **_You took your keys and left! Your shoes and your jacket are still here! I'm worried about you… please call me back. We don't have to talk about anything, just let me know you're okay…_

**Maren Nattura [21:12] -** _Elsa, please._

**Maren Nattua [21:27] -** _Your sister texted me. She said she's on her way to your house now… I'm glad you're alright._

* * *

Her limbs were heavy. The lids of her eyes stuck wide. Elsa was on her back staring up at the ceiling. Her face was red and her hair knotted. It was a long sleepless night with no reprieve.

Early light from the autumn sun had begun to filter into the tiny bedroom. The morning birds' songs were drowned out by the overhead fan. Elsa watched it spin in circles. The fan spun like her tired mind felt.

She hadn't meant to run out on Honeymaren the night before. When she was listening to her sister on the phone, Elsa knew Anna was right. She should have told her what was going on. Elsa should have explained everything. If she had, then she wouldn't be feeling like this. Instead, she did as she always had. Life got stressful, scary… And so, Elsa; she ran.

At this point, Honeymaren was probably so angry with her that they would never speak again. Elsa's new and glorious relationship was over before it even began. The thought hurt. She had to wonder if there was any taking it back. Yet another part of Elsa questioned if telling Honeymaren was even fair. She needed that raise. Honeymaren supported her son all on her own. Elsa knew she couldn't support her girlfriend working with Helga, but if she left Honeymaren alone; that would be for the best.

Around six thirty, Elsa emailed her students to let them know she'd be absent from class. It was her first sick day since she'd started there four years ago, and she couldn't be bothered to feel bad about it. Elsa was afraid to face Honeymaren. Even more than that, she was terrified to run into Helga again. After all those years, Doctor Isles-Sinclair was back in her life. The wave of panic that coursed through Elsa was suddenly all too familiar.

**Anna [07:21] - **_How are you hanging in there?_

Elsa rolled over to face her phone. She took the case in her hands and sighed.

**Elsa [07:21] - **_I'm home. I need a break today. I'll talk to you later._

She was thankful when her sister didn't reply. Anna meant well, she did. However, sometimes she pushed her harder than Elsa was willing to give. Elsa needed time. She needed space and a minute to reflect. Dr. Sinclairs' reappearance had shaken her to the core. If Elsa wanted to make certain she could hold on to her new life; she needed that minute to bring things back into perspective.

Around eight, Elsa forced herself up from the bed. While she waited for her coffee to brew she slumped into the chair at her dining table. Her phone dinged again. Elsa instantly groaned.

**Anna [08:04] -** _I saw HM at drop off. She wasn't looking too hot… I really think you should reach out to her._

Elsa instantly pushed her phone to the other side of the table. Her arms crossed and her foot tapped impatiently as she waited for the coffee pot to fill. Once it did, she hugged the mug between two hands. Elsa disappeared into the living room and buried into the corner of her couch.

Hours went by like that. Between mindlessly watching TV and dozing every so often; Elsa wallowed through her day. Her neck ached. Her eyes were blown and red. She was certain she looked a mess, but there was no energy left to care. Elsa could grade papers or get started on the outline for her finals. However, the thought of school kept pulling her mind back to the crisis at hand.

Yet, only when a knock surfaced at her door was Elsa drawn back into reality. She didn't know what time it was. She couldn't imagine who would find her here during the day. The tinge of fear she felt while considering it was surprising.

Very quickly, Elsa smoothed down her hair with an open hand. She reeled in a deep breath and crossed the living room. Her hand shook as she gripped the door handle. Before she pulled it open, Elsa's eyes closed in anticipation. A single eye peaked through the small crack. The air left her lungs at once.

"Um, hello…" Elsa greeted the stranger.

"Delivery." a boy in casual day clothes lifted a bag for her to see.

"Oh…" Elsa frowned. She pulled the door wider. "-but I didn't order anything?"

He looked down at the receipt. "Elsa Aren?" his brow arched.

"That's, um- that's me…"

"Well, surprise, then," his words rang dryly as he forced the bag into her hands. "Have a good day, ma'am."

The boy shrugged before spinning on his feet and stalking off back down the hall. Elsa blinked after him for a moment. Her eyes drew between his movements and the bag now in hand. When she finally brought herself to move, she closed the door behind her. Elsa set the bag down on the table and stared at it, hard.

Her brows lowered. Her forehead wrinkled. Tentatively, Elsa reached out and fingered apart the staples. She looked down again, drawing in a deep breath.

_Coffee…_

She should have known. Elsa pulled out the togo cup, a sandwich, and the note that fell out with them. Seeing it there, Elsa debated leaving it unread. It was folded up. She could pretend she hadn't seen it. However, Elsa knew she had. Her curiosity would best her, and now she was left with no other choice.

Everything traveled back to the couch with her. She returned to her corner with her legs drawn against her chest. Elsa couldn't bring herself to eat or enjoy her coffee. They stayed there next to her while she gripped the note in a tight fist. Finally, she sighed and flipped it open.

_Elsa,_

_This isn't us, alright? This isn't how we're going to work through things when we have problems. You can't just shut me out when you're upset. You have to meet me halfway, just like we promised. I did that when I was worried my life would be too much for you to handle, and now you're pushing me away because you feel the same. I can handle it, Elsa. Whatever you need to tell me, I will listen and we will deal with it. But remember, you have to try. Try, and please, let me in._

_Maren._

The tears had started before Elsa had finished reading. Honeymaren was right. Elsa had asked her to open up and now she'd run away because she was afraid to do the same. That wasn't fair of her, but the deed had already been done. She'd already pushed Honeymaren away to protect her. Yet she'd come right back and demanded return into her life.

Elsa didn't eat, and the coffee cooled beside her. She cried until she couldn't anymore. Once again, Elsa felt overpowered by her past. She'd lost control again and it was scary. For the last four years she'd worked to put everything that had happened behind her. It took hours of therapy, and many numb weeks with even longer sleepless nights. It was impossible to consider she could unravel all of that now.

Elsa wouldn't even know where to begin.

Eventually, the light in the room dimmed with the setting sun. She'd allowed the whole day to slip by without feeling a minute of it. The last time this had happened Elsa was in her early twenties. Yet today felt different somehow. She'd learned a lot in the years since her accident. Today, Elsa could afford to slip back into old habits because she knew tomorrow she'd be forced to pull back out of them.

However that action was forced on her quicker than Elsa could control. Another knock surfaced at the door, and this time she guessed it was Anna. By tell of the early evening sky, she was coming to check on her after work. Elsa should have responded to her text message. If she'd had, she would have asked Anna to leave her alone.

With a shake of her head and the curl of her shoulders, Elsa approached the door once again. She pulled it open without concern. She didn't care what Anna thought of her right now. If she had to, Elsa would listen to what Anna had to say, and then crawl her way back into bed. This could all wait until tomorrow, she decided. Tomorrow she would deal with Honeymaren, and most importantly; she'd deal with herself.

When the door finally pulled wide, Elsa froze with her hand against the frame. Her jaw wavered in shock. Blue eyes doubled in size. She felt her knees jerk uneasily and she took a step back.

"What- what are you doing here?" she panicked.

Before she could say anything else, her visitor let themselves in.

"Oh look, your phone! I was worried it might have run away…"

As Elsa turned, she planted in the open doorway. Her hands dragged through her hair as raw emotions drove in at full force.

"I was teasing…" Honeymaren smiled.

She set a series of bags on the counter before spinning back to her; hands firmly planted on her hips. Elsa was still staring. She looked as if the kitchen meant to swallow her whole. Honeymaren's head tilted. She waited for Elsa to do something; say anything, when finally, she sighed.

Elsa pushed the door close and came further into the room. "What are you doing here?" her voice surfaced, sounding very small.

"I am here to make you dinner while you go and take a shower, or a bath- whatever you prefer."

As she took a hesitant step forward, Elsa stepped back. "-but why?" she breathed.

Honeymaren's hands came down at her side and she reeled in a deep breath. "Elsa, there's obviously something going on. You're struggling, and it's my responsibility as your girlfriend to help you through it."

Looking down at her hands, Elsa frowned. "Where's Ryder?"

"He's with my mom." Honeymaren said simply. "She has the night off and I promised her some Ry-time."

"You didn't have to make her do that..." Elsa suddenly found her voice.

"I didn't make her do anything, Snowflake. She offered. Now… stop being stubborn and let me take care of you. Go and shower- do what you've gotta do, and I will be here when you're ready."

Elsa felt small under Honeymaren's gaze. Her brown eyes were compassionate, but also strict. If this were Anna in front of her, Elsa would have no problem asking her to leave. Anna understood her need for space. However, Elsa now had to consider if space was what she really needed?

She offered Honeymaren a short nod before leaving the room. Her eyes fell to her feet and she made her way toward the bath. As the door closed behind her, Elsa felt a tear slip down her cheek. She was angry at herself. She was anxious about Helga, but also in that moment; Elsa felt incredibly loved.

When she returned to the living room close to an hour later, Elsa felt better than she had all day. Her face had been scrubbed clean from yesterday's makeup. Her hair was brushed and hung damp against her back. She was wearing a white shirt. Black shorts hung loose over her hips and she had a red shawl draped around her shoulders.

Elsa found Honeymaren in the kitchen. Her back was to Elsa when she entered.

"To the couch, Snowflake." Her thumb dragged past her head and she pointed to the door.

Elsa froze, frowning. "I can help. What are you making?"

Honeymaren shook her head and turned to Elsa with a glare. "Back to the couch." she smiled.

Defeated, Elsa did as she was commanded. It didn't take long for Honeymaren to join her, however. She laid a blanket at the center of the floor and placed a covered tray beside it. Very gently, Honeymaren reached down. She extended her hand to Elsa and waggled her fingers when she refused to take them.

Elsa sat there staring at Honeymaren's palm. Her eyes filtered back and forth between the brown eyes and the soft gesture. Finally when her hand slipped into Honeymaren's, her emotions tipped over the ledge. The warmth of their interlaced fingers brought Elsa to tears and she quickly tried to pull away.

Honeymaren stuck fast, though. Holding Elsa's hand tight, she sat down beside her. With her free hand, Honeymaren brushed away her tears. "Hey there now, you're alright…"

"Maren, I- I didn't mean to, and you-"

Honeymaren's lips closed over hers. "No tears, alright?" she smiled. "Eat first, and then you can cry all you want to me after."

Elsa was directed onto the floor with a gentle tug. Her legs tucked beneath her, and still; the tears hadn't stopped. "Why are you being so nice to me?" she cried.

"Aren't I always nice to you?"

Hearing her voice break had Honeymaren forgoing food. She drew Elsa into her side and allowed her face to bury into her hair. Elsa's slender body shook as she sobbed. Honeymaren held her tighter in response.

"I half expected you to kick me out, Snowflake. What's going on?" her hand soothed along Elsa's back.

"I wanted to." she mournfully divulged.

A small laugh escaped Honeymaren's throat. "Thank you for not shutting the door in my face, then."

"It's hard because I want to tell you! I made you share with me about your past, but I couldn't do the same. You should hate me right now!"

She ran a flat hand across the sides of Elsa's face, pushing her hair away. "I could be mad, but what good would that do? You're obviously upset enough already. Besides, I think you're beating yourself up way more than I ever could." Honeymaren's lips quirked into a small smile. "Take your time, Snowflake. I'm not here to push you, but I do think you should eat first. It'll help you to feel better."

Elsa nodded sadly. She pulled away from Honeymaren's arms. "What did you make?" she asked, looking at the tray.

"-just your standard comfort meal. Hopefully you like grilled cheese and soup."

Elsa's grin was suddenly wide. A few more tears slipped down her cheeks. "You read my mind…"

Silently, Honeymaren slid the tray in front of them. She pulled back the top and handed Elsa her own plate. She watched her stare at it for a moment. Her hands appeared to have lost their shake, but there was still a tentativeness to her movements that Honeymaren couldn't understand. Finally, she brought the sandwich up to her mouth and took her first bite.

All the while, Honeymaren starred. Elsa had never looked so vulnerable to her before. There had always been a certain hint of something broken inside of her. When Honeymaren learned about her parents' death; she assumed it was that. However now, there was this new side to Elsa. Something had been done to her that left her anxious and out of sorts. Honeymaren wouldn't pry, though. From her own experience, these conversations happened in their own way, and on their own time. Her responsibility here was to Elsa, as is- and not to force her into situations that could hurt her further.

"You're not eating?" Elsa pointed.

"I will," Honeymaren shrugged. "I was admiring the view while I have it right here in front of me."

Elsa dryly laughed. "I'm sure I look terrible." she looked away self consciously.

"Impossible." Honeymaren remarked. "You couldn't look terrible even if you tried."

"Time to get started on that beard, then."

Her eyes slowly turned over her shoulder. Elsa smirked. Eating had appeared to break the bulk of the overwhelming feelings she had experienced minutes before. Her face had more color to it. She was teasing Honeymaren with ease.

"If that's something you want, then I'm all for it."

Elsa rolled her eyes. "Liar…"

At that, Honeymaren pulled her own sandwich up to her lips. When she did, Elsa tucked closer into her side. The action was but a small thank you. Her knees drew a little bit higher, and Elsa's head fell against her shoulder; curling into Honeymaren's hold.

"Do you remember the other night before Ricco stopped over?

She'd been silent for a moment. Elsa's voice surprised her. Honeymaren replaced her sandwich on the plate and turned to Elsa as best she could. She wasn't looking at her, though. Elsa's eyes were lost to Honeymaren's lap.

"You wanted to talk to me about something…" she frowned.

Slowly nodding, Elsa sat up.

"We didn't because we talked about me instead…" Honeymaren's brows continued to lower. Her teeth grit behind her lips.

"What we talked about instead isn't important. I realize now we would have had both conversations eventually."

She sighed. "I see you're trying to make me feel better, but I can't help how guilty I feel knowing you already tried to share this with me… Yesterday could have been avoided if I'd just remembered-"

Elsa's fingers pressed to Honeymaren's lips and she shook her head. "Like I said, both conversations had their value. It doesn't matter what order they came in. I'm only sorry for how I reacted when it was my turn."

Her shoulder drew further into her ears as Honeymaren looked away. "I can't understand what this has to do with the grant money…"

"You will," Elsa hummed. "-and I think that's why I ran out on you. Sharing with me about your past, it didn't affect me personally. Well… maybe it does now that we are dating, but nothing changed because you told me."

Brown eyes returned to blue. "You're afraid to tell me about this because of work?"

Elsa shrugged. "Maybe… a little… It's not that anything would change for you; it's that it could. Work will certainly change for me now, and I think that's why this conversation is difficult. But you and my sister were right… You need to understand what happened so you know up front that I have to make unfortunate decisions because of this now."

Her head shook. "-still lost here, Snowflake."

"I-I know, I know… bare with me." Elsa sighed. "I'm trying… It's hard to know where to begin..."

Honeymaren nudged her arm. "Finish your food first. There's no rush."

Shaking her head, Elsa's back pulled straight. "No I'm- I've sat with this long enough... It's hard to eat with this weighing on me- the guilt, the fear… I've come too far to let these feelings back in now. You need to understand, and I need to figure out how to continue moving away from this."

Elsa suddenly stood. She left Honeymaren watching her from the foot of the couch as she sauntered over to the bookshelves. Like the rest of her furniture, the bookshelf was white. From where she was seated, Honeymaren could tell that most of Elsa's collection was old. Surprisingly though, she didn't go for a book. Elsa crouched down onto her knees and slid a folder from the bottom shelf. It was tucked in there tight; nearly forgotten amongst the novels.

When she returned, Elsa set the folder between them. Her legs kicked out at her side and she sat. Tentatively, she rotated toward Honeymaren. Honeymaren did the same, leaning an arm over the edge of the couch.

Elsa was looking at her, but her mind was elsewhere. The cautious flicker of her eyes held further away than where Honeymaren sat.

"I thought we would sleep together that night," Elsa blurted and her cheeks burned bright. "-well, we did sleep together, but... you know what I mean..."

She watched as Elsa's brow furrowed deep. Honeymaren reached out a hand and rested it gently on her knee. "It's okay… go on." she encouraged her.

Drawing in a deep breath, Elsa's hands clasped against her chest. "I haven't slept with anyone in longer than I care to admit… and I suppose that's where this begins. I knew that this would need to happen to some extent before we really could…"

The fingers over her shirt flexed uncomfortably. Elsa's whole back went rigid as her hands slid down from her chest to the hem of her shirt. They stilled there, briefly. The slight shake only appeared to worsen as her fingers buried beneath the thin fabric. Then, very slowly, Elsa began pulling the shirt up her torso and over the top of her head. She was left there in only a red lace bra. Her arms had folded over the cusp of each breast, but it wasn't enough to cover what Honeymaren now saw.

Elsa's gaze had diverted. Her chin tucked into her shoulder as her attention filtered over the side wall. Honeymaren knew it was because of her staring. She should look away, she told herself. However, turning away might have hurt Elsa more.

What she saw before her was the mark of a story Elsa had yet to share. From the v of Elsa's collar to the base of her ribs- ran a faint scar. It was light in color, matching her fair skin as best it could. It was, however, something Honeymaren knew she would never miss had they gone as far as they'd planned.

"The story that goes with this scar, it's an… _unfortunate_ one… and I haven't had to be honest with anyone like this before. Up until now, I'd perfected the readers' digest version. It's easy to tell people you've been hit by a car and let them pity you. What they don't know, however… is that I deserved it."

Tentatively, Honeymaren reached out and touched her chin. Very gently she pulled Elsa's eyes back onto her own. Whatever she was going to share with her, Honeymaren knew it was important that they face it together; and with each other's full attention.

Elsa's hands were vibrating as she pulled the folder into her hand. Her thumb ungracefully slipped beneath the cover. She flicked it open. Honeymaren covered her mouth and stifled a gasp.

While there were no pictures of Elsa enclosed in the folder, there were pictures of the car that had hit her. If the state of the vehicle was any indication of how Elsa faired; Honeymaren didn't want to know. She already felt nauseous. Bile pooled in her throat. Her brown eyes burned with mixed emotions. Elsa's impact with the car had nearly totaled it. There was nothing left to the windshield. The clear indent on the hood from where she'd collided with it was enough to make Honeymaren's head spin.

"Elsa…" she breathed. Her eyes closed.

"Don't- don't feel sorry for me." Stern words surfaced with a level hand. "I'm going to tell you the truth, so you understand… But I deserved what happened to me."

Honeymaren was frowning, but turned back to Elsa anyway. "I'm listening." she promised.

Closing the folder, she stood and tucked into her favorite corner of the couch. Elsa's thighs pulled against her bare chest. Her arms corded around them. Honeymaren followed, seating herself far enough away from Elsa to make her comfortable; but close enough to see every freckle on her face.

"When I was in my undergrad at Ahtohallan, Anna was still in high school. We'd just lost our parents and balancing things was… _difficult_. The house had been paid for; our cars and our health care. Whatever was left over from their life insurance, we put into a savings account. Everything else, we decided, we'd have to cover on our own. So the first thing I did when I was accepted to AU was find a decently paying job. I ended up in the research lab doing paperwork, and that had me spending a lot of time with the professors…

"Of those professors," Elsa sighed. "-was Doctor Helga Isles. During my first year I only saw her in passing, but during my second… I had her for Marine Bio. Right off the bat she seemed to take a special interest in me… I couldn't say I hated it either… Losing my parents had been a struggle. I was dealing with Anna on top of it. We always got along, sure, but her way of coping was different than mine. I just wanted to be left alone, while she was much more open about our loss.

"It helped to have a distraction while at school, though. Helga was… particularly skilled in that department. She hired me as a PA and upped my pay rate. It was a relief to not only have a job I liked, but also the money to support my sister. However, I was still fairly young… I never thought to look into Helga or her money. What started off as a completely professional student / teacher relationship, eventually morphed into something much more… _physical_."

Her eyes had fallen to the cushion separating them. Elsa's knuckles turned white as she gripped her hands.

"Things carried on that way for a long time… too long, if we're being honest. Discussing why you never left Ricco after all those years- let's just say, I completely understand it… But I was naive, too. I'd never been in a relationship before. I'd never wanted to, but being with Helga was natural. She was intelligent. We had things in common. Despite our age difference, we got along really well...

"-and oddly enough, our relationship wasn't much of a secret. Which was contradictory to how I would have preferred it. Helga was very obvious with her affections for me. In class, the other students noticed the way she'd touch me while she walked down the aisles, or how she'd linger over my shoulder for a moment longer than everyone else. I did my best to demonstrate platonic, but it turned out to be harder than I thought…

"Word obviously got around about our predicament. The school board disallowed me from being her PA, and I was rehired by another professor for my junior year. None of this stopped us from seeing each other, however. I should have heeded all of that as my first warning, but I didn't… and that's how things went from bad to worse."

Elsa tugged the pillow from behind her back and hugged it against her chest. Her chin perched up on the lining. Sitting there, she looked child-like; fragile, even.

"As I said before, there were lots of things I didn't know about Helga. Looking back on it now, I am not sure how I could have been so blind. And perhaps that's why I'd been so adamant that you share things with me… I didn't want to find myself in the same situation again, not that I believe you could have. I'm just..._cautious_ now."

Shaking her head, Honeymaren forced Elsa to look at her. "You don't need to justify anything, Elsa. Just speak freely. You didn't judge me based on my situation. It would be unfair for me to do that to you in return..."

The toothless smile that pulled across Elsa's cheeks was small at best. Yet, the action had appeared to loosen the strain on her shoulders. She pushed back further into the couch and released a long breath.

"During my senior year I found out Helga had been married with a family the entire time we'd been seeing each other. Anna had met a boy during her AU college visit. His name was Hans, and he was Helga's son… one of thirteen, if you can believe that. Both she and her husband Caleb had twelve sons between them before they got married. Hans was the only child who belonged biologically to both of them.

"And for your sake, I wish I could say learning this was what made it all stop, but it didn't. I allowed Helga to convince me that she was leaving her husband- that being with me was what she wanted. Every time I got anxious or questioned what we were doing, she'd threaten to go to the board, ruin my grades… keep me from graduating, even… I felt stuck there. Part of me wanted to be with her- wanting her to leave her husband so we could be like we were before I knew… The other part was broken. I'd lost all my trust in her. I was afraid of Helga, but I was stuck in our old motions, and stuck believing that everything was the same."

Dejectedly, Elsa pointed at the folder. "That happened during the holiday break right after my twenty first birthday. Anna and I were on the coast, shopping for a last minute party at Kristoff's parents' house. I looked both ways before crossing the street, but at the same time- a car pulled out of a parallel parking spot. It struck me from behind… I think he intended to run after, but he couldn't make it far without being able to see. He turned into an oncoming vehicle and ended up in the hospital, himself; with a concussion and a broken jaw…

"It was Hans who hit me with his car…" Elsa whispered. "I'd been ruining his life and his families for too long… He's ended up in jail since then, of course. Which has only exacerbated everything further… and oddly enough, Helga never blamed me. She wasn't mad. She actually felt… _sorry_. But I ended it anyway." She stated sharply. "While in recovery I told Helga we were done. I left the university while I underwent physical therapy and I was allowed to finish my degree online. I moved to the city for my masters, and this is where I've been ever since. I haven't seen her, and I don't want to. Aside from therapy, I hadn't spoken about her or even heard her name…"

"Until yesterday…" Honeymaren's eyes bore wide. "-when I told you about the raise."

"-and it's manipulative of me, I know this. And even though I can't shake the feeling Helga has alternative motives, you should take that job because it's what's best for you and Ryder… But, for my own sake… I have to stay away from her, alright? I don't know how yet, but I will find a way..."

Both women silenced for a long few minutes. Honeymaren's expression still strained. Elsa's attention held down at her hands latched around the pillow. Doing what she thought was best, Honeymaren joined her at the cushion between them.

Elsa flinched instantly. Her eyes shot up and she straightened her spine. A shiver descended her back when Honeymaren pinched her chin.

"I have a question, Elsa," she whispered sincerely. "How many people before today have told you that what happened was not your fault?"

Her question forced Elsa's gaze to roll away. "That's not important." she dryly fought.

"It is…" Honeymaren continued. "-because I'm about to say it to you again."

That's when Elsa's eyes returned. As they connected with Honeymaren's browns, her bottom lids began to well. "Don't…" she nearly pleaded. "Don't say that to me."

"I have to, Elsa. I have to because it's the truth. You're not responsible for Helga's actions, and you're not to blame for how Hans handled what his mother did. You're the victim in this really unfortunate situation, Elsa. You didn't deserve what happened to you, and you most certainly don't deserve the guilt you continue to give yourself because of this."

Her tears turned to cries. Elsa buried her face into the pillow. Honeymaren lay a tentative hand on the back of her head, stroking it lightly.

"I'm not going to get involved with Helga unless you want me to." she continued. "However, I do think that you need to confront her. She needs to know that you have made a better life for yourself without her. It's not fair for Helga to waltz back in now… and," her fingers threaded through Elsa's damp hair, and Honeymaren lifted her back enough to see her face. "-I won't be taking that job... It's not right, and I'm thankful you told me. Working for someone like her, that's not how _I_ would want to make a better life for _myself…_ understand?"

A broken sob cut from Elsa's throat. Her arms flung deftly over Honeymaren's shoulders and she dragged herself into the space between them. Wet cheeks pressed into the warm skin of her neck. Elsa's cries muffled into Honeymaren's throat, and she held her tighter.

For too long, her tears continued. Elsa's breathing turned erratic. Honeymaren was forced to pull away from her. She carefully stepped around their food and disappeared into the kitchen. When she returned, Honeymaren handed Elsa a glass of water. Confusion filled her face, but she accepted it anyway. The glass touched to her lips and she swallowed what she could before she was forced to gasp for air.

As she sat back beside her, Honeymaren replaced the water on the floor. She pushed the matted hair from Elsa's face with soft hands and offered her a smile. Elsa's tears stilled. However, her cheeks remained red. Her eyes were still swollen.

"-still beautiful." Honeymaren found herself commenting.

A short burst of laughter barreled out of Elsa's chest. Her body was weakened by emotions. Arms had fallen limp at her sides. Yet her head raised when Honeymaren reached out to her. Very slowly, and with a pointed finger, she traced the length of Elsa's scar.

Elsa shivered beneath her touch. "It's... _ugly…_" she sighed.

Her hands cupped her cheeks, dragging their eyes together. "Nothing on or in this body could ever be ugly." Honeymaren promised.

Soft lips brushed against Elsa's. As quickly as they were there, though; the lips fell away. When they surfaced again, they planted at the center of her throat. Honeymaren continued moving downward. Elsa gasped when the lips shielded the start of her long scar.

However, they didn't stop there. Elsa felt herself being guided onto her back. All she could see was the top of Honeymaren's head and the mane of brown curls curtaining her exposed chest. When she reached the end of the scar, peaking out beneath red lace; Honeymaren looked up. She smiled sincerely, her hands latching onto Elsa's waist.

"Beautiful…" she breathed.

"There's this one, too." Elsa was blushing like crazy.

She reached between them and pulled the hem of her shorts away from her thigh. Right there along the hip was another scar. It wasn't nearly as long, and not quite as raised. It didn't matter, though. Elsa was showing Honeymaren all the ways in which she decided made her ugly. It was now her responsibility to find each one of those flaws as stunning as she wholeheartedly believed they were.

Honeymaren slid from the edge of the couch and onto the floor. On her knees, she leaned forward. In one soft swipe, her lips traced the second scar. She moved back in the other direction, not missing the trail of goosebumps surfacing beneath her touch. At that, she sat up higher on her knees. Shuffling closer to Elsa's head, Honeymaren's hand pulled behind her neck. She lifted her gently upward and sealed their lips together.

The sensation instantly had Elsa curling at the waist. She was moving onto her side and pressing back into Honeymaren's lips; her hand landing to cup her neck. Elsa felt herself being drawn from the cushions. With ease, Honeymaren dragged her over the edge and settled Elsa down in her lap. Their lips never left the others. The contact only heightened as Elsa's shoulders forced into the foot of the couch. She was trapped there, but not in a terrifying sense. Elsa felt protected; shielded. Honeymaren's hand flattened to her bare stomach as their lips danced together.

They broke apart only to breath. The inhale that Elsa dragged in rattled painfully her chest. Her eyes were wide and pupils blown. She was thrilled to see the browns before hers looked very much the same. The erratic movement of Honeymaren's chest had Elsa smiling. The slight gap between her lips and the chaotically tossed brown curls;

"You're beautiful." it was Elsa's turn to promise.

Honeymaren merely shook her head in reply. Her own smile stretched along her cheeks and she kissed Elsa again quickly before the smile could fade away.

"Stand up," she softly demanded.

Elsa did as she was told. She waited until Honeymaren pulled herself up beside her. Fingers lacing, she tugged Elsa from the room. The two were standing in the light of the kitchen, then. Honeymaren directed her into a chair as she pulled open one of her bags. She returned to her a moment later. A tiny muffin extended in her reach. Elsa's head tilted at it skeptically until she began to smile.

"M&Ms?" she laughed helplessly. "You made me mini muffins with M&Ms?"

Her head was shaking as she giggled, but when she looked up- M&Ms were the furthest thing from her mind. Honeymaren was stripping her shirt as well. She allowed it to fall to the floor, her hands clapping against her thighs. Every inch of skin before her was coffee-coloured and smooth. Elsa's eyes were driven wide by the sight.

"You were vulnerable with me… the least I can do is even up the score."

It was then that Elsa noticed the faint and jagged scar running the center-length of Honeymaren's waist.

"The kid has a big head, what can I say?"

Elsa's brow flickered. Her lips pursed tight before she was suddenly laughing again. "You're crazy..." she breathed.

Honeymaren simply shrugged. "We all have scars, Elsa… It's more important to spend time with people who are willing to look past them. So if you can do it for me, I need you to be willing to do it for yourself."

Jaw wavering, Elsa replaced the muffin on the table. Her lungs ached as she dragged in a deep breath and stepped forward. She took Honeymaren's hand in her own.

"Show me," she pleaded behind wide blue eyes.

Honeymaren's head tilted to the side. "What?"

"Show me you can look past them…" her voice was barely above a whisper.

Understanding reached Honeymaren's brain and she nodded. As moisture grew in her throat, she swallowed thickly. Elsa was tugging her back through the living room, and she was easily following. Her feet knew where they needed to go. Even when Elsa released her hand, Honeymaren was still content to meet her at the center of the large bedroom.

What color were the walls? What kind of furniture did she have? Honeymaren couldn't be bothered to care. Elsa's hand hid behind her back. She released the latch on her own bra and held it shakily in place. Blue eyes screamed of vulnerability. They searched Honeymaren's face for any sign that they shouldn't continue.

Elsa wouldn't find that in her, Honeymaren decided.

She took a confident step forward. Flattening her hand over Elsa's, together they held the straps against her back. The skin of their stomachs touched. Honeymaren shivered at the contact. She lowered to Elsa, and only when their lips met did she slowly direct their hands away from her back.

The lacy fabric dropped to the floor.

Honeymaren's hands then extended to the backs of Elsa's thighs. Taking handfuls of soft skin, she lifted Elsa over her own hips. She carried her easily, and splayed her gently at the center of the bed. Honeymaren settled over her, never bothering to deter her lips from the woman underneath her.

Heat trapped between them. Honeymaren's skin trembled everywhere Elsa's bare chest connected with hers. She craved more of it- needed it. Elsa must have felt the same.

Nimble fingers worked at the clasp on Honeymaren's bra and quickly stripped it away. Honeymaren playfully shook her head. Resting her brow lightly against Elsa's, blue eyes waited beneath hers. Anxious and wide, they blinked up at her. Tentative hands stroked down the length of Honeymaren's back. She flashed her a cheeky grin before stealing Elsa's bottom lip between her teeth.

Elsa gasped, eyes closing. Honeymaren's mouth recaptured hers. Slowly her hands danced up the length of the curved spine above her. Fair hands tangled into masses of brown curls. Elsa pulled Honeymaren down harder against her. Needing the weight of her, the feel of her skin- Elsa's arms tied around her neck.

Honeymaren sighed instantly. Her mouth parted, and with a subtle grin, Elsa took advantage. As she pulled Honeymaren down, she leaned up. Tasting her, Elsa pulled her tongue across the full length of Honeymaren's. The effect it had on her was instantaneous. The hand around Elsa's neck tightened, and Honeymaren's hips flexed down into hers.

The boiling sensation stirred in her lower abdomen. Honeymaren pulled away, but returned with her lips to Elsa's jaw. At that, she released her first audible sound. Not quite a whimper or a moan; it was nearly a gasp and surfaced from somewhere below her navel. Lips continued across her jaw. They dared down Elsa's neck, turning to teeth at the bend of her shoulder. Eagerly, Elsa curled into it.

She'd been so distracted by the mouth at work on her top half, Elsa had missed the hands clamped against her ribs. Circling thumbs brushed beneath her breasts. Their tips graced sensitive skin.

With that, Honeymaren forced herself up. She kneeled between Elsa's legs and looked down at her with love-darkened eyes. Gaze wandering, she took in every inch of her. From the marble-flat stomach to the wide curve of her hips; Elsa was decidedly perfect. And the way that her chest rose and fell with each desperate breath- it had Honeymaren smiling. Elsa was slender; tall in appearance. Yet everything about her in that moment was dainty and frail. It wasn't until she was pulling her back down with demanding hands; Honeymaren realized dainty was a mere delusion.

Elsa's fingers found the button at the top of Honeymaren's khakis. Once it released, she was using her feet to strip the fabric from her legs. The action had Honeymaren lifting and falling forward with all of her weight. Elsa accepted her graciously. Her hands blindly devoured the warm tan back where her hands had fallen. Bruised lips found the fuller ones above hers, and as they met Elsa rolled her hips into Honeymaren's; her knees parted to each side to bring her even closer.

Eyes widened at her forwardness. She was pulling back from Elsa after being startled by her own whisper of a sigh. Honeymaren was losing her grasp on reality, and she wasn't certain she wanted it back. Her hips detached from Elsa's as she started moving downward. With a subtle curl of her lips, Honeymaren dragged them across the raised line along Elsa's chest. She held them there. Her mouth opened over the base of the scar, and she kissed her fully. The light touch of her tongue had Elsa squirming beneath her. She kissed her again, but lower this time; and was happy to see it still held the same effect.

Elsa's breathing was ragged. Her heart raced beyond the means to settle. Taking Honeymaren's hand in her own, Elsa quickly stilled her movements. Her other finger beaconed Honeymaren back to her lips. With a smirk, she happily obliged; kissing Elsa fully on the mouth.

Deadened by emotions, her arm limply fell around Honeymaren's neck. She held her there. Every bit of skin she pressed up and into the firm weight above her. As she did, Elsa guided their conjoined hands beneath the fabric of her shorts. She forced her eyes wide and Honeymaren touched her.

The span of time was lost from the bedroom as the two women sank gently, but purposefully into each other. For every sound of encouragement and word that fell between them, Elsa lifted herself into the hips straddling her thigh. Each movement, each kiss and arch of limb- sat on full display beneath the overhead light.

And when they reached their peak, Elsa grabbed Honeymaren's chin; pulling her lips back on to her own. Together they felt the height of each others' passion, all the way down from their lips; and to the tips of their outstretched toes.

"I never knew..." Elsa breathed. Her heart still exhausted beneath her ribs.

Honeymaren brushed the hair from Elsa's face and slipped the fingers out from her shorts. "Knew what, Snowflake?" she whispered, allowing her weight to settle over Elsa's.

"That I could feel this way…"

Elsa smiled, and Honeymaren descended toward her. Their lips met between them while Elsa's arms crossed over her back.

"Now, about those M&Ms…" she smirked when they parted.

Rolling her eyes, Honeymaren ignored her and kissed the playful expression from Elsa's lips.

* * *

_Cheers,_

_M._


	18. Chapter 18

_**Cold Secrets**_

M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen**

* * *

**Something touched the side of her face.** The sensation traveled down from her cheek and into the curve of her jaw. Elsa sleepily brushed it away. She tried to hide from the disturbance and roll onto her side, but she found herself inconveniently held in place against her back.

Her blue eyes suddenly blinked open.

The added weight pressing against her stomach wasn't uncomfortable, but it was strange. Amongst the dark room, her vision took a moment to adjust. She struggled out of the sheets. With a tired hand she stretched and rubbed her eyes. When her vision finally cleared, Elsa felt herself smile. She found Honeymaren perched up on one arm beside her. Her other hand extended across Elsa's bare waist; an attempt to make certain that she couldn't pull away.

"What time is it?" she hid a yawn into her open hand.

"Early…" Honeymaren leaned down and kissed her softly.

"What about Ryder?"

She sighed. Her lips pursed sadly. "I know… that's why I woke you up."

"You have to go," Elsa nodded in understanding. She smiled, hoping to help Honeymaren stop looking so afraid.

"I do... but I thought... _maybe_… you might like to come with me?"

Honeymaren's hand slowly breezed up from Elsa's waist. Her fingers lightly etched along her ribs before stopping below her breast. She started to circle the warm skin with the curve of her thumb. Honeymaren smiled, feeling Elsa shiver beneath her.

Elsa's breathing hitched. "I- I'd like that…" she arched into the touch.

"Hmm, but it doesn't look like you're ready to leave just yet…"

"It doesn't?" Her words cut off as Honeymaren's lips replaced against where her fingertips had lingered.

"No," she hummed against her. "Besides… I thought I might leave a few minutes to do this before we go…While we're still..._uninterrupted_..."

Sliding beneath the sheets, Honeymaren's lips trailed the length of Elsa's body... teasingly slow. She descended further until reaching her waist. All but Honeymaren's sleep-mused head had disappeared between her legs.

With her teeth grazing the crest of Elsa's hip, Honeymaren looked up. She winked, flashing her a quick grin before pulling the sheets overhead.

Warmth expanded between Elsa's legs. At the contact, her hips twitched away from the mattress. Honeymaren caught her, holding her tightly in place. Elsa whimpered in response. Her body began tingling all over and she buried her weight into her shoulders.

As fire trapped below her belly, she slid her hand beneath the sheets. Fingers threaded through Honeymaren's hair, and Elsa encouraged her movements with a soft cry.

When Honeymaren returned to her minutes later, her weight settled over Elsa. She thanked Honeymaren graciously with a kiss and directed her arms to curl around her back.

"I can't tell you how long I've wanted to do that for…" Honeymaren brought their foreheads together.

"To me?" she breathlessly asked.

"To anyone…"

Blushing like crazy, Elsa pulled her even closer. "Your first time?" her brow arched. "I can't say I'm not impressed."

Honeymaren rolled her eyes. She turned onto her side, pulling the sheets with her. "You can thank me later, Snowflake… Now, get up! I'm taking you with me now whether you want to or not."

Elsa obliged, but wouldn't let Honeymaren wander too far. She snagged her hand and dragged her back; sinking her lips against the scar at Honeymaren's waist.

She then raised onto her knees. Elsa's arms fell over her girlfriend's bare, tan shoulders. "I will thank you later…" she smirked. "That is a promise."

Her lips brushed Honeymaren's and she slowly pulled away.

* * *

"Tired?" Honeymaren giggled, watching Elsa flop down onto her couch.

She was usually so poised and careful with her movements. To see Elsa relaxing around them; it made her smile.

They'd walked into her apartment minutes before. Honeymaren's mother passed off Ryder as they headed downstairs. Elsa kicked off her shoes by the door. Her shoulders slumped tiredly as she descended down the hall, then she landed on the couch with a huff and pulled the pillows securely beneath her head.

"Someone kept me up all night… _and_ woke me up early…" Elsa's hand shielded against her forehead.

"That was payback for making me worry about you." Honeymaren teased.

Elsa didn't respond. Ryder had teetered over to the edge of the couch. With his hands raised into her face, he demanded to be picked up. Elsa did so without debate. She lifted him into the air and settled him onto her legs.

Ryder giggled, burying his head into her stomach.

Honeymaren smiled. She shook her head. "Coffee?" she asked and squeezed Elsa's toes.

"I'd love some, but don't go making anything special… I'll just have what you're having, alright?"

Her lips tightened into a smirk. "I'll do as I please, Snowflake…"

Honeymaren turned around. Elsa's protests grew quieter in the distance. When she returned, Ryder and Elsa were in much different positions than they had been previously. Ryder lay on his back and had his feet pressed into Elsa's face. She was tickling the undersides with her fingers. He giggled like mad in response. Ryder didn't stop until he was suddenly lifted from her hold. Honeymaren had trapped him beneath one arm as she handed Elsa her coffee. Once she righted and took the coffee between her hands; Ryder was returned to the couch with a bounce.

She sat beside them when she reentered the room with her own coffee. From the corner of her eye, Honeymaren watched Elsa stiff the brim of her mug. A smirk tightened across her lips. Her eyes rolled and her brows lowered.

"Pumpkin…" Elsa glared.

"What did I tell you, Snowflake? It's growing on me…"

Ryder pulled himself up to stand between them. He bobbled over the cushions, holding onto his mother's shoulder to keep his balance.

"El'a here!" he told her.

Honeymaren laughed. "That's right, bud. Elsa's here!"

"I'm starting to think he might like me best…"

Honeymaren leered. Her eyes grew stern. "Keep dreaming, lady..."

Ryder responded by laying his feet in Elsa's lap. She tickled them again with her fingers. He squirmed, but didn't move away from her touch.

"So, is there anything you wanted to do today?" Honeymaren asked. She sipped her coffee and turned into the corner of the couch.

"Meaning?" Her brow arched. She mimicked Honeymaren's movements, and Ryder followed her.

"Meaning... it's Saturday, and I'm not sure what you usually like to do with your days off."

Elsa put down her coffee on the end table as Ryder climbed fully into her lap. "-other than catch up on work, you mean?" she laughed. "What do you two usually do?"

Shrugging, Honeymaren pursed her lips. "This…"

Elsa shook her head. "-and why wouldn't _this_ be okay with me? Besides, I have my computer here. I can get work done from your apartment just as easily as I can from mine."

"You say that now… but you obviously haven't tried to grade with a Ryder on your lap before." Honeymaren leaned forward to brush a hand over her son's head.

"Grading is a sacrifice I am willing to make."

Ryder looked up at Elsa. His hands tugged playfully at her hair.

"I think we've made enough sacrifices, you and I… From now on we should focus on just being happy instead."

Sliding her eyes to Honeymaren, Elsa smiled. "Is that your way of telling me you're happy?"

Honeymaren leaned in over Ryder's head. Her lips affectionately brushed Elsa's. "Yes, Snowflake… very happy."

* * *

Saturday floated by with ease. Amidst their new found comfort, their time together carried into the following day. Neither seemed willing to break the happy bubble they'd been living in. However, with Sunday coming to a close; both knew that moment was coming sooner than either would have liked.

Ryder was down for his afternoon nap. Honeymaren was tidying up the kitchen. Elsa had seated herself at the dining table while she went over her syllabus for the upcoming week.

She was intently reading through her notes. When Honeymaren came to stand beside the table, Elsa didn't notice her. Seeing her girl friend's brows lowered and her fully-attentive gaze, had Honeymaren smiling. She leaned over the bench seat. Her hand slipped under Elsa's chin. Honeymaren dragged her attention away from the computer and stole Elsa's lips with her own.

"Come with me," she whispered.

Elsa looked back at her computer, but wouldn't put up a fight. "Where are we going?"

Honeymaren winked."I have something for you,"

She pulled Elsa into the bedroom and sat her at the end of the mattress. Elsa watched as Honeymaren slowly make her way along the bookshelf. Her fingers teasingly trailed along the wood behind her. She stopped at the last row. Tucked between a candle and a succulent was a familiar brown paper bag.

Honeymaren carried it back to Elsa. She placed the bag in her lap. "Do you remember this?"

Elsa nodded. "From our first date… I did wonder…"

Honeymaren watched her hands tentatively slide over the top of the bag. "Go ahead, open it." she smiled.

Her expression turned skeptical. Elsa looked over the small package before raising her eyes to Honeymaren. "What is it?"

Glaring, Honeymaren nudged her playfully.

Elsa did as she was directed. Gently, she unfolded the opening. Her fingers slipped inside and she released the contents of the bag.

"It's a book?" she frowned and turned it over in her hands.

The book was small in size. Leather-bound, there were no markings nor a title on its cover. It appeared more like a notebook than a novel, but inside Elsa found printed words.

Confused, she turned back to Honeymaren.

"It's my book." she explained.

"Your book? You wrote a book?" Elsa's eyes enlarged.

"I did… over the summer… I had it printed for my bookshelf, but I haven't shared it with anyone yet…" Honeymaren's lips pursed and she shrugged.

"I- I don't understand… you wrote a book? You wrote a book, but you haven't shared it with anyone? What- why are you showing this to me?" Slowly, Elsa began to smile, gripping the leather a little tighter between her hands.

"It was ready from the printer on the night of our first date. I was being selfish, but I didn't want to wait until the next day to see it… I'm not sure I planned to give it to you then, but now…" she returned Elsa's smile. "-I don't know. I think it would make me happy to have you read it…"

"You wrote a book!" Elsa said again and pulled it against her chest. "You paint murals, and cook, and read, and you wrote a book!"

Elsa was shaking her head in awe. Her elation had Honeymaren blushing.

"I do, and I did…" she pulled the book from Elsa's hands and placed it on the bed. "- and I think I'm ready to let someone else read it."

Honeymaren leaned down to kiss her, but Elsa tried turning on her side. She fought to take the book back, but Honeymaren stopped her by catching Elsa's hands with her own.

"Patience, Snowflake…" she gently forced Elsa onto her back. "You'll have time to read later…"

"But you can't give me something like that and then tell me to wait!" she uncharacteristically pouted.

Soft lips moved across Elsa's jaw and started their descent down her neck. Subconsciously, she dropped her head back to give Honeymaren easier access.

"As flattered as I am that you're so excited about this…" Honeymaren's words tickled against the skin of Elsa's throat. "-I'd much rather take this time to appreciate my beautiful, supportive, girlfriend…"

A gasp pulled past her lips as Honeymaren's teeth grazed her ear. "Hmm… is that so?"

She drew back to see Elsa's perfectly arched brow. Honeymaren had known she won, but seeing Elsa's rapidly darkening expression; she had to wonder who, in that moment, the real winner was?

"I've said this before, but you, _Snowflake_, will be the death of me…"

With a quick tug of her hand, she had Elsa sitting upright. Honeymaren dragged her from the bed and into the living room. From behind her, Elsa's hands had already found tan, heated skin. Her fingers ducked beneath Honeymaren's shirt and slid tantalizingly slow up from her stomach.

Honeymaren turned on her in an instant. She pulled the bedroom door closed behind them. Elsa was quick to free Honeymaren from her shirt before their lips were directed together.

Honeymaren pushed her backwards, leading her toward the couch. The backs of Elsa's knees connected with ottoman. She came to a halt and Honeymaren grinned. Seeing Elsa's eyes dark and breathing labored had excitement coursing through her own skim.

She pressed down on her shoulder. Elsa was forced to sit at the edge of the cushion. Lowering to her, Honeymaren straddled her. She directed her knees to cradle Elsa's hips beneath her own.

Her hands found blonde hair. "I wasn't counting on this, you know…"

Elsa's eyes flickered between Honeymaren's and the lips inching closer towards her. "Counting on what?"

Guiding Elsa onto her back, she looked down at her. "This… I can't stop thinking about this… about you, Elsa."

Her hands pushed up from her waist. Honeymaren savoured every curve and crest beneath her finger tips. Elsa was trembling beneath her. Be it the words or Honeymaren's hands, she turned to liquid under her touch. Elsa's eyes followed the lustful gaze that trailed over her shirt and up her neck. She had to wonder how long it had been since she'd been looked at like this.

Yet, right then and there, Elsa was fairly certain no one had or ever would look at her the same way Honeymaren did.

"Don't…" was all Elsa could bring herself to say.

Honeymaren sank lower on top of her. "Don't what?"

"Don't stop thinking about me," she breathed.

Grinning, Honeymaren touched her lips to Elsa's. "Looking like you do, Snowflake… _never_."

Elsa's fingers circled around Honeymaren's waist and settled against her back. She quickly unclasped her bra. Tossing it aside, Elsa leaned up and accepted the lips that had found hers. Though distracted, Honeymaren managed to sneak her hands beneath the fabric of Elsa's shirt. A tongue slipped between her lips, and Honeymaren sighed against her. The idea of pulling away from Elsa to release her shirt was suddenly painful. At the thought, Honeymaren groaned and tucked an arm behind Elsa's neck. She lifted Elsa's back from the ottoman. Their lips still sealed together.

Working the shirt free from her arms, Honeymaren pulled away only long enough to draw the shirt over Elsa's head.

When Honeymaren found her lips again, the phone rang.

She was lowering Elsa back onto the cushion and stubbornly refused to acknowledge it. However, the noise was blatantly annoying and killing the mood face. It seemed to grow louder with each passing second, causing Elsa's eyes to reopen. She frowned watching Honeymaren fight it. When it finally silenced, both women believed they had won.

Unfortunately though, when Elsa's eyes closed, the noise began again.

With a hand to her chest, Elsa pushed her upright. Honeymaren sighed and slid from Elsa's waist. "I'll be right back," she promised.

Tan and topless, Honeymaren disappeared into the kitchen. Elsa sat up as she waited for her to return. From beyond the wall she heard Honeymaren answer the phone. Her tone went from confused to surprised in a matter of seconds.

Elsa watched her slowly re-enter the room. Her eyes were wide as she held the cellphone against her ear. Honeymaren covered an arm around her waist and her shoulders shrugged uncomfortably into her neck.

"I- thank you for that…" she managed.

Rotating toward her, Elsa's head tilted to the side. She watched Honeymaren blink and her jaw, waver.

"Yes, I see, but perhaps it would be better to discuss the rest in person?"

Elsa's frown continued to deepen.

"I- I understand. Thank you for letting me know…" Honeymaren said her goodbyes and hung up the phone.

She tossed it onto the couch, but didn't return immediately to Elsa as she'd planned. Instead she sauntered toward her slowly. Her brown eyes held at the floor. Honeymaren tentatively sat next to her, and her lips drew to the side.

She met Elsa's stare. "That was, um, Belle..." Honeymaren explained.

"Oh…" her brows tucked. "What did she want?"

Dragging a hand through her hair, Honeymaren sighed. "She was letting me know that my weekly schedule would be changing to accommodate the new program."

"I see…" Elsa's tone heightened in understanding.

"Don't worry about it, okay?" Honeymaren forced a smile. "I didn't want to tell Belle over the phone about my decision to turn down the position. You and I haven't had the chance to talk about it yet, but I want to make sure Belle understands my reasoning."

"You're going to tell her?" Elsa's eyes enlarged.

"No, no!" Honeymaren caught her hands. "I just meant- it's polieter coming from me in person…"

Anxiety lingered beneath her wrinkled expression. "It's okay… if you want- I mean… I would understand if you want to take the job. I want you to take the job… if you think you should…"

Honeymaren brushed Elsa's hair behind her ears. "No more sacrifices, remember?"

Elsa stiffened. She shook her head. "By doing this you'd be sacrificing everything for me!"

Her eyes lowered to her. "It's not a sacrifice if I want to do it, Snowflake."

Sliding from the ottoman, Elsa crossed her arms. "You're giving up a promotion for personal reasons; reasons that have nothing to do with you! That's the exact definition of a sacrifice!" Her hands went to her hips.

Honeymaren fished around the floor for her shirt. She slid it over her head and stood to join Elsa on her feet. "I would be sacrificing more if I moved forward with the promotion, don't you see that? If I take that position it would make you uncomfortable. I'd have to spend time with someone who you have actively tried to remove from your life. Why would I want to take a job like that? I don't want to put space between us, Elsa- not when I'm still working out how we can move forward together."

She looked at Honeymaren unbelievingly. Her mouth tipped to respond, but the words wouldn't come.

"What would you have me do?" Honeymaren asked.

"What?"

Taking Elsa's arms between her hands, Honeymaren stepped forward. "What would you have me do? If I could make you happy, what would that look like to you?"

Her jaw wavered. "I-I don't know… I haven't thought about it…"

"Let's think about it, then." Honeymaren pulled her toward the couch. She sat and dragged Elsa beside her. "Tomorrow when I go to work, Helga is going to approach me about the new position… What would you like me to say to her?"

Elsa shrugged. Her eyes pulled to her lap. "I- I'm not sure," she frowned. "Tell her you're grateful for the opportunity..."

"And you're going to what… avoid the library for the rest of your life?"

Hearing Honeymaren's pitch change, Elsa looked up. "I could…"

Her head shook and Honeymaren sighed. "That's silly, Elsa, and it's not fair to yourself to have to start walking around campus like you're afraid to see her. I'm not going to take the job because I don't want to, but it would be easier if you could be there with me when I tell her. Let's make it so she knows exactly _why_ I don't want the job."

Elsa's breathing hitched. Her back straightened. "No, I- I couldn't…"

"Why not?" Honeymaren leveled. "You're not ashamed of me, are you?"

She could see Honeymaren was teasing her, but it hadn't made responding any easier. Elsa shifted slightly and pulled her legs into her chest. "You know it doesn't have anything to do with you…"

"I know that, Elsa… but I'm telling you now- make it about me."

Her arms crossed over her knees. "That doesn't make any sense."

Smiling, Honeymaren dragged Elsa stubbornly into her side. Her hand massaged through her hair and Elsa was forced to loosen her grip on her legs.

"It makes perfect sense to me… We go to Helga together. I tell her I can't take the job and by being there; you show her that you've moved on and that there's no longer room for her in your life."

Elsa stifled a breath. Her back arched away from Honeymaren's arm. "Do you understand what you're asking of me?"

Slowly nodding, Honeymaren directed a finger beneath Elsa's chin. She leaned forward and brushed their lips together. "Go with me, and then I will buy you coffee afterwards…"

Elsa snorted. "Nice try…"

Honeymaren thought again. Their lips remained teasingly close together. "More M&Ms?" Elsa shook her head. "Hmm…" Honeymaren slipped her hand beneath the wire of Elsa's bra. "I'm sure I could think of some way to motivate you…"

Elsa swatted her hand away. "Not funny…" she lowered her eyes. "This is serious!"

"I know! Which requires serious motivation, Snowflake…"

In an instant, Honeymaren had Elsa splayed on her back along the couch. She came to hover over her. Her lips worked across her jaw and stopped just below Elsa's ear.

"Come with me…" she whispered. Her nose brushed the soft skin of Elsa's ear.

She shook her head.

"I could do it without you, you know?" Honeymaren said, rising higher onto her knees. "I'll tell Helga I'm turning down the job because my sexy, intelligent, blue-eyed girlfriend is more important to me than her pandering… but then who will be there to defend me if she gets mad?"

Elsa rolled her eyes. "You don't look like someone who needs defending."

"Oh, but I do... " She watched Elsa turn away. Honeymaren groaned at the sight. "Come on, don't be like this! You know you're going to feel so much better once you've confronted her, head on!"

Lips pursing, Elsa slowly brought her eyes back to Honeymaren's. Her chin tipped and she leveled her with a stare. "Maybe." she stated shortly.

A smile started its way across her cheeks. "I'll take maybe, Snowflake… and I'm sure I could think of a way to turn that _maybe_ into a definite _yes_…"

Her grin pulled tight into a smirk and Honeymaren descended the length of Elsa's legs.

"_Yes_ doesn't count if I'm saying it for other reasons..." she dryly prompted.

Honeymaren ran her finger down the length of Elsa's torso. "In this house, _yes_ counts for everything, and don't you forget it."

* * *

_Cheers,_

_-M. _


	19. Chapter 19

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen**

* * *

**"You're doing great! Look at you go!"**

Elsa's eyes slid to view Honeymaren as they walked across the quad. Her face was pale. The blue in her eyes had dimmed significantly, and she felt her temperature rising across every inch of her skin.

"I really do hate you. I hope you know that…" she mumbled.

"Good," Honeymaren encouraged. Her hands landed on Elsa's shoulders from behind. "Keep that hateful energy going, and this plan will work out fantastically!"

"I still stand by my plan. I liked it better."

Smirking, Honeymaren continued steering her toward the library doors. "Well, I'm sorry to say that if we went with your idea, there would've been no plan at all."

"Precisely." Elsa sang. She crossed her arms in defiance. "I could be home right now, or anywhere else but here..."

"-but imagine how much better you'll feel once this is all over?" Honeymaren held the door for her.

Elsa eyed her skeptically. With a sigh, she passed through the archway and moved to the side.

"A little confrontation won't kill you." Honeymaren reminded her. "Hey, and with a little luck; it might even be good for you. Think of all the parking ticket you'll have the confidence to talk yourself out of after this is over… Now, come on! Let's stick to the plan."

Holding out her hand, Honeymaren flashed her a grin. Elsa hesitated. Her shoulders drew back and she sighed before lacing their fingers together. Honeymaren led her forward. She squeezed her palm, tugging Elsa against her hip.

Elsa's heart was in her ears as they crossed the barren lobby. With her free hand, she straightened her skirt and brushed down her hair; anything to keep her panic from growing. Still, Honeymaren kept her moving forward.

"Good morning!"

It was only Belle, but Elsa couldn't stop herself from jumping out of her skin. Belle was in the office behind the service desk. She was hanging up her coat on the rack beside the door as she smiled at Honeymaren. Her eyes briefly glanced down at their hands, but she didn't question it.

"Is Helga in yet?' Honeymaren asked her.

She let go of Elsa's hand and slid her bag from off her back. Setting it beneath the service desk, her attention returned to Belle.

"She said to meet her in the media lounge," she explained. "There's a few board members with her, though. Be on your A-Game today, Nattura."

Honeymaren couldn't hide her deflation. With her lips pulled to the side, she looked to Elsa. She ran a hand over her face and pouted as it fell away.

But Elsa was already shaking her head. "I understand. Don't worry about it. This isn't the appropriate time anymore."

"You're not getting off that easy!" Honeymaren teased. Yet Elsa was already backing away.

"We'll talk more later," she assured her. "I'll see you for lunch?"

She had her back to them in an instant. Honeymaren watched as she quickly made her way toward the exit. She knew Elsa was relieved to not have to confront Helga now, but this delay was only prolonging their stress about it.

"That's Professor Aren, right?" Belle slipped in at her side. "Is everything alright with her?"

Honeymaren slowly nodded. "It will be, soon, hopefully..."

"Well I guess your pining finally paid off, then? Hmm..." Belle sank her elbow into Honeymaren's side, but she didn't respond.

This was meant to be done and dealt with, however, now she'd be forced to put on a face and go back to the job she was supposed to turn down.

* * *

"_I'll be done here shortly and then I'll come join you for lunch."_

Looking down at her phone, Elsa sighed. Part of her longed for weeks prior, when if she was feeling this way, no one would be any wiser. She could hide away all on her own and distract herself with work. Unfortunately, Elsa was no longer in the position to do that. And if she were being honest, she didn't want to.

The emotional turmoil caused by that morning's near-confrontation was weighing heavy on her. She knew Honeymaren was the only person who'd be able to pull her from the funk.

"_Looking forward to it." _she responded.

A small grin tugged at her cheeks. It was easier to forget about her past when all she was thinking about now was thirty minutes of food and mindless flirting. The two had a routine going. Try as anyone might, there'd be no sacrificing it now.

And Elsa knew what she was feeling. She recognized the expanding sensation that coursed through her chest when she thought about Honeymaren. She remembered the heat of her face and the way her stomach fluttered like mad. Yet, she also knew that this knowledge should frighten her. Elsa should want to run from it; plagued by the memories of what had happened to her in the past.

As it turned out though, fear was the furthest thought from her mind. That knowledge had her giddy. There was concern that Honeymaren might not feel the same way yet, but the excitement of wanting to tell her was more powerful. The rest of it; well, Elsa simply enjoyed knowing that for once- whatever happened, they'd be okay regardless.

A quiet knock at the door had her head turning.

"That was quick," she teased as it opened.

Yet suddenly, her throat was dry. Her heart dropped from her chest entirely, and she subconsciously rolled her chair back until it connected with the desk. In that moment Elsa could only bring herself to blink. The words on her tongue gave way to a nearly inaudible gasp.

"My, my... The years have been awfully kind to you, Elsa Aren."

Her face. Her voice. In the span of a second, everything came flooding back at once. Jostled by a half-decade of memories, Elsa was startled to her feet.

"Oh, don't get up on my accord..."

Feminine hands closed the door, and Helga Sinclair turned to face her. Her lips tugged to the side in an all-too familiar smirk.

At the sight of it, Elsa grew dizzy.

"Cat got your tongue?" Helga teased.

Yellow hair cascaded over her shoulder in a messy braid. She wore a tight black turtleneck and a pair of high-waisted slacks. Helga looked exactly how she had four years ago, and the effect it had on Elsa was nauseating.

"What are you doing here?" she finally breathed.

Whether she meant here as in the school, or here as in her office; Elsa didn't know. She was struggling to force her demeanor into the angriest display she could manage. Instead though, Elsa looked scared and small, all but tucked into the corner of her desk.

"Oh Elsa…" Helga batted a hand at her. She sat in the empty chair beside Elsa's desk and crossed her legs. "I'm not naive enough to believe you didn't know I was on campus."

A brief spike of confidence flashed through her. Elsa crossed her arms. "I did know, but my question remains- what are you doing _here_?"

Helga's smile was soft and sincere. She was obviously pleased to hear Elsa was aware of her arrival.

"I was offered a position on the board by an old coworker of mine. I'll admit, resource technology isn't really my specialty, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping for the chance to see you again. Besides, a change of pace was exactly what the doctor ordered."

Elsa pushed further back into the edge of her desk. "I knew it. I knew it had something to do with me! Why couldn't you just leave well-enough alone and stay away?"

Her perfectly-manicured brow lifted. "You were the one who decided to leave us on bad terms, Elsa. I only wanted the opportunity to speak to you again; to apologize for what happened."

"I don't need your apologies!" Elsa defended. "I need to be allowed to move on!"

Something subtle in Helga shifted. Her hands splayed over her top knee and she turned her head to view Elsa's bulletin board.

"You transferred thirty minutes down the road… That's not exactly 'moving on', dear. That sounds like someone who wants to be found, in my opinion. After all, you should know better than anyone how small this state's academic community is. It took no effort on my end, whatsoever, to figure out where you had gone."

"Why now, then?" Elsa's hands fought to her hips. "Why confront me now after all these years? If I wanted to see you, I would have come on my own!"

Helga pushed herself to stand, but didn't dare a step closer. "I was hoping time would help settle our differences… I understood how upset you were after the accident. That's why I gave you space, but now… I needed to see you again, Elsa. Is that so wrong of me?"

She couldn't fight the harsh clench of her teeth as they ground together. "What's wrong, is you still referring to your son's attempt to kill me as an accident! You should have stayed away! You should have never come here. I don't have any desire to settle anything between us anymore because you blew it! You wasted my time, and look- you still are!"

Tilting her head, Helga's eyes slowly traced Elsa from head to toe. "This is new…" she mused. "-this forward, aggressive side of you… I can't say I'm not a little surprised."

"Well, you always did like your romantic investments to be more inferior than you…." her voice rang dryly.

"I wasn't aware we were resorting to insults now…"

Elsa chose not to respond. She allowed her fury to carry over her face until Helga could ignore it no longer.

"Listen, Elsa, this isn't how I wanted it to be between us now. If we could just take a step back, ignore the past, and catch up like old friends… I'd love to hear about the work you've been doing here, and i'd be happy to fill you in on my plans for the school…. We could have dinner- a public place with no pressure..."

Reeling in a sharp intake of air, Elsa shook her head. "I am really not interested in sharing anything about my life with you anymore. Like I said, you've made a mistake in coming here."

"I'm sure the school board would beg to differ… They accepted my generous contribution to the library earlier this morning. Getting rid of me again won't be as easy this time around."

There it was- the conversation Elsa had most feared. Helga had no intentions of leaving the school. She was stuck with her once again. Elsa would either have to learn to work in the same environment with Helga, or request a transfer to another university.

"Please, leave my office," she said with her eyes turned to the floor.

"Consider having dinner with me first, and then I'll go."

Her attention pulled forward. Seeing Helga's soft expression had Elsa's cheeks burning with discomfort. "No. No ultimatums. I need you to leave now! I have work to do and this visit has been more than enough, I promise you that."

A short knock on the door had both women turning.

Honeymaren entered the office with a grin, but it quickly fell away when she saw the room occupied.

In that moment, Elsa had never felt happier to see her here. If she hadn't been certain before, she was now. _Elsa was in love with Honeymaren._

"Miss Sinclair…." she feigned perfectly. "How strange for you to be spending your lunch here, too."

Honeymaren crossed the room, handing Elsa her coffee. She accepted it graciously and was more than grateful for the distraction.

Turning back to Helga, Honeymaren stood at Elsa's side. She clasped her coffee cup between two hands. Her eyes stayed on Helga's as she took a long, slow sip.

Helga appeared to be working something out. Her brow lowered in confusion. "Miss Nattura, yes…" she grinned. "Miss Aren and I are old friends from Ahtohallan. We were just taking some time to catch up!"

Honeymaren nodded. "I see… it's a small world, it appears…" she turned to Elsa with a reassuring shrug. "Though, the whole small world scenario tends to grey a little when my new boss turns out to be my current girlfriend's ex, wouldn't you say?"

"Girlfriend?" Helga straightened. "I was unaware…"

Her eyes snapped back. "Yes well, I meant to say something to you earlier this morning, but doing so in front of the board felt... _unprofessional_."

Turning her head to each side, Helga's forehead continued to wrinkle. "You knew about Elsa and I the whole time and never said anything?"

"In Maren's defense… I told her about our history after she'd already accepted the job. She was not aware until later that day." Elsa set her coffee down and crossed her arms.

Humming, Helga lifted her chin. "I suppose I understand why you'd want to keep this information from reaching the board. It certainly wouldn't look good to the other staff members if they knew Maren had an advantage in receiving her raise."

Honeymaren snorted and rolled her eyes. "I wasn't exactly worried for my sake, but I _do_ appreciate your concern…"

Helga ignored her. She stepped closer to the two women with her lips pursed. "So where do we go from here, then? I'll admit, I'm feeling a little caught off guard. Here I thought Elsa and I would play a quick game of catch up. But never could I have imagined I'd have to negotiate a conduct agreement with one of my new employees as well."

"Actually…" Honeymaren's lips curled. "That won't be necessary. I've just come from speaking to the head of the board. As it turns out, reference management doesn't count towards my professional hours for my certification. I'm due to return to my old position tomorrow morning."

Helga bit down on her inner-cheek and nodded. "I will choose to believe you, though I can't say I'm not disappointed. That job would have been a real stepping stone for someone like you."

The anger Honeymaren was feeling finally fought for its escape. "Listen, Helga. I know everything. I've seen _everything_... Don't assume for one minute that you're welcome here. Now, both Elsa and I are fully aware that you have a job to do, but that does not permit you a place in either of our lives, understood?"

Honeymaren's brow lifted, taunting her. "Well, I can certainly see now where Elsa's new-found attitude has sparked from..."

"Enough!" Elsa laid her hands flat between them. "You got what you wanted! You saw me, but I'm afraid that's all you'll be allowed from here on out… I've moved on. I'm happy now, and it took entirely too long to recover from the time you and I spent together to be willing to open that door ever again!"

Elsa felt warmth course throughout the small of her back as Honeymaren's hand came to rest there.

Fists tightening at her sides, Helga looked like she wanted to say more. Instead, she released her fingers. She reeled in a deep breath and her face softened.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way, Elsa; and to you, Honeymaren." Her back tensed further as she took a step toward the door. "Those weren't the proudest years of my life, I assure you. And I regret how they affected you in the way that they did."

She turned for the exit. Helga didn't waste a second as she pulled it open and strutted fiercely away.

Elsa blinked after her. Honeymaren's hand pressed into her back and she turned.

"Are you okay?" she asked, concerned.

Blue eyes slowly slid to find brown. "Yeah… I think I am… I didn't expect her to make that as easy as she just did."

"Do you believe it? Do you think she'll back off?" Honeymaren's fingers traveled down to find Elsa's. She laced them together before giving them a quick squeeze.

"I don't know…" Elsa shrugged. "I want to say yes, but I suppose there's no harm in speaking to my lawyer still. Maybe I can file for that no-contact agreement… As much as I don't like the idea of her working here, that could be my best option for now."

Honeymaren stepped in front of her, placing her lips against Elsa's temple. "I'm proud of you, you know that?"

"Yeah?" she smiled. "I think I'm proud of myself, too… and thank you; for helping me do this…"

Honeymaren laughed. "Well, I did kind of force you into it…"

"-but for all the right reasons. I see that now..." Elsa took a generous sip of her coffee before her eyes widened in thought. "Wait! What you said before- about the board. Was that true?"

Honeymaren slid away from her. She shook her head and her attention circled the floor. "Not exactly… that's what I told them, but I don't think they'll look into it."

"You lied to the board? For me?" Elsa crossed her arms.

"Relax, Snowflake. Not one of them even knows what my degree is in. Don't worry about it, because I'm not going to."

She leaned between them and sank her lips into Elsa's. When she pulled back, Honeymaren was smirking.

"So... what are your plans for the rest of the afternoon? What do you say, wanna cut out early with me? We can pick up Ry and take it easy…"

Elsa longingly looked to the mountain of paperwork covering her desk. "This relationship is really starting to affect my productivity, you know?"

Rolling her eyes, Honeymaren's hand came down to squeeze Elsa's hip. "What if I promised you a really big dinner and M&Ms?"

"You'd promise me that anyway." Elsa teased, but the Honeymaren dropped her lip. "Fine!" her hands raised. "-but I have work to do once we get there. No distractions, promise?"

Honeymaren lifted two fingers beside her head. "Scouts honor- now, come on! Grab your things and let's get out of here!"

Her hand went to the door.

"Wait!" Elsa called out.

She caught Honeymaren's collar and kissed her with all her weight. "Thank you again… for everything."

* * *

_Cheers,_

_M._

* * *

**Story Update: **Before I move on, it should be stated that when I first outlined this story- Helga was a total backstory. She was never meant to make an appearance in the plot. However, as writers we know things don't always turn out as we've planned. When I was working with how to introduce her character, the bit about Helga and Honeymaren working together just kind of slid out of my fingers. That being said, she actually has very little to do with the big arch. I asked a few dedicated readers for their opinion about rambling through whatever ideas come out of me, and everyone seemed pretty on board. I'm trying to stick to the outline as much as possible, but during this chaotic time… it's just not happening.

Moving forward- the next chapter is right back on plot. I'm sorry if this feels a little 'woah' for you all, but I'm taking things day by day here. I could write forever, but I have a feeling I'll start losing readers if I do that.

**Next Chapter: **Elsa's incharge. What does that mean? Let me know what your guesses are...


	20. Chapter 20

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Twenty**

* * *

**It was a sporadic midmorning phone call that had Elsa parking outside of Mayweather Montessori. **The time on Honeymaren's clock read 11:53am. Rain poured down from the skies. The wind was howling, but Elsa couldn't be bothered to care.

She stepped from the sedan and rushed to the entryway. This time, she was confident she'd get through the doors.

_Breathless and with tears in her eyes, Honeymaren had stood under the awning to the university library. She handed Elsa her car keys and her code to the daycare. _

"_You really don't mind?" she had asked. Her expression was both skeptical and anxious._

_Elsa leveled her with a low stare. "Of course I don't mind."_

"_It's just- I can't leave… I have a mandatory staff meeting! My mother is at a conference in New York City, and Rico-"_

"_Honeymaren," she placed a hand to her shoulder, effectively silencing her. "Ryder is sick. My classes are done for the day. It's not a problem, I assure you."_

_Honeymaren released a breath. Still, her face remained unsure. "Really? Really, really?"_

"_Yes, really…" Elsa ginned. "Now, do what you need to do. I promise, Ryder will be fine with me."_

_Brown eyes scanned her slowly. Honeymaren was looking for any sign that Elsa might not be telling the truth, but she wouldn't find one there. _

"_Thank you, Elsa," the smile she returned was weak at best. _

_Honeymaren quickly kissed her cheek before darting back off into the library. _

That was how Elsa found herself standing outside of classroom one. With a tentative hand, she released the door and quietly entered. The school was more occupied than the last time she'd been here on her own. A dozen pairs of small eyes looked up from their lunches. Two standing teachers welcomed Elsa in with a grin.

Ryder was in the arms of a woman on the other side of the room. When he saw her, his head lifted from his teacher's chest. He reached out to her and his blue eyes began to water.

"El'a!" he cried. He weakly fought to be put down.

With her lip pulled low, Elsa went to him. The teacher easily transitioned Ryder into her arms. His face buried into her neck and he latched his hands against her back.

"He's warm…" she frowned. "Has he taken anything?"

The teacher shook her head. "His fever is 101.3/38.5. He has acetaminophen on his approved list, but unfortunately his medication basket was empty when we checked."

She smiled as Millie came to stand at her side. Elsa placed a hand on her head and turned back to the teacher. "No worries... I'll get him something on the way home. What else do you need from me?"

Ryder's teacher shrugged. "We have your id on file already. You can just sign him out and grab his things- Oh! And, please, remind Miss Nattura that Ryder needs to be fever-free for twenty four hours before he can return."

"Of course," Elsa nodded. "We'll keep an eye on him."

She watched Millie waddle back over to the table and sit down in front of her food. Apparently, she was completely unphased by her Aunt's arrival. Elsa took the opportunity and moved over to the book. She signed Ryder out, while his death grip moved to circle her neck.

She was grabbing his jacket and backpack when the teacher slid in at Elsa's side. She placed a hand on her shoulder, and Elsa turned.

The woman handed her a folded slip of paper. "If you could, please get this to Miss Nattura as well."

With a frown, Elsa accepted the paper. She slipped it into the side pocket of Ryder's bag.

"We hope he feels better soon…" the teacher stroked his back.

"Us too," Elsa smiled.

She offered a quick thanks before leaving the room.

Once at the car, Ryder was not-so easily transitioned into his car seat. He fought for Elsa's arms, but didn't have the strength to keep it up. He was weak, and that had Elsa feeling terrible. She'd never cared for a sick child before. It was heartbreaking.

"We'll get you some medicine and have you feeling better in no time!" she promised him and stroked his cheek.

Together they made their way to the pharmacy. The entire time, Elsa had Ryder tucked against her chest with a hand to his back. He'd stopped crying, but his whines proved not even a hug could distract from how awful he felt. Holding him in one arm and the basket in the other, Elsa couldn't help but notice the looks she received from other shoppers. Some pitied her. Others looked skeptical.

"You really should be ashamed of yourself!"

One woman tutted as Elsa placed the acetaminophen in her basket. She turned to the woman, frowning.

"-bringing your sick child on your outings! That poor boy should be at home in bed! Just look at him…"

She walked away with a shake of her head. Elsa wished she could bring herself to respond, but she'd been startled silent.

Understandably, the stranger had her feeling angry. How dare she pass judgment on her. However, the real source of Elsa's emotions was the thought of Honeymaren. She had to put up with these needless comments all the time, while Elsa was only just beginning to understand this side of people.

She held Ryder a little tighter as they finished their shopping. He must have been content. Before they reached the counter he had fallen fast asleep with his head against her shoulder.

When Elsa arrived back at the exit, she found the same old woman struggling to open the door. Watching her fumble was ironic, but Elsa was kind. With Ryder in one arm and her groceries balanced in the same hand; Elsa held the door to her.

The woman looked her over, almost embarrassed in her expression. "Thank you…" she mumbled and quickly passed through.

Elsa smiled to herself. _Kindness always won._

* * *

Getting inside Honeymaren's apartment was not as easy, though. Between the bags, Ryder, and his backpack; now it was them who was fumbling to get through a door.

Her situation only continued to worsen from there. As they stepped into the foyer, Ryder began to cry. Elsa was closing the door when the warmth of something very specific descended down her back. It was wet, and there was a terrible smell that came with it.

Elsa's eyes shot wide when she realized what was happening.

Dropping the bags at her feet, she pulled Ryder back to look at him. He was covered in his own sickness. The state of him had Ryder crying harder, and Elsa pouting sincerely. His blue eyes were glazed with fever. His complexion was pale.

"Oh, buddy…" Elsa sighed.

She ignored the bags as she hurried him off to the bathroom. Very quickly, she stripped him of his clothes and pulled off her own, stained shirt. Elsa wiped him down with a washcloth before replacing him in his pajamas. Not even the comfort of warm clothes could calm him now.

When they entered the living room, Elsa laid him down on the couch. His eyes slowly followed while she turned his cartoons on the TV. After a minute of sitting beside him, Ryder's whimpers faded. When Elsa walked away, he didn't protest. In fact, he barely noticed when she returned a minute later.

She had his juice cup, medicine, and backpack. Elsa's hair was wet and pulled high into a messy bun. She'd rinsed out what she could in the kitchen sink before slipping into one of Honeymaren's flannels that had been left by the front door.

Sitting him up right, getting Ryder to take his medicine was a project all on its own. It made opening the door to the apartment look easy. Elsa was surprised that she managed to keep the medicine off his clothes as she chased his mouth with the plastic syringe. Once he gave up and had suffered through swallowing most of it, Elsa handed him his cup. Ryder was crying again, but took a slow sip anyway. The liquid in his stomach had him recoiling. He dropped the cup as a wave of sickness spread over him. Frightened, Ryder raised his arms and demanded to be held.

He was much more content in Elsa's arms than he had been on his own. He weakly held onto her before dozing off with his head against her chest. Even in his dream state, the sickness took its toll. He shivered through the chills and body aches. Ryder's little eyelids flickered with fever.

Using her foot, Elsa pulled his bag onto the couch. She fought his blanket out of the big pocket and covered his back. Ryder curled into her instantly. His tiny snores began, and Elsa couldn't help but smile.

When she went to put the bag back on the ground, Elsa noticed the letter from his teacher sticking out of the side. The bright red letters across the fold had her eyes growing wide.

***FINAL NOTICE***

Elsa knew she shouldn't, but she grabbed the letter anyway. Slowly, she unfolded it and her heart began to sink.

...

_Miss Nattura, _

_This is your final notice for your outstanding balance of $4,000. At this time, please refer to your parent handbook for more information on late and non-payments. In order for Ryder to continue his education at Mayweather Montessori, please make your partial payment of $1,500 by Monday November, 16th. _

_If you have any questions or concerns, contact the billing office._

_D. Patricia Halven_

_..._

As Elsa refolded the letter she suddenly felt as ill as Ryder did; but for vastly different reasons. Honeymaren was having financial issues. Ryder was sick and on the verge of being kicked out of school. Honeymaren needed to work in order to pay for his childcare, yet it was evident she wasn't making nearly enough. Elsa couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't said anything to her. Did Honeymaren think she would judge her, or look down on her because of this?

Honeymaren was always too concerned with keeping up her facade as super-mom. Elsa knew that, and respected it, but there was more to the situation here than she previously believed.

Unfortunately, Elsa wasn't supposed to know any of this, though. She had violated Honeymaren's privacy by opening the letter, and which would cause her more guilt- knowing of her struggles, or breaking Honeymaren's trust? Elsa didn't know. She should pretend she'd never seen it, but would she be able to?

Stuffing the letter back into Ryder's bag, Elsa was already doubting it.

* * *

When Honeymaren stumbled into her apartment nearly three hours later, it was after four pm. Elsa was standing in the kitchen with Ryder in her arms. He was asleep as she stirred the pot over the stove. Drool dripped down onto the flannel she'd stolen, but Elsa didn't care.

"How is he?" Honeymaren smiled weakly.

She dropped her bag on the bench at the dining table and Elsa turned Ryder's head to her.

"Aw… he looks terrible…" she moaned.

Honeymaren mournfully pulled him onto her chest. Ryder didn't wake. His head was replaced against his mother's shoulder and his arms fell limply at his side.

"Ugh! He feels terrible, too…" Honeymaren placed her hand on Ryder's forehead with a frown.

"I've been keeping an eye on the fever. So far he hasn't exceeded 101/38, but you should continue to monitor it throughout the night. I also managed to get some Pedialyte into him, but solid foods are a no-go, I'm afraid… I'm making soup for dinner, hoping he might be able to keep down some broth instead… We'll have to see…"

Honeymaren stepped towards her, but she held up a hand.

Seeing her brown eyes continue to lower, Elsa laughed. "It's not you… it's me… I'm, uh- I'm covered in baby puke… I hadn't gotten a chance to clean myself up yet."'

Her brows shot to her hairline. "Oh my god! He threw up on you!" Honeymaren cheeks burned beneath her embarrassment.

"It's fine!" Elsa assured her. "He couldn't help it, and it's really not a big deal! I promise."

Honeymaren groaned. "Still! I never would have asked you to take care of him if I'd known he was sick like _that_!"

"Mare, It's okay… _really_… You had a meeting to go to, and it was easier from me to get away. I didn't mind helping. Besides, if I'm being honest- I felt honored that you asked…"

Elsa modestly shrugged. Honeymaren eyed her skeptically, her attention pulling slowly across Elsa's face.

"Honored?" she finally asked with a tilt of her head.

"Yeah… honored. You trusted me enough to take care of your son. I know it wasn't easy for you, but I'm glad you did…"

Ignoring Elsa's warning, Honeymaren stepped toward her. Her lips pulled briefly to the side before she kissed her. Honeymaren's nose brushed against Elsa's.

"You do smell…" she teased.

Elsa rolled her eyes. "I do… Now, would you prefer I got out of your hair for the evening, or would you like for me to stay and help you out?"

She was giving Honeymaren the opportunity to turn her away if she felt she should. Elsa knew how much asking her to help had taxed Honeymaren already. She didn't want to burden her thoughts further by continuing to pitch in.

Pouting, Honeymaren's hand caught against the collar of the flannel. "Stay…" she softly demanded. "-please… Shower and I'll find you more clothes to steal."

"Hey, don't fault me for wearing your clothes when we both know you get just as much enjoyment from it as I do…"

She slid away from her, flashing Honeymaren a smirk. Elsa departed to the bathroom. She wouldn't say it allowed for fear she'd hurt Honeymaren's feelings, but she was eager to rid herself of the stench. She hadn't batted an eye when Ryder threw up on her. She knew it was beyond his control, but that did not mean she'd like for it to ever happen again.

When she left the bath in only a towel a half hour later, Elsa found Honeymaren lounging on the bed. Ryder was belly down at the center. His thumb had wedged between his lips as he slept. Elsa softly smiled at him before slipping the sweatshirt Honeymaren had left out for her, over the towel. She let it fall to her feet. Wringing out her hair, she bent over and replaced the towel on the door knob. When she turned around, Honeymaren still intently watched her. Brown eyes followed Elsa into the leggings and onto the bed beside them.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Elsa propped up on her elbow.

Honeymaren did the same. Her expression remained pensive. "I'm not sure I should say…"

Slightly frowning, Elsa dropped her eyes to Ryder. Her hand tentatively reached out to stoke his back.

"You're insane! Did you know that?" she teased. "You're sitting there believing you must have done something wrong, but that's so far from what I was thinking, it's not even funny!"

Elsa's brow arched as her attention returned. " Go on and tell me, then."

Honeymaren exhaled slowly. "Okay… but if I do, you can't go getting weird on me, alright?"

Unable to hide her skepticism, Elsa merely stared. Honeymaren had moved from pensive to anxious so quickly, it had Elsa's head reeling.

"You do understand how saying that would make me feel weird, right?"

Groaning, Honeymaren flopped onto her back. She closed her eyes and dragged a hand over her face. "This shouldn't be this complicated!"

"-then why are you making it?" Elsa teased.

Faster than she could blink, Honeymaren sat up. With her legs crossed, she turned to Elsa. Her expression was serious. Her hands balled into fists in her lap, and she stared hard at the mattress.

"You took care of Ryder for me today…" Honeymaren began without a breath. "Four days ago you confronted your ex who had put you through years of emotional abuse. I was so proud, and I don't think I just like you anymore, Elsa… I think I might be starting to love you…"

Elsa took a long, even breath and hummed. "Well, that's good…"

Hearing the nonchalant tone, Honeymaren's attention shot up from the bed.

Elsa was smiling. "I kind of realized I was feeling the same way a few days ago…"

Eyes wide, Honeymaren blinked. "Oh…"

"Yeah…" Elsa shrugged. Her lips pursed. "I wasn't certain you were ready to hear it yet, either…"

Honeymaren couldn't fight the laugh that barreled out from her throat. "And here I thought you would take off running on me..."

"Had I said it first... I might have."

She shook her head. Elsa still lay on her side across from her, but all Honeymaren could bring herself to do was smile. Wet ringlets of blonde pooled over Elsa's shoulders. Her face was tinged red, however if that was from the conversation or the hot shower; Honeymaren didn't know.

"You love me?" she asked ridiculously.

Elsa looked down at Ryder. Her hand soothed over his back. "I love both of you… You're a package deal."

"Well…" Honeymaren sang evenly, finding her voice. "We've loved having you join our little package deal."

Turning her head, Elsa smiled at her. "I'm glad."

* * *

_Cheers,_

_M._

* * *

**A/N:** Pulling my foot off the break, people. It's full speed ahead from here on out. BUCKLE UP.


	21. Chapter 21

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-One**

* * *

**"You're going to be okay today?"**

Elsa stood at the end of the bed. She was tucking her collared shirt into her black slacks. Honeymaren didn't respond immediately. She was too distracted watching Elsa slip her belt around her waist, and loving it almost as much as seeing her take it off.

Elsa's eyes lowered to her. "Don't look at me like that right now."

"I don't know what you're talking about..." Honeymaren sat up.

Seeing her sit at the edge of the mattress, she crawled to her. Elsa slid on her heels as Honeymaren's teeth sought out the soft skin of her ear.

Her breathing hitched. "Not. Fair." She lectured, and shrugged Honeymaren off of her.

"I'm just giving you something to remember me by… I wouldn't want you to go looking for a new lunch partner while I'm stuck home with Mister Sick."

Elsa's hands flattened to the mattress as she turned. Lowering to Honeymaren, she directed their lips together. Elsa felt fingers steal into her hair. They beckoned her closer and pulled her mouth flush against Honeymaren's.

When she was released, Elsa sighed. Her eyes were still closed. She leaned into Honeymaren's forehead. Her arms wrapped at her waist, and Elsa hugged herself tightly around her.

"You're silly…" she softly hummed. "I don't need to look for anyone else. I love what I have right here in front of me."

Honeymaren groaned. Her head fell to Elsa's shoulder. "Stay…" she whined.

"But alas, I cannot… I have classes and entirely too much work to finish, but-" she slid her hands up Honeymaren's chest and settled them beneath her jaw. Elsa pushed her back, smiling. "I'll come right back here when I'm done for the day."

Before Honeymaren could protest further, Elsa slid from the bed. She kissed her quickly and made her way toward the door.

"Let me know if you need me to pick anything up after work."

"Will do," Honeymaren returned the smile.

Elsa began walking away. She stopped short and spun around before her head popped back in through the door. "Oh… and I love you..."

Her cheeks flushed, but she managed a quick wink.

"I love you, too," Honeymaren yelled to Elsa as she walked away.

Elsa relished in the warmth spreading through her chest. She was in love, and that was a pretty great feeling.

* * *

It was just after noon. Elsa found herself seated in a booth at her favorite Japanese restaurant. Food had already been placed in front of her. She looked at the assortment of sushi and soups, but was stubbornly made to wait for the arrival of her lunch date.

"I'm here! I'm late, but I'm here!" Anna announced as she slid into the bench across from her. "I'm sorry! It was harder to wrap up that case than I expected…"

"No worries. Our food just got here." She took a delicate sip of her water.

Elsa's eyes turned briefly to Anna's before she forced herself to look away. She returned the glass to the table and pulled irritatingly at her shirt collar.

Folding her arms, Anna sat back in her seat. Elsa's skin was oddly flushed. She appeared sweaty and uncomfortable.

"Two seconds! It's been two seconds, and you're already acting weird! I knew something was up the minute you asked me to have lunch with you!"

"How am I acting weird?" She mimicked her sister's movements. "-and besides, we've had lunch together a million times! How is this any different?"

Anna nearly snorted. Her eyes rolled. "We haven't had lunch together since you met _Maren…_" she sang. "You've been too busy being held up in the library, making heart eyes at her- and that's not a dig! I swear! I'm really happy for you, but facts are facts, man. So, why are you having lunch with me instead of her?"

Elsa frowned. "Unfortunately... Ryder caught the flu. She had to stay home with him today."

"Aw…" Anna's lip fell. "Poor little guy- but that doesn't let you off the hook! So, out with it! You said you wanted to 'catch up', but I know you better than that!"

Elsa popped a sushi roll in her mouth. Her attention diverted and she eyed the paintings on the far wall.

Sensing her defiance, Anna groaned. "I am going to sit here and stare at you while I starve, or until you decide to get this over with! You know I can do this _all_ day, sister... Don't you doubt me!"

Elsa nudged the sushi platter toward her. "Eat, and then we'll talk."

"How about… eat _and_ talk…" Anna baited. "Because I don't _actually_ have all day."

Her blue eyes raised to Anna's. Elsa sighed, "Fine, but I want you to know- I really hate that nothing ever gets past you."

She shrugged. "It's a gift! What can I say?"

"Well, you're in the right career field, then. That's for sure." Elsa smirked and turned down to her salad.

With a side glance, she watched Anna take a bite. As she swallowed, her arms folded sternly over the table.

"Now talk!" Anna demanded. "What's with the 'sister, I love you. Let's eat sushi together and catch up', charades bit? My gift doesn't work out all the fine details, you know? Wait! Is this about Helga? You weren't very upfront on the phone, but it sounded like you were doing better with that!"

Elsa shook her head. "This isn't about Helga. That's been sorted enough… _for now_, hopefully..."

"This is about Maren, then?" she picked up her spoon, mindlessly stirring her soup.

"It is…" Elsa released a breath. "-but I don't know where to start."

"Why don't you try the beginning?" Anna teased. She watched Elsa put down her fork, causing her to lean in more intently.

"Alright! I did something wrong… _really_ wrong…" she refused Anna's eyes. Panic set in her chest.

"Okay…" Her voice rang with uncertainty. "Wrong, like what?"

Brows tensing, Elsa's hands lowered to her lap. "I picked up Ryder from school yesterday and his teacher handed me a letter to give to Maren, and I, um… I opened it."

Tentatively, she met Anna's stare. There was no hint of judgement in her expression. She appeared perfectly passive, but still; Elsa began to sweat.

"Well, what made you do that?" Anna asked evenly.

Her shoulders flinched. "It- the letter… it had 'Final Notice' stamped on the side. I don't know! It- I was stupid! I didn't mean to do it, it just happened!"

Anna slowly nodded. "I'm assuming this is financially related?" Elsa's lips dragged to the side in response. "I see… and did you tell her what you did?"

She shook her head. Elsa ran a hand through her hair. " I meant to, but I didn't even tell her I put the letter back in the bag… I was going to, but I wanted to figure out what I would say about reading it first… and then-"

Her words stopped short. Elsa's cheeks rapidly darkened and she looked away.

"-and then, what?" Anna's brow arched, eagerly baiting her sister.

"Maren… she- she told me she loved me…."

Anna's jaw dropped. She pulled forward to the edge of her seat. Elsa had spoken so quickly, she'd nearly missed it; but Anna was faster than Elsa gave her credit for.

"-and, I said it back…"

"What?" she breathed. Her hands came down on the table with a clang. "You love her!?"

Elsa's nose scrunched. "I do…"

"Oh my god! My sister's in love! I knew it!" she squealed. Anna's legs excitedly kicked beneath the table. "We need to go on a double date! Like, now! Like, right now!"

Elsa's cheeks continued to darken. "Alright, alright! Back on topic, please… so, now you see why I couldn't bring up the letter-"

"Yeah! Because you were too busy getting laid!"

"Anna!" Elsa scolded. Her eyes embarrassedly scanned the restaurant.

"Relax! No one's paying any attention to us!"

Smiling, Anna watched her sister sip her water. Her attention diverted entirely. She waited for Elsa to put back down her glass before she continued.

"Okay, so she said she loved you, and then you didn't tell Maren about the letter."

Elsa nodded, slowly pushing her salad around the bowl.

"I mean, you could lie… Tell her you'd forgotten, and then bring it up later tonight… but we both know you're a terrible liar."

Groaning, Elsa tipped back her head. "I can't lie! I've never been able to. I just, I don't want her to be mad at me for looking…"

Anna released a small sigh and pursed her lips. "She might be angry, but something tells me Maren will get over it. If she loves you, Elsa, this isn't going to be that 'make it or break it' moment in your relationship."

She met Anna's eyes. "You're probably right… If I come right out and tell her I messed up… we can work through it together."

Whether she was convincing herself of that or Anna, wasn't the point. Elsa had to believe it. That was the only way she and Maren would be able to overcome her mistake.

"That's my girl!" Anna cheered. "Look at you, tackling relationship issues like a champ! I'm so proud!"

Rolling her eyes, Elsa sank back into her food. Across from her, she watched Anna do the same.

"Oh!" she perked up. "-and before I forget… I still stand by my double date idea."

Elsa smirked and shook her head. "Maybe… We'll see..." she sang.

* * *

Bags in hand, Elsa stumbled through the door. She struggled to close it behind her, but managed to nudge it with her toes. With her heels still on, she made her way to the table. The groceries fell, and she softly sighed; feeling her shoulders relaxing instantly.

"You're one of those people who refuses to make multiple trips back to the car, aren't you?"

Elsa turned to find Honeymaren in the doorway. She was leaned against the wall with her arms crossed.

"On the contrary, I knew once I got inside I wouldn't want to leave again; and would you look at that… I was right..."

Smirking, Honeymaren slowly approached her. When she reached Elsa's front, her lips straightened and she grinned. "Happy friday!"

Elsa returned the sentiment as arms wrapped around her sides. "Happy friday," she whispered.

Honeymaren kissed her. It was short and sweet, however, Elsa still felt warmth stir below her waist. It had her holding on tight when Honeymaren went to pull away.

She laughed. "Someone's needy."

Elsa's eyes lowered. Her arms loosened, but Honeymaren responded by holding them in place.

"I was teasing you…" she boasted and kissed her again. "Now, how was your day?"

Shrugging, Elsa's hands moved to her lower back. "About average… and how's Ryder doing?"

"About the same."

Honeymaren's nose scrunched. She took Elsa's arm and led her into the living room. Ryder was on the couch. He laid on his side while watching cartoons with his stuffed reindeer snuggled up against his chest. His blue eyes slid toward Elsa. He didn't respond. Ryder's head remained heavy against his pillow, but he whimpered softly in greeting.

Elsa sat beside him. Her hand soothed along his back. "He doesn't feel nearly as warm as he did yesterday."

Honeymaren shook her head and came to stand above them. "I've been keeping up with the fever meds and the fluids. Unfortunately, anything solid is still a big no-no."

"Poor guy…" she brushed her fingers over his cheek. "Hopefully he can knock it over the weekend."

"-and speaking of the weekend… I talked to Rico today." Honeymaren's toes swirled idly into the carpet.

"Oh yeah?" Elsa hummed, her attention politely lifting.

"I told him, Ryder had the flu. He thought it was a ploy to have something else to use against him in court, but then I told him he was more than welcome to come and see for himself."

Elsa's eyes widened. "Did he?"

Honeymaren smirked and released a breathy laugh. "He said he couldn't afford to get sick, so even though I know I said we'd have the house to ourselves this weekend-"

She raised her hand, stopping Honeymaren short. "Say no more," Elsa stood.

When she returned to the room a minute later, she had one of the grocery bags in hand. Elsa led Honeymaren to the ottman. After she'd sat, Elsa handed her the bag and smiled.

"I figured you'd insist on him staying here anyway... I picked up a few kids movies and some paint. I figured we could have our own date-night tomorrow, and Ryder could join us if he was feeling up to it."

Pushing the bag aside, she pulled Elsa down on top of her.

Her knees straddled Honeymaren's waist and she felt hands splay against her back.

"You're perfect. Did you know that?"

Elsa's jaw wavered. She noticeably tensed. She wasn't perfect. She was far from it and feeling guilty. Elsa knew it was time to talk to Honeymaren, but she couldn't find the words. There were too many 'what ifs' floating around in her brain, and they'd rendered her completely speechless.

"What's that face for?" Honeymaren frowned.

Her lips sealed back together. Elsa feigned a grin and shook her head. "It's nothing- and listen! Speaking of dates… my sister thinks the four of us should go on one together soon."

Honeymaren's face slowly relaxed. "Sure," she shrugged. "Let me look at the calendar, but that sounds like fun!"

Elsa allowed herself to be kissed again. Yet, she found sinking into it in the way in which she wanted to was difficult. It was impossible to tell Honeymaren she'd messed up. She thought the world of her, and Elsa really didn't want to cause her more concern. Honeymaren had enough going on without her adding to the mix.

Her secret could wait another night. For now, she'd enjoy what she had while it was still right in front of her.

* * *

_Cheers,_

_M._


	22. Chapter 22 (Part One)

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Two (Part One)**

* * *

**Weight settled over her stomach. **The air was forced from her lungs. At some point as she slept, Elsa had been turned onto her back. A pillow covered her face and fingers dug into her sides.

Upon unveiling her head, Elsa laughed. "Well, you're certainly not who I was expecting to see."

Blue eyes looked down on her. "El'a!" Ryder beamed.

He bounced again, making her groan. "Good morning to you, too, silly…"

Leaning down, Ryder's face buried into her neck. His hands latched to Elsa's arms and he hugged himself to her. As Elsa soothed her fingers along his back, she scanned the room. The two were alone, and Honeymaren; nowhere to be seen.

"Where's mama?" she asked him.

His head slightly lifted. "Mama?"

"Yeah, where'd she go?" Elsa brushed her finger over the tip of his nose. It scrunched.

He grinned at her before returning his head to her chest.

Elsa smiled, rolling her eyes. "Even feeling a bit better, you're still quite the snuggle bug."

Ryder demonstrated by hugging her tighter. Elsa laughed. She covered him with her arms as the door to the bedroom swung open. As if on queue, Honeymaren entered wearing sweatpants and a sport's bra. She stopped at the foot of the bed, smirking down at them.

"I see how it is… I leave for twenty minutes, and already I've been replaced." Her arms crossed.

"You could always join us," Elsa suggested.

Drawing her lips further to the side, Honeymaren shook her head. "I'm afraid I need a quick shower before I do that... I'm all sweaty." She pointed to her chest in show.

Elsa arched her brow. "Sweaty? What were _you_ doing this morning?"

She found Elsa's toes beneath the sheets and wiggled them playfully. "Well, somebody's phone would not stop ringing this morning… You slept right through it, but I figured I'd get in a run while I was up before everyone else."

Elsa turned her head. "My phone?"

"You left it in the living room, but no worries; it was just your sister. I hope you don't mind, but I answered before it had a chance to go off again."

Shrugging, Elsa sat up, taking Ryder with her. "That's okay. What did she have to say?"

Honeymaren sat at the edge of the bed. "She was very sweet… she asked if Ryder needed anything, but I told her he was doing much better the last two days. Apparently though, you forgot about apple picking... She wanted an update on if you're still planning to join them?"

"Oh… that's right!" Elsa dragged a hand through her hair. "It's sunday! Anna's been on my case about it for two weeks!"

"I said you'd call her back when you were up… and I hope you don't mind that I dumped Ryder on you before I left? I figured he'd go back to sleep for a bit."

Elsa hugged him tighter to her chest. "Not at all! It's nice to see him acting silly again, too. I think you were right, though. The worst of it is finally behind us!"

"That's good, because Anna invited Ryder and I to join you today..."

She watched Honeymaren's lips purse, but Elsa turned her head. "She did?"

"I told her it was up to you. I've been hogging quite a bit of your attention lately. I would understand if you were looking forward to some family time."

Honeymaren's hand traced over her foot. She wasn't looking at her. "Of course I'd want you both to come with us!"

When her head lifted, Elsa was beaconing her closer with the curl of a single finger. Honeymaren obliged. She crawled over the top of the sheets until their lips met. Elsa didn't stop there, however. Her hand snagged Honeymaren behind the neck and she dragged her down on top of them. They landed with a thud against the mattress. Honeymaren's head tucked into Elsa's shoulder while Ryder still claimed her chest.

His head turned. "Mama!"

She smiled easily. Honeymaren ran a hand through his hair. "Good morning, monster!"

Watching on, Elsa's arms hugged around them. "Do you think he's ready to be out of the house?" she asked.

"Honestly, I think we could all use some fresh air. Ryder will be fine in his carrier." Honeymaren's hand moved from Ryder's hair into Elsa's. She scratched the spot on her scalp just behind her ear.

She shivered and leaned further into the touch.

"Mama, eat?" Ryder's head pulled up from Elsa's chest and tilted playfully to the side.

"Mama needs a shower, bud," Honeymaren pinched his chin. "-then I'll get started on some pancakes. How does that sound?"

"Let me do that!" Elsa forced the three of them upright. "You go shower and I'll worry about breakfast."

Honeymaren's eyes lowered to her before softening. "I don't deserve you…" she groaned. Her lips sank into Elsa's and she pulled away. "Seriously, how did I get so lucky?"

Elsa's jaw tipped to protest, but she was being kissed once more. By the time it ended, Honeymaren was already back on her feet.

"I'll be quick," she promised.

Elsa pulled her best grin into place and offered her a short nod. "No worries! Take your time..."

She watched Honeymaren disappear behind the bathroom door. Elsa waited until she heard the water run before releasing a long sigh. The praises, the compliments; they all continued weighing heavy on her heart. She was going into day four without saying anything, and Honeymaren's bill was due tomorrow morning.

Worse than that- Anna knew. While Elsa was confident her sister wouldn't say anything, she wondered what would happen if Anna slipped up? More so, it was unfair; it was unfair to Honeymaren that Anna knew before she did.

She was keeping secrets from her girlfriend- a girlfriend Elsa loved.

How could she look both her sister and Honeymaren in the eyes today, knowing what she'd done?

Honeymaren sat before her a half hour later. Elsa had set the table. She'd poured coffee and Ryder's juice. Food was dished out, and Honeymaren had her fork suspended at her lips. When Elsa's hands finally came down on the table, they sounded with a loud bang.

Both Ryder and Honeymaren's attention pulled quickly to her.

"I have to tell you something!" The words left her tongue at a rush.

Honeymaren froze. Her eyes lifted higher, and she slowly set down her fork. "Okay…"

Everything Elsa had been trying to say fought to escape all at once. It rendered her silent. Her breathing quickened.

"Is everything alright?" Honeymaren asked, her brows pinching.

Elsa wanted to look away, but she needed to see Honeymaren's face. "I messed up! I really messed up, and I've been so afraid to tell you!"

Her back straightened. Honeymaren leaned forward. "I'm confused…"

"I know!" Elsa breathed and pulled a hand through her hair. "This is not how i wanted this to go, but I told Anna, and we'll see her soon, and I don't want there to be any secrets between us!"

"You don't strike me as a cheater or anything, but I can't say I'm not feeling a little concerned…" Honeymaren looked away.

Elsa erratically shook her head. "No, no! I promise. It's nothing like that! It was an accident- a complete a total accident, but I followed it up with something equally as stupid… and I know how you feel about handeling things on your own. All of this, it's been hard because I know I'll hurt you, but you kept showering me with praise and I really didn't want to ruin the good thing we had going-"

"Elsa," Honeymaren's hand came down over hers. "Just tell me, please... so I can follow what you're saying."

Turning her eyes between Ryder and Honeymaren, Elsa pulled from her touch. She grit her teeth. "On Thursday when I was at the school, Ryder's teacher gave me a letter for you… I forgot all about it at first, but when I pulled his blanket out of the bag later, I saw it again- and it said 'Final Notice' on the side, and so…. _I opened it_\- but it wasn't like that! It wasn't in an envelope! It was folded, but I read it, and I'm so, so sorry! It was stupid- so stupid of me! I didn't mean, and I would never-"

"Elsa, Elsa! Slow down…"

It was almost painful for Elsa to pull her attention back to Honeymaren. She could feel her cheeks were hot, and her eyes; heavy with emotions.

"I'm so sorry, Maren."

Honeymaren's brows furrowed. She looked briefly to Ryder who was double-fisting his pancakes.

Her head shook to clear the daze. "I got a letter from the school?"

"Yes…"

"-and you read it?"

Elsa sighed. "Also, yes..."

She soothed a hand over her face. "I'm assuming this is about the bills?"

Biting her lip, Elsa nodded. "Again, I didn't mean to look! It was a mistake! I'd never want you to think I was snooping through your things, or- It was a one time flaw! I promise! It was was completely reflexive, and-"

"Elsa!" Honeymaren's voice rose sharply. "It's fine."

Her shoulders pulled into her ears. She wanted to hide. "No… it's not! It's worse than that!" Elsa's hand splayed over her forehead. "It's worse because _I paid it_!"

"What?" Air sucked from her lungs.

"-on friday before I had lunch with my sister… I called- I asked if there was anything I could do to help-"

"You paid my bill?" Honeymaren cut her off.

Elsa's entire face contorted painfully. "I asked if I could make an anonymous donation or-"

"Elsa, no…" she pushed back in her seat, pinching the bridge of her nose. "It's not my responsibility to pay for Ryder's schooling! Only the final notices go to me! That's the set up I have with the school. With our trial coming up, I need Rico to fail, Elsa! I have the money, but for the judge- he needs to see that Rico doesn't pay!"

Eyes enlarging, Elsa's jaw dropped. "Oh…"

"Yeah, big oh!"

Honeymaren suddenly stood up from her seat. Elsa went to follow, but she held up her hand. "Keep an eye on Ryder while he eats for me."

Elsa watched her walk away. When she fell back into her seat, she caught her head in her hands. Her body weighed heavy and her head had dizzied.

"El'a!" Ryder called to her.

She turned, forcing a smile. "Hi, Ry…"

He held out a bite of pre-chewed pancake to her. She took it in her hand without question and sighed, closing her fingers around the wet morsel.

Before she could dwell any further, Honeymaren returned. A large box dropped onto the center of the table and she returned to her seat.

Elsa merely blinked.

"Go on, open it!" Honeymaren waved a hand at her.

Elsa didn't want to. She _really_ didn't want to. "Honeymaren, please- I don't want to pry… I was never meant to see any of this and-"

"Open it," she said again, but softer this time.

Reeling in a deep breath, Elsa tentatively reached out. The pancake in her other hand had turned to mush. She ignored it, and pulled back the top on the box.

Inside she found piles of final notices. They were stacked to the side, next to weeks-worth of rolled of cash.

Elsa frowned looking at it.

Honeymaren crossed her arms. "I can pay my own bills, Elsa."

She looked down at the table. Honeymaren's stare burned through the top of her head.

"What you did was wrong... but it was also very sweet. I just wish you'd talked to me about it first."

"No… please don't talk to me like this. I don't deserve it!" Elsa begged. "You should be angry with me; so angry!"

"I am," she watched Elsa's head raise. "I am angry and I'm frustrated, but per usual you are beating yourself up way worse than I ever could."

She listened as Honeymaren released a long breath. Hesitant blue eyes met her browns. "I thought Ryder was getting kicked out of school… and he was sick, and you turned down that raise because of me! Honeymaren, it was stupid! It was completely unlike me. I'd never intentionally betray your trust, and I never meant to keep it from you for this long-"

"Why did you, then?" she asked.

When Elsa didn't respond, Honeymaren returned to her feet. She rounded the table and very carefully straddled her lap.

With a finger she directed Elsa's chin upward. "Why didn't you say anything to me on Thursday when this happened?"

Elsa shrugged. Her eyes were flighty. "Ryder was sick, and I… I was embarrassed."

Applying pressure to her chin, Honeymaren didn't allow Elsa to turn away. "I would have told you about the arrangement I have with the school, and I would have been alright if you told me about reading the letter… But you have to talk to me, Elsa! You can't let things sit like this. We have to work through our issues together; that's the only way we make this work. We made that decision before."

Tears filled her eyes, but she'd wouldn't let them fall. "You're not done with me?" Elsa asked.

Honeymaren sighed, smiling softly. "No, Elsa. I love you. I'm not done with you… but that being said, we'll still have to talk about this later. I need to find a way to get your money back, and you need to know that you can talk to me about anything… even when you make mistakes."

Elsa merely nodded. She felt tears fall to her cheeks as Honeymaren's lips touched to hers. Lifting her hand, Elsa held her in place.

"What are you holding?" Honeymaren asked, feeling the side of Elsa's tight fist against her cheek.

She unveiled her hand between them. "Pancake…"

Honeymaren looked down and laughed. "-but why do you still have it?"

"Because Ryder gave it to me…"

She kissed her head. "-to eat, silly."

"-but it's soggy and gross! I can't eat that!"

Shaking her head, Honeymaren brushed her tears away. "It's called pretending, my love. Now, what do you say… can we get back to our own pancakes now?"

Elsa tearfully nodded. She felt Honeymaren pulling away and caught her arm. "Maren, wait… I… I'm so sorry."

She sighed and kissed Elsa fully once more. "I know you are, and it's okay… We'll get through it, and anything else that comes along."

* * *

_Cheers,_

_M._

* * *

**A/N:** This is a two-parter. We're in the end game, folks. I'm making additions to the second installment now, so if you want that as early as tomorrow morning... maybe tonight- leave me a little love.


	23. Chapter 23 ( or Part Two of 22)

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Three (Part Two of Twenty-One)**

* * *

"**You have a terrible poker face, my love."**

Honeymaren had parked her car at the far end of the lot. She rotated to see Elsa, whose eyes were lost to the passanger window. Elsa turned slowly. Her lips pulled to the side.

"I'm trying," she promised.

Honeymaren giggled, shaking her head. "We're going to put this behind us for now, okay? I'm not going to let it get in the way of us enjoying our day, and you shouldn't either."

"I hurt you…" Her head tipped back.

"-and I'm sure I'll do something stupid in the future. We all make mistakes, Elsa. I'm choosing to overlook yours so we can move forward with our lives. Now, can you do the same for me, please?"

Tentatively, her eyes circled back. Elsa uncharacteristically pouted."Maybe…"

Smirking, Honeymaren undid her seatbelt. She leaned over the center console and slid her hand behind Elsa's neck. "A maybe! Is that all I'm worth to you?"

"No, I meant-"

Elsa was silenced by soft lips. Try as she might, she couldn't fight the smile that Honeymaren's mouth coaxed her into. She grinned into the kiss and pressed their foreheads together. When they parted, Elsa didn't pull back.

"I love you, you know?" She whispered.

Honeymaren nodded against her. "I know it, and I love you, too."

"Good. Now kiss me again."

Honeymaren happily obliged.

Upon exiting the car, Ryder was buckled into his carrier. Honeymaren hadn't used it in ages, but seeing him in it made her nostalgic. She meant to keep him close, and being the clingy little boy he was; Ryder didn't mind.

His head leaned against his mother's chest. He reached for Elsa's hand.

"El'a!" he shouted.

She pressed her lips against his fingers. "It's nice hearing him say my name with so much enthusiasm again. He broke my heart with all that whining when he was fever-ridden."

"Yeah, that son of mine… He loves laying the guilt on thick." She took Elsa's hand after she released Ryder's. They started across the lot. "So, fill me in on this apple picking thing. Is this some sort of tradition?"

Shaking her head, Elsa laughed. "Not even a little bit. Anna is just determined to make sure Millie experiences all those cliche, seasonal activities. Pumpkins, apples, strawberries- you name it."

"This endeavour obviously entails a lot of fruit, is what I'm gathering..."

She caught Honeymaren's eyes and smirked. "Make whatever jokes you want, but you have yet to try my famous apple tart."

"Oh, they're famous now, are they?" She grinned.

"Yes, quite. There are a whole two people who demand I make one every year. However, this will be the first time I make it with orchard fresh apples instead of store bought..." Elsa's brows lifted teasingly.

"Well, color me excited, then… and no pressure, of course."

"No, of course not, because you most certainly will not be comparing my baking skills to your own. Do you hear me?" Her attention turned stern and she glared in warning.

"What's that face for… you know that I am thinking we should have a bake-off, don't you?" Honeymaren ribbed her.

Elsa pushed back. "Absolutely not! There will be no back-off!"

"Healthy competition is good for a relationship, you know? And, oh, look- there's Anna and Kristoff! Maybe they can act as our judges?"

She was laughing as Honeymaren directed her toward the fence line. The Bjorgmans were waiting there and watching them intently.

"Okay, what's so funny?" Anna asked. Her arms playfully crossed, seeing her sister's rare display of elation.

"We're having an apple-tart-off, and you three and Ryder will be our judges!" Honeymaren explained before squeezing Elsa's hand.

"She's kidding…" Elsa leveled her with a stare. "We're not doing that."

"Good, because I'm all for more dessert and everything, but I really don't want to choose between an Aren and a Nattura." Kristoff shook his head and adjusted Millie on his hip.

"I don't know… I think I'm capable of overlooking the sister bias thing…" Anna chided.

Elsa pulled from Honeymaren's grasp and headed toward the entrance. "Alright, I'm going apple picking and leaving everyone else here."

She turned, tapping her foot. With a collective roll of their eyes, everyone joined at Elsa's side.

"Good," she applauded. "-because I was one comment away from calling off apple tarts all together this year."

Anna gasped, covering her mouth with an open hand. "You wouldn't dare!"

Elsa smiled and shrugged.

Grumbling, Anna stepped back to walk with Honeymaren instead. "So, how's Ryder doing? Is he feeling better?"

She brushed a finger over his cheek. Ryder quickly turned away, burying his head into Honeymaren's chest.

"He's back to his usual shy self, that's for sure. A little tired, though... He slept nearly the entire drive here."

"Poor little guy…" Anna ruffled his hair before dropping her hand. "Hopefully an afternoon in the sun helps perk him up a bit."

Elsa, Kristoff, and Millie were waiting for them up ahead. There was a tiny shack at the start of the orchard where an attendant was handing out baskets. Millie was already on her feet, basket in hand. She was ready to run, but Elsa kept her still by holding onto her shoulder.

"Start here," the attendant began. He handed Honeymaren and Anna their baskets. "Stay on the path, and follow through to the building at the other end when you're all done picking."

Everyone gave their thanks and they were off. Millie and Elsa took the lead. Stopping to pick apples was beyond Mille's age restraints. She was happier being on her feet than being forced to look at trees. Elsa followed her without complaint. She allowed Millie to walk at her own, fast pace, and soon they were out of sight from the rest of the group.

"You and my sister seem happy..." Anna's voice sang from over Honeymaren's shoulder.

She turned to her, lips pulling to the side. "We are… and she told me about the letter, by the way. You don't need to worry anymore."

Anna's jaw tipped. "I wasn't worried, per say… Elsa's just-"

"Perpetually guilt-ridden?" Honeymaren teased.

"I was going to say caring, but yes… that, too…" She laughed and Honeymaren joined in. "She does mean well, though; almost too much, and that's her biggest flaw. But I think you know that…"

Honeymaren nodded. "I do..."

"What are you guys talking about back here?" Kristoff interjected. "Elsa ran off with our kid and it feels weird walking around an apple orchard by myself."

"We were talking about the creepy guy in front of us who was walking by him- oh! Sorry, that was you!" Anna teased and ribbed him playfully.

"Funny, you're very funny- so, Maren," he turned his attention from his wife. "I heard Ryder was sick. How's he doing?"

Honeymaren tapped his cheek, coaxing Ryder to turn his head. "He's fine. He's just hanging out today, so he doesn't over exert himself."

"Hey, I get it! I wish someone would carry me sometimes!"

Ryder's brows lifted to Kristoff before he looked up at his mom. "El'a?" he asked.

"Oh my god!" Anna squealed. "Is that how he says Elsa? I've been working on Millie for months now, but she's so stubborn… That is stinkin' adorable! Did Elsa lose her mind- I bet she lost her mind!"

Honeymaren laughed. "Yeah, he's been at it for a few weeks now. I think he uses her name more than mine." She covered his ears. "To be honest, I'm starting to feel a little jealous…"

"Jealous of who?" Elsa suddenly popped out of one of the rows of trees. Millie was bouncing over her hip.

"El'a!" Ryder greeted.

"I told you," Honeymaren whispered to Anna under her breath.

"We figured out the apple thing, by the way." Elsa held up Millie's basket. "She likes the moldy ones under the tree the best, so someone better start looking for apples i can use in my tart..."

Anna rolled her eyes. "I'll take her for a while, that way you can go get your own, edible apples." She held out her hands.

"I don't mind." Elsa promised.

Anna took Millie from her. "I know you don't, but I'm sure she'll pick up more moldy apples with her aunt when you're all done looking for yours. You guys go… I'll find you in a bit." She coaxed them forward.

They watched the three of them walk away.

"We were ditched!" Maren bumped her shoulder into Elsa's.

"It does look that way, and they left me with all of Millie's moldy apples!" She held up the basked in show and made a face.

"You can dump them on the ground. Think of it like fertilizer- now, come on! Lead the way. We've got apples to pick."

Elsa took Honeymaren's hand instead. She pulled her toward the first row of trees before she started examining the fruit. Both Ryder and Honeymaren watched her intently. Elsa perched up on the toes of her sneakers and pulled a green apple from its branch. She was wearing one of Honeymaren's flannels over her t-shirt. It rode up in the back as she lowered to her feet.

Honeymaren straightened it out for her. "So, what kinds of apples are we looking for?"

Turning to her, Elsa smiled. She dropped the fruit in Honeymaren's basket. "Both sweet and tart," she explained. "Honeycrisp or Granny Smith, and Fuji or Red Delicious…"

Elsa pulled another apple off the tree and took a bite. Ryder's head lifted eagerly at the sound.

"Me do?" He reached for her.

With her brows pinched, she handed him her apple. He frowned, growling, and pushed it away.

"I think he wants to get his own apple..." Honeymaren laughed as she pulled him from the straps.

Elsa stepped back, giving them room; but Ryder was suddenly placed in her arms.

"Are you sure? You should take him!"

Honeymaren shook her head. "You're the apple expert here. Besides, I'm tired of carrying him! It's your turn."

Elsa's lips briefly pursed. She turned to Ryder and softened instantly. "Okay… let's go find you an apple, but how about something a little softer- like a McIntosh, maybe?"

Elsa cut between trees, leaving Honeymaren to follow. She did so willingly. She loved watching Elsa interact with her son. Their conversations, her genuine interest in Ryder's life; it was a breath of fresh air to Honeymaren, really.

She stopped short before making a quick turn. Elsa led them across the orchard and down another row of trees.

"Her we go!" She tried to set Ryder down on his feet.

"No! Me do!" He protested, pulling his legs up from above the ground.

Confused, Elsa lifted him back onto her side. Ryder reached for the tree, and she nodded in understanding. Her arm moved to circle around his waist. She spun him toward the branches, and Ryder's feet braced against her stomach. He pulled an apple from the tree, giggling as he handed it down to her.

"Apple!" He told Elsa.

"That's right," she applauded, and returned him to her hip. "An apple!"

He continued holding it out to her. Honeymaren laughed. "He wants you to bite it for him."

"Take this for me, then. Would you?" She gave Honeymaren her own apple before taking Ryder's. Elsa took a bite and handed it back to him.

"He doesn't like the skin. He's just going to suck the juice out of it, so be forewarned. He will drool everywhere!" She explained with a full mouth.

Elsa turned back to see Honeymaren eating her apple. "Hey! Not fair," she pouted.

"Plenty fair. You stole my kid... I steal your apple." She took another bite. Honeymaren nudged Elsa forward with her foot. "Now, let's go. We've got a tart to make."

Her frown fell away, and Elsa took Honeymaren's hand. She happily allowed herself to be led through the rest of the orchard, loving that she had both of them at her side.

* * *

They found the others close to a half hour later. Millie was climbing on a pile of stacked hay with a few other children around her age. Anna smiled as the couple approached. She held out her hand and a bag suspended from her fingers. Elsa's head tilted curiously, but she accepted it anyway.

"I made Kristoff run up to the store to get us donuts and munchkins for the kids." Anna explained, and he rolled his eyes.

"Oh, donuts!" Honeymaren reached around Elsa, but was quickly swatted away.

"No donuts for you! You stole my apple!"

She held out the basket. "Here, I'll trade you for a donut, then?"

Elsa lowered her eyes. She pulled a munchkin out of the bag and gave it to Ryder. Pausing for a minute, she stared. Honeymaren tested her by flashing her own glare. Elsa broke first and gave her the donut.

As Ryder chewed, though, he made a face.

"They're apple flavoured," Anna explained to him.

He continued to look down at it in confusion.

"I think he wants to like it…" Elsa laughed. "-but he's not so sure."

Once he swallowed, Ryder handed the rest back to her. He dropped it in the bag.

"Millie did the same thing… Not enough chocolate is my guess." Anna nudged her sister. "She must take after us."

Tiny hands made a grab for Elsa's donut. She looked down to find Ryder pouting up at her.

"El'a?" he asked.

"Or maybe he's just smarter than all of us…" Elsa laughed, rolling her eyes. She handed him her donut and he smiled as he took a huge bite. "Looks like he takes after his mom, too…"

"You could always go get us another one…" Anna suggested.

"Or two,"

"Or three," Both Kristoff and Honeymaren added.

"I see how it is! Fine!" Elsa feigned a sigh. "More donuts... and I'm getting cider. Anyone else want one?"

After a series of 'yeses,' she allowed Honeymaren to take Ryder back. She placed him on his feet and he curiously made his way over to where Millie was playing.

"So… Maren…. Any plans for Thanksgiving yet?" Anna asked after Elsa was out of earshot.

Honeymaren shrugged. "Ryder's with his dad this year, unfortunately. My mom and I will be going to see my grandmother for dinner, but that's about it."

"Well…" Anna sang. "If it's not too forward of me… you and you mom and whoever else are more than welcome to stop by for dessert after, if you like?"

"Yeah, it would be great to see your mom again!" Kristoff added.

"-and i'm sure Elsa would love it if you both stopped by." Her eyes playfully circled overhead.

"Thanks, guys. I'll definitely plan on it."

Ryder waddled back over to his mother. He pulled at the pocket on her cargo pants. "Mama! Goat!" He shouted.

She followed to where his finger pointed. "Oh! Would you look at that, bud. That is a goat!"

Pulling her hand, Ryder led her forward. Millie was already on her way there. She stumbled right up to the pen and stuck her hand between the bars.

"Do you want to help feed her?" The worker asked.

Millie ignore them. She stuck her arm in as far as the wiring would allow. When the goat didn't come, she began to whine. Anna shook her head and accepted the feed from the worker.

Side by side, Millie and Ryder watched their mother's feed the goats. Eagerly, they tried, too. Ryder burst out laughing as the goat's mouth tickled against his palm.

"Why is no one photographing this?" Elsa scolded in her return.

She dumped the food and drinks in Kristoff's arms before approaching the pen.

"El'a! Goats!" Ryder greeted.

She smiled happily at him.

"Here, take my phone," Honeymaren handed it to her. "Go photo crazy. I'm afraid my hand is all covered in goat drool…"

Elsa snorted. "Very sexy..."

She stepped back and took a picture of the four of them. Smiling at it, she took a few more. Elsa landed one of Millie in the middle of the ultimate grimace. She laughed and turned the phone for Anna to see.

"That's perfect!" She gleamed. "Please send that to me! I want to print that for my desk at work."

Elsa returned to her feet. She took her cider back from Kristoff, who'd unintentionally become their own personal pack-mule. She sipped at her drink and smiled as she clicked through the photos. Elsa was happy to find some Honeymaren had even snuck in some pictures of her and Ry.

"Hey, Honey!" Anna called to Kristoff. "Can we get a goat?"

Mille babble, waving her hands. "Dada!" She shouted.

"See, your daughter wants one, too!"

Kristoff approached and handed off their ciders. "Not a chance, dear."

"Aw, come on Ice-Man! Didn't you always want a reindeer?" Honeymaren teased him. "A goat's not all that different, and I can send Ryder over there to come and play with it all the time!"

She stood beside him.

Anna joined. "A reindeer?" Her brow arched.

"El'a! Goat!" Ryder shouted again, and excitedly waddled over to her.

As the adults followed him with their eyes, their fun Sunday afternoon drastically shifted.

Elsa ignored Ryder. She hadn't moved from where she stood with the phone in hand. Her eyes had grown dark. Her brow furrowed. She looked back at them and her jaw wavered in shock.

"What is this?" Elsa's voice nearly cracked as she spoke. She directed the phone screen at all of them.

Tentatively, Honeymaren stepped forward to take it back; trying to understand.

Elsa swatted her away. "Not you," she stated, her tone clipped.

The screen then circled back fully to Anna. She tilted her head and her brow pinched.

"Send you the photo..." Elsa continued dryly. "This is Maren's phone! What is this?"

She turned and slapped the device into Honeymaren's hand.

"Elsa, listen! Elsa, wait!" Anna pleaded, watching her sister back further away.

"Take me home," she begged. Her attention was fixed solely on Kristoff.

"I can do that," Honeymaren reached forward with her hand.

With tears in her eyes and her finger extended, Elsa shook her head, "Not you."

* * *

_Cheers, _

_M._

* * *

**A/N:** No goats were harmed in the making of this chapter. However, I'm sure a lot of hearts are aching. Unfortunately guys, this was always my plan. I call this the 'inside-out-burn'. It's a burn inside a burn… or something like that...

Anyway, a BIG thanks to Amy for her help on this chapter. Your support is always loved and always super appreciated! (Seriously. SO MUCH, and.. I am really, really sorry... I'll make it up to you later with a double-date one-shot.)

BUT, what's the verdict guys? Do we need to reread? Anyone have any thoughts? What was on Anna's phone?

What's the… _Cold Secret_?


	24. Chapter 24

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

* * *

"**I heard from one of the department heads this morning- Elsa took off the entire week from school. She's teaching online until after the holiday..."**

"The whole week?" Anna moaned. She slumped back in her chair.

Across from her, Honeymaren nodded painfully. "We should never have kept it going this long... I should have told her!"

"It's not your fault," her hand rested over Honeymaren's. "I instigated it! This is all on me."

"Yeah, but I kept it going. I'm just as at fault now…" She pulled back and turned away.

Anna sighed, staring at the side of Honeymaren's face. There were dark circles under her eyes and a slight paleness to her cheeks. It was evident she hadn't slept at all the night prior. She had probably laid there tossing and turning, just as Anna had.

"What do we do now?" Honeymaren whispered, her stare still fixed to the wall.

"I… I don't know." Anna slid further down in her chair. "Elsa won't talk to me. She won't answer my calls or respond to my texts... She wouldn't even open the door when I went by her apartment! She hasn't shut me out like this since we were dealing with what happened to our parents."

"She cut me out, too…" Honeymaren's head buried against her shoulder. She bit into her bottom lip and groaned.

"Well, for starters, Elsa needs to know the truth; the whole truth, and not just what she could gather from our text messages."

Frowning, she shook her head at Anna. "That'll make it worse… so much worse."

"It's going to get worse before it gets better, but what other option do we have? Elsa's already hurting, but she'll come around!" Anna curled into her neck, taking her coffee between both hands.

"-come around to you, maybe… but I think after all this, Elsa's going to be done with me for good. I lied to her, Anna… I took it too far… I played with her head! I'm no better than Helga in her mind!"

"Okay, okay! Let's not jump to conclusions here. That's a little extreme, even for someone who's been through things like Elsa has." Anna soothed.

"-but it's true! How will Elsa ever look at me the same again, knowing our entire relationship was a lie?"

"Not all of it!" She defended. "-just the beginning… Your feelings for her are real. Anyone can see that."

Honeymaren stubbornly rolled her eyes. "I don't think Elsa's going to see it that way..."

"Listen, Elsa is hurt, but she's probably more embarrassed than anything else- and that's on me! Not you... Let me try and smooth things over again. I'm sure she'll talk to you after she understands why I did what I did. Elsa's stubborn, but she's not heartless…" Anna's lips pulled to the side.

She watched Honeymaren's face gradually redden. Her hands hardened into tight fists over the table. With her back pulling straight, Honeymaren suddenly stood. She was on her feet and frantically shaking her head.

"No, Anna, this was a mistake; all of it! In two weeks, you and I will never have to see each other again, and I think that's for the best. I need to put all of this behind me, for Ryder's sake... I should have never gotten involved in the first place." She pulled her bag over her shoulder and took her coffee between her hands.

"Maren, wait! We can fix-"

"I'm sorry, Anna. I know what you were trying to do, and I appreciate it, but this should never have happened..."

Quickly walking away, Honeymaren exited the coffee shop. Anna stayed glued to the seat, staring after her. Everything had spiralled so fast. She couldn't keep up. Her attempt to help both Honeymaren and her sister had ended terribly, and she was directly at the center of why.

Kristoff was right, though- this was what Anna got for meddling in Elsa's affairs; especially when she'd been so thorough in asking her to butt out in the first place.

* * *

Her apartment was spotless. Floor to ceiling, each and every room had been scrubbed clean. Overhead fans were dusted. The kitchen and bath were mopped and bleached, and the scent of lemon cleaner permeated the air.

It had been a long three days of reorganizing. She'd sorted through all of her clothes, made piles for donations, and now she was free to relax and enjoy all her hard work.

It was the relaxing part that wouldn't come easily, however. Try as she might, Elsa's mind would not settle. There was a weight on her chest that had her attention pulling right back to days prior. Everytime it did, she found herself moving on to a new project. It was an endless cycle; one she wished she could crawl out of, but this kind of hurt was new. It was unwelcome.

And it was, unfortunately, here to stay.

She was dropping another bag in the hallway when a knock sounded at the door. Elsa instantly tensed. Her eyes swept slowly through the kitchen before her shoulders released.

_It was her take-out…_

Shutting Anna and Honeymaren out of her life had been easier said than done. Turning her phone off was simple. Canceling her classes was slightly more difficult, but it had to be done. Anna, though, she was persistent. Before and after work each day she'd stopped by to knock on her door. It had Elsa feeling tense; on edge...

She was tired. She needed space. Elsa didn't think it was all that much to ask for; especially after everything Anna had put her through.

But she'd been wrong before.

With a sigh, Elsa approached the door. For good measure, she checked the peephole first. There was a man on the other side in a delivery uniform, and Elsa allowed herself to relax.

She pulled it open with a small grin.

"Elsa Aren," he asked, and she simply nodded. "You're all set."

Elsa accepted the bag. "Thank you."

After a quick grin, the man was retreating down the hall. Elsa shrugged before spinning on her toes, and kicked the door closed behind her.

It connected with something soft. The click of the door jamb never came, yet there was a large bang when the handle collided with the far wall.

Startled, Elsa spun around. A hand caught the door before it closed, and that hand belonged to none other than her sister.

She shook her head, moving forward with her hand to the door. "Out! Get out!"

"Elsa, please, wait!"

Anna fought to keep the door open as Elsa tried to close it on her.

"Five minutes! Please, five minutes! That's all I ask, and then I'll leave!" She pleaded desperately.

With her weight still braced against the door and her head turned away, Elsa didn't move. Her brow furrowed. Her teeth grit. Until finally, she growled and stepped back.

Anna overbalanced as she fell on her way into the apartment.

"You have five minutes, and then leave. No arguments."

Anna was left to pick herself up from off the floor. She closed the door behind her and hurried after Elsa.

Her food sitting neglected on the coffee table in the living room, Elsa had returned to folding clothes at the foot of the couch. She wouldn't look at Anna, her attention staying strictly focused on her hands.

"You're wasting what little time you have. Start talking," she chided.

"Elsa, I-" Anna looked at her feet. She was towering above her sister, but had never felt smaller than she did in that moment. "I'm sorry…"

"I gathered that much, thank you," she uttered dryly.

"I'm trying!" Anna breathed. Her ears tucked into her shoulders. "I don't know where to start or what to say!"

Laughing through her nose, Elsa's eyes rolled. "You've been so desperate to get in here, but you never stopped to think of what you'd say? Why don't I save you the trouble... I don't want you to say anything! I don't want to hear it! I need and want to be left alone."

"-but Thanksgiving's tomorrow… You can't- you still have to come!"

Elsa didn't respond. Her pile of to-be-folded clothes was growing smaller and she slowed in her efforts. Her attention remained diverted.

"I'm your family, Elsa. Forget about everything else, please! That's still where you're meant to be!"

Standing, Elsa took the clothes in her hands. She crossed to the bedroom, leaving Anna to follow.

"You're right. We are family, but then again; you haven't exactly been acting like a sister, have you?"

Anna watched her slide her clothes into drawers before moving toward the closet. "I never meant to hurt you, Elsa… I was trying to help!"

"Help?" She turned sharply. Her arms crossed. "If you were trying to help me you would have left me alone! You would have liked me the way I was, and left me to go at my own pace!"

"I do like you the way you are, and we were going to tell you!" Anna promised.

"Someone should have! Do you have any idea how blindsided I am? How awful and humiliated I feel?" Elsa's face contorted. She quelled her emotions by lowering her brow.

"I- We never meant-"

"Tell me," Elsa demanded. "Tell me how you know her?"

Anna's eyes widened. She reeled in a deep breath and bit her lip. "I'm Ryder's case worker… for the trial…"

Many emotions creased across Elsa's face all at once. She shook them away. "Well, it appears your unethical practices know no bounds." Her arms pulled tighter over her chest.

Anna stepped forward, but Elsa held up her hand. "It didn't start out that way! I promise you that! I was helping her with the case. I got Ryder into Millie's daycare... For months, it was only work!"

"-but then you made me your side project. Because fixing the single mother wasn't enough for you, so you went ahead and threw the single sister into the mix as well?"

Jaw wavering, Anna's hands fell to her side. "I wanted you to let someone in… someone other than me… When I met Maren, I thought she could be a good friend. You'd both been through so much, and she was nice! She became more than a client to me. She was my friend, too! I knew you would like her the same if you just got to know her, and you worked at the same place... I didn't even consider that you'd become involved in the way that you did; not until it was already happening-"

"-but then you backed off, right? You set up your friendship game, and then you let me figure out the rest on my own?" Anna started to respond, but Elsa cut her off, "Save it! I saw everything. You had your hands on everything, Anna! Every minute of my relationship you were right there making sure it happened for me!"

"It wasn't like that, I promise! It wasn't supposed to be like that!" Anna pleaded for her to understand.

"I thought I did it myself! I thought there was something special about me! I believed the coffee was a fluke thing, and that Maren was interested in getting to know the person I am! But then I find out you were orchestrating the whole thing... You knew about the library, and the date I turned down with her! Anna, you knew about everything before I told-"

Elsa's voice broke. She turned her back on Anna. When a hand touched her shoulder, she quickly shrugged it off.

"It's time for you to go," she heard Anna take a step back.

"I- I just wanted you to be happy… and when I saw Maren might make that happen, I wanted to do everything in my power to make sure it did… but neither of us meant to hurt you! I promise..."

Elsa's arms grew limp and she held them against her waist. She felt tears sliding down her cheeks.

"And you did do it yourself, Elsa! Maren didn't fall for me, or the person I painted for her. She fell in love with you!"

Shaking her head, Elsa drew in a short breath. "Go," she called over her shoulder. "-just go..."

Defeated, Anna's eyes fell to the floor. She took a single step backwards, and then another.

"Please come tomorrow…" she whispered. "If not for me, please come for Millie…"

Elsa didn't move, nor did she respond. She waited until the far door opened and closed behind her sister before turning back around. Lightheaded, she dropped to the edge of the bed. Her head fell into her hands.

Maren hadn't fallen for Elsa; she had fallen for the game Anna designed.

* * *

_Cheers,_

_M. _


	25. Chapter 25

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

* * *

**Clothing littered the floor. **Dresses had been pulled from their hangers. Shoes and shirts lay in a trail, leading across the room to Anna's feet. With her brow low, she kicked the pile and dropped to the foot of the bed. Groaning, she fell back. Kristoff was there and watching from his spot in the doorway.

Her hand covered her face and she sighed. Nodding to himself, his shoulders squared. He stepped toward the bed and sat beside her.

Anna shot up. Her finger extended. "No! No more, "I told you so"! Please, it's not the time!"

"I wasn't going to say anything!" Kristoff's hands raised in surrender.

"Fine," she grumbled. "-then you can stay, I guess."

"In my own room? How thoughtful of you," he teased, and Anna back-handed his chest. "Come on! I was kidding!"

"I know… I'm just…" She looked away.

Kristoff soothed a hand over her hair. "-missing your sister… I get it."

She shook her head, turning to him slowly. "It's more than that. Yeah, I miss her, but I can't get her voice from last night out of my head! I didn't just hurt Elsa… I think… I think I broke her…"

Kristoff drew in a long breath before taking Anna under his arm. "Elsa's not broken. People aren't things. They don't break. Sometimes, though, they need a little extra love to get moving again."

"-but can't you see," her head tilted against his shoulder. "That's all I was trying to do: give her that extra love! I wasn't looking to fix Elsa or change her… I wanted her to see that other people could love her like I do... I wanted her to want more for her life."

"I know what you were hoping to do, but Elsa was never going to see it that way. Because believe it or not, she was happy with her life before Maren walked into it. Elsa was comfortable and content-"

"She was complacent!"

Kristoff playfully rolled his eyes. "That's how you see it… but in Elsa's own mind, you and our family… that was enough for her."

Pulling back, Anna's frown deepened. "She deserves more than just us!"

"Of course she does," Kristoff agreed. "-but think about it this way… Elsa needs to come to that conclusion on her own; that's the only way she's ever going to believe she deserves it."

Her attention dropped to the mattress. Anna hid her hands in her lap. "She said to me yesterday, she thought she did it herself… now Elsa thinks that I made Maren fall in love with her."

Kristoff reached for her again, his hand stroking her cheek until her eyes returned. "We both know that isn't true… but unfortunately, only Maren can defend the sincerity of her feelings for Elsa."

Anna nodded dejectedly. "I know, and I messed that part up, too. I hurt both of them by getting involved, and now Maren wants nothing to do with any of us either!"

"Well, Maren's an adult," Kristoff's fingers moved to take his wife's hand instead. "She knows what part she played in all this, just like you do, and besides; I've known the Nattura family a lot longer than you have. They're stubborn, just like Arens... I have a feeling she'll be back and trying to set things right just as soon as she can focus on it again."

She allowed her head to fall to his chest. "I really hope you're right, because I think at this point she's the only one who can fix all the damage I've done..."

"Hey," his hand soothed across Anna's back. "Don't give up on Elsa either. Once she's calmed down a bit and the shock has worn off, I'm positive the two of you will learn to talk like sisters again."

Anna didn't say anything. Her nose buried further into Kristoff's shirt. Her arms wrapped around his chest and she dragged herself closer.

"Speaking of," he continued. "Do you think Elsa will show up today?"

Shrugging, she drew back. "I don't know, but I can't exactly say I'd blame her if she didn't…"

"We'll have to wait and see, then." Kristoff kissed her head. "Now, get moving and put some clothes on! My parents will be here soon."

* * *

She stood before the door. Her heart beat painfully in her throat. Elsa had battled with herself for ages just to get to this very spot. She'd waited for the nerve to get in her car. She'd struggled to walk to the door. Now, she stood before her sister's house and hoped she'd dredge up the courage to walk inside.

Truthfully, she had no desire to be there. It wasn't until Thanksgiving morning arrived that Elsa realized she had nowhere else to go. The idea of spending the holiday alone was depressing, even under these unusual circumstances.

She wasn't doing it for her sister, though. She reminded herself of that again.

Elsa was here for her niece, and she was here for herself, and she'd make certain Anna knew that.

Reeling in a final breath, she pushed open the front door. There was no one in the living room to greet her, but the chatter echoing from beyond the hall told her where everyone was. Elsa kicked off her heels and pulled her back straight. With her teeth grit, she started forward.

It was now or never, in her mind.

Anna was on her feet the second her sister rounded the corner.

"Elsa!" She exclaimed, her hands wringing at her waist. "You're here! I didn't hear you come in…"

Millie's grandparents, dubbed Bulda and Pabbie by Millie, were pushing themselves up from the table to stand. Elsa made her way to them first. She loved Kristoff's parents in the way she imagined she would love her own parents if they were still alive. They treated her like family; in one as small as hers, that felt like a gift.

"You look wonderful as always, dear." Bulda accepted her hug.

"Hopefully you don't walk around campus in that skirt of yours. We wouldn't want you giving those freshmen the wrong idea-" Pabbie winced as his wife smacked his arm.

"Relax, Dad. There's nothing wrong with Elsa's skirt..." Kristoff approached from the counter where both he and Anna were preparing food.

"She knows I'm teasing her!" Pabbie chuckled.

Elsa smiled, shaking her head at him before Kristoff stepped in for a hug.

"Can I get you anything?" He asked, pulling back to see her face.

Shrugging, her lips drew to the side. "Water, maybe- and where's Millie?"

Millie would be her saving grace.

"Water, you've got it," he dutifully nodded.

"She's upstairs napping, and no worries!" Anna shouted from across the room. "I've got her water!"

She scrambled quickly to find a glass. Once it was filled, she rushed it over to them and extended the glass for Elsa to take. For a moment, Elsa simply stared at it. She sighed before taking it into her hand.

"Bulda's right, by the way. You do look nice!"

Elsa stepped back so Kristoff stood between her and Anna. She took a slow sip of her water, "Thanks."

"Is it a new outfit?" Anna continued to pry.

"Something like that…" Elsa turned from them. She moved to the table and asked Bulda and Pabbie to fill her in on their week.

Anna pouted as she looked at Kristoff. His hands lifted and he shrugged before ushering her back over to the counter.

As Elsa talked with Kristoff's parents, she tried to remain attentive. Though truth be told, it was hard being there pretending everything was alright when she was barely holding it together.

It was even harder than she had allowed herself to anticipate beforehand.

And her outfit _was_ new.

Elsa bought it with the idea in mind that she might be spending the holiday with Maren's family as well as her outfit was nothing scandalous like Pabbie let on. Elsa had selected a modest white sweater and black circle skirt. Maren would have loved the just-right amount of leg showing, and the neckline on the shirt was high enough to keep Elsa feeling comfortable.

But everything was wrong now. Her hair was up instead of down. She'd foregone makeup and left her face bare. There was no one here Elsa hoped to impress with her appearance; with that thought, her sadness crept back in.

By the time Millie's unmistakable cry sounded through the monitor, Elsa was already itching to get away.

"I've got her!" She quickly announced.

As she stood and crossed the room, Elsa felt the many eyes on her back. It was safe to assume Kristoff's parents knew very little about what was going on. However, she couldn't help but want to maintain the appearance of normalcy. In doing so, Elsa shrugged off the feeling of being watched before ascending the stairs.

Millie's room was located at the top of the steps. Her door was painted white with a bright green 'M'. Elsa found herself surprisingly eager to see her niece. As she entered the small bedroom, she was smiling. Millie's pudgy hands greeted her in the air and she made the bold move of trying to climb out of her crib on her own.

"No you don't!" Elsa snatched her from the bed.

Millie giggled and accepted her aunt's unusually tight hug.

Elsa found a blue party dress waiting out on the changing table. She hoisted Millie onto the cushion and freed her from the pajamas. As she pulled the dress over her head, Elsa looked up. Her eyes caught the side wall. Her hands froze against the fabric, and Millie was left to try and push her own head through the tiny hole.

Only when she whined, did Elsa remember Millie and her dress. She placed the toddler on the floor to sit at her feet; Millie stared up at her aunt intently. Elsa hadn't moved. Her blue eyes were fixed to a spot on the wall she couldn't bring herself to turn away from.

Everything in that moment came full circle, and Elsa began to cry.

A sob broke past her lips and her legs began to shake. Afraid her knees would give out, she lowered to the carpet. Elsa's hand covered her mouth and her tear-filled eyes returned to the painted walls.

Over the summer Anna had worked tirelessly for a week straight, designing the mural in Millie's bedroom. There were trails of green vines and flowering bushes. Butterfly gardens were supposed to be the inspiration, but Elsa saw right through that now.

From the willow trees to the patterns of blue sky on the ceiling- it was Ryder's mural that had given life to this one. Anna had been inspired by Honeymaren, of all people, to paint the scene before her; one which Elsa had seen a hundred times before.

Her tears were cut short as the door pushed open. Seeing Anna standing there, Elsa's cheeks flushed. She fumbled, pressing her hands into the carpet as she tried to stand.

"Hey, what's going on," Anna soothed. She moved to help her sister up, but Elsa was already on her feet and holding her distance.

"Please, not now!" She brushed hot tears from her cheeks.

Anna crossed the room. "The baby monitor…" She turned it off before facing Elsa once again.

"Oh…" Elsa's cheeks rapidly darkened.

"No one heard anything... I turned it down before they could."

Elsa watched Anna scoop Millie from the floor, not believing a word she said. Elsa had no plans to listen to anything further. She spun on her heels and her hand went to the door.

"Elsa, please! Wait!" Anna stopped her. "We can't go on like this!"

She pressed her palm flat to the door. "I don't have anything I want to say to you."

"Yes, you do." Anna fought, stepping closer. "I think you have a lot you want to say to me."

When Elsa wouldn't turn, but hadn't tried leaving again either, Anna took another step. She continued until her hand lightly covered Elsa's shoulder. Slowly, she turned Elsa around and stepped back with her head tilted.

"If you're angry with me, be angry. If you're sad or frustrated or hurt, be all of those things! Stop holding them in and letting them eat at you. If you want to yell at me, go ahead and yell!"

Tentatively, Elsa's head lifted. Her eyes rose as tears continued down her cheeks. She shook her head, "I don't have the energy for this, Anna."

"-but you have the energy to clean and completely reorganize your house?" she dryly asked.

Elsa frowned. Her arms crossed. "This isn't the right time."

"No," Anna leveled. "I think this is the perfect time. Today is a day to give thanks for all you have, and I am so grateful that you still decided to come despite everything else."

"I didn't come for you," she quipped shortly.

"- and I don't care… I got to see my sister and that's all that matters to me."

Elsa looked away and her grip on her arms tightened. "Why did you do it? Why couldn't you leave well-enough alone?"

Anna sighed, sitting with Millie in the corner rocking chair. "Because I can be really, really stupid sometimes... but I promise I meant well..."

Biting her lip, Elsa didn't respond.

After a moment, Anna's voice surfaced again. "Can I ask you something? I know I don't really have the right… but I need to know so I can fix this."

"You don't have the right," her head shook and her shoulders slumped. "-but I really don't have it in me to stop you…"

She watched Elsa sit with her back to the door. Anna sighed, "What in those messages made you react this way?"

Brow furrowing, her eyes locked on Anna's. "What do you mean? Nothing I saw felt good, Anna..."

"I know… I know. I just meant- I want to try and explain…"

She pulled her knees against her chest. Her head turned and faced the wall. "Explain why you picked us? Why Maren and I? You told her I liked coffee… I thought…" Elsa's nose buried into her skirt. "Before… _she said I was_ _unapproachable…_"

When Elsa's tears began again, Anna shifted in her chair as though she longed to comfort her. Instead, she stayed seated, lines creasing her forehead.

"I told Maren you worked at the school. She thought it was ironic that you chose to hide from your students in the library of all places…" Anna began, the slightest smile tugging at her lips. "I told her she should stop creeping on you and just say, 'hi'... But Maren thought you'd find that awkward… So, I suggested coffee- and that's where my long list of stupid and unethical stunts begins… But I think, by that point, I had already started to feel like Maren was more my friend than my client. When I told my supervisor that, he said it was because we were so close in age.

"He said things like that happen, but I shouldn't worry too much about it; there were no issues with you and Maren working together, so long as I didn't bring up the case…. But I guess that had me feeling a little too comfortable with everything…. When Maren became interested in you, I let myself believe she was really _just_ my friend."

Elsa shook her head to stop the monologue. "-but you knew she asked me out on that first day... I turned her down, and you knew what she'd said to make me say yes! I saw the note, Anna! You knew about it before you were even home from California. You helped choose those words! Those were your words! You guilted me into agreeing to go. You both manipulated me... and you were so concerned with the professional ethics of it, but you never stopped to think about your commitment to me as your sister!"

Anna set Millie on her feet before moving to kneel in front of Elsa. "It was my commitment to my sister that had me acting so dumb… Elsa, you said I didn't like you the way you were, but that was never the truth! I love you just as you are, in whatever way I get you, because you mean the world to me… I just wanted you to see that you deserved so much more than what you allowed yourself to have!"

"-but did I deserve this? Did I deserve all the lies, and the secrets you both kept from me?" Elsa's back pressed further into the door.

"No, of course not!" Anna's voice broke as she began to cry. "I- We planned to tell you everything after the trial! Believe me, Elsa! When things started to change between the two of you, I tried to back off-"

"You bet against me!" Elsa's tears coursed down harder. "That date, the bet with Maren's mom! You were betting against me going…"

Anna's hand brushed across Elsa's cheeks. She ignored her protests when she tried to flinch away. "Oh, Elsa… that was a joke… and a terrible one when seen out of context in those messages… But I said that because... I know you! No one was more surprised or thrilled when you decided to say yes!"

"It hurts! You lied and kept this from me, and it hurts!"

She took Elsa into her arms. Anna's head hugged against hers. "I know, and I'm so sorry… I wish I could take it all back, but I can't…"

"I was a game to her, Anna… Maren only liked me because she wanted to win…"

"Now, that's not true," her hand soothed over Elsa's back. "I don't believe that, and I won't, and you shouldn't either!"

"She said, in her messages- Maren said she beat the odds… Was I that closed off? _Unapproachable…_ Did no one think-" Tears welled in her throat, stopping her words short.

"Elsa, no. You make it so easy to love you! Anyone, and especially Maren, can see that."

Anything else to be said was startled silent as the door opened up behind them. Both sisters fell to the floor, huddled together at Kristoff's feet. He looked down at them, perplexed.

His head tilted, "Uh… dinner's ready?"

They were silent for a long moment until Elsa laughed first, and then Anna joined in, too.

"Okay," she brushed the tears from her face. "We'll both be down in a minute…"

Millie quickly scrambled over them as she made her exit. Kristoff lifted her to his hip. "Don't worry, daddy will save you from these two crazies..."

Anna playfully punched his leg as he walked by. When she turned, Elsa was already standing. Anna looked up at her with brows pinched and her lips drawn to the side. Then Elsa surprised her by holding out her hand. Anna accepted it and was pulled back to her feet.

They stood there facing each other. Neither said a word. Elsa was looking at the ground while Anna fidgeted with her hands.

"Listen…" She started, her attention slowly lifting. "I am so sorry, Elsa… about all of it. I never meant for it to turn out this way, or any way really. I just wanted you to see that you deserved to be loved by other people in the same way that I love you."

Releasing a sigh, Elsa met her sister's eyes. "I appreciate that you care about me, I really do… But you needed to let me find love on my own. I need to make my own friends, and start my own relationships… That's the only way I can trust that they're really mine."

Anna bit her lip. She tentatively nodded. "I'm sorry I got involved, and that you were hurt by what I did… but I still stand by what I said before… What you had with Maren, it wasn't a game. There is genuine love there... You shouldn't let me be the reason it all gets thrown away."

The softness Elsa's tears created in her expression was shaken away. Her back straightened and her chin tipped. "You won't be the reason, Anna. You don't need to worry about that."

"-but for now," she continued, her eyes fighting to hold Elsa's stare. "Are we going to be okay?"

Her teeth worried against her inner cheek and she gave a short nod. "I hope so."

* * *

After a few more hours of food and lighter conversation, Elsa finally returned home. She was emotionally drained. Her body hurt, and she wasn't exactly certain why. When she entered the living room, she fell straight onto her back against the couch. Somehow it felt like all her tension was falling away with her.

Things between her and Anna were better now. They weren't perfect, but the long road to recovery had started. Elsa felt better knowing her sister heard her out. What Anna had done was wrong; yet per usual, she did it because she cared.

Elsa was ready to fall asleep right then and there until something vibrated above her. She turned her head to look up. Her body followed. There, her cell phone sat neglected on the end table; the many unanswered notifications blinked on its screen. With a sigh, she took her phone. She scrolled across the screen until she saw one she couldn't ignore.

Her hands shook. Elsa's fingers suspended over the notification- _A voicemail from Honeymaren Nattura. _

She shouldn't listen, but she wanted to.

Before she could debate it any further, Elsa selected 'play'.

Her heart hit her ribs at the sound of Honeymaren's voice, "_Hey, it's me… I know I have no right to ask you this, but I could really use a favor-"_

* * *

_Cheers,_

_-M. _


	26. Chapter 26

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

* * *

**On Monday, Elsa returned to campus. **It was the last day of the month and December was right around the corner. The steady chill in the air reminded her winter was well-prepared to make a forceful return. With it, the semester would end and she'd have a full month to recover from all the emotional turmoil she'd endured.

Being back in class was more challenging than Elsa anticipated. She and Honeymaren hadn't been together for all that long; though that month weighed like a year on her heart. Still, no matter how many times Elsa reminded herself of the brevity of their time together, it didn't dull her sadness.

And unfortunately, being back at the university only fueled those hard feelings.

Her office was where they shared lunch. The library was where they met. They'd taken walks in the quad, parked for the day in the staff lot, but worst of all- there was the coffee shop.

The week prior, Elsa hadn't allowed herself to dwell on all the changes to come. She stayed busy with self-imposed tasks and consciously kept her mind occupied. Coffee- she'd made it in the comfort of her own home.

_But now…_

Elsa looked at the clock.

It was quarter till two.

Avoidance was key, she'd decided. Elsa would stay away from all the places she might run into Honeymaren. If that meant facing the two o'clock blues uncaffeinated, so be it. After the holidays she'd reassess. It was impossible to avoid Honeymaren forever, but for now... it was for the best.

A knock at the door caused Elsa to jump out of her skin. Goosebumps prickled along the length of her arms. Her eyes widened, and she reeled back in her chair.

The timing was perfect. It was right on schedule with Honeymaren's break, but she couldn't! She wouldn't!

Elsa tentatively stood. With a hand to the doorknob, she ushered in a breath. She pulled the door open. Her brow pinched.

_She didn't…_

But the visitor wasn't someone she'd expected to see there.

Helga Sinclair stood before her. She waited a safe distance from Elsa with her hands folded against her tight, turtleneck sweater. As Elsa's eyes continued to enlarge, Helga slowly looked up from her feet.

"Hello," she nodded, her lips pulling to the side.

"Um, hi…" Elsa blinked. She gripped the door-frame harder between her fingers.

"I'm sorry to bother you… _again…_ but I was wondering if I might be able to steal you for a quick walk?"

Jaw wavering, Elsa stepped back. Her arms protectively covered her chest, and she felt her shoulders tighten. Helga watched her cautiously. Her gaze flickered over Elsa's face as she maintained a deliberate distance.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea…" she responded. Her teeth ground together behind her lips.

"This won't take longer than a few minutes, and I promise... it'll be worth your time."

When Elsa didn't respond immediately and her focus circled away, Helga sighed.

"We'll go down to the quad. I won't trap you in your office again. I see now how inappropriate that was." Helga tried again with a slight smile.

Elsa considered her silently. She allowed her eyes to slowly pull across Helga's face. She fidgeted with her hands- an uncharacteristic mannerism for the Helga Elsa had known. Her gaze drifted downward and glazed with guilt.

"Alright," Elsa finally responded, but didn't move from her spot. "-just... give me a second… Let me grab my coat."

She closed the door on Helga and her hand covered her chest; she could feel her heart beating wildly against her ribs. Her face felt flushed, and sweat layered her fair skin.

Before the panic could render her immobile, Elsa plucked her coat off the hook. She slipped it over her shoulders and grabbed her keys.

"Okay," she greeted as she opened the door. "Lead the way."

Elsa locked the handle behind her. She followed Helga down the hall, watching her shoulders hunch beneath black fabric. Together they descended the main stairs and crossed through the foyer, out onto the quad. Both were greeted by a bitter wind. Elsa shivered, but not from the cold. She buttoned her peacoat higher on her neck anyway.

Helga continued until she reached a row of unoccupied benches. She sat at the end of one and watched as Elsa hesitated before sitting a bit further down the bench.

"What's this all about?" she asked, smoothing down her skirt.

Helga folded her hands in her lap. She stared at them, appearing uncomfortable. "First of all, I wanted to apologize... You were right in saying I should never have come here."

Tilting her head, Elsa hummed, "Go on."

"I thought I needed to see you, that it might make me feel better to know you were doing alright. What I hadn't considered, once again, was what my being here would do to you…" Helga looked up.

Elsa furrowed her brow, "I appreciate that, but-"

"I'm leaving, Elsa," Helga interrupted, her chin dropping into a firm nod. "I'm leaving the school. I'm leaving the state. I realize now I can't… can't fully move on while you're still so close. You haven't been an easy feat to get out of my head, Elsa." She smiled ruefully. "I see that the only way that can happen is if I truly let the idea of you go…"

Elsa watched her shrug. "Thank you for this - for the explanation and for giving me the space I need."

Turning away from Elsa, Helga frowned. "I should have done it - for the both of us - much sooner."

Elsa pursed her lips, but didn't respond. With difficulty, she maintained her attention on Helga. Her hands were tucked between her knees to keep them from fidgeting, and she felt the autumn wind pick up against her cheeks.

"There's one more thing," Helga's voice surfaced again. "I want to do something, but only with your permission, of course…"

"I'm listening," Elsa nodded encouragingly, and Helga straightened in her seat.

"I'd like to leave my funding with the library… As you know, I have enough money to get by, and I think it's the right thing to do."

Frowning, Elsa shook her head. "Why do you need my permission to do that?"

Helga smiled sincerely. "It's not the money that concerns me; it's who I'd like to leave in charge of it."

Elsa's confusion thickened.

"I- I'd like to put your girlfriend back in charge of the expansion. She was passionate about it, and it's my fault she lost out on that raise."

Air caught in her throat. Elsa's heart skipped a beat. "If you need it- you have my permission."

"The thing is…" Helga continued. "I don't think she'll go for it, coming from me. If you could-"

"I'm sure the board would be happy to help," she answered in a single breath.

"I see… well, thank you for the permission, then… I don't think I could leave here for a fresh start, knowing I'd messed up your life and her's simultaneously."

"Is that all?"

Helga's jaw tipped before her words would come. "I- yes… and let me just say once more- I'm sorry about everything."

Elsa managed the barest hint of a smile. "I appreciate you giving me this closure… and what you're doing for Honeymaren. It's not perfect, but I know she'll appreciate it."

"Of course," she joined Elsa on her feet. "It's the least I could do after all the trouble I've caused for you." She interlaced her fingers against her waist. "I guess… well, I'll let you get back to work."

They shared a quick glance before Elsa turned back toward the science building.

"One more thing!" Helga called, and Elsa slowly faced her. "So you know… I'll still be at the staff party on the eleventh… I don't want to alarm you, if you see me there."

Elsa nodded, tucking further into her jacket. "No worries…"

"Alright, then," Helga waved. "I suppose, I'll be seeing you…"

Saying nothing further, Elsa returned to the second floor. Her mind had been turned to putty and then layered over with an oddly pleasant tinge of shock. She could never have anticipated this sort of response from Helga, but it comforted Elsa just the same.

She allowed a sensation of relief to wash over her as she approached her door. It felt good to put her years with Helga behind her; however, that relief became a rapidly fleeting thing.

There was a note attached to her door. Elsa frowned as she drew closer. Without much thought, she detached it from the wood and quickly flipped it open.

_Failed delivery attempt for Elsa Aren. Item (1): Coffee._

Perhaps it was the shock of speaking with Helga or the relief of knowing soon she'd be gone; but this note didn't bring her to tears like Elsa would have expected.

Instead, she was reminded that, while Helga was done and dealt with- there was one task left to do before Honeymaren could be put behind her as well.

Unfortunately, it wasn't that easy; because if Elsa did this, it would require letting Honeymaren back into her heart to get it done.

* * *

Anna slid across the hallway in her socks as she rushed to the front door. She pulled it open, eyes wild.

"Elsa?!" She reeled back in surprise.

But Elsa didn't come in. She remained pacing quickly along the front porch; she wasn't looking at Anna and faced her hands instead.

"I didn't want to come here," Elsa started.

Anna closed the door behind her and joined Elsa on the porch in her pajamas.

"I needed to be able to decide these things on my own. After all, that's what I wanted, but maybe I'm as incompetent as you believed- and who am I kidding? I bet you already know! I'm sure you asked her to do it in the first place! God, why am I even here-"

"Elsa, Elsa! Slow down!" Anna encouraged her. She tried to catch her sister's arm, but failed as Elsa continued to circle her frenetically. "What's going on?"

"Like you don't know?" She growled fiercely and stopped short.

Anna blinked, "Uh… I can assure you, I don't. I'm actually a little surprised to see you here so soon after everything else…"

Crossing her arms, Elsa frowned. "Trust me when I say, I have no desire to be here… but I need the help, and I only need the help because _you_ stuck your nose where it didn't belong! So, now it's up to you to get me out of this mess!"

"Uh, Elsa… still a little confused here…" Anna tilted her head.

"See, and this is part of it! Because of everything you did, I can't trust you anymore! How do I know Honeymaren didn't go to you first? How do I know this wasn't another one of your plans to push us together?"

Her shoulders pulled up and Anna sighed. "I know I messed up, and I know we have a long way to go before I can regain your trust, but I promise you… I am _completely_ lost right now… So, tell me, please, and I swear it will stay between the two of us."

Silencing her rapid-fire barrage for a long moment, Elsa's eyes scrutinized Anna's face. She was looking for any sign Anna might be lying, while also doubting she'd know what that sign would even look like anymore.

Finally, Elsa released a deep breath. "Honeymaren asked if I'd give a character testament at the trial."

"Oh," Anna froze. Her eyes widened.

"You didn't know?" Anna's brows lowered, and she shook her head.

"No, I- I don't have much to do with Maren's personal defense… I guess I can't say I'm not surprised, though."

"Why do you say that?" Elsa's frown deepened.

Anna shrugged. "I, uh, don't think Maren has many friends… None who also have a relationship with Ryder I suppose…"

Elsa's arms tightened over her chest. "It's not fair, you know? It's not fair that the two of you put me through this, and then she has the nerve to ask so much of me!"

Sighing, Anna came to sit on the top step. Elsa hesitantly joined, keeping her distance.

"I don't know Maren as well as you do, but I really can't see her asking you to do this unless she felt she had no other choice."

Elsa looked down at her feet. "I know, and that's why I'm as angry as I am- because it's not Maren I'm punishing if I don't go through with this."

Anna slowly nodded. "It's Ryder… and I agree... You might be his best shot."

Her words had Elsa holding back her own. They sat there on her tongue and tasted bitter.

"When do you have to give your answer?"

Elsa picked at her nails as she kept her eyes averted. "By Friday… and I am _really_ angry at you, you know? At the both of you! I can't trust what you say; I can't talk to Maren. I feel like I don't know anything anymore, and I'm tired of feeling this way!"

"I- I know," Anna whispered. She placed a tentative hand on Elsa's knee. Elsa surprised her when she didn't pull away immediately, and instead, let it stay there. "I know we hurt you, and I'm so sorry we did, but listen to me when I say this- I promise I will not stop trying to make up for my mistakes. I will work until I have your trust again, and I won't stop even then. I will fix this, Elsa. I'll fix our relationship, our trust, all of it, for you; because I love you, Elsa. More than words, and more than you could know. It's only because I love you that I messed everything up. I'm going to fix all of this, you'll see.."

As soon as Anna finished talking, Elsa walked away without another word. She was in her car and driving home; leaving Anna alone hugging her knees on the front porch.

And when Elsa returned home, she crawled straight into bed. She buried herself beneath the blankets and curled onto her side. In the dim light of the bedside lamp, she rifled through her drawer until she found the book. Elsa opened to the title page, and frowned as she read the first line.

"Homeward Bound" by Honeymaren Nattura

If Elsa couldn't make this decision on her own, and if she couldn't trust Anna enough to help, perhaps the Honeymaren who wrote this book could give Elsa the answers she needed?

* * *

_Cheers,_

_M. _


	27. Chapter 27

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

* * *

"**This isn't a traditional trial; not like the ones you see on TV. **In a few minutes I'm going to move into the meeting hall with the plaintiff. We're going to start with opening statements and revisit the existing testimony. Then, we'll present new evidence and the witness statements. At that time, the clerk will come to collect you. You won't be on the stand, but I'll remind you that you are under oath, Miss Aren. You'll read your character statement after being introduced by the clerk, and then be redirected to audience holding, where you'll stay until you're dismissed.

"And as I mentioned in our emails, you're not to discuss the defense in any capacity. The judge will call 'hear-say' and your whole testimony will be discarded from record. You're only here to provide character evidence for Miss Nattura. Any additional commentary is unnecessary at this time. Do you understand?"

Elsa sharply nodded, "I understand."

"Good," the woman smiled. "I will see you in there, then."

Elsa watched her walk away. Hannah Phillips was Honeymaren's lawyer. She was young, but Elsa got the sense she didn't let age play a factor in the courtroom. In fact, Hannah fit the exact image Elsa had established in her head before meeting her minutes prior.

She wore her brown hair short and ironed flat; her charcoal suit was immaculately styled and impeccably tailored. Everything about her screamed confidence. Elsa found it made her a little jealous, especially considering the circumstances.

Four days earlier, Elsa had sat with her fingers suspended over her keyboard. Writing the character testimony for Honeymaren had been easier than she'd expected; once she sat down, the words flowed with ease. Getting the document to Honeymaren's lawyer proved to be more difficult. Elsa knew once she hit send, she would be committed. She'd have to see Honeymaren for the first time in sixteen days. They'd be in the same room together, and Elsa wasn't certain she was ready.

Then she thought about Ryder. Her interactions with Rico were minimal, but Elsa was intelligent enough to do her own math. She knew who the better parent was. Elsa knew where Ryder would be safest and happiest. She'd watched Honeymaren make countless sacrifices for the benefit of her son, and at the end of the day, that was all Elsa needed to know.

It was that thought that had Elsa beating her six pm cut-off with only minutes to spare. Being the outstanding professional she was, Hannah Phillips responded immediately. She ran through Elsa's testimony with a fine-toothed comb, gave her the details she needed for the trial, and now here Elsa was - ready to make her case.

Nerves had Elsa wearing her best pale, blue-gray suit. The pants were slim and mid-rise, while the matching jacket hung open and down to her thighs. She'd read somewhere that blue was a compassionate color. It wasn't the most practical knowledge for the courtroom, but it might earn her a spare second thought from the judge.

She was deep in thought, smoothing down the seam on her pants, when someone slid in next to her. Slowly, Elsa looked up. Her heart sat in her throat.

"Anna," she breathed, her lips slightly curling.

"Hiya!"

Anna dropped her bag onto the bench behind them. She slipped off her jacket and readjusted her sleeves.

"How ya doing?" She asked.

Elsa shrugged and her eyes circled the ceiling. "I think I have the easiest job here today."

"I hate trials- definitely the least favorite part of my job." Anna grumbled.

"Am I allowed to ask- what are you doing here? I just realized now how little I know about your job."

Smiling, Anna ribbed her. "It's okay, I have no idea what Earth science is either… but I'm here for Ryder. I've made my own reports; I'll deliver them to the judge the same as you. I'll also stick around after proceedings to document any changes made to Ryder's custody agreement."

"Meaning… if Rico gets full-custody…. It's in effect immediately following the trial?" Her brow quivered as it rose.

Anna's lips pursed and she fought to nod. "Unfortunately… That's _exactly_ how it works."

Elsa's breath caught in her lungs. "I guess I'm glad I work in education, then."

"I guess I'm glad you work in education, too," she teased. "-but, hey… you'll do great! I'm sure of it."

With a deep sigh, Elsa shook her head. "I don't really have much of a choice now, do I?"

"I'm afraid not… but are you hanging around after to see how it turns out?"

She watched Anna's eyes enlarge hopefully. Elsa dropped her jaw, but her words briefly stalled. "I, um… hadn't decided yet."

Anna nodded in understanding. "Well, on the bright-side, if you decide to leave, Honeymaren's lawyer will get you a copy of the transcript in a few days… I'd, um, update you myself, but-"

"I get it," Elsa batted Anna off with a hand. "_Confidentiality…_"

The word rolled bitterly off her tongue and Elsa looked to her feet.

Anna waited, watching her sister closely. When Elsa's eyes didn't return, she sighed. "I'm sorry, but… I have to get in there."

Nodding, Elsa's attention slowly returned. "You don't need to worry about me. I'll be fine here."

She frowned. Anna lifted her bag and jacket from the bench, keeping her eyes locked on Elsa. "I'm not worried.. I care about you, Elsa… and I'm really happy you decided to help."

Elsa shrugged. "It was the right thing to do… for Ryder."

"Well," she took Elsa's arm in her hand. "If you stick around, I'll see you after, okay?"

She merely nodded. Anna squeezed her arm before stepping back. "Good luck," Elsa whispered.

"Thanks!"

She watched Anna walk away toward the set of double doors Hannah Phillips had disappeared behind a few minutes prior. Elsa was alone again. The hallway where she waited was lined with benches and people scattered throughout. She wondered how many of them were there for Honeymaren, and worse, who was there in Rico's defense instead?

Surely, after everything he'd done, this was a fight Rico wouldn't be able to win.

* * *

Elsa sat for what felt like hours before her name was called by the clerk. As she approached the double doors, her anxiety spiked. Her skin grew damp beneath her clothes and her breathing quickened. Whether it was because of the trial or at the thought of seeing Honeymaren again, Elsa didn't know. Her anger toward Honeymaren was irrelevant right now. This was about Ryder, and he was Elsa's main concern.

With her folder in hand, she slipped through the doors. Elsa didn't find herself in the meeting hall like she expected. Instead, there was a narrow hallway before her, and many doors on either side. She followed the clerk down to the very end, listening to her own heels click sharply against the tile.

Voices surfaced beyond an arched opening. She could hear Hannah Phillips speaking to someone, but the words were unclear. Both Elsa and the clerk paused there briefly. He heard his cue and nodded, guiding Elsa to take the lead with his arm.

Elsa drew in a deep breath as she rounded the entryway. She held it, moving forward. When the room opened up, there were no stands nor rows of benches. The trial chamber appeared more like a dining hall than it did a courtroom. There were white walls and antique wood throughout. An audience area was situated at the back, with a lattice inlay for privacy.

The large table at the center was at capacity. With ten chairs on each side, twenty wide eyes looked up as Elsa came into view. Rico was the first person she recognized. He sat there facing her with his supposed lawyer and family at his side. Upon seeing Elsa, his face remained passive. He held his proper stance and kept his hands politely folded. It reminded Elsa of the first time she'd seen him. With his expensive clothes and clean-cut hair style, he looked just like he had that day in the coffee shop.

Elsa was ushered forward to the front of the room. Only then did the plaintiffs' side of the table come into view. Honeymaren had her back to Elsa as she entered; whispering to her mother while turning in her seat. The sight of her loose curls, though, was enough to make Elsa's palms sweat.

She was placed at a podium. The judge sat before her in his standard black robes at the head of the long table.

"State your name for the record," the clerk instructed.

She set her folder on the podium. "Elsa Aren."

"State your relation to Honeymaren Nattura."

Her eyes pulled up. They panned across the gathering before finding the browns that now watched her closely. "Both professional... and personal. Miss Nattura is my coworker and friend."

Elsa quickly looked away. She watched as the judge flipped through his stack of papers. Elsa couldn't think, nor could she breathe; at the same time, she couldn't even remember what Honeymaren looked like mere seconds ago.

"You may proceed."

She felt the clerk moving away from her, back toward the side of the room. Elsa hesitated as she reached for her folder. She felt her shoulders tense and her temperature rise, but upon pulling out her statement and holding it in her hands, Elsa remembered who she was here for. She could see everything as clear as day in front of her…

And in Honeymaren's own words.

With that, Elsa found her voice.

"_This boy was not like other children his age. He had a spirit, a gift. His one task in life was to teach me how to love, and he achieved that before I even held him._

_But with him in my arms, I learned more than love. I learned patience, respect, and the value of time. Through all of those gifts, I was changed by the boy, and it seems everyone who meets him feels the same. _

_His laugh could cure illness. His smile is infectious as it blocks out the sun. He has an affinity for closeness, which is something I'd never experienced before he entered my life; but this story is not about what the boy gave me. It's a tale about what the boy saw in the world, and what the world gave to the boy in return."_

Elsa paused. Her eyes met the judge's low stare.

"I must admit, I didn't write this. What I read was an excerpt from the prologue in Miss Nattura's own novel. The two of us had been friends and coworkers for five months before I was granted the privilege of reading her story.

"It's about a young child, referred to as 'The Boy', who sets off to explore the world. During his journey, 'The Boy' meets many people who are traveling elsewhere. Each of these characters has a very obvious flaw, but 'The Boy' manages to overlook them. Instead, he discovers a gift in every traveler he meets, and he learns to use those gifts - gifts like kindness, selflessness, and integrity. And when 'The Boy' returns home, after his journey is through, he shares those many gifts with his mother…

"Now, I'm aware this is a work of fiction produced by Miss Nattura, herself, but as she's never shared it with anyone before, I feel I'm the only one who can defend the relevance of her own words. Those gifts she discusses learning from her son- they were personality traits Miss Nattura already possessed. I have witnessed the use of these traits many times over, and each one has affected my life in some way; and all for the better.

"In the span of five months, I've seen kindness in the form of coffee, which she spent her lunch breaks bringing to me. I have witnessed selflessness as Miss Nattura elected to work extra hours in the event her department was under-staffed. She's sacrificed weekends, social outings, and her own health to make Ryder her number one priority. From the day I met her to the present, this has never wavered. Miss Nattura puts her son first, and has gifted him with the closeness she describes in her book**; **both physically and emotionally. Closeness during trips to the beach, through painting and movie nights, in colorful murals that take over his bedroom walls… More concretely, she has hand-prepared nearly every meal I've shared with her and her son. She celebrates holidays in excess; plans matching Halloween costumes, and day trips to pick apples.

"Miss Nattura makes certain her son wants for nothing, but the real testament to Honeymaren's character exists within Ryder, himself. Because while her son enjoys the trips and activities his mother arranges for him, I've witnessed firsthand that all Ryder really wants at any given point in time… is her."

As she finished her statement, there was only one person whose reaction she cared about. Unfortunately though, when Elsa looked up from her paper, Honeymaren's attention remained purposefully diverted. Her head was hidden behind her lawyer's, but Elsa could see the tight fists she held above the table.

"Does that conclude your statement, Miss Aren?" Hannah Phillips asked as she moved to the edge of her seat.

"It does," Elsa nodded.

"Yes, thank you for your time, then. The clerk will show you to the audience chambers and you will be allowed to leave upon dismissal."

The clerk motioned toward the archway where Elsa had entered. She grabbed her folder and followed. As she neared the exit, she briefly paused. Elsa's head turned back over her shoulder.

She caught Honeymaren's eyes and watched her mouth, "Thank you."

Elsa looked away just as quickly. She didn't nod or smile, nor did she provide encouragement of any kind… and that felt _wrong_. However, Honeymaren hadn't deserved it. Yet Ryder, he deserved it all. He was worth all the pain and the stress of allowing Honeymaren back into her heart for a final time.

They walked down the hall again and the clerk stopped in front of one of the many doors. He opened it for her with a nod. "You'll wait in here," he instructed.

Slipping past him, Elsa found herself in a small classroom. There were a handful of others waiting behind desks. She moved to the most isolated corner and sat patiently with her legs crossed.

It wouldn't be much longer now, she assumed. Within the hour, Honeymaren and Ryder would have met their fate.

* * *

Time continued moving at a snail's pace. Elsa's attention switched between her phone and the door. Her stomach was in knots. Her fingers twisted uncomfortably in her lap. Elsa wanted out of there; more than that, she worried for what was to come.

The door itself was in constant motion. The first few times it opened, Elsa nearly jumped from her seat. Now, as people came and went, Elsa stayed seated. When Honeymaren's lawyer appeared at the door, Elsa did a double take before recognizing her.

"Honeymaren Nattura versus Rico Henson- the witnesses are dismissed. The trial is terminated. Thank you all for your statements and please exit to the right."

Only a handful of people stood. They made their way toward the door, but Elsa found herself briefly immobile. She watched the others leaving as she pulled herself to stand. Were they not at all curious about the verdict?

When Elsa reached the hall, she looked toward the courtroom. There was no movement beyond the arched opening and she wondered if they were still in session. The thought had her blindly following the few others back to the lobby. She was frowning when she passed through the doors. Her heart said to stay, but her feet were making their way toward the exit.

In that moment, though, she was pulled from her course. Arms wrapped around her waist. Elsa was dragged into a firm hug.

"Elsa, that was- I was in the back, and that was beautiful!" Anna released her. Her blue eyes swimming and rimmed red with tears she hadn't yet shed.

Elsa felt her cheeks growing dark, "Thanks, I- I was telling the truth."

"I know you were! Everyone did! Oh, Els, that was… there aren't any words!" Anna took a step back, bringing a hand to her chest.

"The verdict… did they make one?" Her brows shifted nervously between high and low.

Anna's jaw wavered. She looked down.

"Oh… that's right. You can't tell me…"

When Anna's eyes returned, her sadness dissipated. "I might not be able to tell you, but… I see someone else who can."

Elsa's head tilted and shook. She followed her sister's gaze, turning to see where she looked. Elsa's heart lurched painfully. Her shoulders pulled back and her mind grew faint. Honeymaren approached her from a few short feet away.

"Hi…" she whispered, her feet coming to a stop before Elsa's.

Elsa didn't respond. She tried to reel in her shock, allowing her eyes to fall away. But Honeymaren wasn't looking at her either. Her attention fixed to her hands.

"Listen, I wanted to thank you-"

"The case," Elsa cut her off. "How did it go?"

She felt Anna squeeze her arm. One minute she was there, and the next she'd slipped out the exit, giving them their privacy.

Honeymaren pulled her attention from the floor. "I've been given primary custody…"

"That's good. That's what you wanted, right?"

Honeymaren's shoulders pulled up. "It's bittersweet, I guess. I think… I don't know. Part of me still wanted Ryder to know his father…"

"I understand," Elsa's lips tugged to the side. "I know none of this has been easy for you."

Biting her lip, Honeymaren's eyes were diverted to the wall. "Or you…" she whispered, nearly inaudibly. "I… your statement- it was more than I expected."

Elsa shook her head. "I wanted to help… for Ryder."

"Of course," she nodded. "I… really appreciate it."

"Honeymaren!" someone called to her.

Both turned to where Honeymaren's mother waited beside their lawyer.

Honeymaren sighed as she looked back. "I'm sorry… I've got to get back over there."

"It's fine. I'm just glad everything worked out." She watched her brown eyes waver as Honeymaren tugged idly at her collar. "I'll let you go."

Elsa spun on her feet. She started for the door, the folder clasped tight against her chest.

"Elsa, wait!"

Her feet stopped before she could bring herself to face Honeymaren. Sixteen days. It had been sixteen days since she'd heard her name leave those lips.

When she turned, Elsa's eyes briefly closed.

"Could I-" Honeymaren shook from her discomfort. "I'd like the chance to speak to you. I know I don't deserve it, but…"

Elsa's brows shot up to her hairline. "I'm not sure. I think-"

"After the holiday party, at work." Honeymaren rushed as her voice edged into pleading. "If you decide that you don't want to, I'll understand… But if you might consider it until then…"

Elsa's face hardened and her teeth ground down behind her lips. "I'll consider it," she said shortly.

"That's all I ask."

* * *

_Cheers,_

_M. _


	28. Chapter 28

_**Cold Secrets **_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

* * *

**Holding Honeymaren at arm's length was surprisingly easy. **Aside from the trial, Elsa slipped right back into her new routine. She avoided overly-populated areas on campus. Knowing Honeymaren's schedule allowed her to change her own. Finals meant plenty of grading as a distraction, and someone had tipped her off about the school's delivery service. Everything was totally and completely manageable.

At school, that was…

In life, there was also... _Anna_.

Her sister had always been ingrained in Elsa's day to day - from early morning text messages to phone calls before bed. There were also the surprise visits and random movie nights. Everything in Elsa's life revolved around Anna.

She was Elsa's biggest support system. Giving Anna the cold shoulder hurt Elsa as much as it did her. And it wasn't fair! Elsa was acutely aware that she was not at fault for her hurt. Still, the ramifications acted as her own personal punishment, while simultaneously teaching Anna a lesson about getting too involved in her life.

But in that moment, Elsa had to question who was suffering more? Seated on her bed, surrounded by discarded clothing, she certainly felt like the victim.

Even upon hearing the knock at the door, she couldn't bring herself to move. She was stuck wallowing. Her energy was low. So low, in fact, that Elsa was a brief few seconds from crawling into bed and sleeping her entire night away.

And she should have been more alarmed when her visitor let themselves in. She should have felt terror. Her eyes would have blown wide in fright, but there was only one other person she'd ever given a key to. When they appeared in the doorway, Elsa couldn't fight the expression of relief, though she reminded herself feebly that she was still, _very_ angry.

"I thought so," Anna whispered, slowly entering the room. "I got here as soon as I could."

She placed a series of bags on the floor. Surprise filled her chest when Elsa moved over on the bed, making space for Anna to drop down beside her. Anna did so without debate. As Elsa's head came down on her shoulder, she took her arms and held her close.

"I'm still mad at you... just so you know."

Anna couldn't help but laugh. As she spoke, Elsa had buried her head further into Anna's neck. She might have been mad, but in that moment Elsa looked more than content.

"I know you are, but that's one of the reasons I'm here... Gifts can't make up for all I've done wrong, but they can certainly help you get through your night."

Her head lifted slightly. Elsa frowned. "Gifts? What kind of gifts?"

Smiling, Anna leaned over the edge of the bed. She dragged the many bags onto the mattress and dumped their contents out for Elsa to see.

"That's the other reason I'm here… You always call me for advice before events like this. I figured the least I could do was bring you some new outfits to help spice up your options a bit." Anna gleefully waggled her brows.

Elsa looked down at the assortment. Anna had gone overboard. She'd gone as far as buying her accessories and two new pairs of shoes.

Shaking her head, she sorted through the miscellaneous items. "Anna… this is too much…"

"Please! This is nothing! You should see what I have left over in my car for my own holiday party!" She nudged her softly and pushed the clothes closer for Elsa to examine.

"Well," she sang, her nose scrunching. "What were _you_ thinking I should wear?"

"I thought you'd never ask!" Anna beamed.

She laid three outfits between them. Elsa watched closely, her lips drawn to the side.

"This one screams, '_Yeah, I'm a teacher, but I can also be your student...if you know what I mean'_?"

Elsa shook her head, "Nope, next!"

"Alright, alright!" Anna batted her off. "The next one says, '_Always the professional, but damn I look good doing it'_!"

Lips pursing, Elsa shrugged. "A valid contender, but what's that?"

"That, _my dearest sister_," Anna's grin continued to spread across her cheeks. "-is what I'm calling, the '_Go get 'em'_ outfit."

Her brows pinched. "Go get who?"

"You know, like, take the building by storm! Show off your rockin' bod, but also be mysterious about it. It's a confidence booster- and to be honest, I'm a little surprised you're going for it..."

Elsa's arms crossed and she pouted slightly. "I could rock leather... if I wanted to."

Anna snorted. "It's _pleather_, Elsa! Think of the innocent animals!"

She rolled her eyes before taking the pants from the bed. "I think I'm going to try these on…"

"Don't forget the blouse!"

As Elsa crossed the room in her underwear, Anna sat back on her hands. She waited patiently until Elsa reemerged minutes later. Her cheeks turned red. Her fingers wrung self-consciously at her waist.

Anna's jaw went slack and her eyes enlarged. "_Damn…_ When I'm good… I am _good_!"

"You don't think it's a little… _too_ much for a work party?" Elsa's hands skimmed across the leather of the skin-tight pants before tugging down the blouse.

"Personally, I think it's perfect."

She stood up, crossing the room to Elsa. Anna adjusted the long sleeves over her sister's arms. The burgundy color accentuated the fairness of Elsa's skin, and the top draped loosely around her waist. The hemline tucked into the waistband on her pants, giving her the professional look she strived for; but also, as Anna stated, providing that mysterious sex appeal.

"What do you think?" Anna asked.

Elsa pulled back to look in the mirror. "I think I need shoes."

Anna laughed, shaking her head. "I meant about the outfit, but if you're already talking shoes, I guess I've done my job right! But, oh… wait!"

Turning around, Anna returned to the bed. She picked up a small box and held it out to her sister. Elsa took it. She looked the box over in her hands before opening it.

Her eyes enlarged. "Woah… _pretty…_"

She pulled out an earring and held it against her cheek. They were gold and dangly- something outside of her usual style preference; but they were the perfect additional bit of attractive sparkle.

"This is too much, Anna…"

Rolling her eyes, Anna nudged her. "Put them on! Don't be stubborn!"

Elsa did as she was told. "Fine, but I'm wearing my own shoes, then."

Anna watched her walk away. When Elsa stepped out of the closet, she was wearing thigh-high boots with a fierce stiletto heel. They were black, just like the leather pants, and not at all something Anna expected her sister to own.

"Who are you and what have you done with Elsa?" She teased.

Looking over her appearance in the mirror, Elsa shrugged. "I don't know… I think I look nice."

"Nice is an understatement… but I do have _one, last_ suggestion…"

Elsa caught Anna's eyes through the reflection in the glass. She slowly approached her from behind.

"Lose the bun," she instructed, wiggling Elsa's hair.

Her eyes lowered. She nodded. Reaching up, Elsa freed the tie from her bun, allowing her hair to fall against her shoulders. She gently shook it out.

"There… Absolutely perfect!" Anna beamed. "-and not that you don't look perfect all the time. Now, you just look like you actually believe it."

With a smirk, Elsa's eyes turned downward. She scanned the full outfit. "It's like a new me..."

Anna shook her head. "No. It's the same you… You're just wearing some of your new-found confidence."

Elsa laughed. She surprised even herself by pulling Anna into a hug. When she drew back, she sighed. "Go get 'em, right?"

Nodding, Anna playfully punched her arm. "That's right, Els. Go get 'em!"

* * *

Valley Haven was a vineyard out in the country. Situated on over thirty acres, the updated barn was a quaint location for the university holiday party. Strings of lights lined the roof and entry way. Beneath the clear night sky they twinkled like warm stars. The sight had Elsa creeping closer. Her footsteps were slow, but she felt a rush of excitement course through her.

From beyond the doorway drifted a chorus of many instruments. She heard singing, too; perhaps a blended sound of country and folk. As Elsa stepped inside the foyer, their volume continued to increase. She shrugged it off. For tonight, she'd embrace the livelier lifestyle, and have fun while doing it.

"May I take your coat?"

Turning, Elsa smiled at the host. She slipped off her peacoat and took one last glance at her clothes. It was too late to change now; her discomfort would have to wait. But even in that moment of uncertainty she had to admit, the clothes Anna picked out for her had Elsa radiating confidence.

Despite her timely arrival, the party was already in full-swing. There were nearly six hundred faculty members invited to the event. Elsa knew less than thirty of them, which would save her from standing out too much. Upon entering the main floor, she was handed a glass of wine. She took the stem delicately between her fingers and strode further into the room.

More string lights draped across the wooden rafters above. Support beams were wrapped in fragrant garlands. Tables and banquets with assorted hors d'oeuvres dotted the large space. The windows were curtained in sheer white, and Elsa considered how lovely the venue would serve for a wedding.

But someone else's wedding, _of course_.

On the far left side of the barn, she found a few colleagues from the science department. She met their wives, husbands, and significant others, feeling surprised all the while that she didn't care about not having anyone with her. It was an oddly liberating feeling, to be at ease. In an environment where she usually fumbled, Elsa suddenly felt she belonged- with these people, and at the school she'd grown to love.

There were the new clothes, she considered, but part of her believed the feeling stemmed from something more substantial. It was the job, perhaps; she was good at it. Elsa enjoyed her subject, and the life it allowed her to build for herself.

In the last five months, Elsa had both started and ended a new relationship. She'd stood in a courtroom as a witness on trial. On top of that, she taught seven classes a week. She managed her own house, and despite the many ups and downs, Elsa had learned a lot in a very short amount of time.

She didn't need anyone else in order to find success. There was nothing anyone needed to provide her with, or hold her hand to achieve.

Because Elsa had found success all on her own, and she was here now... and embracing it.

"_Miss Aren…"_

Elsa turned. For once, she kept her cool. There were no knee-weakening heart flutters, nor sudden flares in temperature. She simply smiled.

"Helga, hello… How are you?" Elsa sipped her wine.

"Nearly ready for the big move."

"Oh yeah?" she nodded. "-and where did you decide on?"

Helga laughed, shaking her head. "Washington State, if you can believe it? There's a program out there looking into marine mammal preservation."

"I can believe it. That sounds right up your alley."

"I don't know…" Helga smirked. "I'm not sure I'm fit to be a West Coast girl."

Elsa shrugged. "I'm sure you'll fit in fine. After all, you're nothing if not successful in making a name for yourself."

She grinned, sipping her own drink. "Now, that _is_ true…"

As their small talk continued, the two made their way around the room. There was some dining, more drinking, and a few lively debates between Elsa's department members.

There was something about the evening that made talking with Helga beside her a breeze. She was leaving - this time for good. Elsa had drawn her boundaries, and Helga had honored them. That was just another way she'd found growth in the last few months. It was hard to hate the process when Elsa was feeling so damn good about the progress.

She was smiling when she excused herself from the group. Beckoned into a conversation with her department head, Elsa easily slipped away. She spoke casually with Mr. Avery and his wife. He was singing praises of her last semester when a flash of white caught Elsa's eye. It was the sequined fabric of a dress that captured her attention; it was the trails of brown hair that rained down onto shimmering fabric that held her stare.

But as quickly as the head appeared, it was gone. Swallowed by large groups of people, Elsa lost sight of the familiar profile.

Walking away once more, the first pang of sadness that evening rang straight through Elsa's chest. Prepared or not, she knew seeing Honeymaren there would be difficult. There were too many things to be said, and a mess of chaotic feelings to sort through.

With that thought in mind, she slipped out onto the back patio to breathe.

There, a collection of smokers huddled over an ash stand. Others stood by the fenceline, looking for a quiet minute away. Elsa did the same. Sipping her wine and standing beneath the overhead heaters, she reeled that momentary sadness back in.

Then, a voice lifted behind her. In an instant, her sadness was replaced by absolute shock.

"I'm gonna do it… I have to do it." Grimacing, Honeymaren slid in at Elsa's side. "I am _really_ sorry, but I have to comment on those pants… Are you, _Elsa Aren_, wearing leather?"

Honeymaren's volume lowered cautiously and her eyes enlarged. By the time Elsa turned to face her, her startled expression had calmed.

"It's pleather, actually... and a rarity, I know." Her lips flattened, drawing to the side. The red pigment appeared darker in the dim light, making her look slightly menacing. Honeymaren quite liked it.

"A rarity, she says… but I'll admit, I'm more than a little surprised." Honeymaren's hands clasped at her waist. Her attention turned down at her feet.

Elsa followed her eyes, taking Honeymaren in. "-and you, in a dress. I'm not sure I believed I'd ever see that day either… and one that sparkles, no less..."

"It was a gift from my mom," she shrugged. Honeymaren idly tugged at the fabric clinging sleekly to skin, high above her knees.

"You look nice," Elsa dutifully nodded.

"Thanks… I'd say the same, but somehow I don't think '_nice'_ would entirely suit you." Tentatively, she met Elsa's stare. Honeymaren's eyes darkened and she took a slow step back, shaking her head to clear the daze. "Anyway… I was curious… Have you maybe, considered speaking with me?"

"We're speaking right now, aren't we?" Elsa's brow arched, and Honeymaren frowned.

"You know what I mean."

Lifting her chin, Elsa pursed her lips. "I do… and let me ask you this… What are your intentions? What does speaking to me achieve for you?"

"Elsa…" Honeymaren sighed. She dragged a hand through her hair. "You know what I'm going to say… I'm in love with you, and I can't just make that go away…"

Elsa was forced to stifle a sharp breath. She diverted her attention down to her wine and polished off the glass. She set it down on the patio table before returning her sights to Honeymaren.

"Walk with me, then," she instructed, and led Honeymaren down toward the fields.

The further away from the barn the two traveled, the darker their walk became. With only the stars and moon to guide them, they took their time, their footsteps cautious. Elsa maintained a careful distance from Honeymaren while they walked side by side. She could feel brown eyes watching her, but Elsa stared straight ahead. It was easier than looking at her. She didn't need to see what Honeymaren looked like beneath the stars. The imagery in her brain was painful enough.

She knew this conversation was initiated by Honeymaren, but somehow Elsa found herself speaking first.

"How is Ryder?" She asked.

"He's good," Honeymaren's voice lifted. "He, um- he misses you."

The pang of guilt surprised her. In the last few weeks Elsa had become rather attached to Honeymaren's son. Being away from him was as difficult as keeping her distance from his mom.

"I miss him, too… I'll admit, it hasn't been easy." Elsa sighed.

Honeymaren slowed her steps as they descended down the first row of vines. "It's my fault. The whole time I was so concerned about Ryder getting too close, and then being hurt by you. I didn't consider what would happen when I told you the truth- and it was me who ended up hurting him."

Elsa merely hummed. She wrung her hands at her waist and looked toward the sky.

"Listen," Honeymaren reached out, grabbing Elsa's arm to stop her.

With her brows low, she glanced down at Honeymaren's hand. Elsa was released and took a safe step back. She'd been right, though. Seeing Honeymaren standing there beneath the stars was exactly as she'd pictured it in her mind. The halo of light from the moon against her curls, the reflection in her deep brown eyes - Elsa tried to turn away, but couldn't.

"I know there's the serious side of this that I'll have to get to soon, but first…" Honeymaren reeled in a deep breath. She waited until she held Elsa's eyes, rather than the dark night, before continuing. "What you said- what you wrote for the trial… It meant everything to me, Elsa. When I asked… I knew I had no right, no leg to stand on. I knew I'd probably hurt you more by asking you to do it, but if I had anyone else- if anyone knew Ryder like you've come to know him-"

"Maren," Elsa stopped her. "It's fine. I know why you asked me, and while I was upset at first… I do understand."

Honeymaren's head shook dejectedly, tearing her eyes away. "Still… that wasn't fair to you."

"You're right. It wasn't." Elsa's arms crossed over her chest. "-but in the spirit of fairness, and because I've had a bit to drink… I meant what I said. You should know that."

Frowning, Honeymaren's gaze returned. "You said I affected you for the better…"

"I did," she nodded. "You did. What happened the Sunday we went apple picking didn't negate the ways in which you helped me grow as a person. I realize that now, and more so tonight than I did before the trial. I opened up to you about my accident. You forced me into talking to Helga. At the time, I didn't realize I needed to do those things. But I see now, that by doing them, I moved on and I've been able to heal."

Honeymaren brushed a hand over the back of her neck. "I, um, saw you with her, by the way… Helga.. You didn't come here with her, did you?"

She didn't look angry so much as jealous or maybe anxious, even. Honeymaren fidgeted with her hands as she waited for her answer, and that shot Elsa through with a jolt of confidence.

"Would it bother you if I had?"

With a groan, Honeymaren hung her head. "Of course it would! You know it would," her eyes lifted once more. "Did you do it, then? Did you come here with her tonight to punish me? I guess I couldn't blame you if that were true…"

Perhaps it was the wine that had Elsa wanting to follow through with Honeymaren's assumption. She couldn't, though, and she wouldn't.

"I didn't come here with Helga, Maren," her voice sounded dryer than she would've expected. "Besides, she's leaving, and I thought you would've known that by now, given what she said to me."

Both relief and confusion filtered across Honeymaren's face. "What do you mean, leaving?"

Elsa sighed. She came to lean against the fence post behind her. "I didn't want to be the one to tell you… but Helga came to me last week. She asked for my permission to offer you back the position you turned down. She figured without her there, you might want it. I told her I agreed with her decision and that she should direct it to the board instead of me."

"I meet with them on Monday…" Shaking her head, frown deepening, "This- Elsa, this doesn't make any sense… I hurt you! I hurt you and you've been doing all these nice things for me. You could have ignored Helga's request, and turned down the trial… When you sent back that coffee, I thought you might."

Elsa shrugged. "I wasn't at my desk at the time, but honestly, I probably would have sent it back anyway. I wasn't ready to think about you then, or about what you'd done to me. I needed more time, so thank you for honoring that."

Her brows pinched. "-but you're ready now… ready for me to try and explain?"

She waited a moment, her eyes low. Then, Elsa shook her head. "No, I'm not… but I've been the queen of avoidance for far too long in my life. I'm not happy with you or my sister, but I'm willing to hear you out."

"Okay," Honeymaren breathed. "-but not here," her eyes turned over her shoulder. "I need to be able to see you to talk to you, but not out here in the open, and at our holiday party..."

Elsa's shoulders arched uncomfortably. She grit her teeth, "When, then, and where? You asked me for this one evening, and I considered it."

"I- I know… I know," she soothed a hand over her face. "After the party… meet me somewhere... we'll talk and I'll explain it all…"

Shaking her head, Elsa took a step back. "I don't have my car. I took a cab… Besides, I'm not certain that's a great idea-"

"Let me drive you home, then?" Honeymaren responded quickly. "We can talk there- I don't even have to come inside. We can sit in the car, and then I'll let you go. I promise."

Elsa considered her for a moment. Her eyes darkened further before she sighed. "Fine… You can drive me, but I still think this is a bad decision."

Hearing her agree had Honeymaren grinning. She was struck by a wave of confidence, and found herself taking the lead back up the hill.

"In those pants, Snowflake, I imagine making some bad decisions is exactly what you had in mind."

* * *

_Cheers,_

_-M._


	29. Chapter 29

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

* * *

**Honeymaren had done everything right. **She had kept her hands to herself when Elsa walked slower in front of her. She had kept her mouth shut while she drove. She had even allowed Elsa to pick the music, though originally she'd sworn on her _life_ that the Comet would never hear anything other than classic rock.

But somehow, Honeymaren hadn't considered what would happen if _she_ weren't the problem here.

_It was Elsa. _She was wearing the pants this evening; both literally and figuratively.

Fingers traced over Honeymaren's knee. They ascended her leg and slipped beneath the hem of her dress, settling there and warming her thigh.

"Pull over," Elsa demanded.

Honeymaren did so without debate. She barely had the car in park before Elsa was climbing over the center console in her heels. Thighs slid down to straddle her, and Honeymaren narrowly avoided getting stuck in the seatbelt as she freed it from her waist.

The car was dark- too dark. The barren backroad was held captive by shadows created by the moon, but suited them perfectly for whatever was about to happen here. None of that mattered, however, because while Honeymaren couldn't see Elsa, she could feel every shift and movement as she came closer.

Elsa's weight slipped forward. Her chest braced roughly into the sequins lining Honeymaren's dress. The full lips below hers were parted and waiting as Elsa descended teasingly toward them. And as they touched, Honeymaren was already gasping for air. She wanted to relish in the missed sensation. To have Elsa's lips on hers was dizzying. Kissing her was somehow exactly how she remembered it and better than ever, at the same time. Honeymaren wanted to savor each second, making their moment last...

But for Elsa, unfortunately… savoring the moment was the furthest thought from her mind.

One of her hands found the seat-angle lever; the second descended between them. As Honeymaren was abruptly dropped flat onto her back, a greedy tongue stroked her own. She was blissfully distracted. Her mind revolved around the taste of Elsa. The wine, the chocolate- of course she'd found some; she always did. It was _her_. Elsa was here and demanding each movement with a confidence that had Honeymaren willingly surrendering.

She lifted her hands, taking fistfulls of Elsa's hair. Honeymaren was quickly batted away. Pulling from reach, Elsa's eyes lowered to her. She sat back on her knees. Her fingers traced Honeymaren's stomach and fell beneath her dress once more.

"What is this, Elsa?" Her raspy voice inquired.

But she ignored her. Holding Honeymaren firm with a palm to her chest, the second found her thigh. It danced there, rubbing against soft, coffee-colored skin. Elsa's fingers teased along the hemline of her thong, and she slowly inched closer to the waistband.

Honeymaren's eyes drove wide.

Before she could question her actions further, Elsa sank back down, taking Honeymaren's bottom lip between her teeth. At the same time, her fingers slipped beneath the thin cotton at the apex of her legs.

Honeymaren was ready and more than willing. Her hips arched upward into the touch. Elsa responded in kind by forcing her back down. She trapped Honeymaren between her leather-clad legs and earned a subtle whimper of satisfaction.

Elsa pulled back just far enough to see Honeymaren's face. With one hand beside her head, the second continued its purposeful assault. She watched all the emotions her actions pulled from Honeymaren. Her mouth parted. Her eyes drew tightly closed. Elsa wanted to witness it all; from the start, to what now felt like a very painful finish.

Because seeing Honeymaren like this was suddenly excruciating. As her brown head tipped back further, elongating her neck. As her breathing heightened, and as the volume of her cries increased- Honeymaren became more beautiful than she could currently stand to see.

And that realization had Elsa fuming, a painful memory drifting in...

_...Your sister… she's definitely unapproachable, alright... Are you sure this is a good idea?_

Elsa growled. No sooner than Honeymaren forced her hips into Elsa's touch, while her inner walls clenched around pale fingers, did Elsa slip beneath the steering wheel. Tight leather knees hit the floor, and she buried her head between Honeymaren's thighs. The elastic of her underwear cut into her legs. Elsa forced it out of the way and lowered her lips to where they both wanted them.

_...I guess I finally beat the odds. Wasting my time and money on coffee finally paid off! Your sister said yes! We're on for Friday night…_

This time, Elsa couldn't see Honeymaren's reaction, but she could hear it echoing in her ears. Each gasp, each whine and moan. Like Honeymaren standing beneath the stars… Elsa didn't need to see her to remember what she looked like.

Hands found her hair, and this time she didn't push them away.

_...I can see why you'd call Elsa icy… She's a living, breathing, snow queen..._

She allowed Honeymaren's hips to move freely, then. Her thighs knocked into Elsa's jaw. Her cheeks burned with friction. She continued to bring Honeymaren to her peak once again, however, this time she'd lost all willingness to control it- to be the one in charge here.

One of Honeymaren's heels braced against the dashboard. The second found the door, and she took over their pace. She was pleading for Elsa to take all of her, wanting nothing more in that moment than Elsa herself.

This was what being with Honeymaren had been like. There were the synchronized movements, both responding to each subtle change and variation. Honeymaren would lift up and into her, and Elsa would respond by taking her further; her nose bruising against sensitive heat.

But this wasn't supposed to be that…

_...The coffee's not working! Did you rig this game so I can't win?_

Elsa was supposed to have it _her_ way. She wanted it _her_ way; her own _personal_ game. To take Honeymaren to that state of bliss, and then finally be able to walk away. To convince herself that she was desired, though all she'd come to learn said otherwise.

_...a living, breathing, Snow Queen..._

The ache in her jaw was beyond ignoring. By the time Honeymaren's back arched from the seat, Elsa was falling into her, growing weak herself. She waited, knowing the signs. Only when Honeymaren relaxed back into the seat did Elsa's hand fall from between her legs. Her lips lingered longer; because it was easier than facing those brown eyes.

One more moment, one more breath with her head leaned into Honeymaren's thigh. That, Elsa would allow.

When she ungracefully returned to her knees, she was not surprised when Honeymaren reached for the button on her pants.

Yet pushing her away was difficult. Elsa wanted release, too, but her body had heated beyond desire. There was too much anger, rage, and hurt; they consumed her, and she pushed Honeymaren away.

When she tried again, leaning forward with desperate lips, Elsa forced Honeymaren flat with the side of her hand.

"No," she scolded. Her heels kicked over the center console and she slid back to hide in her seat.

Honeymaren could see that something had changed in Elsa. She didn't dare to follow. Instead, she straightened her dress and the waistband bunching around her thighs. Honeymaren drew onto her knees and spun in the seat to face her.

"What was that?" She asked, her tone purposefully avoiding both humor and praise.

"It was silly… stupid, really…" Elsa's head fell forward into her hands. "I confused my anger with desire… I thought… _I don't know_…. I thought I wanted to say goodbye, to make you remember, and make you feel how I feel…. But I did nothing other than hurt myself more…"

Despite her confusion, Honeymaren smirked. "If that was your idea of punishment, Snowflake… I'm not sure you should've told me about it."

Elsa laughed, shaking her head. She laughed until she cried. "_Don't-_ don't call me that…" Tears fell to her cheeks.

"I'm sorry… I was...I don't know, trying to lighten the mood…" She looked away, rubbing the back of her neck.

"By calling me Snowflake?" Elsa gawked through her tears. "That's how I ended up in this mess!"

"Calling you Snowflake was a turn on?" Her brows lifted and she fought back a laugh.

"No," her head rose. Elsa's eyes were dark. "Seeing you in that dress was the turn on. Calling me Snowflake meant I wasn't going to be nice about it!"

"Oh… because I think you were _plenty _nice…" Honeymaren giggled.

"Stop, just… stop it!" Elsa baited her with an open hand. "No more jokes! No more nicknames! It's time to take me home now!"

Sighing, Honeymaren curled further into her seat. "I'm afraid I can't do that… Not yet- Elsa, we still need to talk…"

"Okay then, talk! Talk about how you lied to me! About how you treated me like a game- a prize that you wanted to win! Tell me why you let me believe I had something to do with it, when you were just looking for a distraction; some way to have fun! You had a point to prove- and that point was me! How could you tell me you were trying to brighten my day, when bringing me coffee was for your own personal enjoyment? Do you know how that felt for me? Do you know what hearing that had meant?"

Jaw slack, Honeymaren blinked. "Elsa, I-"

"You know what? Save it! I just realized I don't want to hear anything else you have to say!"

Her anger was surprising. So much so, it had Elsa jumping up from the car and slamming the door behind her. Honeymaren had to scramble to keep up. Her legs were wobbling over the asphalt, and her voice stuck in her throat.

When it finally surfaced, Honeymaren's own anger surprised her in turn. "Elsa, stop it! This is ridiculous! You're not walking away from me in the middle of nowhere! Besides, I thought you said you were done avoiding me?"

Elsa spun on her, still backing away. "I don't owe you anything!" She snapped, and turned back around.

"You're right. You don't, but you do owe it to yourself!" Honeymaren's arms crossed as she continued coming toward her. The headlights on the car drew further and further from their sight. "Elsa, please! Stop running away and talk to me!"

But Elsa wasn't listening; she continued to march on, down the narrow country road.

"I messed up, okay? I royally and completely screwed up!" Honeymaren yelled after her. "I should have told you the truth. I should have been honest with you about my friendship with your sister, the coffee, the trial; all of it! I was so embarrassed by myself, and by everything going on with Ryder's father. I'd never been with anyone aside from him; and the person I found myself enamored with was totally and painfully closed off. Not to mention- completely off limits!"

Elsa stopped short with her finger raised. "Your embarrassment can't compare to what _I_ felt when I discovered everything between us had been a lie! When I saw how you really felt about me back then! If I was that cold and unapproachable, and such a blatant waste of your time, why did you keep coming back?"

This time Elsa allowed her to come closer. Honeymaren stopped a foot away. The headlights held her in shadows, while Elsa was washed in a soft yellow glow. Honeymaren could see each line and wrinkle anger pulled across her fair skin. It was terrifying, and sexy, but the latter she held at bay.

"Do you recall how many times I tried to talk to you before the coffee? Did you even remember my face?"

Elsa blinked, her back drawing incredibly straight.

"Holding the door for you, greeting you when you walked in... Eventually Anna said I should sit down and just start a conversation, but I knew that would rub you the wrong way… Anna suggested the coffee- but I was already trying, Elsa! I was already looking to get your attention. I knew your name, but your face… I figured that all out on my own!"

"You wanted my attention because of my sister… _your game_… you only knew or wanted anything to do with me because of her!"

"Even if that were true - which it's not - why take it that far? Why give you my book? Why let you into my home and to meet my son?"

Growling, Elsa stepped forward. "That's not fair! It's not fair to have said those things about me and then turn around and make me believe that I was something special- that I had something to do with it!"

"Something to do with it?" Honeymaren nearly snorted. "If you don't think you had everything to do with it, Elsa, you are out of your damn mind!"

"Please!" Her eyes rolled. "You told my sister you beat the odds! I was your off-limits prize that you needed to win in order to feel good about yourself!"

Honeymaren's mouth was wide and ready to fire back, but Elsa's words had left her stunned. Her jaw snapped shut and her eyes opened wide.

"Can you honestly say you believe that's true?" Honeymaren faltered.

Elsa mimicked her stance by crossing her arms. "Why shouldn't I? I was the Snow Queen, wasn't I? You called me unapproachable, closed-off… you made me your personal science experiment, remember? I was the game you needed to win!"

She pulled another hand through her hair, shaking her head at the same time. "Those things I said... the comments I made to your sister... They were terrible, yeah- but I was in over my head! I was blindly infatuated with someone who wouldn't give me the time of day. I was desperate and determined, but you were also _more_ than worth the effort!"

"How can I trust that?" Elsa's eyes grew darker still. "How can I trust _any_ of what you say to make up for the hurt?"

Thinking for a moment, Honeymaren sighed. "I guess you can't…" She looked down to her feet. "Right now... I don't know how to make you believe me… But-" her eyes returned. "You can let me try? You could let me back into your life, and allow me the time to prove to you that _this…_ _us_... _is all I want_."

Elsa didn't respond. Her brows lowered.

"I'm in love with you, Elsa Aren. My _son_ is in love with you. Before we met, and before I got to know who you are… I made some really bad assumptions… But since then, I've learned about your past. I've met your family…. I got to see behind the wall you put up to keep others at arm's length, and everyday... I came to love you more. I learned that my assumptions weren't even _close_ to the truth.

"But isn't that how it's supposed to be? Isn't that what getting to know someone is supposed to be like? Your sister knew how you came across to people - to strangers, your students, and the staff- but I wanted to know the 'you' that _she_ sees. I wanted to understand why someone so beautiful felt they needed to hide themselves away.

"So I fought a little harder, and I saw that my own messed-up life would cause you nothing but more stress. But you asked me back, Elsa! And that's when I let you in... to see the rest of me! The part that doesn't hide behind silly assumptions, and books, and has a complicated life, but so much love to give! And I want to give that love to you. Because no one is more deserving. No one is more perfect, or selfless, or better suited for me than you!

"So what do you say?" Honeymaren took a breath. Her brows pinched and her hands pleaded at her sides. "Can we try this again? Will you let me make up for the hurt? Because if you say yes, I can promise you... I'll never give you another reason to feel like that again."

Elsa considered her silently for a long moment. Her eyes traced Honeymaren's face. She curled her shoulders protectively into her chest, hands rubbing circles against her upper arms.

"I think…" she bit her lip. Elsa's eyes turned down. "I think I just want to go home."

Honeymaren simply nodded, "Okay, let's get back in the car, then, and I will take you home."

Elsa watched her go. Honeymaren led the way, but following her was suddenly the most difficult it had ever been. From behind, she looked broken… _defeated…_ Elsa felt the urge to help, to set things right… But at that moment, she was feeling too much the same. Her own broken heart had her dragging her feet as she started back toward the car.

By the time she was seated with the belt across her lap, Honeymaren was pulling away from the curb. She turned the music up. Loud bass filled their ears. Wisps of loose brown hair shielded Honeymaren's face.

She couldn't hide, though- not from Elsa. When Honeymaren brushed away the few tears that had fallen to her cheeks, Elsa noticed and her own tears resurfaced.

* * *

The Comet parked in the lot across from Elsa's apartment. Neither woman said a word. Honeymaren pulled the keys from the ignition, and Elsa's eyes were lost to the passenger window. If she noticed they'd arrived, she didn't show it.

Honeymaren cleared her throat, beckoning her attention. Her head tilted sincerely and she tried to force a smile.

Elsa turned to her slowly. She looked past Honeymaren and toward the brick entrance. Merely nodding, she undid her belt. Her hand went to the door, but something touched her shoulder and stilled her movements.

When Elsa looked back, Honeymaren had leaned in closer. Her eyes were wide and compassionate. "Please, don't go… don't leave it like this…"

Sighing, Elsa dropped her gaze to her lap. Her fingers anxiously intertwined against her legs. "What do you want from me?" She breathlessly asked.

"You, Elsa… I only want you." With a hand to her jaw, Honeymaren directed Elsa's eyes toward her own. "I want you, exactly the way you are; all of your flaws, your quirks, and imperfections. I want the person from the library I fell in love with. Please... don't throw everything away because of the stupid comments I made before I really got to know you."

Elsa's head drew away from Honeymaren's touch. "Do you still believe them- the things you said?"

She undid the belt, turning in her seat. "Do I think you're cold and unapproachable?" Her eyes lowered. Honeymaren reached out and pushed the hair from Elsa's face. "Everyday since I made that comment, and even before then, I was going out of my way to be near you- to get to know you. I might have said it, but I never believed it… and _cold…_ Elsa, the thought of you makes me feel warm. The way you love my son, the way you love me; that makes you the warmest person I know."

"-and the game?" Elsa prompted softly. "Do you still see me as a prize?"

Shaking her head, Honeymaren pinched Elsa's chin. "You were never the game. The game was always _me_. When I said it… It was you who I wanted to take the chance on me…"

Honeymaren's thumb brushed along her bottom lip. It stroked back in the opposite direction.

"Take me home," she finally whispered.

Honeymaren frowned, shaking her head in misunderstanding.

"Your home," Elsa continued. "That's where I want to be."

* * *

_Cheers,_

_-M. _


	30. Chapter 30

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Chapter Thirty**

* * *

**Positioned in front of the mirror, Honeymaren adjusted the collar on her blazer.** She fluffed her bangs, settling them flat. All the while her eyes filtered over her outfit, checking it twice. There was not a curl on her head out of place, and her black slacks were perfectly pressed. Yet there was more to keep in mind than her appearance this evening. Honeymaren was acutely aware of that, and it kept her mind painfully distracted.

So distracted, in fact, she didn't notice when someone came to stand behind her. It wasn't until arms wrapped around her waist and Elsa's chin appeared on her shoulder that Honeymaren learned she was being watched the entire time.

She smiled softly. "Are you sure we shouldn't tell your sister we're coming?"

Shaking her head, Elsa turned with her lips to Honeymaren's jaw. "No," she mumbled against her skin. "Catching her off guard will be half the fun..."

Honeymaren groaned. Her head tilted back as Elsa's teeth teased against the bend in her neck. "You're terrible! You know that?"

"Serves you both right," she whispered. "Think of it as my personal punishment for keeping secrets from me… Now, I have one final secret of my own."

Spinning on her, Honeymaren had Elsa's back pressed into the mirror. Her knee wedged between Elsa's thighs, parting her skirt. "No more secrets," Honeymaren dared.

Wide eyes found the browns before hers. "No more secrets," Elsa's breathing hitched before she drew back with a sly smirk. "_-after tonight…"_

With a hand to her chest, she pushed Honeymaren off her. She tried to slide by, but Elsa was snagged behind the neck. Honeymaren pulled her back, sealing their lips together. An arm wrapped at Elsa's waist and she was lifted off her heels.

Arching over her, Honeymaren dropped her forehead into Elsa's. "I love you, you know that?"

She smiled. Elsa's fingers knotted around her back. "I do know that, and I love you too, but I wouldn't fault you for proving it to me again."

Honeymaren's lips pulled to the side. She pushed Elsa backwards until she had her splayed along the mattress. Straddling her, Honeymaren caressed the length of Elsa's sides. She had her trembling beneath her and Elsa's blue eyes blown wide.

"Okay, _this…_" Elsa breathed. "-we _really_ don't have time for…"

Honeymaren ignored her, lips ascending Elsa's neck. "Consider it a placeholder… I'll finish where I left off when we get home later…"

Elsa whimpered as teeth latched onto the sensitive spot behind her ear. She allowed her hand to cover the back of Honeymaren's head, encouraging her actions further. But as all thoughts regarding time were beginning to fade away, a cry brought Elsa back to reality. She had Honeymaren turned onto the mattress in a split second. She kissed her quickly before sliding her feet to the floor.

Perched up on her elbows, Honeymaren watched her walking away. She fell back into the bed with a desperate groan. A hand covered her face and she waited for her pulse to return to normal. Once it had, she removed herself from the mattress. She crossed the floor, ascended the stairs, and leaned against the door frame.

Ryder was running circles around Elsa, dressed in only his diaper. She was trying to get him changed into his party outfit, but he'd turned the attempt into a game. Everytime Elsa lunged for him, Ryder dodged just as fast. He went to make another quick turn, but then suddenly found himself confined in his mother's arms.

"Are you sure you can handle this all on your own next week?" Honeymaren teased, handing Ryder back to Elsa.

He went to her willingly. Ryder flashed Elsa a large smile as she tickled his belly. She pulled the shirt over his head and slid him into his pants. She settled Ryder back on his feet, and instead of running again, he sat himself in her lap.

He looked up at his mother- the perfect example of a well-behaved little boy.

"It's four days, thank you very much," Elsa shot Honeymaren a playful glare, her arms circling Ryder's waist. "-and it's only for a few hours. Besides, you know the only reason you're bringing it up is because you have to work while Ry and I get to spend all our time together watching movies and eating M&Ms."

She lowered a hand to Elsa and pulled them up from the floor. "Trying to make me jealous, Snowflake?"

Elsa simply nodded. She brought Ryder's face in close to her own. "Is it working?" She pouted.

Honeymaren leaned in as if to kiss her, but placed her lips on Ryder's forehead instead. "You know it is… and that's why I _fully_ intend to make you pay for it later."

Elsa's voice caught in her throat. Seeing her fumble caused Honeymaren to grin. She took Elsa's wrist in her hand and dragged her forward.

"Come on, you two… We've got a holiday to celebrate!"

Elsa waited until their fingers intertwined before allowing herself to be directed toward the stairs. "First of many?" she asked.

Turning over her shoulder, Honeymaren winked. "The first of many... and that's a promise."

She stopped before the top step and captured Elsa's lips. Ryder's hands tugged at her hair, but she didn't care. Elsa was there, and in front of her, and sighing into their kiss.

Honeymaren drew back back, shaking her head. "I'm beginning to think you'd rather stay here than see your devious plan set in motion..."

"Not on your life. Now, lead the way, Miss Nattura..." Elsa waved her forward with an open hand.

Honeymaren only stalled for another moment, kissing her again quickly, before leading them out toward the car.

* * *

Elsa gave a short knock on the door and let herself inside. With Ryder in her arms, Honeymaren cautiously followed. Still leading the way, Elsa kicked off her shoes. She helped Ryder with his before taking him from Honeymaren. Her expression was pensive, anxious even. The uncharacteristic display had Elsa stifling a laugh.

"You don't have to look so afraid, you know? She's not going to be upset."

Turning to her, Honeymaren lowered her eyes. "If being raised by my mother has taught me anything, it's that you should never show up to a holiday party unannounced! There's meals, and planning that goes into it, and-"

Elsa placed her fingers on Honeymaren's lips. "First of all, it's not a party... It's dinner. And secondly, you need to relax… Now, you can stay here and fret if you want, but Ryder and I are going to have some fun."

After lightly pinching her chin, Elsa walked away. Before she rounded the corner out of the hall, Honeymaren had caught up. She stole Elsa's hand with her own and squeezed their palms together affectionately.

Then, they stopped, both waiting for chaos to erupt.

"Hey," Anna greeted evenly with a quick glance in their direction. "Appetizers are in the oven now. The roast is done. Can I get you _guys-_"

She suddenly stopped. Her back was toward them as she straightened over the stove. Shoulders drawing tight into her neck, she allowed the oven to close with a loud bang.

Anna slowly turned and her brows touched to her hairline. "-anything…" She finished with a breath. Shock continued to streak across her face. "_You-_ you're here?"

Anna pointed at Honeymaren.

"I am."

Her finger swiped back toward Elsa, "-and you... _you're_ _here…_"

"My sister, ladies and gentlemen, in the art of observation," Elsa smirked.

Simultaneously shaking her head and hands, Anna leaned back into the counter. "You're here _together_?"

"Well, I mean we could have come separately, but that would have been a little strange, seeing how we were both leaving from the same place and everything..." Elsa's lips stretched further as she lowered Ryder to her feet.

"I- I don't understand…" She fumbled. Anna blinked and lowered her eyes.

Then, in one quick instant, she shook from her daze. She came at Elsa fast, snatching her hand and yanking her back into the hall.

"Kristoff!" Anna shouted up the stairs. "Maren's here! Bring Millie down for Ryder and, I don't know… talk to them or something!"

Elsa was being shoved through the door and onto the front porch. Anna spun her in a single breath. A pointed finger raised between them, but any scolding fell victim to her rapidly growing grin.

"Maren's here!" Anna bounced slightly on her toes. "She's here, and with you, and- oh my god!"

Gasping, she leapt forward. Her arms wrapped around Elsa and she hugged her tight. Anna's face buried into her sister's neck. Her tears began, streaming lines across her bright red cheeks.

"Are you crying?" Elsa sharply pulled back. Laughter stuck to her tongue as she watched Anna crumble before her.

"I'm just, I'm _so_ happy!" She sobbed. "-and I'm so, so, _so_ sorry!" Her arms flung deftly around Elsa once more.

"Anna… It's alright," she soothed, her hands drawing circles into her sister's back. "All is forgiven. Maren and I… we sorted it out. I was angry… and embarrassed… but it was silly for me to waste my time feeling that way. We can all move on now... I promise!"

"I know, but-" Anna choked back. Her arms fell limply at her sides and she shook her head. "I really messed things up for you, and I'm so happy you could fix it despite my mistakes!"

Giggling softly, Elsa brushed the tears and matted hair from Anna's face. "You know, I meant to catch you off guard here, but it was never my intention to make you cry like this!"

She sniffled. "It's not your fault… I've just… I've been beating myself up for weeks! I almost ruined a good thing for you, and-"

"Anna, enough! It's okay!" Elsa took an arm around her shoulder and led Anna back toward the door.

"No, wait! But how? What happened? When did it happen?" She'd turned on Elsa, preventing her from getting inside.

Her shoulders inched toward her ears. "The holiday party…" Elsa rubbed the back of her neck and Anna gawked.

"But that- that was almost two weeks ago!"

Elsa's eyes rolled toward the overhang. "We had some things to sort out before we were ready to face the rest of the world…"

Anna was suddenly crying again. This time, she brushed her own tears away. She shook her head and batted Elsa off with a hand. "It's _you_, and _her_. It's the hormones and, god… It's everything! I'm just _so_ happy!"

"I'm sorry, the _what_?" Elsa dropped her jaw.

Laughing, Anna bent over her knees before raising. "It was supposed to be a surprise! I was going to tell you tomorrow as a part of your Christmas gift, but look at me! I'm a flipping mess!"

Elsa joined in her laughter. She hugged Anna fiercely, and they both turned to tears.

* * *

"So, you expect me to believe you didn't know about anything that was going on between these two?" Elsa arched her brow as she dragged a pointed fork between Anna and Honeymaren.

Mouthful and eyes wide, Kristoff shook his head. "No, I swear!" He swallowed. "I only learned who Maren _really_ was on Halloween… and Anna didn't tell me about the case until after that!"

"Looks like there were two of us living in the dark, then." Elsa smirked before taking a bite of her food.

Honeymaren ribbed her. "That'll be enough of that!"

"I was only teasing you…" Elsa pouted and turned her attention back to Ryder who was seated between them.

Though he had a tray filled with his own food, his mouth dropped when he caught Elsa's stare. "More? Ahhh!" He grinned.

Elsa happily obliged, feeding him a spoonful of her potatoes.

She felt Honeymaren's hand fall to her thigh. Heat soared through her skin, and Elsa lifted her gaze.

"What?" She asked. Her brows lowered.

Honeymaren merely shrugged and turned back down to her own meal.

"It was those pants, wasn't it?" Anna asked from across the table. Her attention eagerly flitted between the two women.

"Well, the pants certainly didn't hurt anything, that's for sure…" Honeymaren nonchalantly rolled her eyes.

A steady blush drew across Elsa's cheeks. "If I had it _my way_… the way I planned it… they would have been something for you to remember me by..."

"Snowflake, remembering you in leather is not going to be a problem. Trust me… Besides, I can still dig them out of the laundry if you're feeling nostalgic?"

Honeymaren's words were clear. Everyone heard her. The comment had Anna laughing, and Kristoff covering his mouth as he coughed up his food.

With a glare, Elsa pushed her shoulder into Honeymaren's arm. "Nice," she deadpanned.

Honeymaren grinned smugly .

"I don't know about you," Anna leaned in at Kristoff's ear. "-but I could really get used to holiday dinners like this one…"

Anna didn't, and wouldn't say, "I told you so", but in that moment- she certainly wanted to.

* * *

Wincing, Honeymaren quietly closed the door behind her. She tiptoed from the bedroom where she found Elsa waiting for her. With a hand extended, Elsa held out a mug. Honeymaren smiled and happily accepted it.

"Spiked cinnamon hot chocolate," she told her, watching Honeymaren take a delicate sip. "I made it for tomorrow, but I figured we could have a small taste tonight…."

Honeymaren's lips curled around the edge of the glass. "It's spicy…" She mused.

"I might've added a bit of chili to yours." Elsa shrugged. Blue eyes followed her movements as Honeymaren set down the mug.

She spun her, throwing a hand against Elsa's shoulder. She pushed her onto the sofa and followed her down. Their hips met first, and their lips, second.

"I wondered how long you might last before doing that." Elsa whispered breathlessly.

Honeymaren's teeth nibbled along her jaw. "_You_, in that skirt," she groaned. "_Please_, I was nearly tapping my foot to get you out the damn door."

In demonstration, Elsa felt two hands slip beneath the hem of her skirt and claim her hips in a firm hold. "Really? Because I thought it was the pants that did you in?"

Honeymaren snorted. "No, Snowflake… It was _you_ who did me in…. The pants meant I wasn't going to be nice about it."

Elsa openly laughed at the memory. Her head tipped back and her arms laced around Honeymaren's shoulders. "Good, that means my plan worked, then."

Pulling back, Honeymaren arched her brow. Before her, Elsa's blue eyes twinkled.

"The pants," she smirked. "-when I saw them… it wasn't to give you something to remember me by… it was to give you something to fight for instead."

She appeared taken aback by Elsa's words. Her eyes enlarged and her jaw slightly dropped. "Elsa, I-" Honeymaren shook her head. "You should never doubt the lengths I'd go to in order to fight for you."

Fingers tangled into brown curls, and Elsa sealed every inch of Honeymaren into her own curves. "I'm sorry I ever doubted it."

"I'm sorry I ever gave you a reason to."

Elsa smiled, her head tilting sincerely. "Kiss me now and I'll never doubt you again."

* * *

_Cheers,_

_M. _


	31. Epilogue

_**Cold Secrets**_

-M. Lauren

* * *

**Epilogue: Two Years Later**

* * *

**Eager hands were pulling her up from the bed before her eyes had even opened. **A groan escaped her lips as her feet hit the cold floor. Fighting a yawn, Elsa soothed a hand over her tired face.

"What's going on?" she asked raspily.

Honeymaren dropped her hold on Elsa. Standing before her, she bounced over her toes. "Come on, come on, come on! He won't last long!"

Pouting while she did, Elsa slipped Honeymaren's discarded shirt over her arms. "This is not quite the birthday morning I had in mind," she mumbled, and fastened the buttons up to her chest.

"Quit your complaining and hurry up!"

She had barely finished when Honeymaren was dragging her by the hand once again.

Elsa was pulled from her bedroom and into the light of day. The living room, which they now shared, was spotless despite the chaos of toys that had existed there the night before. Holiday decorations still adorned the fireplace. The Christmas tree remained lit in the corner, and before it sat a large gift box with a lid and giant blue bow.

Elsa lowered her eyes and turned to Honeymaren. "Christmas was _two_ _days_ _ago_."

She watched Elsa's arms cross. "Were you not the one stubbornly reminding me only _two_ _seconds_ _ago_ that _today_ is your birthday?"

Elsa didn't move. "I don't like surprises…"

"-and I don't care!" she fought and pushed Elsa forward by her shoulders. "Just open the damn box!"

Drawing in a deep breath, Elsa lowered to her knees. She spared one last glance at Maren before reaching out to slide her fingers beneath the lid. Before she could release it, though, the top of the box was being thrown clear across the room. Ryder stood inside with his hands raised straight into the air.

"Elsa!" Ryder shouted. "I'm in the damn box!"

"I see that!" She beamed and lifted Ryder onto her hip as she stood. She turned sharply to Honeymaren and deadpanned, "You put your son in a _darn_ box?"

A folder revealed from behind her back, and she extended it between them. "Our son," Honeymaren grinned.

Eyes lowering, Elsa took a step away from her. Her hands tightened around Ryder and she tilted her head. "Excuse me?"

"Our son," Honeymaren stated again. She opened the folder and held it up for Elsa to see.

Elsa's frown continued to deepen. She glanced over the document in front of her and her jaw went slack. "Certificate of Adoption?" she whispered, allowing Ryder to slide down her waist and back onto his feet. "I- I don't understand… You want me to adopt your son?"

A hand raised to cover Elsa's mouth as her eyes glazed. At the sight, Honeymaren felt her chest expanding. "You've been like a second parent to him for over two years now. I thought… well... why not make it official?"

She was frozen to her feet. Elsa's wild stare was tracing over Honeymaren's face, and searching for any sign that she might be joking. When she found none, her knees went weak. Elsa blindly stumbled backward until she was seated at the edge of the couch.

"It's only if you want to," Honeymaren assured her. "I'd never want to pressure you into being in his life anymore than you see you fit."

Words stuck to her tongue as Elsa dropped her hand. She blinked and shook her head. "Adopt Ryder?" she asked again.

Honeymaren slowly nodded. "It would mean so much to both of us if you would..."

Though confusion filled his tiny face, Ryder staggered over to Elsa. He placed a hand on her leg and his brow furrowed. "Elsa's gonna be my mommy, too?"

He wasn't asking Honeymaren. He was asking Elsa directly. His question had her losing her breath and tears sliding along her cheeks.

When she brought herself to move, Elsa was sweeping Ryder from the floor. She hugged him to her chest and cried openly into his hair. "Yeah, bud… _yes_... I'll be your mommy, too…"

Honeymaren dropped the folder to the couch and swiftly pulled Elsa to stand. Her lips landed against her forehead, arms wrapping at her waist. Ryder groaned between them, but neither woman cared.

"Can you handle one more question?" Honeymaren asked, wearing a smile large enough to block out the sun.

Elsa's jaw wavered, and she gave, what appeared to be, a baffled nod.

Nudging Ryder, Honeymaren flashed him a grin. "Go ahead, Ry," she prompted.

Both she and Elsa turned to watch him struggle to open the pocket on his button down. His little legs kicked and squirmed over Elsa's hip, and she held him even tighter.

Ryder's fingers slipped inside his pocket and he retracted a diamond ring.

"Will you marry my first momma?" he asked, his head tilting to the side.

And Elsa nearly lost it at the sight.

She was nodding, and her happy tears flowed harder.

* * *

_Cheers,_

_M._

* * *

**Upcoming work...**

* * *

**Milk and Mountain Sorrel**

_-M. Lauren_

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

* * *

_There were two things of which Maren was absolutely certain-_

**The first being, she hated Elsa Arend. **Maren hated her more than anyone else on the planet, and hate was quite the strong word for an eleven year old. From her posh clothing to her proper way of speaking; Elsa Arend was the worst kind of person to exist. How dare her family allow Elsa into their home! It made no sense to Maren why her older brother, Finn, would want to spend all of his time crushing on a girl who was so high-maintenance.

Girls were gross, but then again… so were boys. Really, it was people whom Maren had a problem with.

The second thing she knew for sure was that she loved her older brother. _Finnley Tor Nattura. _He was the best brother a sister could have, and way better than the one Maren had shared the womb with.

Finn was smart and funny, and he always let Maren tag along, even when she was being her annoying self. He helped her with her homework, he never complained that she was in the way, and he let her assist with the repairs on his truck.

Maren guessed that's why Finn was her favorite person on the planet. If she grew to be half as cool as him, Maren thought she'd be doing all right.

Finn's only flaw... was his taste in girls. _That's right._ Her older brother's crush on Elsa Arend was _terribly_ disturbing. Watching him fawn over her; the visual set Maren's teeth on edge. She was supposed to be Finn's Number One Girl! That's what he'd always told her, at least.

When Elsa Arend arrived in the rural mountain town of Northuldra, two weeks prior, Maren assumed they'd fall right back into their old ways. Elsa's mother, Iduna Arend- she'd grown up here. Iduna and her own mother, Astri, had been best friends since birth. Both Elsa and her sister Anna were sent to spend their summers in Northuldra as an escape from Arendelle City. This was their home away from home now, and always had been.

As kids, Maren and Elsa used to play well into the night, exploring the forest and finding the tallest trees to climb. She'd been looking forward to her visit up until the very minute Elsa had stepped onto their front porch.

It was her! Maren was certain of it. The bright blue eyes and very fair skin- it was definitely Elsa Arend. But there was something so different about her as well...

Elsa no longer wore her hair down. She pinned it back into a stiff bun, and dressed in fancy lace skirts. And there was no way she planned to run around the forest in her shiny black shoes. Climbing trees? Never going to happen with those painted nails! _Gosh_, _who was this teenage girl?_

Anna, however, she looked the same as she always did. In dirty sneakers and her casual shorts, _yes... Anna would play with her_.

But losing Elsa as a friend hurt worse than Maren expected. She loathed the changes one school year had brought to her, but Finn… Well, _he loved them. _Her brother had spent their entire visit so far trying to impress Elsa Arend. He held the door for her. They took long, boring walks.

And one night, Maren had even caught the two sneaking out of bed to talk by the fire.

_It was awful... _

Not only had Elsa changed and promptly shoved Maren aside, but she was stealing Maren's best friend away, too.

That's why Maren _hated_ her... _(To be continued)_

* * *

_See you soon, _

_M. _


End file.
